I spent the weekend holed up in my apartment, my nose buried deep into my textbook studying for my Solid and Fluid Dynamics class. Grades from the last exam had been posted online and I'd just barely passed, which came as a complete shock. I'd crammed harder than ever for that test.

On Sunday, a group text message appeared on my phone, with each of the guys asking if I was okay and if I wanted to come over to Dane and Red’s for dinner. I nearly cried when I read it, I was so touched by their kindness. It was at that point that the remaining worries I had about intruding on their group vanished. I would've gone, if I hadn't been for my scores. I told them I needed to study and that I'd see them in school.

It turned out that Viggo and I had classes that were at the same time in the same building, so on Monday I met him outside of campus, and we walked over together.

"I studied so much for that test," I told him, wearily. I was exhausted. I hadn't gotten much sleep over the past two nights from the stress. I felt guilty that I'd gotten such a terrible grade, and had gone into a weird, compulsive study frenzy.

"It's just one test," he said. "Don't worry about it."

Suddenly, my vision whirled and I was struck with an intense feeling of vertigo. I stumbled and lost my balance, but before I could fall, I felt Viggo's arm pull around my shoulder. I collapsed backwards, my legs like jelly. My cheek pressed up against Viggo's chest, and a cold sweat dotted my forehead.

"Whoa, hey. Brendan, are you okay?"

I nodded and steadied myself with his help, his hands gripping my arms. My heart quickened, but not because of the exhaustion. He was so tall, and he smelled warm and a little spicy. I felt guilty for getting so excited by the accidental physical contact.

"Sorry, Viggo," I said. "I didn't really get very good sleep this weekend."

He held me firmly by the shoulders and examined my face. I felt my cheeks growing hot.

"You look like shit," he said. "How the hell are you going to get through your classes like this?" He helped me over to the shade of a big tree, and we sat down on the grass beneath it. "Little bit of advice: you've gotta rest. Cramming isn't going to help you."

"I always feel like I'm behind," I said. "I don't know what else to do."

He sighed. "Obviously, this isn't doing much for you either, don't you think?"

"I guess," I said, weakly. "I don't know how everyone else does it. I must be the dumbest person on campus."

"I mean, only an idiot would kill themselves studying, so maybe."

I grunted and shoved him with my shoulder, and he laughed.

"How much sleep did you get, anyway?"

"Around three hours," I admittedly, hazily.

"A night? That's insane."

"No... Over the whole weekend."

"Christ, Brendan."

A nice, cool breeze rustled the leaves above us. Sitting here with Viggo, I finally felt myself relax. I was so tired.

"Class isn't for another forty minutes," he said. "Take a nap. I'll wake you up."

"I shouldn't..." I'd planned on sitting outside the classroom and studying more until it was time to go inside, but despite my protests I could already feel myself falling asleep. Viggo stretched out onto the grass.

"Whatever," he said. "I'll just enjoy this nice, shady spot on my own then." He let out a yawn and stuffed his backpack under his head like a pillow.

“Alright…”

I laid out next to him on the grass, and the sounds of campus slowly faded away the moment I closed my eyes.

* * *

I didn't really have a coherent dream, more like a whole lot of thoughts. I thought of the test, of the formulas and theorems I'd drilled into my head, and I thought of Viggo, Dane and Red. Their faces were in my mind, and I felt a warm happiness fill me. I'd grown so accustomed to be alone. How lucky was I to have met those three?

"Hey."

A shake of my shoulder woke me back up. Viggo was looking down at me, still sitting next to me. I sat up and blinked away the sleep.

"Time to head to class," he said.

"Shit, what time is it?"

"Don't worry. You were asleep for thirty minutes. I told you I'd wake you up. How do you feel?"

"A lot better," I admitted.

He got up and offered me a hand, and I took it. He tugged me up to my feet so strongly that I nearly flew into his chest. Viggo smiled at me, a lopsided smirk. My heart quickened. What would it like to be with an alpha like Viggo? It was too bad that I'd never have chance with someone like him. It was nice to fantasize, but it'd never happen. Especially not with how I felt about relationships.

"That's why I got room 303 for us," Viggo said. "Rest. De-stress. Don't overdo it. That's the way you'll survive this place."

We set off towards the class building. It was amazing what a nap could do.

"I just don't get how everyone else does it. I'm so used to be being the top of my class. I don't know how the best in the class can manage it all."

"Well, here you're normal. And there are people doing worse than you, remember that. And then there are the freaks of nature that somehow don't need to sleep. Don't worry about them. Anyway, it's just a grade."

It was weird to hear the words "it's just a grade" come from a Keystone student. I'd always figured that everyone would be as obsessive about perfect marks as I was. He was right, though. The grade was important, but in the end, learning properly was what mattered. Maybe I didn't have to be perfect.

