That Wednesday, I brought my lunch (a bag of leftover fried chicken that Dane had given me) to room 303, where I planned to get a bit of studying in before the guys all got out of their classes. I went inside and was surprised to see Red sitting at the conference table, a textbook spread open in front of him. He adjusted his glasses and looked up at me.

"Oh," I said, my heart jumping. "Hi, Red. I thought you had class?"

"Canceled. The professor got sick."

"Oh no. I guess there's been something going around lately."

I took the seat next to him and opened my books and notes. Red turned back to his studying, diligently scribbling some notes onto a paper as he read over the text. I couldn't resist taking the occasional peek over at what he was doing. At my high school, all of the guys I knew who looked like Red—big, meathead, football types—were more interested in getting drunk down by the river and chasing tail than anything academic, or at least that's what my impression of them was. It was intriguing to me to meet someone like Red. From all superficial outward appearances, he seemed like one of those guys, but his personality was completely different. It made me wonder if I'd just been too quick to make judgements back in high school—or maybe being in a small town with a small school meant that people were more likely to prescribe to stereotypical ideas of how they "had to be."

Maybe some of those guys had actually been quiet, intellectual types like Red, but were putting on an act to fit in? Had I been putting on an act, too? Had I thought I needed to act a certain way? Ever since I was a kid, Dad would always remind me about my potential and my intelligence and how I would someday come to Keystone. I'd always pushed myself to be at the top of the class and had made my performance in school everything in my life. I hadn't left much time for anything else. Be a good omega. Study, volunteer, work hard. Not do anything too crazy that might affect my chances of fulfilling my potential. I'd done everything just as a top performing, model student was supposed to.

I'd constructed myself around being that model student, that perfect omega, and here at Keystone I'd been confronted with the reality that I was anything but perfect. To try and sustain such a shallow illusion was impossible. So who had I been living for this whole time?

"What are you studying?" Red asked, without looking away from his book.

I blinked, surprised but delighted that he was talking to me. He was always so quiet, and I wanted to talk to him more but didn't know how to get the conversation started. Viggo and Dane were the types who made the first initiative, so it'd been a lot easier to talk with them.

"Computational fluid dynamics for airflow velocity and static pressure calculations," I said. "I have an exam this week. It's hell. What about you?"

"Nothing as interesting as that. Market analysis." He pulled off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

"That must be nice," I said. "You know exactly how you're going to apply the things you're learning once you graduate. You must be excited. You have your career already set out."

He nodded slowly. "It is convenient."

Red always wore pretty indifferent expressions, but I could still tell that he wasn't enthused.

"Or... do you not want to go to work for your family?"

"It's a great blessing, the opportunities I've been given," he said. "I'm thankful every day for them. But there are other things I'd rather do, yes."

"Like, football?"

"No, I'm not interested in a football career. I've always been very good at it, so it made sense to take advantage of Keystone's scholarship offer. It was my first school of choice, since Dane and Viggo were going to go here, too. But once I graduate, I'm done with the game."

"What do you want to do, then?"

He looked at me and smiled. "I don't know. I have absolutely no idea."

I laughed. "Really? None at all?"

"Do you?"

"Well... Yeah. I want to work on rockets that will go out to space. It's what my dad did. And then, I'll probably get settled down and have a kid. Start a family."

Red looked contemplative. "There's so many possibilities and things I'd like to do that I can't say this or that for sure. I mean, who knows how I'll feel the moment I graduate. I could be a completely different person, then."

I laughed. "You graduate so soon, though."

"Things can change overnight," he said. "Look the other way for one moment, and all of a sudden everything you thought you knew is different."

"Eventually you'll need to come to a decision, though."

"I'm only twenty-two. I barely know anything about what's out there, let alone about myself."

I wondered what that was like, to be so unhampered. I knew what I wanted to do, and I needed to have that clear idea of "what comes next." Maybe Red felt free without it. I would just feel lost and scared. But he was right, life could change in an instant. I could never have expected Dad to pass away when he did, but just like that, a brand-new reality had forced itself on my life.

Red put his glasses back on. He looked so mature, more than Viggo or Dane. He was someone that I could really rely I on, I realized. Someone I could really feel safe with. Red was the kind of person who would always silently be looking out for you, making sure you're taken care of without calling attention to himself. I felt a warm pull to him, and that pang of attraction. It didn't feel right for me to feel this way about three alphas at the same time. It made me feel fickle, because how could I choose just one of them to have feelings for?

I really shouldn't have been feeling anything for any of them. They were my friends, and that was all they ever would be.

"So, what are you going to do?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said. "I'll graduate and go work for my family. It makes the most sense."

We turned back to our studies and worked silently for a little while before a question popped up into my head. I knew it was a super awkward thing to ask, but I felt like Red and I didn't have moments like this very often, where the conversational energy was open.

