Noah

My days on this Earth have been a fucking hell. I look in the mirror again and see that it is getting darker around my eyes. Three sleepless nights, added to a punch in the nose, resulted in my two black eyes. Madison left her mark, on my face!

Since that damn night, I haven’t shut my eyes. Every time I close them, I remember the pain in Madison’s eyes. After she left my house, I ran after her, but it was useless. She sped off with the bike, leaving us desperate. Chris, Ben and I got a lot of people after her, the problem is that the woman is an expert at disappearing.

I start to go through that night for the thousandth time. I called Madison to ask her to come home, she was doing overtime, and everyone was here for her Birthday Dinner. Alyssa and I thought it was a good idea to do something like that. I called her from the Study, and when I got back, Carly was standing in front of my friends.

“This is not a good time, Carly.”

“We have to talk, Noah, right now,” she says arrogantly.

I turn my back and head for the kitchen.

“It’s not a good time...”

Then she speaks the words that made my world stop.

“I’m pregnant with your child, Noah.”

“It can’t be...”

She hands me a paper with the logo of a renowned Lab in the city and in it, the word ‘Positive’ spelled out in huge letters. Rebecka speaks, taking me out of the nightmare.

“Is that even possible, Noah?”

“IT IS...”

Alyssa freaks out.

“Madison is gonna hate me for the rest of her life.”

“Sis-in-law, this is no time to think about Madison. I’m carrying your nephew, it’s time to think about us.”

I take a deep breath, “There’s no ‘us’. There is my child and I ...” I say to her.

Rebecka comes close to me, “You slept with her, while you were with Madison?” I nod, and she goes on, speaking louder than ever, “How could you? Not you...”

“If it’s any consolation, I don’t even remember what happened that night. The only thing I remember and, I’m sure of it, was waking up with Carly.”

Benjamin holds her while she lashes out on me. I see Alyssa angry and crying and, right then, Madison comes in. She walks up to us, looks at our faces and asks what is going on. I was going to explain, but Carly does it first.

I see the confusion in her eyes. She doesn’t ask questions, just nods and starts to go up the stairs. I breathe, relieved. I would have the chance to tell her my side of things and, who knows, she could forgive me. But fate wasn’t so kind, Madison stops on the second step and asks how far long Carly is. She replies, seven weeks, and then, my world, really, came crashing down.

While I tried to get her to listen to me, Madison kept saying that I cheated on her. I wanted to explain that I didn’t even remember doing it, but I didn’t get the chance, she punched me in the nose and I got dizzy. She was cold enough to say goodbye, got on the bike, and left. I went after her, but it was too late.

I went back inside, and Rebecka came up to me.

“I always prided myself on having you as a friend because you were one of the most righteous person I’ve ever met. I’m disappointed. If anything happens to Madison, have no doubt, I’ll blame you for the rest of my life,” she turns to Carly, “And you were able to show me just how low a woman can ever go to get what she wants.”

She leaves, Alyssa climbs up the stairs and I look at my friends, they’re as lost as I am.

“We have to find Madison.”

Quickly, everyone starts calling their contacts and we got some P.I.s and security guards on the streets looking for her. It was late at night and she was nowhere to be found. Where are you, Madison?

Five o’clock in the morning, the Courthouse clerks found out that she had checked-in at an emergency room and that she was treated for a nervous breakdown and dislocation in her right hand. When I got there, she was already gone, but I found out that Cole checked her in and I went after him.

“Good morning, Aidan.”

“Good morning, Noah. How can I help you?” He asks, very serious.

“I want to talk to Cole.”

“He is sleeping. Well, we were. Cole was at the hospital until Madison disappeared. After he got tired of looking for her, he came home to get some sleep.”

I run my hand through my hair and breathe deeply, exhausted.

“Aidan, please, if you see Madison, let me know. I’m going crazy.”

We say goodbye, and he closes the door. I leaned against the wall to think about where else Madison could be. I go back to the car and drive home, I still had to deal with the hardest part, to settle things with Carly. On the way, I call and ask if Carly is still there, Martha says yes, she refused to leave until I arrived. My headache gets worse.

I walk into the house and shout for Martha to bring Carly to my Study, let’s get this thing straighten out. She comes in.

“Are you happy, Carly? Are you satisfied with the carnival that you brought into my home?” I ask her, with irony.

“We had to work it out, Noah. I’m carrying your child, you have an obligation.”

“And I will do my part. I’ll pay child support and I’ll be present in this child’s life...”

She screams, “NO! You have to marry ME!”

I laugh bitterly.

“Not even if you were the last woman on the planet. Benjamin will take care of the legalities, you’ll be taken care of until the child is born, and after that, I want a paternity test. After that, we’ll talk about money. Whatever you need, talk to Benjamin.”

“That’s how you’re gonna treat me? Like a surrogate? We were together for two years, Noah Lancaster. I did things for you that I would never do for anyone else.”

