Madison

Starting the week looking at Noah, all pompous in his suit, makes my blood boil with rage and heat. The images from Saturday afternoon won’t leave my mind, the man has overwhelming power over my body. I still feel his taste in my mouth and his smell on my skin.

I was so surprise when I saw him at my door, I was joking on the texts. Then I wondered, what did Alyssa say to him? Because we left there alone, and I thought it was better for her to sleep at my house than to go home in a taxi at that hour. I never imagined her brother would act on his threat, and just thinking about the look in his eyes when I opened the door, gives me goosebumps.

I can still feel his mouth on me, his unshaven beard on my skin, his hands tightening on my breasts. And every time I think about it, I get wet. But it goes away when I recall his words, thanking me. Thank you for your services, Counselor. That awakens Chuck, the killer doll, inside me.

This is the last week I’ll be working here, a part of me is thanking God for pulling me away from here, resisting him is becoming more and more difficult. But I’ll miss everyone I met here, the little time I spent with Harriet was enough to love her like a protective aunt. It’s nice to see how she cares for Noah, the affection she shows when talking about him.

When he got to the Office, I was helping Harriet organize her desk. She still feels some pain, and can’t move around, so I went to help her. Just as he went in, he sat down and began to work, ignoring those around him, that is, me. It bothered me, I don’t know why, but it bothered me. I left the room irritated, who does he think he is to ignore me like that? It doesn’t even look like he fucked me two days ago. I smile as I remember... and then Chuck comes out to play. I shake my head and go back to work.

After a while, the phone rings and it’s Harriet, asking me to go to the Judge’s Chambers. I take a deep breath a few times and I walk over.  I barely walk into the room and I hear Noah say my name.

“Madison.”

“You’re a smart man, Mr. Judge,” Harriet says, “This is Madison’s last week here at the Courthouse and this way we can celebrate it with a bang.”

“She was serving her time, Harriet.”

The lady looks at him with an ironic smile. And I’m just standing there, not understanding a thing.

“I know, anyway...” she turns to me, “Madison, Noah will be honored in Boston this Saturday night, and he’ll be having two appointments on Thursday and Friday. You are to travel with him as an assistant to help him with his schedule and accompany him at the Gala. So, get yourself a good dress.”

This is not going to work! The last time we were alone together I broke two vases trying to hit him, and if he dares to talk bullshit again, I’ll grab whatever I can. I look at him with blood in my eyes.

“It wasn’t my idea,” he turns his attention to the computer and goes on, sarcastically, “I wouldn’t be a fool to want take you with me, Miss Harver.”

What an idiot!

“I’m aware, Judge. Courage is something you don’t use very often. Carly doesn’t like it and ...”

Noah points his hand at me and says to Harriet, “Do you see why this is not a good idea? This is not going to work. And Carly is old news.”

I promptly say, “I agree with the Almighty, this is not gonna work.”

Harriet shrugs.

“Just try not to kill each other in Boston, I’m not allowed to travel, and I won’t be able to go the funeral.”

“Yes ma’am.”

I lose myself in Noah’s gaze, reminding myself of what happened that day and how much I enjoyed everything... how I liked the taste of him. In his own way, I’m sure that’s also going through his head. He’s crazy, he doesn’t respect the presence of an old lady, giving a demonic smile and running his tongue over his teeth to remind me of the bites that are purple and deliciously sore.

You want to play, Your Honor? So, let’s play it right! I close my eyes a little and place the pen in my mouth, moving it, giving the impression that I’m sucking it. His smile disappears. Touché, asshole!

I follow Harriet to the other room and she sits down on the chair facing the desk. I’m embarrassed by her analytical stare.

“Is there a problem, Harriet?”

“You and Noah think I’m just a dumb old lady,” she shakes her head, “The sexual tension between you two is so intense that even I felt it.”

I put my hand to my mouth and my face warms again.

“What a kinky old lady,” I say, laughing, “But let’s not exaggerate...”

“I’m very glad you two found each other in this life.”

“Harriet, he’s engaged, and from what I saw at that party, they’re soul mates.”

She smiles.

“Young people... Not everything is what it seems. You know, a lot of people go through life without having the opportunity to experience love. So, make the best of it!”

The woman is already talking about love. I change the subject quickly to focus on something other than me, but my head is stuck on his grin. The bites he left on my ass are purple and depending on how I sit, it hurts. And, as much as I deny it, I adore them. I adore Noah. Fucked up, right?

The day goes by in the blink of an eye. I left the Office and went straight to the club. Rebecka sent word that there was something important to talk to me about. I just hope it’s not a problem. Well, since I’m involved, it’s definitely some kind of trouble!

