CHAPTER FIVE
Paige threw herself down onto her bed. The familiar, huge double bed she'd slept in so many times before. She ran her gaze around the beautifully appointed bedroom, taking in the sight of the luxurious furnishings, the cabinets, the mirrors, the paintings. Through the open double doors she saw the sitting room of the massive suite which was her refuge in the palace. This place held so many memories, she found it hard to stop those recollections forcing their way into her mind.
Paige stretched an arm out across the bed, recalling the many nights she'd spent here with Razim. Before their relationship had become just a mutually convenient agreement. The early days of their relationship had been intense, thrilling, world-changing, she told herself.
Razim's passion for her had been unstoppable, and Paige had been more than happy to submit to Razim's fierce desire. It had felt exquisite to be the subject of his demanding attentions. And, for a while, everything had been perfect. But it had all changed once she'd agreed to give him what he wanted. What he needed so that he could claim his rightful place as head of this part of the Al Kharif family.
Paige thought about what Razim had told her in the jet. She closed her eyes and groaned, thinking about the coming days. It felt almost as if she had been taken prisoner. Again.
Wasn't that one of the reasons why she'd ran back to the US. To escape the sense of confinement? To get away from the lies? Because, she knew that pretending to be Razim's loving wife was a lie. One that both of them were happy to tell to anyone who wanted to know.
Paige stood and went to the huge, step-in closet. She saw all her old clothes in there, hanging just where she had left them three months ago. Dozens of dresses hung there. Racks of shoes lined one wall, and boxes were piled high, many unopened. She recalled the shopping trips into Qazhar city. No limit spending. At the time it had seemed like a dream come true. Razim had insisted she buy everything she would ever want. And she had.
Paige ran a hand along the clothes. It all seemed to belong to a different time. A different life. She hadn't even worn all of the outfits. There hadn't been time, she reflected. She hadn't lived in the palace long enough.
She went into the sitting room and gazed around the space, taking in the sight of the high ceilings, the expensive furnishings which she'd had imported from Europe. The rugs, the tables, the sofas, the chairs. She remembered arguing with Razim. He had wanted her to have traditional Qazhar furnishings, but she had wanted familiar things. Finally, he had relented, insisting that he would bring the best from Europe.
Anything to keep her happy, he had said. Razim had always been capable of sweet words. She had wondered if he had been sincere, making such remarks. There had been times when Razim had been so kind to her, so considerate, so loving, that she had played with the idea of remaining his wife. Of staying in Qazhar for good.
But, every time she'd toyed with that thought, Razim had done something which confirmed her in the view that she needed to get away from this crazy arranged marriage. Razim's nature was as turbulent as the shifting desert sands. One moment he could be the gentlest and most passionate man imaginable. The next, darkness could descend upon him, driving him to be demanding, insistent.
She sighed.
No. More than that. He was almost irresistible.
Living permanently with Razim, here in the sumptuous surroundings of the palace, was like riding an emotional rollercoaster. As far as Paige was concerned, their insane agreement had the potential to destroy them both.
Now, having seen how he'd behaved toward her on the plane, she felt confused. On the one hand he seemed genuinely concerned for her well-being. He'd been gentle and courteous too her. But he had also deceived her, and for that she was reluctant to forgive him.
Paige stepped out onto the terrace, feeling the heat of the late morning sun. She leaned against the marble balustrade and sighed. Had Razim been right? Was this her home? Could she ever have been happy here? She would never know, although tempting thoughts tugged at her mind. There had been times when she had fantasized about remaining here with Razim. About taking up her place as Razim's true wife. The rightful mistress of the palace. That was what he'd called her.
It was a fantasy which had pleased her at the time. But, that had been before the change in her relationship with Razim. That had all been before the arrangement. And it had been the agreement which had made Paige feel so very different. As if she was merely passing through.
Paige curled her fingers around the edge of the balustrade, feeling the coldness of the stone against her skin. Well, this time she really was passing through, she told herself. This time she really was just a visitor, here to get what she needed, before quickly and decisively moving on.
There was a knock at her door. Paige went into the sitting room and opened the suite's door. One of the servants, a young woman named Riyah, was standing in the corridor.