"So, have you been seeing anyone?" I asked.

He looked at me and cocked an eyebrow.

"I mean, I just ask because you never really said anything when I asked Viggo and Dane. I know you were with Elise..."

"In middle school," he clarified.

"Yeah. So, was that it?"

"No, I've had others.” Red chuckled to himself. "It's kind of weird to say it, but Dane and I have a habit of dating the same people. It's happened three times. I guess we just have the same taste."

My eyes bugged out. "Really? So Elise wasn't the only one you... shared?"

"You make it sound a lot more perverse than it actually was. It wasn't like we were trading partners. It wasn't intentional at all."

"That must've been kind of weird. To see your friend going out with your ex?"

"I can see why it would be for most people. But Dane and I have always been different. We don't really care about that, it's just never bothered us. Actually, on the list of things that we've done that other best friends wouldn't normally do, us dating the same people ranks quite low."

"Now you've got my attention," I said.

He smiled and shrugged at me.

"Hey! You can't just say something like that and not expand on it."

"Yes, I can," he said, grinning. "It's a secret list. Be glad you heard that much."

I huffed at him, and he laughed and placed his hand on top of my head. "Maybe someday you'll hear more."

"Dammit, Red," I said, laughing.

It felt good, like I’d finally stepped over a boundary of closeness that I'd already crossed with Viggo and Dane, but had been struggling to do so with Red. Having him open to me and show me the bits of his personality that he didn't seem to share with anyone but his closest friends made me really, really happy.

* * *

My final Wednesday class finished in the late afternoon, and I hurried back to my apartment and changed for my shift at work. My head spun with a jumble of formulas and phrases like "Reynolds’ stresses" and "time-varying mean flow", and I repeatedly muttered several acronyms I'd made up to help me study as I strutted over to Sheddy's Bar.

The group chat had gone silent, and I wondered what everyone was up to. I'd seen Dane briefly as I left room 303 for my last class of the day, but we only had a chance to say hello before parting ways.

It was opening time at the bar, and so the place was mostly empty. I stood behind the counter and studied my notebook, stopping every so often to pull drafts of beer for customers. I checked the group chat again, but it was as silent as a ghost town. Over the past few days, the chat had been really active, with everyone sending random messages and photos about what they were doing. I decided to break the silence and send a photo of the near empty bar, with my open notebook in the foreground. "Having fun," I added, with a crying emoji, and set the phone on the counter.

The place began to fill up, but the chat remained silent, my message still unread by all three of the guys. Customers took seats at the bar, and I filled more glasses and mixed up the occasional cocktail as I eavesdropped on the conversations of my fellow Keystone classmates.

"I know I failed that one," an alpha said to his friend. "Completely bombed it. I don't know how anyone can do this."

"Dude, I know what you mean," his friend said. "I heard that Cameron failed it, too."

"Why is it so damn hard? I don't know how anyone can manage this..."

I took his empty glass and refilled it with another drink. "On the house," I said, pushing it over to him. "Don't give up."

"Really? Wow, thanks a lot."

I gave him a nod of solidarity.

It'd only been about a week since I'd joined the Death March Study Squad, but I already was feeling like I had a better handle on things. It wasn't just having a room to go take breaks in, or that I'd cut myself some slack with studying—it was because of the guys. I felt so much more confident knowing that I could turn to them. The comfort, safety and rapport they'd built up between each other over all their years together had extended effortlessly to me, and I'd tapped into that energy just being around them.

What would I do when they were gone?

In just a few months, the three of them would be done, and I’d need to go on alone. The thought pulled me down, like a stone attached to my feet in deep water. I wished that we would have more time at school together, to hang out in room 303 and to walk to class together and see each other almost every day. I hoped that they would stay in contact with me after leaving. I knew they would still be friends, but I was the newcomer, and maybe once the convenience of proximity was gone, I would eventually be forgotten. They each would be going down their own path, too. Like Red had said, life could change so quickly. Where would things take them once they were out of school?

What would happen to me? I hoped that I would be strong enough to survive at Keystone without their support. Would I form a new group? Could I continue the legacy of room 303?

I hoped so.

My manager, Jeff, came up to the bar and patted me on the shoulder. "You didn't tell me it was your birthday today," he said. "Happy birthday!"

I blinked. I'd forgotten again. "Oh, yeah," I said. "Thank you."

"You're...?"

"Nineteen," I said.

"Damn. So young. That's when I had my first kid." He nudged me. "Don't get pregnant yet. I'm telling ya, I love my kids, but it ain't worth it."

"No babies for me," I agreed. "No way." Babies seemed like such a long way off. I had to figure out how to have a serious relationship first.

"Here," he said, and poured out five shots of whiskey. "Birthday shot." He handed me one of the glasses.

"Oh my god, Jeff," I said, laughing. "I can't take all of those."