I nod to her, “You’ve proved your point by getting pregnant. Now, please excuse me. I have to find my girlfriend.”

After she left, I called Alyssa to talk. I need to make my sister understand that I like Madison, that I’m desperate to hear from her. She walks in and sits down.

“Have you heard from Madison, Noah?” She asks me in her sweet voice.

“No, and I’m going crazy,” I go around the table and lower myself in front of her, “Alyssa, I did not cheat on Madison consciously, I would never do that. I really don’t know what happened that night. I’m crazy about that redhead, I’d give anything to go back in time and change everything. Just the thought of making her suffer is tearing me apart...”

Alyssa smiles.

“She messed you up pretty good... Have you seen yourself in the mirror?”

“No. But it hurts a lot. I’ve taken painkillers and nothing. Without you by my side, I don’t know how much I can take.”

She hugs me.

“You’re a fucked-up bastard son of a bitch, but you’re my brother. I love you, Noah, and I’ll always be here for you. Just do me a favor, don’t get anyone else pregnant.”

“I’ll try,” I say, laughing, “Since when has your profanity vocabulary been so extensive?”

She just laughed.

The next day, two of the club’s bouncers brought my broken bike home. When I saw that, I almost had a heart attack. If the bike looks like that, Madison must’ve gotten hurt pretty bad. But one of them told me that it was Madison herself who did this, and that’s probably when she hurt her hand.

I asked them to put it next to the bike I bought her as a birthday present. That devilish Red is a speed addict, I thought about giving her a sports car, maybe one like Ben’s, but knowing her like I do, I know she wouldn’t take it. But the bike I’d insist she take it.

Madison likes the color black, says it’s more imposing, so I bought a BMW S1000RR just like mine, but I had it customized. Her initials are intertwined with the bikes name in the gas tank, as if her name was part of it. On the sides, you can see the name Madison written. The bike is one of a kind, straight from the assembly line to my garage to give her as a gift.

Since then, it’s been days with no news from Madison, and it broke me. I put on my sunglasses, which are now part of the look, at least while I have these black eyes. I head for the Secret Garden, I need to talk to Rebecka about everything that’s happened. She is one of my best friends, she has to help me...

I get to the club and go straight to her Office. I find Christopher and Benjamin sitting in front of Becka, who makes an ugly face when she sees me. I sit in my usual chair and realize Madison’s chair is still there. That should be a good sign. Christopher and Benjamin greet me, I go to Rebecka and kiss her on the head, she willingly accepts, because, deep down, we love each other.

“You look terrible, Noah,” she says, “And I’m not even talking about the black eyes, you look very tired.”

“I haven’t been sleeping, I’m worried about Madison,” I look at Rebecka, opening my heart, so she can see through my eyes, “Becka, I did not have sex with Carly consciously. I don’t even know what the hell happened that night.”

“I know,” she says softly, “The thing is, my friend, that you hurt Madison, you cheated on her. And to make matters worse, Carly now is carrying your child, and now, you won’t get rid of that woman anytime soon.”

“Let’s forget about her, okay? Let’s focus on Madison. I need to hear from her...”

“From who?” Madison goes into the Office with a clipboard in her hand, “Good evening gentlemen.”

I get up and go to her, I look her from head to toe, to make sure she’s okay. Despite the bandaged hand, it looks like everything else is fine. Very fine, by the way. Even more so in those leather pants.

“I’ve been looking for you like crazy, for days, Madison. How are you?” I ask.

She smiles, but the sadness in her eyes doesn’t go unnoticed.

“I’m fine, Judge Lancaster. I can’t say the same about you. What happened to your handsome face? Looks like someone clocked you pretty good.”

The others laugh, I turn to them and the laughter stops immediately. They go on their way, leaving us alone.

“We need to talk, Red.”

She sits down in the chair Rebecka just vacated and focuses her attention on the computer.

“About your bike?” she pretends to be frightened, “I’m so sorry Your Honor. A crazy car ran through it,” she puts her hand to her mouth, “Oops!”

“Madison, I don’t know what happened with Carly that night, it’s all very foggy. I can’t remember how things happened, give me some credit, please.”

“The only credit you need is in that woman’s belly,” She gets up and walks towards the door. But, before she leaves, she turns to me, “I’m only sorry for the choice you made, Carly is not a good person. You should know that already.”

I go after her, and corner her in the hallway.

“I need you in my life, Madison. For God’s sake, please forgive me.”

“You missed your chance, Your Honor. Now, let me go, I have to get back to work.”

And there she went, the ex-almost-future-woman-of-my-life.

*************************************

“You look handsome as ever, Noah,” Harriet says, “The bruises healed completely.”

“Thank God. I even had to wear Aly’s makeup.”

She laughs and leaves the room shaking her head. At the end of the day, I don’t know if I head home or to the club. Lately, I’ve been to that place just to watch over Madison and to get angry. That Red has made my days a torment.

