On Sunday, Viggo and I went over to Dane and Red's place for brunch. Dane had prepared a whole course for us, with eggs, sausages, Applewood bacon, avocado toast, beans, and roasted potatoes. He'd even made his own Bloody Mary mix. The food was amazing, as expected. Although everything was simple and standard fare, Dane knew how to do everything just right. The scrambled eggs were fluffy, the sausages juicy and perfectly seasoned, the bacon thick and crispy without being burnt. My favorite was the potatoes, which had an amazing crunch to them with a soft center and piping hot center. Just perfect. And the Bloody Marys. My god.

Red was gone, off at football practice for nearly the entire day. He'd been absent on Saturday, too. I was still worried about him. The others still didn't seem concerned, but I wondered if they knew exactly what was going through his mind, and that it wasn't just pre-game jitters that were getting to him.

I decided I just needed to say something.

I cleared away the dishes from the table, and Viggo came to the sink to help me wash up. "Red is really stressed out," I said. "Is he going to be okay tomorrow?"

"Oh, yeah," Viggo said. "He's fine. Don't worry about him."

"He gets like that sometimes," Dane said. He was sipping on his Bloody Mary and flicking through his phone. "We've both learned that he just needs his quiet time, and then he'll be back to normal."

"His slightly less quiet normal," agreed Viggo, handing me a dirty plate.

"Has he talked to you guys at all about what he wants to do after graduation?"

"Sure," Dane said. "I know he's interested in going overseas. He's mentioned it before."

"All I know," said Viggo, "is that he's taking over Vert Fitness out of duty, not choice. I'm sure there's a lot of things he'd rather do. But the nice thing about him working for Vert is that we can keep the group together."

"True." Dane nodded.

I wanted to keep this group together. I wanted to see where things would go with us. I wanted this to last. It made me happy to imagine a future together, our unconventional little relationship.

"I just hope he's doing the right thing for him," I said.

"What could be better than this?" Viggo said. "Lazy Sundays, brunch, hanging out with the homies. You." He grinned and gave me a little smack on the behind, and I flicked soapy water at his face. He leaned over and gave me a kiss.

"I could do this forever," I agreed.

"And we can," said Dane. He sat back in his chair and swept his arm dramatically through the air. "Imagine it. The four of us, we get a nice house somewhere together, maybe somewhere in the forest. A cabin by a river. Every day could be a lazy Sunday. Red could support us with his Vert money." He and Viggo laughed.

"No," said Viggo. "You freakin' hippy. We get place in the city. Four floors of some penthouse building somewhere."

"Four floors? Big baller."

"Yeah. One for each of us. Plenty of room to do stuff. We could throw parties, and we'd be close to all the biotech firms downtown. It'd be awesome. You could have a big industrial kitchen space to do all the experimental cooking you want. I could have space for my bikes. We could get a few dogs. Brendan could be close to school. Red would be close to work. It'd be great."

Dane laughed. "You've given this some thought."

"Of course. What's wrong with that? With Brendan with us, I think it would be nice to all live together."

"I mean, it's a little early to be seriously talking about that, right?"

Viggo looked embarrassed. The way he'd spoke sounded so eager, like he really had given it a lot of thought. It made me happy to know that he was that committed, but I was also surprised. I hadn't taken Viggo to be someone that would think so quickly about something like that.

"I guess," Viggo muttered, clearly self-conscious about the fact that he'd taken Dane's fantasizing literally. "I mean were talking about it, so..."

"I like both ideas," I said. "It is pretty quick to think about something like that, but at the same time, I think I already know that we could all live together and it would be amazing. Red and Dane already are roommates."

I watched as Viggo lit up a bit.

"I think it would be," he said. "It'd be like... Our little family."

"Yeah," Dane said, finishing the rest of his drink. "Well... I still think a cabin in nature is better."