"They're not for you, silly," he said. "One's for me." He took the other three and placed them on the counter. "And the others are for your friends."

I looked over and I was shocked to see Viggo, Dane and Red waltzing in through the front door. "G-guys!" I stammered as they sat down at the bar. "What are you doing here?"

"To get you, obviously," said Viggo.

"You think we'd let you get away without celebrating your birthday? There's one thing you should know about us three, Brendan, and it's that we always celebrate birthdays."

"Yup," said Red.

"Your friends are so sweet," said Jeff.

"Guys, I really appreciate this but, you know I've gotta work the rest of the evening..."

"You're good to go," Jeff said. "Your friends came to make sure you'd be free."

"Hey," Dane said, taking my hand. I sucked in a breath as my heart did a flip. "I know you're probably thinking about the money, but don't. We got you covered. It's your birthday, and you're going to come celebrate with us."

My face was red hot. I wasn't used to this kind of attention. "Um..." For some reason, I looked to Red for reassurance. I felt like if he, the most even keeled of the trio, gave me permission, I'd feel a lot better about it.

He smiled at me, and I nodded. "Okay," I said. "Okay, what are we doing?"

"Well, first," said Viggo, picking up the shot of whiskey, "we're taking these drinks."

Dane and Red picked up their glasses and they held them up. Jeff followed suit, and so did I. Then, they started to sing loudly.

"Happy birthday to you..."

Everyone in the bar started to join in singing along. I covered my face in embarrassment. My cheeks were burning.

"Happy birthday, dear Brendan... Happy birthday to you!"

"Cheers!" shouted Dane, and we clinked glasses and threw back the drinks.

"C'mon," Viggo said, "Let's go."

I came around the counter, and I slipped my arms around Dane and Viggo's. "Where are we off to?" I asked, grinning. My cheeks were still warm with some embarrassment from the spectacle, but I was really happy that they were here for me. Red held the door open for us, and we walked outside, with me in between Dane and Viggo. I felt so small and safe standing between them, with my shoulders pressed against their arms. My heart thudded and my stomach tingled with warmth from the shot of whiskey. I'd never done anything like this with them before, getting so physically close.

"Can you ride a bike?" Viggo asked.

"Of course."

"Good. We're renting bikes."

We walked down the street, where on the corner was one of the city's public bike rental spots. For a few dollars, you could unlock a bike from the terminal and ride it anywhere in the city. I'd never done it before, but walking around, I'd always see tourists and Keystone students riding those lime green bikes.

"Which one do you want?" Red asked.

They were all identical. I chose one, checked the tires, and then mounted the seat. "This one will do."

He paid for all our bikes, and the four of us set out with Red in the lead. He made the bicycle look small in comparison, and I couldn't help but laugh to myself. He looked like an adult riding on a kid's bike.

"Are you laughing at Red?" Dane pulled up next to me, grinning. He wore a pair of circular sunglasses, a few strands of his long hair blowing in the wind.

"Maybe," I said, and I laughed some more.

Red glanced over his shoulder. "Hey..."

"I'm sorry, Red! You just look hilarious riding that bike."

He changed gears and exaggerated his pedaling, furiously pumping his legs to make himself look even sillier. He rang the bell on the handlebar, and I nearly lost control of my bike from laughing so hard.

"You guys still haven't said where we're going!" I called. We dipped down a small hill, and I stood up on the bike's pedals to coast down. It brought back memories of riding when I was a kid. It'd probably been a good seven or eight years since I'd last ridden.

"It's a secret," said Dane. "You'll find out when we get there."

"I hope I can last. I'm massively out of shape."

"Red can carry you on his back, if that happens," said Viggo.

"I wonder if he could," I said. I pedaled up alongside him. "Would you carry me if I died?"

"I could, but if I did, then those guys would want a ride."

"Yeah, come on," Dane said, coming up on Red's other side. "You've got enough room. I can sit on one shoulder, Brendan can be on the other."

"You're an idiot," said Red.

I laughed, picturing it in my mind.

We swerved to hug the sidewalk as a car drove by, and Red hooked the corner and took us down a side street that ran parallel to the local light rail line. We were downtown, several blocks from the school, and it was my first time going anywhere outside the areas near my apartment, work and campus. I'd never had a reason to explore, so I'd never made the time or effort to do it. It felt nice to be doing it now with the guys. I looked up at the buildings as I passed by, intrigued and awed by their gorgeous brickwork and the historical architecture. I took it all in; the aroma of grilled meat wafting from a kebab shop, the sound of a police siren in the distance, the chatter of pedestrians. I felt so light and free.

Keystone was where greatness was forged. That was what Dad had told me. I didn't know if this was what he had expected for me when Dad had thought of me forging my own greatness. I did feel great, though. Being with Viggo, Dane and Red, I finally felt like I belonged at Keystone. Like I was truly glad that I'd come to this school. I felt like I'd known them for much longer, as long as they'd all known each other. They were my alphas who'd come and swept me up when I was helpless. Walking into room 303 had been the best decision of my life.

