Fourteen
Cooper opened the door to his RV and let Sarah step inside first. He’d left a dim light on over the stove. It cast a gentle glow on the room and when he closed the door, he slipped an arm around her and pulled her close. He placed a soft kiss on her lips. “Just let me get my arms around you for a second and then I’ll make some—”
She put her hands on his cheeks and pulled his mouth down to hers, cutting him off. Lips touched lips for a mere second before his arms tightened around her and he took her mouth by storm, opening his mouth over hers. A growl came from deep inside him as he went after her. She purred and he groaned. Then he turned with her in his arms and pressed her against the wall just inside the door. Her arms were locked around his neck and he ran a hand over her butt, down the back of her thigh and lifted her leg from behind the knee to his hip, pushing himself against her.
He was hard that fast. No big surprise. He’d been having hard thoughts all the way home, even though they’d talked and laughed like old friends. This was still completely unplanned, but he thrust his pelvis against hers. And she pushed back.
“Jesus, Sarah...” he murmured against her mouth.
Her fingers threaded into the short hair over his ears and she clung to him, kissing him deeply, welcoming his tongue. And she whispered, “Uh-huh...”
His hand found a breast, then slipped under her sweater and found more of a breast, though still covered by a lacy bra. He ran a finger around the lace, found her neck with his mouth and kissed, sucked, ran a thumb over her erect nipple. “God,” he whispered. “Jesus. God.”
She chuckled softly. “Are you praying?”
“Oh, God, yes,” he whispered, grinding against her. “Or begging...maybe that’s just begging....”
He made a study of her neck, ear, temple and chin with his lips, with his tongue, going back to her mouth again and again, growing breathless and crazy. He pushed up her sweater and found that nipple with his lips. And then she slid her arms from around his neck to his waist, from his waist to his butt, pulling him against her. And she hummed.
He ran that hand over her bottom and down her thigh to that raised knee again, but this time he went all the way to her heel and slid off her boot. Those delicious tight jeans wouldn’t come off over the boot.
“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes.”
His fingers found the waist of her jeans, the snap, the zipper. He slid a hand inside, lower and lower, until he was feeling a soft tuft of hair and then the damp softness of her. God, she was at least as turned-on as he. Ready, so ready. That’s all it took to have him praying again. But he said, “This is crazy. Good crazy. So good...”
“Crazy,” she agreed, just as her hands found the snap of his jeans. “Good.”
Cooper kept telling himself to slow down, to slow way down, to let go and find a place to lay her down, but he couldn’t seem to get past the lust barrier and neither could she. When she lowered his zipper, it got even more desperate and complicated. As she took him in her hand, his head almost exploded and he muttered, “Condom. Condom. Condom.”
He had to let go of her briefly to get into his back pocket. He fumbled to find the condom, but once it was in his hand, she took it away from him. “Let me,” she said. But she took her time with him, enjoying him for a while, stroking him, kissing him all the while.
“Sarah,” he begged. “Get on with it. Please.”
She suited him up, then slid her leg down from his hip. He gently but a little desperately lowered her jeans, pulling off one leg, then the other. He probed her with his fingers then lifted her off the ground, her back against the wall. A million possible endearments ran through his head. But he said, “Help.”
She threaded her hand between their bodies, found him, helped him find his way inside. He was half out of his mind and long past thinking logically; he slid in and gave a deep groan. She, on the other hand, gave a rather loud “Ahh!” He held her still and fast for a long moment. Then, holding her up under her thighs, he began to move, every thrust bringing him closer to an insane, brainless ecstasy. He thought about saying he was sorry, that he’d make it up to her later, but then she cried out. Her legs tightened around him, her internal muscles clenched and pulled the most amazing orgasm out of him as she came. And came. Her arms locked around his neck; she moaned in pleasure; she held him so tight as he plunged into her again and again and again. It was a long time before all that pelvic action slowed then stopped. Cooper was completely out of breath; his knees went weak. She was panting and holding on for dear life.
“Baby,” he said in a desperate whisper. “Please don’t move.”
“I can’t.” She sighed.
“Just don’t move,” he said again. “You could break off meaningful parts....”
She sighed again, nuzzling, kissing his cheek.
“Honey...Sarah...I’m sorry, baby....”
“Sorry?” she asked weakly.
“Jesus, I took you. Against the wall. In three minutes. And you still have your jacket on.”
She was quiet a moment. “That’s a relief. I thought I took you.”
“That, too. My God. Don’t move. That was... I can’t even describe that. It was... Jeez.”
“I’m getting a little uncomfortable.”
“Soon,” he said. He kissed her neck, then her lips. “Soon.” He kissed her again, with passion. “Ah, Sarah. I’m surprised I have legs. I’ve never...”
“Never? You certainly acted like you knew what you were doing. Come on, Cooper. I have to get down now. Please?”