"The sheikh has asked that you join him downstairs," Riyah said calmly. "In the dining room."
"Has he?" Paige snapped. When she saw Riyah frown slightly, Paige immediately regretted the harshness of her tone. "Tell him I'll be down soon," she told the young woman.
Paige closed the door and asked herself why Razim would want to speak to her. Paige had told him, in no uncertain terms, that she didn't want to spend any time in Razim's company. And now he thought he could just snap his fingers and call on her? Who did he think he was? Hadn't she made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with him until he'd arranged the signing of the divorce papers?
She would have to go and establish the boundaries for her stay.
But Razim wasn't a man who took orders. This was how he was, she told herself as she closed the door to her suite behind her. Razim was a feral force of nature, utterly determined to have his way in all things.
As she made her way down the stairs, Paige recalled the many times when Razim had imposed his will upon her. He could be demanding in so many ways. Not only in ordinary, everyday matters. But especially in the bedroom.
In spite of herself, Paige couldn't help savoring some of the memories of their lovemaking. Razim was ferocious in bed. He was an expert and knew every possible way to drive Paige mad with ecstasy.
And that was why it was so dangerous for her to be here.
If she gave him even the slightest chance, she knew she would be lost. She knew her resolve would weaken. Razim was capable of making Paige change her mind, just with his touch, and that made her feel anxious. It made her desperate to get away before he had a chance to awaken the dormant fires which she had kept under control these past few months. The palace, no matter how beautiful it looked, was a dangerous trap.
A thought flickered into her mind. There was one place where she might be safe. A place which would guarantee that Razim would not be able to exploit the weaknesses she harbored like a guilt secret. It would hurt him, when she suggested it. But it would make things so much simpler.
Instantly encouraged by that possible solution, she entered the dining room. She found him sitting at the long table. He looked up as she entered the room. He gestured to the various dishes which had been laid out on the table. "I thought you might be hungry after the flight. We didn't have a chance to share breakfast," he explained.
"It's almost midday," she retorted.
He stood and went around to one of the chairs. He pulled it out from beneath the table. "Call it brunch," he said.
She sat down and felt him carefully push the seat underneath her rear. She glanced up at him and saw the appreciation in the way he was looking down at her. Razim was dressed in a plain white shirt, open at the collar. He wore tight-fitting dark blue pants. She had to admit he looked sexy.
He took his place on the other side of the table. A servant came carrying a large silver pot and poured out black coffee into the cup next to Paige's large empty plate.
Paige helped herself to some figs and yogurt, some toast and eggs and the coffee. She ate in silence for a while, acutely aware that Razim was watching her.
"Your room is just as you left it," Razim said.
"I noticed," she said nodding.
"Everything you need is here," he added.
Paige sipped her coffee and placed the cup gently down on the saucer. "About that, Razim," she said. "I've been thinking. I can't stay here."
"What!" Razim exclaimed.
Paige gazed steadily at Razim, seeing the consternation on his features. She shook her head. "There are too many memories here. Too much has happened for me to be able to stay here. I'm just a visitor," she said.
Razim leaned forward. "You are my wife. And this is your home."
"I won't be your wife for much longer, Razim," she said. "We both know I can't stay here overnight."
"Why?"
Paige's shoulders tightened and she stared at Razim. "It's difficult for me to explain."
Razim frowned. "Do you fear me?" he demanded.
For a moment she was taken aback by the directness of that question. It almost implied that she had to keep away from him. That he had given her cause to be nervous about being under the same roof as him. But, she knew that wasn't the reason. It was more to do with the fact that she didn't trust herself. That she needed to keep all of this as simple as possible.
"Of course I don't fear you, Razim," she explained. "We just have to get through this and then we can move on with our lives."
His features darkened and he sighed heavily. But he remained seated at the other side of the table. "What if I don't want to move on?" he said sternly. "What if I want you to remain here. With me."
Paige leaned back against her chair. "It's too late to change what we've done, Razim," she told him. "You brought me here with a specific purpose in mind."
"How do you know what my purpose was?" he asked. "You assume that I wanted rid of you. That I wanted to end this marriage. Has it occurred to you that you might be wrong? That I might want you to remain as my wife?"