"This is so great," I said.

"What?" Red called over his shoulder.

"I said, this is so great! I'm so glad I'm with you guys."

"Likewise," said Viggo.

"We're really glad you're with us too, Brendan," said Dane.

"I'm happy we met," Red said, and I felt my heart well up with warmth.

We rode for a little while longer until we reached a light rail station, where docked our bikes at a return terminal. We walked up the stairs to the tracks. "Are we taking this?" I asked.

"Yup," said Red. "Just a short ride."

"Awesome," I said, eagerly. "I've never been in one of these before."

"Really?"

"My hometown was too small for anything but busses."

Dane came up next to me, and he draped his arm around my shoulder. I stiffened and tried to play it cool, but it was difficult with all the butterflies that had decided to migrate around my stomach. He was so casual, like it was something he would've done with the other two guys, but it still managed to feel really intimate—or maybe I just wanted it to.

"You can take the rail all the way to the coast," he said, pointing. "That way. Have you been to the beach here?"

"No," I said. "I've never been to a beach at all..."

"For real? They're nothing special here, but I guess a beach is a beach if you've never been."

"Are we going to the beach now?"

"Secret. Oh, here it comes." His arm slid off my shoulder, and he walked towards the edge of the platform as a chime sounded and a pleasant voice said, "Green line train inbound. Please stand back behind the yellow line."

"C'mon, let's go," said Red, and we got onboard.

I sat down on one of the seats, and Viggo sat next to me. Red and Dane stayed standing, peering out the windows in the double doors as they hung onto the overhead hand rail. Dane let his body swing with the momentum of the train and bumped into Red, who smacked him on the ass with his palm. Dane yelped and laughed and tried to smack Red back. Red stepped away and he missed, and the two of them went back and forth trying to slap each other's butts. Viggo and I watched, laughing.

The train rolled on, leaving the dense inner downtown and escaping into the sprawl of forested mountains that slashed through the outskirts of the city. Now my eyes were glued to the window and the beautiful scenery that passed by beyond it. Dane came over and looked out the window, too. He drank from a silver flask that he pulled from his pocket, and then offered it to me. I took a swig and felt the bite of whiskey on my tongue. I passed the flask to Viggo, and he took a drink before handing it over to Red.

After about half an hour on the train, Red announced that we were getting off. When we reached the next stop, we exited to crisp air and a backdrop of green.

"Let's hurry," said Viggo. "It's getting late."

I wondered what it was we'd come all the way out here for, but everyone's lips were sealed. We walked down a few streets from the train stop and entered a small community park. I could hear running water, and I realized that there was a river there, just on the opposite side of a line of trees bordering the park. I followed guys into the trees, and we walked down a small dirt trail that took us down to the river. The water was slow and peaceful, and it was obvious that it was at very low levels from the large area of gravely, exposed riverbed we had available to us.

"Where are we gonna set up?" asked Dane.

Red pointed. "Right over there, by the fallen tree. Remember?"

We walked a little way down the rocky shore to the trunk of a downed tree. Dane climbed up and sat on the log, kicking his feet like a kid on a high chair.

"What are we doing?" I asked.

The guys all were carrying backpacks. "Picnic," Viggo said, slipping his off. "But also..."

Red opened his bag and pulled out a plastic box, which he opened, and removed several parts that I immediately recognized. It was the launch pad for a model rocket.

I watched, stunned, as Viggo pulled out the tube and cone pieces of the rocket from his bag, along with a box of model rocket engines. He smiled at me. "We thought it'd be fun to do this with you, too."

My surprise gave way to a spring of happiness that welled up and bloomed inside of me in a way I'd never felt before. I spun around and rubbed my eyes, trying to get rid of the sudden pesky tears.

"Hey, you okay?" Dane asked.

I held up my hand to silently request for a moment. I sniffed loudly. I needed to stop crying, it was embarrassing, but I just couldn't. The harder I tried, the easier the tears seemed to flow. It was a mixture of the surprise and the happiness that I felt from the gesture, but also from the memories of Dad that suddenly were flooding back. As much as a hard-ass he'd been, as strict and uncompromising and so incredibly demanding of me, I missed him. I really, really missed him.

I hung my head and squeezed my eyes shut. I could hear my Dad and I counting down, and the sound of the rockets firing off into the sky.

Then I felt a touch on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Red. Dane was on the other side. Viggo came up in front, and he draped his arms around Dane and Red's shoulders, with me in the center. They wrapped their arms around me, and Viggo squeezed us all together in a tight group hug. I felt their warmth press up around me, their bodies enveloping me like the safest, most wonderful blanket in the universe.