He pulled his head back just slightly to look down at them. Her jacket hung off one shoulder, her sweater pushed up over her breasts, and she was naked from the waist down. His sweater was askew, his shirttails hanging out, and his pants drooped. He laughed. “We look like we just survived a hurricane.” He lifted her up a bit, let her drop her legs to the ground. But he kept his hands on her bare butt. “No coffee tonight, baby. Bed. We have to go to bed.”
She couldn’t help but laugh at him. “What if I don’t want to go to bed?”
“Then you’ll be getting real familiar with this wall.” He hoisted up his pants but didn’t bother zipping. Then he bent down, grabbed her jeans in one hand and scooped her up in his arms. He carried her up the three steps to his bedroom, putting her down on the bed. He helped her out of her jacket, removed his and said, “Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right back.” And he left the room.
The bathroom was very close to the bedroom, of course. Everything was close to everything—it was a trailer. While he was in the bathroom, she yelled, “I’m feeling a little...exposed here.”
“Get under the covers,” he yelled back.
“I’m not sure I’m in the mood for that. What if I want coffee?”
He walked back into the room. Hands on his hips, jeans still unzipped, he loomed over her. He smiled at her. “You know what I realized about thirty seconds after opening the door tonight? You didn’t want coffee.” Then he pulled his sweater over his head.
“Now what?” she asked.
He reached for the hem of her sweater and pulled it off. “I want to hold you. And maybe try regular sex, if the spirit moves us.”
“What’s that?” she asked, automatically unhooking her bra and tossing it.
“You know,” he said, getting rid of his boots and pants. “The plain old regular but excellent kind, complete with foreplay, which we didn’t get to before. No danger of back injury or broken bones, but very good just the same.” He pulled the covers back and she twisted into them. He crawled in beside her and pulled her into his arms. “Although, what we just did...I think that was one of the best things I’ve ever done. Or one of the best things that’s ever been done to me. I don’t think there’s any way to top it.” He pulled her closer, kissed her cheek, running his big callused hand over her soft skin.
“I’m feeling a little unsure of myself,” she said, snuggling closer to him. “I’ve never done this before.”
“What? Vanilla sex?”
“Sex without any commitment at all. I mean, I’ve had plenty of sex, don’t get me wrong. Okay, not plenty...not that much, actually. But I always thought it was going somewhere. That there was love. Or something.”
“Well, don’t write me off so fast,” Cooper said. “Maybe in about an hour and a half, you’ll think you love me.”
“But I’m afraid of that—I don’t ever want to be in love again. I can’t get involved, you know that. For a hundred reasons. I’m vulnerable. I just got divorced. I have major responsibilities. But I’ve never even considered something like this before—sex with someone I like, but without any emotional investment.”
And, Cooper thought, that was the only kind he’d ever had. He was usually the one to say I can’t get involved. He’d had a lot of logical reasons, some like hers. He was being deployed or transferred, moving, just broke up with someone, you name it. There were a couple of times he had forgotten to say he couldn’t get involved and he’d ended up engaged, wondering what the hell had happened. But he’d never really been in love. Not even close. And here he was, suddenly wondering what that would feel like. Wondering what he’d been missing.
“I’m not sure I know what to do,” she said.
He ran his fingers through the short hair over her temple. “You don’t have to know anything, honey. You just have to be yourself, be honest, tell me what you need and let it happen naturally. I’m not going to try to trip you up.”
“You won’t have...expectations?”
He shook his head.
“You won’t use me for sex and then just turn your back on me? Suddenly?”
“Hey, I’m not a bad guy. We wouldn’t be together right now if we didn’t like each other. I never turn my back on a friend. No matter what.”
“I can trust you, then?”
“You can trust me.”
“You won’t be with other women while you’re with me? Because I’d have to kill you.”
“I wouldn’t do that. I might not be a settling-down kind of guy, but I’m definitely a one-woman-at-a-time kind of guy.”
“That’s all I want right now—to be the only woman with a guy who I like and who I trust. A friend. Oh, man, don’t ever let me have two glasses of wine again,” she said.
“You can’t blame the wine,” he said.
She tilted her head and smiled into his eyes. “You’re right. I’m just so tired of not having a friend. And because...well, that up-against-the-wall thing is one of the best things that ever happened to me.”
He smiled back, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I’ll have to start lifting weights, so I’m sure to keep you happy.” Then his smile vanished and he kissed her. “Right now, I think we should try the old-fashioned kind—no trapeze, no props, no 6.8 difficulty.”
She slid her hand down his belly and found out what he was talking about. She closed her hand around him and his eyes rolled back in his head. He wanted her again. Bad.
* * *
Sarah wasn’t the first woman Cooper had been involved with who had kids. There hadn’t been many—and there’d never been one with a sixteen-year-old at home—but he didn’t have to be told how important it was that she set an example for Landon.