Nerves twisted in her middle. She should have expected this conversation to be difficult. She'd gotten a hint of his desire for her in the way he'd kissed her on the plane. But, a part of her wanted to believe that had simply been an impulsive act. A momentary weakness on his part. And on hers. But, she knew that wasn't true.
The kiss had been terrifying. What it promised had scared her and sent her running back to the safety of her room, behind a locked door. And now she knew she needed that safety even more.
Paige stood, pushing the chair back. The sound of the chair scraping against the marble floor was loud in the high-ceilinged room. "I can't do this, Razim," she stated. "I've decided I'm going to use the apartment in the city while I'm here. I can't stay here in the palace."
Razim raced around the table and seized Paige by the upper arms. "You can't leave. I won't allow it."
Paige peered steadily into Razim's dark eyes. She saw the fierce determination in his gaze. She felt the strength of his hands. His fingers curled around the soft flesh of her arms. She knew she should have told him to let her go, but some impulse, rooted deep inside her, resisted the demand to tell him to unhand her. It felt strangely satisfying to be held by him.
Razim's body pressed gently against hers. She felt the firmness of his desire against her torso. Her throat tightened. She should have known this wouldn't be easy. That he wouldn't let her leave without putting up resistance. After all, didn't he always get his way? Wasn't he the lord and master of the palace? And wasn't she his long lost wife back from exile?
Something shifted inside her. A treacherous sensation swept through her body. It had been triggered by his touch and by the way he was gazing into her eyes. There was fervent desire in that gaze and it made her heartbeat quicken.
It was then that he seized his opportunity. As if sensing her weakness, Razim dipped his head and claimed her lips. Sensation swept through her body and she groaned as he thrust his tongue into her mouth. She felt his arms enfold her, drawing her firmly against him, crushing her with desperate need. Her breasts pressed against his hard chest. His breathing was hard and quickening by the second.
She should have known better, she told herself. This was exactly what she needed to avoid.
His tempting body; his persuasive desire.
His power. His dominating need.
But, just as those objections rose into her mind, her body was overwhelmed by the sheer pleasure Razim was capable of giving her. For a few brief, perfect moments she let herself sink into the ecstasy, letting it overtake her. This was how it felt to be claimed by the powerful sheikh who was still her husband.
Heat flared in her core and she felt her nipples harden with desire. She knew she was moments away from submitting. Knew she would not be able to resist him for much longer.
With a loud gasp, she tugged her head back. His eyes widened, startled at the suddenness of her refusal. She took a step back, freeing herself from his embrace.
She composed herself and tried to recover her breathing. It took a few moments, but eventually she managed to speak. "You see what I mean?" she snapped. "I have to go." Paige cleared her throat. "Please arrange for the limo to take me to the apartment in the city. I'll take some of my stuff from upstairs."
His mouth opened, objections on his mind. But then his shoulders sank and he nodded. "Of course. I'll tell the servants to do what you want. I can accompany you, if you want."
She shook her head firmly. "No. I want to go on my own."
Razim shook his head. "I can't allow you to go on your own."
"Why not?"
"It isn't appropriate that you leave the palace like that. So soon after arriving."
Paige frowned. "Worried what the servants will think?"
Razim narrowed his eyes. "They already know you haven't been here for a very long time. I'm sure they've drawn their own conclusions. Your absence has not gone unnoticed amongst Qazhar society."
"You're saying the great and the good have been gossiping about me while I've been in the US?"
"People have come to their own conclusions, Paige," Razim said. "It is inevitable they would do so."
"Well, never mind. They'll have plenty to talk about once the divorce is final," she said.
Razim gazed steadily at Paige. "Allow me to escort you to the apartment. Since you insist on refusing my hospitality here, at least grant me that privilege."
Paige thought a few moments and then nodded. "Okay. Just give me some time to get ready. And then I'll get going."
She could see the disappointment on his features. He didn't want her to leave. But he had to understand, she told herself. Especially after what had just happened. She'd won this particular battle, but would she win the war?
And then she turned and raced out of the room. As she did so, she couldn't help noticing that every nerve in her body still tingled with the remnants of his touch.