18
Forever
Rampage
“How much longer is this shit gonna take?” Gin asks as he takes a drag from his smoke, kicking up a cloud of dust from the ground. We’re both leaning against a concrete barrier on the side of a dark and dusty highway, just outside of Idaho. It’s been a long ride.
Tank is on his phone, pacing back and forth, “A minute,” he mumbles around his phone.
We’ve been riding all goddamn day. It gave me too much time to think about how I left Lala. She was trying to hide it, but I saw her red, swollen eyes. I knew she had been crying, but I didn’t have the time to get into any emotional shit with her, so I just left her to deal with whatever it was by herself. I’m feeling like the biggest fucking asshole right now.
I’m pulling out a smoke when Tank’s angry bark catches my attention.
“Slow the fuck down, baby. What do you mean she’s fuckin’ gone?” Tank’s eyes cut to mine instantly.
Pulling the phone away from his ear, he shoves it at me and says, “try not to flip your shit ‘n listen to her.”
“Sis?” I can hear Peaches and Tags in the background, both sounding frantic. I swallow back the rage I’m starting to feel at the goddamn chaos on the phone.
“Rampage? Where would she go?” Sis breathes into the phone.
My worst fucking fear starts unfolding in front of me over a fucking phone on the side of a goddamn highway, hours from home. What does she mean where would she go?
“You better not be talking about Lala. She’s supposed to be with you.” Panic. That’s the only word for what I’m feeling. Sheer fucking panic.
“No! I don’t – I don’t know, Rampage. I don’t know where she is. I’ve called her, we’ve hit up anywhere she would possibly go. Her car, clothes, purse, money, everything, Rampage. It’s all here.” She rattles through the phone.
Shoving the phone back at Tank, I practically rip my saddlebag off my bike to get to my phone. Ringing Lala, I wait and pray for a fucking answer. I pray and try not to fucking lose it here on the side of this dark fucking highway in the desert.
“She left it here.” Lil says as she answers Lala’s phone.
She’s gone.
****
It’s all here. Everything. Every stitch of clothing she owns is in this closet, in the dressers. Her blankets are on our messy bed and the bed, even her towel from her shower is still damp on the bar in the bathroom. Shoes by the back door, coat on the kitchen chair, and her fucking purse is still on the counter. Nothing is gone…Only Lala.
“Where would she go?” Lil asks me, frantically pacing the driveway.
“Where the fuck do you think she went, Lil? She didn’t leave, she was taken.” Her eyes widen and she practically throws herself on Tank.
“Oh my God, this is all my fault. I should have come here earlier…” Tank looks over her head at me. He fucking knows. They all fucking know.
Pacing up and down the driveway, I feel crippled. I feel out of control and desperate. I can’t call her, I can’t track her. There is no note, nothing to lead us in any fucking direction. My world is shattering and there isn’t one goddamn thing I can do. Nothing!
Tags is in the house digging around, tearing shit apart. He’s running information from her phone and her computer, tracking everything from the last few weeks. He spent years in the Special Forces doing this shit. If there is anything to find, he’ll find it, but in my heart, I know there isn’t shit to find. This was not something she planned.
“Nothing, brother,” he says from the front porch.
I lose my shit like always. I black out. I let my pure fucking rage take over. I kick the fuck out of my bike. I want to kill Tags for having nothing to fucking tell me. I want to find Ryan, tear him apart, limb from limb and watch him burn alive. I shouldn’t have trusted the other MC to deal with him. I want someone to blame for this shit. I hate feeling like this. I fucking hate that I care. I hate that I let shit slip through my fingers. I let my rage go until I have nothing left.
Sliding to the ground on my ass, I start doing something stupid as fuck; I pray. It’s the only goddamn thing I can think of to do. I start praying and begging for her to be okay. She’s gone. She just walked out of the front door and disappeared, and I don’t believe she made the decision on her own. I can’t accept that. Lala is no longer in my life, and my worst goddamn fear starts playing out in front of me.