I change my clothes and I head to her Office, the door is open, and I see the guys inside. I do the cross sign before going in, this is more serious than I imagined. I knock on the door, that is already open, and everyone looks at me.

“Come in, Maddie.,” Rebecka says, smiling.

I go in and face them, one of the few imposing women I know. Those three men in suits, sitting side by side, would make any woman go crazy. Even Mother Teresa would have wet her panties.

“What can I do for you, gentlemen?” I ask with my heart doing the cha-cha-cha in my chest.

Rebecka gets up and comes to me. This is very weird...

“From now on, you are a part of the Secret Garden Board.”

Ben points to a chair between him and Noah.

“Come sit in your Board chair, Red.”

“Rebecka’s been running the club all by herself for years,” Chris says, looking at me, “We’re here just to lend a hand. But you do a lot more than that, you handle the girls, everyone respects you and, especially, you can share the responsibilities with Rebecka. I hope you accept this position, Madison, because we’re honored to have you with us.”

I nod, and Noah says, “We hope you understand the seriousness of this decision, Miss Harver. We never considered putting anyone else among us, you are the only exception.”

“No words... Thank you...”

Chris and Benjamin hug me, welcoming me. And when it’s Noah’s turn, the bastard grabs my waist and pulls me towards him. In this position, no one can see what he’s doing, running his thumbs along the side of my breasts, and biting my shoulder. Son of a...

With the mixture of lust and anger added to his rough behavior and this man’s perfume, I get dizzy, having to use his arm to stand straight. They start to talk, and my imagination takes me far. Well, not that far, it takes me back to when he threw me on his desk, lifting my skirt, ripping my shirt, biting...

“Madison? It’s everything alright?” I turn around and I see that it’s Rebecka who’s calling me.

“It is? Oh, yes, it is. I think,” I make the mistake of looking at Noah, who has that smile of triumph on his lips. Asshole. “I just remembered that, on Thursday, I’ll have to go on a work trip with Judge Lancaster and...”

They turn to Noah with curiosity.

“Actually, we’ll be leaving Wednesday night. I have some appointments in Boston, I’ll be honored there and neither Harriet nor Alyssa can accompany me. I need someone to help me and it was either Madison or Robbie.”

Ben shivers as if he’s cold and makes the sign of the cross.

“No one deserves Robbie,” he looks at me, “To me, she’s the reincarnation of Anabelle.”

“Oh My God. I wonder what you guys say about me behind my back?” I reply.

“That you’re hot...” Christopher is the first to talk.

“That, in a bikini, you get even hotter...” Benjamin adds.

“That you’re beautiful...” Chris says, putting a lock of hair behind my ear, and goes on, “That you look like Jessica Rabbit...”

Benjamin walks over, kisses my neck and says in that sexy way, “That you’re the wet dream of any man.”

Noah takes the two of them off me and throws them aside, he gets closer, gluing his body to mine.

“I say that I made the Counselor of desperate women scream my name while I made her cum.”

Noah, despite being a gentleman most of the time, sometimes makes awful mistakes, getting worse than an ogre.

“I’m a great actress, don’t you think? Oh, Noah... Oh God... Oh... Uh... I take a bow, and the others burst into laughter. “Well, gentlemen, great talk, but I have to work. Excuse me,” I practically run out of Rebecka’s Office and rush to go back to work.

*******************************************

The next two days were rough. Harriet is not yet fully recovered from her surgical procedure, so I do my best to take care of everything. On Wednesday, she gave me the afternoon off to treat myself, nails, hair, waxing. Maybe there’s a pool, who knows? I’m not putting on a bikini looking like an Irish Cheetah.

In the late afternoon, a car came to pick me up to take me to the airport. Noah’s face when he saw me walking towards him in that dress, and attracting everyone’s attention, was priceless.

The pencil-cut dress is dark green and extremely tight. The top is laced up with an extravagant cleavage, if I’m not careful, my porn-actress breasts can pop out, the liner is the same color as my skin and the fabric fits my body very well. The moment I saw this dress, I knew it had to be mine. For my feet, I opted for a black peep toe, and the composition made me very sexy.

I felt like Angelina Jolie on the red carpet, walking through the airport, even nodding to some people I didn’t know, just to mess with the Judge’s mind. Noah was possessed.

“Good evening, Your Honor.”

“Good evening, my ass,” he says between his teeth, “Where do you think you’re going in that dress?”

“I’m going on a trip with my dear boss,” I run my hands through his suit and make a cute little girl face.

He runs his hand through his hair and sighs... Well, it was more like a puff! He takes off his suit jacket and puts it on my shoulders.

“They’ve already announced our flight.”