* * *

I was the first to show up to room 303 that afternoon. I peeked my head in and whispered a quiet, "hello?" into the darkness before flicking on the lights.

I sat down at the conference table in the middle of the room and pulled out my textbook, intending to use this downtime to study. I paused, remembering what Viggo had said to me. I closed the book. The couch looked pretty damn inviting.

I got up and walked over to it and ran my hand along its soft leather. Then, I kicked off my shoes and plopped myself down, stretching out as I sunk down into the cushions. This was good. Relaxing was good. I set a timer on my phone and closed my eyes. Dad, don't be disappointed in me, I thought before drifting off to sleep.

When I awoke it was to the sound of the door opening and the rustle of a pack being put down on the table. I blinked away the sleep and stretched. Then I caught the sudden, spicy-savory aroma of curry in the air and jolted upright. Dane was at the table, opening up a plastic container filled with steaming, golden curry. He removed another container of yellow rice from a tote bag, and a small stack of paper plates.

"Hey, Brendan," he said. "Hungry?"

I swallowed and nodded. As usual, I was starving. Sleep wasn't the only thing I'd deprived myself of over the weekend.

He clapped his hands together and flashed a grin at me. "Viggo told me you would be. I've got some curry for you. I learned this recipe when I went backpacking through Southeast Asia last year. Eat as much as you want."

My heart fluttered. How could anyone not feel happy being around Dane? He was such a bright and uplifting person, the kind of doting, dependable guy that any omega or beta would be lucky to have. And Viggo... He was worrying about me, too.

I came over to the table and he handed me a paper plate and spoon. "You went to Southeast Asia?" I asked him as I spooned out some rice onto my plate.

"For a month, during summer break," he said. "I motorcycled through Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand and Malaysia."

"All alone?" I scooped out a modest helping of fragrant chicken curry and poured it over the rice.

"Take more," he said, and lopped a big chunk of chicken onto my plate. "Don't be shy about it. Yeah, I was by myself. Elise and I had broken up a month before. Red was supposed to come with me, but he had commitments come up."

"No Viggo?"

"He was busy too."

He served himself, and we sat down and ate. The curry was incredible, like nothing I'd had before. All the different flavors were like sex to my taste buds, stunningly complex without being overwhelming. Embarrassingly, I groaned softly after the first bite. I couldn't help myself. It was that good and being so hungry only made it that much better.

"I'm glad you like it," he laughed.

"You're such a good cook, Dane," I said.

"Thanks," he said. "It's kind of a hobby of mine. And I have two guys who are always willing to eat my food, no matter how it turns out. Red isn't picky, but Viggo likes to eat well and he gives me good feedback on my cooking."

"Is Viggo from a wealthy family, too?"

"He's comfortable. I guess all three of us are."

"Comfortable," I laughed. "If you think the place you and Red live in is just comfortable, then I'd love to know what your idea of wealthy is."

Dane smiled apologetically. "Sorry. Saying 'yeah, we're rich,' feels immodest, so it's kind of a habit to use other words to describe it. I didn't mean to patronize you."

"You mean when talking to a poor person like me?" I asked, and he looked slightly uncomfortable. "I'm kidding!" I said, nudging him with my elbow. "Don't worry about all that, really. You don't need to worry about immodesty or anything like that with me. Be immodest. Be yourself."

He nodded. "Right. Likewise. Don't feel like you need to hold anything back from us."

"Okay," I said, suddenly feeling like crying again. I wasn't usually so emotional, so my state of exhaustion was probably to blame. But I was happy. It was weird, I felt almost like the Death March Study Squad had been put in front of me from some higher power. These guys had showed up when I needed them most. They were like guardian angels.

The door opened. It was Red, and he came inside and tossed his backpack onto a chair and went straight for the curry. "Hey," he said. "Heard you weren't feeling so well, Brendan. You okay?"

I blushed. It was a surprise to hear Red sounding so concerned about me. "I'm okay," I said.

He pulled out a bottle of milky green liquid from his backpack and held it out to me. "Here."

I took the bottle and stared at it, unsure of what I was looking at.

"It's a recovery drink," he explained. "My own formula. I drink it after practice. It looks gross, but it tastes pretty good."

"Oh, thank you," I said. Red smiled slightly and then occupied himself with a plate of curry. I held the bottle tightly in both hands, a giddy warmth filling my heart. He was adorable.

After finishing my food I drank his special concoction, which tasted like fresh vegetables with a hint of pineapple and banana. After all this care, I actually felt recovered.

"By the way," said Red, "We're playing a game next Monday. Dane and Viggo were going to come watch. Would you like to go? I know you're busy."

"Yes," I said, eagerly. I'd never had any desire to go to a football game in my entire life, but to support Red, it was a no-brainer. "Definitely."