The two of them started to argue about which setup would be better for our little group, so I went to go lay on the couch. It was way too soon to be actually thinking about something like that, but now that the topic had been brought up it was hard not to fantasize. How nice would that be? No more crappy apartment. I could go to school, and we'd all still be together.

But would we all be happy? Would Red be happy?

I wondered what Mom would think if I did move in with them. I imagined that she wouldn't think twice about our relationship. She'd probably assume we were all friends. The longer I could maintain that, the better. I didn't want to think about what might happen if she found out they were my lovers.

I blushed at the thought. My lovers. I had lovers now. Nerdy awkward ol' me, the guy who didn't even go near alphas, now had three. If I had any friends from high school, they'd all be shocked and appalled, probably. Or maybe jealous.

I'd made this choice to be with Viggo, Dane and Red, going against everything that I'd ever imagined myself to be. This was all me, and it was an interesting feeling. I think for the first time in my life, I actually felt like an adult. Or at least someone who was making their own decisions. I felt empowered. I could do whatever I wanted.

Viggo sat down on the edge of the couch. "We've decided," he said. "We'll buy land in the city, one of those big empty lots, and we'll plant a bunch of trees in it and turn it into a little forest. And then we'll build a badass four-story loft in the middle."

I tilted my head back to look at him. "That's the plan, huh?"

"Perfect, right?" said Dane, leaning over the back of the couch. His hair was down, and it hung messily across his face. I reached up and brushed it behind his ear, and then pulled him down to kiss me. Then with my other hand I grabbed hold of the front of Viggo's shirt and tugged him down for a kiss.

"I've got no complaints," I said.

"Good," said Viggo. "Then I tell you what we're going to do. We're gonna rent city bikes and go find that little plot of paradise."

"You're not serious."

"Hell yeah, I am. C'mon. It's a perfect day to ride bikes around the city. You've barely seen any of it, have you?"

"No..."

"Then let's go. Dane, what do you think?"

"I think that's a great idea. We're doing it. Up, up, up!"

"Hey!" I laughed as the two of them grabbed me, Viggo by my armpits and Dane by my legs, and hoisted me off of the couch.

"Got him!" Viggo grunted, throwing me over his shoulder fireman style. I reached down and swatted his ass.

"No, Viggo!" I kicked my legs in the air. "I'm gonna bite your butt!" I slapped his ass again and made chomping noises at him.

Dane followed along behind us, laughing as he tied up his hair. Viggo set me down outside the front door. It really was a perfect day for biking. We walked down the street to where the public bike station was, and soon our little squadron was riding north into downtown with Viggo in the lead. He took us past the Elworth Public Library, a grand building with towering marble columns decorating its facade. Nearby was the Elworth Museum, which was actually a collection of three different museums for art, natural history and science, and we biked through the grounds. In the center was a beautiful botanical garden, and we stopped there for the lemonade slush drinks they sold at the garden cafe.

We locked up our bikes and walked through garden, sipping on the tart, icy drinks. The shade of the trees and tall plants deadened the sounds of the city, making it feel like we were somewhere else that wasn't surrounded by big buildings and traffic jams.

"I brought Elise here for a first date," Dane said. "God, how many years ago was that? Seven or eight?"

I wasn't sure if it was in my head, but I thought he sounded a little wistful talking about her. He had said that they had an on-and-off relationship, so I wondered if he still thought about her. Did that idea make me jealous? I felt a little odd about it, but I didn't think it was jealousy. It was more curiosity than anything.

"When was the last time you saw Elise?" I asked.

"We spoke a couple months ago," he said.

"Are you serious, Dane?" Viggo groaned. "I didn't know that."

"What? I haven't talked to her since. And I'm not going to. I don't want you to worry about that, Brendan."

"You can do what you want," I said. "I don't feel I have exclusive rights over you. But I appreciate you telling me that. I'd just want to be kept in the loop, is all."

"I've got no plans to connect with her anymore," he said.