We walk side by side to the plane and, since he’s an important judge, we were escorted the entire time. My walk was so bouncy that I looked like one of those Brazilian women, dancing the samba. Every two steps, Noah loosened his tie, and I laughed.

We went through the whole flight in silence. While he was working on his notebook, I made notes on improvements we should implement at the Secret Garden. Every now and then, I glanced at his face, I don’t know how he can be so handsome, no, it’s more than that, Noah has that manly man vibe. It’s refreshing to find someone like this in this era of metrosexuals, where men take longer to get ready than women.

When we got off the plane, there were a few cars waiting for us on the runway. We were taken to a wonderful hotel and our suites were facing each other. As soon as I close the door, I rush to take off the dress. No one told me how hard it is to look hot, I even felt light-headed on the plane. At one point I thought I was gonna pass out, I got up and went to the bathroom for let the blood circulate a little.

After taking a shower and feeling comfortable, I ordered some food and opened my laptop to check my emails. I had given a brake on the counseling, I was no longer willing to help anyone, but I do need to fill my idle time with something, and I like giving my contribution to the world. Helping these girls find themselves is priceless.

That day at the nightclub, I was so happy for Tracy, and I hated her all the same. If it had been in another time, she’d never have approached him, and when they talked, Tracy would’ve been fantasizing about their future together. I’m proud of her, for opening up to the world and having new experiences. But I also hated her for choosing that useless man to get her claws on. I go to the bathroom mirror and I analyze the marks he left on my body. I smile as I remember the pleasure these painful bites made me feel.

Back in the bedroom, I go back to bed and open my first e-mail.

“Madison,

I want to apologize for our last meeting. At the time, I was outraged about the way you spoke of my boyfriend. In my head, he just needed a push to take the next step in our relationship. Since then, I’ve been thinking about everything you said, and I think you’re right. Now, more than ever, I need your help. Please...

Becky.”

One of the girls at the club introduced me to Becky, saying she needed some advice. According to her friend, she was so deluded by the guy that she stopped studying, and had no social life, she just waited for that boyfriend who showed up when he wanted to. We went out for coffee, and she told me that she preferred to stay home at his disposal, because he was her life and, the entire time, she’d look at her cellphone to see if he called or texted. So, I told her that this wasn’t right, that she couldn’t keep waiting for someone who didn’t care enough to be with her. The woman freaked out.

“Hello, Becky,

It was never my intention to disrupt your relationship. What I wanted was to show you that while you wait, your life is passing by before your eyes. You’re a very interesting and intelligent woman, don’t waste that, find something that gives you pleasure and dedicate yourself to it. Don’t wait for the years to pass by, in the future you’ll regret the missed opportunities.

If you want to wait for him to make your decision, wait for him. It’s not for me to tell you what to do about that. As your friend, my role is to help you move your life forward while you wait. If it eventually doesn’t work out with him, at least the rest of your life kept going, and you’ll be able to say you did something you can be proud of, in the meantime.

One more thing, when we love, we don’t need to be pushed, on the contrary, we rush things.

Take care,

Madison.”

The second email is even more disturbing, Mandy is sad because her friends are against her relationship, they tell her that the guy doesn’t love her. But then she says that, yes, he does love her, but that his life is complicated. And yet, her love is enough for the both of them. People take too much advantage of his kindness, and she understands it. Every now and then, he disappears, and she doesn’t hear from him, but she knows his family can be demanding, hogging him for themselves. Oh My God, how much illusion in just one person.

“Good evening, Mandy!

Have you ever wondered why your friends’ opinion is so important to you? Well, their opinion has affected you, because deep down we know there’s something that doesn’t really fit in this story, don’t we? Remember that we can only make the other happy when we’re happy ourselves, we can’t just be happy when the other person is around.

Relationship is a delicate thing and it requires dedication from both parties. Think hard about it, it’s not enough for just one person to love and to be devoted. It’s not enough! But, while he’s dealing with his problems, why don’t you focus on yourself? Go to a beauty salon, get your hair and nails done. Go out with your friends, live your life! That way, you show them that even in a relationship, you haven’t stopped being who you are.

Perhaps the key to a good relationship lies in how much we’re dedicated to ourselves. That’s not selfish at all. We can only live fully when we’re feeling well on the inside. We’re the only ones capable of effecting change inside ourselves.

Take Care,

Madison.”

I read and replied three or four more emails. I stretch my neck, change my position and another email comes in. I think about not opening it, but I see the sender and I smile. It’s from Cheryl.

“Hello Madison,

How are you doing? I hope you’re well. I’m here today for something different, I came to thank you.

Many months ago, I hit rock bottom and I saw no way out. I hadn’t left the house for days, I only went out to see a therapist, and only because I was forced to. My best friend had moved to New York, making those days even more painful. I really had given up.

