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The Undercover Mother: A laugh-out-loud romantic comedy about love, friendship and parenting by Emma Robinson (35)

Chapter Thirty-Five

The Boy managed to crawl a short distance last week. This was in response to a huge amount of encouragement, enthusiastic hand-clapping and, okay, I’ll admit it, the dangling of a chocolate bar in front of his face. Since then, he seems to be completely over the concept of moving altogether.

It won’t surprise you that Baby Sporty has been crawling for well over a month. If there was a baby triathlon (rolling, crawling, walking?) that child would win it. It’s hardly surprising when you look at her genes: as well as joining a Buggy Bootcamp group about a week after giving birth, Sporty wears a frickin’ Fitbit to the play centres so that she can measure how many padded ladders she’s climbed and slides she’s slid down.

It’s going to be interesting when we spend the weekend without the babies in tow. If she wants to start powerwalking everywhere, I might just find myself a nice wine bar and watch her through the window

From ‘The Undercover Mother’


The streets were much busier on the walk home than when they’d arrived: the bars belching people out into the streets and the nightclubs eating them up again. Young, attractive men and women called from the foyers of the neon-lit fronts, inviting people in. Jenny couldn’t help but notice that their invitations were a lot more earnest for the young girls behind them than they were for the four of them.

They made their way out to the seafront and started to leave the noise behind. The last ten minutes had been spent listening to Naomi spill her feelings about John, the prospect of another baby, and her life in general.

‘Well, you know my opinion – I don’t think you should stay in a situation when you’re unhappy.’ Gail was her usual frank self. ‘You only get one chance at life. You need to decide what is going to be best for you, Naomi.’

‘I don’t recall her actually asking for your opinion,’ said Antonia, stiffly, ‘and it’s not as easy as that. They have a child together.’ She turned to Naomi. ‘You need to think what it will be like bringing up Daisy on your own, Naomi. I know that I couldn’t do it.’

‘What, even with a full team of staff?’ murmured Gail. Jenny dug her in the side. She understood where Gail’s bitterness was coming from, but was hoping to avoid her dishing the dirt until they were back on home soil and Jenny could have nothing to do with it. Thankfully, Antonia didn’t seem to have heard Gail over the noise of a stag party going past, and Naomi’s sniffing.

‘John is a really nice man. He has been wonderful about everything. And I do love him.’ Naomi blew her nose noisily. ‘I can’t go on like this, but I really don’t want to do anything to hurt him. Or his family.’

‘You’re not raising a child with his family,’ warned Gail. ‘This is about you and him, and sometimes being in love with someone is not enough. Anyway, how do you know he doesn’t feel the same way? He might be trying to do the right thing as much as you are. Would he have asked you to move in with him if you hadn’t been about to have a baby?’

Naomi started to cry again. Jenny put an arm around her, giving Gail a warning look. ‘We can see that he loves you, Naomi. Look how supportive he was at the classes. Everyone could see how much he cared.’

Naomi wiped her eyes. ‘But maybe Gail is right. Maybe he’s just looking after me for Daisy’s sake.’

Antonia signalled her boredom with a huge sigh. ‘You’re going to need to talk to him, darling. You need to tell him how you feel. I’m sure it will all work itself out. Tell him to get his mother to keep her beak out and you will be as right as rain.’ Gail made a scoffing noise. This time, Antonia did hear her. ‘Sorry, Gail. Did you have something you wanted to add?’

Gail shrugged her shoulders. ‘Just seems ironic, you of all people advising someone to meet a problem head-on, and get it resolved.’

Antonia’s eyebrows seemed to go even higher. ‘Maybe not as ironic as the single mother giving relationship advice.’

Gail looked as if she might explode. Naomi took a sharp intake of breath. Jenny changed the subject. ‘I think we need to try Ruth’s number again… I’m really getting worried about her. Gail, could you call her, please?’

Gail punched the front of her phone screen like she was programming a virtual voodoo doll – and the death stare she’d given Antonia made it clear who she was imagining it to be. She held the phone to her ear for a few seconds. ‘Still no answer. It’s going directly to voicemail.’

‘It’s all my fault.’ Naomi started to grizzle again. ‘I’m dreading facing Ruth.’

Everything was coming to a head. Jenny picked up the pace. All she wanted to do was confirm that Ruth was safely back at the house and then get to bed.


When they got back to the house, however, and Gail had checked the bedroom she was sharing with Ruth, she reported that, no, she was not back yet. Naomi went straight to bed after the others promised her that they would wake her if Ruth didn’t return soon. Jenny was relieved to get rid of her. There were only so many times you could say, ‘There, there,’ before it started to get on your wick. Exhausted, she sank down into one of the comfortable armchairs and checked her mobile again.

‘I’m going to send Ruth another text. I know the phone reception is patchy down here, but she must have got one of them.’ She felt bad being irritated with Ruth, but she really wanted to go to bed herself. Ruth’s reaction to Naomi had surprised her. Of course, Jenny had expected her to be upset at the ease with which Naomi managed to fall pregnant when she wasn’t even happy about it, but throwing a glass of wine over her was rather over the top. She tapped her foot as she typed, ‘Are you okay?’ for the fifth time.

The only person who didn’t seem concerned at all was Antonia. Jenny could hear her humming to herself in the kitchen. Gail, on the other hand, had a face like thunder. Antonia’s mood might be about to change.

Antonia came back into the lounge to join them with an open bottle of wine and three glasses. ‘Fancy a glass whilst we wait, ladies?’

In the circumstances, Jenny definitely didn’t want to stay up with the two of them, but she couldn’t possibly go to bed until they’d heard from Ruth. Might as well have another glass.

‘I will.’ Gail’s tone was decisive.

Was she building up to tell Antonia everything? It wouldn’t be surprising after Antonia’s bitchy ‘single mother’ comment on the way home. Should Jenny leave? Was there time?

Gail stood behind the chair in which Jenny was sitting, her hands on the back of it. ‘Antonia, I need to speak to you.’

Too late.

Antonia held up a hand and walked slowly to a chaise longue that was under the window, almost draping herself on it, like a heroine from a Fitzgerald novel. ‘Hang on, darling. I need to be sitting down with a glass of wine in my hand when you tell me that you’ve been sleeping with my husband.’

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