"I hope so," said Viggo. "You dragged that on for too long, man. For someone as intuitive as you are, I don't know how you couldn't see that she wasn't do you any good."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Dane's like, uncannily good at getting a feel for someone really fast. I hate to admit it, but he's been right about every single bad relationship I chose to be in."

"And yet," Dane said, "Telling Elise we were done was the hardest thing I could do. I know. It doesn't make sense."

"Why was she bad for you?"

"It was just unstable. We had a lot of chemistry, but chemistry doesn't sustain a relationship. So we fought a lot."

"Jesus, man," said Viggo. "It was extreme. You guys were fighting more often anything else the last time you were together."

"Yeah. We'd been together for so long that I just felt this attachment to her. We had that history, you know?"

"Do you still feel that?" I asked. "This isn't a loaded question by the way. I want you to know you can tell me anything."

Dane smiled. "I know. I don't know how I feel about Elise. I don't think about her at all, really. Not apart from the random memories that come up just like they would about anyone else. Like I said, I've got no plans to see her again."

I slipped my hand into his. I thought I sensed some feeling of uncertainty, but again, I wasn't sure if it was just in my head.

"Just forget her," Viggo said. He loudly slurped down the rest of his drink and tossed away the cup. I finished mine and reached out to take his hand too.

"I wish Red were here," I said. "I miss him."

"Me too," Dane said.

"Why don't we go see him?" Viggo suggested. "I know a spot where we can discreetly watch the practice."

* * *

We dropped off our bikes at a station at edge of campus, and then walked the rest of the way to the stadium. Viggo led us to a spot near the top of the bleachers, where the stairway down was shielded by a shoulder-high wall. We could peer over the wall and watch the practice down on the field, and nobody would realize we were there unless they knew where to look. We didn't want to disturb Red or anyone else, since today was the last day of practice before the game.

"There he is," Dane said, pointing.

Even though we were much further from the field than the other day, it was easy to spot Red. I knew the shape of his body and how he moved. They were drilling without gear, so Red was shirtless, his body glistening with sweat. He and the team did quick shuffling sidesteps back and forth around sets of orange cones, and then explosive sprints up and down the field. Red looked tired. They all did, but Red especially so. He gritted his teeth as he jumped between the cones, the sweat pouring down his face.

"He looks exhausted," I said, and I gasped when his feet tangled up underneath him, sending him to the ground. He pushed himself up with one arm, and the another, and one of his teammates extended a hand to help him to his feet. The coach ran over to him, and I could hear him yelling. I didn't know what he was saying.

Viggo looked surprised. "Oh, man."

"Is he okay?" I asked. "Is this normal?"

"I don't know. Judging from the chewing out he's getting, I'm thinking not."

I was worried. I immediately thought about his recent struggles and wondered if that was affecting him now. "I hope he's okay," I said.

"Everyone looks pretty beat," Dane said. "It's probably just been a lot of practicing."

We kept watching, but it quickly became obvious that Red was not doing so well. He stumbled again, and the coach barked at him to take five. Red walked off to the side, shaking his head as he stretched out his arm. He looked totally out of sorts.

"He's distracted," Viggo said.

I knew exactly what he was distracted by. Had I caused him more undue stress by pushing him to talk about it?

His break didn't do much to help, and it was obvious that he wasn't performing as well as his teammates were. The coach was singling him out, angry at his sudden inability. The three of us decided to leave. It was painful for me to see him go through that.

We walked out of campus in the direction of Dane and Red's house, a solemn mood hanging over us. "We'll take care of him when he gets home," Dane said. "We'll make sure he's in as tip top shape as we can get him."

Viggo stretched his hands and cracked his knuckles. "Massage. He's gonna sleep like a baby tonight."

I just felt bad. He'd told me that he would work out his issues on his own, and that was how he always did it. Had I crossed a line because of my own insecurities by pressuring him to tell me what was on his mind? No, I believed it was important to talk about things like that. But maybe I shouldn't have pried. I just hoped that he would be okay.