Then, one day, she called me. She was very worried and said there was someone who she wanted me to meet, a friend who had a different way of seeing life and maybe that would do me some good. And she forced me to e-mail that stranger. And so, I did... I remember writing that I was fat, ugly and despising. Her reply was a shock to me: ‘My darling, if you think that about yourself, give me your address and I’ll send you the knife.’

At first, you made me react to something. Then, you worked on my self-esteem. You did things for me in eight days with your unorthodox advices that no therapist did in five months, like watching porn movies of chubby girls, getting into social media groups of people who enjoy plus-size bodies. And in these adventures, I met women who are proud of who they are and are full of life. They don’t care about their size, but about their character.

I remember when you said: ‘Would you rather be with someone that rates people by their aesthetics? I rather be with someone that rates people on their character.’ I’ve incorporated that into my life since that day. And the pictures? Imagine my surprise when I got a call from a Plus Size model agency to do a photo shoot. You made it happen, Madison. And today I’m here to thank you. Thank you for all you’ve done for me, even without knowing me and gaining nothing in return.

Today, I’m asking only for your address, so I can send you the invitation for my wedding. I insist on having you here and being able to hug you tight, look into your eyes and personally thank you for everything. You gave me back my will to live, you made me see that I’m beautiful, and helped me understand that I was strong. I pray to God every day and ask Him to protect you, because angels like you are rare in this world. The world needs more Madisons.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Cheryl.”

I cry compulsively. This kind of thing is priceless. Knowing that I’ve made a difference in the world, that I did something good for someone, it makes me feel less unwanted. Since my parents disowned me, I’ve been living with this sense of rejection and it hasn’t been easy, it hurts a lot.

I close the laptop and just stay there, in the dark, crying alone. Every time I receive a thank-you like that, I get a little depressed. I struggle to push this sad feeling away, it haunts me, after all, my own flesh and blood disowned me. And the question, Why I am like this? rolls around my head day and night. What Noah said that day is still on my mind, that this kind of advice looks more like personal vendetta. Am I that mean?

I sit there, quietly, for a long time and realize that I haven’t gone through Noah’s schedule for tomorrow. I get up, tripping over something and turning on the light. I go to the bathroom to fix this puffy, pale face. When I come back to feeling normal, I call the judge’s suite.

“Hi,” his voice is so sexy. Hearing it like that gets to a person’s psychological.

“Sorry to bother you, Noah. But I forgot to get through your schedule for tomorrow.”

“And you only just remember that?” Of course, he’ll complain about it.

“I was busy.”

“Your only occupation right now, Madison, should be me.”

He wears me out.

“At one o’clock in the afternoon, a car will come to take you to the University where you’ll be speaking. And after that, you’re having dinner with the Boston Magistrates, right here at the hotel. Then you’ll be free for the night. Just remember that, on Friday, your speech will be in the morning, at ten o’clock to be exact.”

“Gonna take us, dine with us, and free us...”

He spoke gibberish. I couldn’t understand a thing.

“I don’t follow, Noah.”

“The car will take us, we’ll have dinner with the Magistrates and we’ll be free after that. Where I go, you go. If I have to tend a dinner, you also have to. If I run, you run...”

“What if you get fucked?”

“No one fucks me, but I can fuck you,” he says in a lower voice than before, making me wet my panties.

“You’ll never put your hands on me again,” I say.

He breathes.

“As long as I can put my dick on you, I can keep my hands away.”

I start to laugh and choke a little.

“Oh, Your Honor. I forgot how romantic you are.”

“I can be even more romantic, Red.”

I’m already wrapping the phone cord around my finger, desperate with desire. All this talk in my ear, with that voice, is driving me crazy.

“I don’t know...” I say in a sweet little girl’s voice. I know it’s pathetic, but men like it, and I like that man... Please, tell me this didn’t come out of my mouth. I close my eyes and slap my forehead. I’m screwed. “Good night, Noah.”

“Good night, Madison. I hope you have sweet dream about me.”

“Tell me, do the girls fall for that cheap line?”

He laughs, and I smile in response. Noah is just adorable.

“Actually, I don’t need to wish them sweet dreams about me, I know they’ll dream about me. Especially, if they’ve already felt my touch. Good night, Miss Harver.”

“Good night, Your Honor.”

I hang up the phone and keep thinking. What now? How do I sleep after that? Well, I could knock on his door and ask to borrow some sugar. He won’t even notice we’re in a hotel. After the talk with Noah, I forgot the sadness that was crushing me. That’s what I like about him, he makes me forget what’s not good for me. I get under the covers and the tiredness takes over me.