Lala
The early morning air is damp and cool, and I haven’t seen a car for miles. It has got to be about six in the morning. Rampage woke me around four-thirty. He wasn’t happy. Hell, he still isn’t. He had to roll me out of bed. He crouched down in front of me and helped me slip my jeans on. Pulled my shirt on, laced my boots for me, and set me on the back of his bike.
My arms are resting comfortably around him, my face buried in his back as he slows and starts to pull down a familiar road. I peek my head over his shoulder and see bikes and people standing in the driveway at Rampage’s house. Oh shit. They’re all standing around the charred remains of his truck.
“Fuck! What the fuck happened?” Rampage growls, stomping around what used to be his truck. He didn’t drive it much, but I do know it was nice, and I’m sure it was expensive.
“Got a call from that asshole Willis that your shit was on fire. Came over and the house was ransacked, too.”
“You got any idea by who?” All eyes swing in my direction as Lil’s arm tightens around my shoulders
“You think I did it?”
Sitting down next to me, Tags gives me a soft smile, “Of course we don’t. Don’t be stupid, babe. This shit was for you. That fuck Ryan is tryin’ to send messages.” I feel guilty. It’s my fault all this shit is happening, “But Lala?” Looking up at Tags, he nods back at me, “Wipe that shit right off your face. Start blamin’ yourself ‘n imma start gettin’ pissed off.”
The truck is a total loss. The steering wheel, the seats, everything melted. Rampage took off soon after we got here. He gave me a rough kiss before taking off with the guys. I feel terrible. This shit is my fault.
****
Laying alone in bed, I can’t help but to blame myself. All of this shit wouldn’t have happened if I wouldn’t have come here. I brought all of this unnecessary drama here for Rampage and his family.
The silence of the house is drowned out by the loud rumble of bikes. I listen as the front door opens and heavy boots move around. Rampage’s house is small and quaint, only a living room, kitchen, two bedrooms, and a bathroom. Listening closely, I can hear each foot step and murmured voice.
“You think that’s it then?” I hear Tags ask. Sitting up in bed, I scoot toward the end, closer to the door.
“He better hope it is,” Rampage grunts.
“You dropped fifty large on that,” Tank says. Fifty thousand dollars? My head starts to swim.
“That money don’t mean shit. That little fucker is gone. Out of her life and that shit is worth every fucking penny.”
“You think he’s gone for good then, brother?” Stitch asks. I listen intently. Sitting at the edge of the bed, wrapped up in a blanket that smells like Rampage, I listen and try to put it all together. Rampage paid fifty thousand dollars to get Ryan to leave us alone?
“If he knows what’s good for him, he’ll leave her the fuck alone. They don’t take care of him, I will. He fuckin’ knows I don’t play when it comes to Lala.”
Sitting against the headboard, I let a few tears fall. My heart aches. I feel terrible that Rampage paid that much money to get rid of Ryan for me. It’s insane. He put himself and his family in danger to help me, and I have nothing to offer in return. I have nothing, but a thank you.
Footsteps grow closer to the bedroom door. There is a hesitation before Rampage creeps quietly inside, letting the door close softly behind him. I watch his face when he sees me sitting up in bed.
“The fuck you doin’ up?” He seems angry.
“I heard you.” I tell him. Shrugging his cut off, he steps closer to me and looks at me closely. “Why the fuck you cryin’?”
I feel like an asshole for crying over something so fucking stupid, but Rampage has been so good to me. He’s always taking care of me, cleaning up my messes, and looking out for me. I’m not even worth the hassle.
“I’m sorry.” I tell him.
Sitting on the edge of the bed next to me, he grumbles, “Stop fuckin’ cryin’. I hate that shit.” He cringes when he looks over his shoulder at me.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble around a mess of tears and snot.
“Say you’re sorry again, and imma be pissed, Lala. What the fuck you got to be sorry for?” For everything. For coming here and making a mess of everything. For taking and never giving.
“I heard what you said. You paid fifty thousand dollars to someone to take care of Ryan. Why Rampage?”
Standing up, he runs a hand over the back of his neck and his brows draw together in an angry line.
“Why the fuck wouldn’t I?” He counters, pissed off.
“I can’t repay you, and I’m definitely not worth fifty thousand dollars,” And that’s the truth. I’m not.
“The fuck you aren’t.”
“Rampage,” I start to argue. Holding a hand up he stomps over to me.
“Shut the fuck up. Don’t want to hear your shit ‘bout you not bein’ worth it ‘n shit. My money, ‘n I’ll do whatever the fuck I want with it.”
He’s lost his goddamn mind. I watch his back and as he digs through a drawer. Turning around, he leans his back against the dresser. Sticking a blunt between his lips, he lights it up and inhales on a satisfied groan.
“Be serious, Rampage.” I try for reasonable.
“Lala. When the fuck am I not serious?”
“Rampage!”
“Fuckin’ Christ, Lala. Drop it. I paid the goddamn money. Whether you fuckin’ think so or not, you’re worth it to me, okay?” I swallow past the growing lump of emotion in my throat.
“Why?” I know I’m picking. I should just stop before I really upset him, but I can’t seem to fathom how I’m worth that much money and effort. I don’t have terrible self-esteem and I don’t think I’m worthless, but I don’t see that kind of value in me. I don’t see the point?
“I fuckin’ like havin’ you here. I don’t want anything to fuckin’ happen to you, ‘n if I gotta pay fifty million dollars to do that shit, then I will, ‘n you’ll fuckin’ let me, so stop askin’ me why. I’ll do what I gotta do to take care of you. You trust me?” Nodding my head, I suck back the tears. I do trust him. “Good. Don’t ask me shit about what I do to keep that motherfucker away from you, you hear me?”
“Yes, but Rampage?”
“Jesus Christ, Lala. What part of what I said don’t you get?” I like havin’ you in my life. I don’t want to see shit happen to you. You bein’ here gives me reason and purpose, somethin’ I ain’t ever had. I like takin’ care of your ass. I like wakin’ up to your face, ‘n I like goin’ to sleep with you next to me, so that means I gotta do what I gotta do to keep that shit exactly the way I like it. I do it all for you, ‘n I’ll do it ‘til the day I die.”
The tears well up and I can’t hold them back.
“Don’t. I want your life easy, baby. Don’t worry, and don’t fuckin’ stress, alright? That shit goes for me too. No stressin’ ‘bout Ryan. He won’t be back. You’re safe. Don’t stress ‘bout me, either. I got you, ‘n as long as I got that shit, I’ll be good. I’ll always be good. You’re safe ‘n happy, ‘n Lala?”
“What?” I feel a tear slide down my cheek to my chest when I stare at him. So big, so mean, so scary, and I couldn’t love him more. I couldn’t imagine ever not loving him. For the rest of my life, I’ll love him. “That’s all the repayment I need, baby.”
Six months later….