Red's face lit up. "Okay, great. I'll get a ticket for you."

The door burst open, and Viggo plodded in. It was obvious he was irritated about something.

"Uh-oh," Dane said. "What's up?" He handed Viggo a plate, and Viggo silently shoveled rice and curry onto it and sat down next to me to eat it. My thoughts immediately drifted back to earlier today, when I'd fallen asleep next to him.

Viggo grunted in response to Dane and turned to me. "How're you holding up, Brendan?"

"I'm fine now," I said. I just wanted to know what was bothering him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Just had to deal with some stupid shit, that's all." He dug into his curry while the rest of us stared at him.

"Well, come on," said Dane. "Feel free to elaborate at any time."

"Bah." Viggo stuffed a piece of chicken into his mouth and chewed vigorously. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it. Anyway. I'm glad you're feeling better, Brendan. I was worried about you."

"You were?"

"Yeah. We all were. Take it easy, okay?"

"Yeah..." I pulled out my phone. "But I've got another exam I need to prepare for this week. And..." I swiped down the calendar app and frowned. Holy shit! Was it already this late in the month? With how insane everything had been lately, I'd lost track of the days. "Oh, damn."

"What?" asked Dane.

I smiled sheepishly and put my phone back into my pocket. "No, nothing. My birthday is this Wednesday."

All three of them looked at me with shocked expressions on their faces, even Red.

Dane slapped the table with his palm. "Your birthday is in two days? What the hell?"

"We should do something to celebrate," said Red.

"No, it's fine. I'm not really into celebrating birthdays."

"Why not?" Red asked.

"It's not that I dislike birthdays. It's just that my parents and I had this tradition that we did every year since I was a kid. We’d go off by the river near my house, and we'd launch model rockets together. Dad went to Keystone for aerospace engineering too. He's the reason I'm here. After he passed away, celebrating birthdays just didn't feel the same."

I was recalling those old memories now, of Dad and I setting up the rocket together on the rocky shore of the river as Mom sat and watched. Of the way his voice used to waver and go off key when trying to hit the higher notes of "happy birthday." Of the warmth of his hand on mine as we pushed the button to launch our rocket up into the sky. We'd stand there, staring up into the pastel colors of evening and watching the white tail of smoke as it went higher and higher, the smell of sulfur on the air. Mom and Dad would tell me to make a wish. I couldn’t remember what any of my wishes were anymore.

It'd been a long time since I'd thought about those memories. My birthdays had gone by uncelebrated for over five years now.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Viggo. "You should make new memories," he said. "I'm sure your Dad would want you to. It's another year of being alive. That's something to be thankful for."

"Damn right it is," said Dane.

I smiled. "Thanks, guys. But unfortunately, I have work."

They all groaned.

"In that case," said Dane. "I'll make you food every day this week to celebrate."

"I'll bring you more of my recovery drink," added Red.

I laughed. "It's fine! Guys, really, you don't have to do anything. Just the fact that you've been so good to me is enough. I honestly still can't believe how lucky I am to have met you all."

I hung out with the guys for the rest of my break, and then headed out to walk to my next class. I agreed to come over to Dane and Red's that night for dinner. Dane was absolutely insistent that I not worry about food that week, saying that he had some new recipes he wanted to try anyway, and that he was just happy to have another person to test them out on.

I walked out of the library feeling like a new person. I wasn't going to let the pressure get to me.

I cut across the quad, dodging a flying frisbee as it whizzed overhead and passing by couples lounging in each other’s arms on the grass. Would I ever feel safe enough to be with someone like that? What kind of person would I want to be with? Someone more intense, like Viggo? Or soft-spoken and gentle, like Red? Or maybe a guy like Dane, someone outgoing? All sounded good to me. Would I be able to meet guys who were at least somewhat as good as they were?

I felt a sharp pang of melancholic ache in my heart as I realized how I felt. It was a strange and foreign feeling, a deepening longing that was definitely different than the warmth of platonic love. This was attraction. No, it was more than just being attracted to them, I liked them. I had a crush on Viggo, Dane and Red. It made me feel weird and a bit guilty, like I was feeling something taboo. Most people weren't so greedy, were they?

Most people might develop feelings for one person of their group, but I liked them all. As of that moment, I felt the strongest attraction for Viggo, but it was only marginally greater than how I felt for Red and Dane.

The ache in my heart didn't come so much from the fact that I'd developed feelings for them, but because I knew that nothing would ever happen between us, because how could it? There was no way any of them felt that way for me.

I was so distracted by my thoughts that I didn't realize that someone was trying to get my attention. It wasn't until they were right next to me that I realized their "excuse me's" had been meant for me.

"What? I'm sorry," I said. "Are you talking to me?" I turned and immediately recognized who it was. Viggo's ex-omega, Andrew.