I decide to go to the club to try to relax because it’s been more than two weeks that I do nothing but lose my temper. She parades through the club with those clothes every time shorter and tighter, the men practically fall on her breasts. Last week, I kicked an unfortunate drunk out of the club because he was harassing her. I look at the case file on my desk and decide to finish reading it before I leave.

I arrive at the club around ten, and the house is packed for the debut of a new dancer. Rebecka and Madison started doing that some time ago, they send invitations to a big show or premieres, and today is one of those days. I greet the acquaintances and head for the bar where Christopher and Ben are sitting to watch the show.

I’m looking around for Madison, but I can’t find her anywhere. I ask Ramon for my beer and I keep looking at my cell phone. The atmosphere was already in a half light, but when the song started to play, the lights went out. A strong beat song from The Weeknd is heard, The Hill, I know it because Madison listened to it insistently while the new girl was in training.

“Fuck!” Ben says, jumping from the bar stool.

“Fuck!” “Christopher does the same thing.

I turn to see what is happening and regret it at the same time. The light is focused on the center of the stage, illuminating Madison, dressed in some kind of white vest with only one button, so tight that it makes her breasts almost jump out. From where I stand I can see a piece of the black lace bra that makes everything even more explicit. The skirt is too short, if she bends down, she’ll be all exposed. The long black stockings highlight her legs, and that garter could fuck with anyone’s mental state.

As the song plays, she goes down the pole, moving her hips, making a sexy face, leading me, more and more, to the edge of my anger. The idiots clap and scream, they want it, they want what’s mine, damn it! I swear to God I’ll kill one by one...

(...) When I'm fucked up, that's the real me... I only call you when it's half past five. The only time I'd ever call you mine. I only love it when you touch me, not feel me. When I'm fucked up, that's the real me. When I'm fucked up, that's the real me (...) In this verse, she gives the impression that she is riding, using the chair as a prop. I can’t stand it and I get up to go to the stage and get her out of there.

Chris and Ben hold me down, and I can see two bouncers coming towards us. I turn to the stage and see Madison on all fours, pointing to a son of a bitch. Everyone is glued to her like a mirage in the desert. The pain in my chest is so intense that I start to break everything on the bar counter. I try to get away from whoever is holding me, and they drag me out of there.

Before leaving, Madison looks at me and repeats the words of the song, (...) Who are you to judge, who are you to judge? Hide your lies, girl, hide your lies (...) I give up resisting and I get out of there on my own.

I go into the private room and start to walk back and forth in the hopes that my anger will dissipate, but the more I walk, the angrier I get. What the fuck’s Madison doing? How could she do that number? Fuck, she’s mine!

Rebecka comes in and looks at me uneasily. I take a step toward her, she steps back in fear. Benjamin and Christopher come in front of me.

“Do you really think I’d hit Becka? Or any woman for that matter?” I ask, outraged.

“We don’t know anymore. We’ve never seen you like this, man. And that’s making us worried, Noah. You could have a heart attack.”

I turn to Rebecka.

“I’d never hurt you, Becka. I’d never hurt a living being, my God.”

She comes up to me and hugs me.

“I know, my friend. I know... Calm down, Noah. Please.”

As she steps back, I reach for a vase in the corner and throw it on the wall, scaring everyone in the room.

“Every time her half-naked image comes to my mind... I’m filled with fury...”

“What’s going on here?” Madison goes into the private room dressed in regular clothes, a dress and a coat. Thank God, she’s covered.

I go towards her.

“How could you do that? Are you insane?!”

She looks at the others with impatience and turns to me.

“First and foremost, Ramon is doing the inventory of everything you’ve destroyed at the bar,” she points her finger to my face, “It’s not because you’re on the Board of this club that you can go around destroying everything. Tomorrow, an invoice will be sent to your Office.”

I run my hand through my hair and pull them to see if my anger goes away, or at least the need to kiss her face. I take a deep breath a few times, I try to compose myself and talk to her again.

“Why, Madison?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you dance on that stage with that outfit?”

She looks at me and what I see in her eyes has the same intensity of a stab in my chest, contempt.

“Because the new girl was sick. Because I wanted to. Because I can. Because I owe no explanation to anyone. Because I’m free to do as I please,” her voice gets louder, “Because I have to overcome a new betrayal. Because the jerk got the bitch pregnant. Because it hurts every time I remember everything that happened ...”

I hug her, and she hits me nonstop.

“Calm down, please.”

“I hate you, Noah... I hate you...”

“I love you, Madison ...”

She pulls away from me and walks away.

“Why did you do that? Why do you insist on hurting me like that?”

The look in her eyes says all I need to know, I’ve lost her. I could spend my life trying to convince her that I love her, but it wouldn’t make any difference. Madison already has her deep-seated convictions and one of them is not to forgive anyone who betrays her. I go to her, kiss her forehead and say, “You may not believe it, but I love you. Goodbye, Madison.”