He pulled up in front of her house at eleven-thirty. Landon’s truck was already in the carport beside her SUV.
“Do I look like I just had a fattening dinner and a couple of hours of wonderful sex?” she asked him.
Cooper lifted her chin and turned her face to and fro. “If he doesn’t look into your eyes, you’re safe.”
“Swell.”
“If he recognizes that flush and glow, it’s time to have another one of those sex talks with him,” Cooper suggested.
“He says if I bring up safe and responsible sex one more time, he’s running away from home.”
Cooper laughed at her. “You’ll be fine.” He gave her a brief kiss. “Sweet dreams.”
He watched her go into the house before he drove away across the beach. The sand was hard packed close to the hill. There were a few people on the beach, sitting close to a campfire. He wasn’t sure if they were kids or adults—he didn’t see any all-terrain vehicles or motorcycles. But he wasn’t worried. In fact, it gave him a good feeling to have someone using the beach.
When he went inside the trailer, the first thing he noticed was her scent. He wasn’t sure if she’d left it behind or if it was still on his breath, his tongue. The place seemed oddly empty without her there.
He cracked open a beer and went to his bedroom, sitting on the rumpled sheets, flicking on the TV. But he didn’t watch. He thought about Sarah and the way her body felt beneath his hands, the way he felt inside her. Her laugh. Her sarcasm. That’s a relief. I thought I took you. Her sincerity and honesty. She wanted to have a relationship without strings, but didn’t really know how. Ha. He was so glad he hadn’t confessed that seemed to be the only kind he knew how to have.
He wanted her with him tonight, through the night. He’d wanted plenty of women, but there was something fresh about this time. It was new. It was deep. There wasn’t anything confusing about it—it was honest. He could already feel her hooks in him. He was an expert at not caring deeply, yet this time it wasn’t working for him. He wanted her in every way—physically, intellectually, emotionally. And she didn’t want him back in that way. In fact, she needed his help in remaining unattached.
“Shit,” he said aloud to no one. “I’m screwed.”
* * *
The last football game for Thunder Point High School was a home game and the night was mild and clear. The McCain contingent occupied their fifty yard line seats, but this time Sarah was included with Cooper and Gina had convinced her mom to come. Carrie was a huge supporter of the team, and good friends with Lou, but running a deli and catering service required that she be up by four in the morning for baking and cooking and it was rare that she stayed up past eight in the evening.
There was lots of laughter, chatter and cheering, but Gina was aware almost instantly that the relationship between Sarah and Cooper had grown more serious. At first it was just in the way he looked at her. It was as if the very sight of her made Cooper happy. While Sarah stared out at the field, watching her brother play, Cooper would throw a long glance her way and his lips would curve in a secret smile while his eyes got a little dreamy. And before long, Gina saw him reach for her hand, hold it, give it a squeeze.
It was with that simple action that Gina felt her throat close and her eyes cloud.
They’d known each other for what? A few weeks? A couple of months? Of course they were bonded over Landon’s problems, but they weren’t attracted to each other because of Sarah’s brother. Gina wondered how deep, how intense the relationship was now, but of course she couldn’t ask. In fact, learning this way, at a raucous football game, was a blessing; no one would notice that she was so envious she could have wept. By halftime, when Cooper and Mac wandered off to stretch their legs, leaving the women, she was composed again.
Gina turned to Sarah and said, “When did that happen? You and Cooper?”
Sarah shrugged. “A week, maybe ten days ago.”
“I like him,” Carrie said.
“Good man, Cooper,” Lou said.
Gina leaned close to Sarah’s ear and asked, “Next level?”
Before Sarah could even think about answering, Carrie said, “Gina!”
“Damn, she’s got the ears of a bloodhound,” Gina said.
“Well, it’s none of your business,” Carrie said. “Besides, it’s obvious.”
“It is?” Sarah and Gina said in unison.
With a wave of her hand, Carrie said, “It’s in the touch, the look, just the energy. Go ahead and deny it, Sarah.”
To Gina’s surprise, Sarah only laughed. “We’re just friends,” she said. “It’s very comfortable but not serious.”
“Ah, friends with benefits,” Carrie said. “The modern way.”
“Not exactly,” Sarah said. “We’re dating, that’s all. Cooper completely understands that a serious or even potentially serious relationship is out of the question for me. I’ve been divorced less than a year. My first priorities are Landon and my job and, believe me, I’m in no way ready to get involved in anything long-term. Too risky for me. My wounds are still a little fresh. And Cooper...? Well, he makes no secret about the fact that he has a few things to do here and then he’ll be leaving. He’s been doing the internet-job-search thing.”
“What about the beach?” Gina asked.
“He hasn’t decided. But he’s a helicopter pilot, military first and then civilian. There aren’t any helicopter jobs around here outside of the Coast Guard. He’s leaving, girls. And you know what? That makes him kind of safe for me.”
“Unless you accidentally fall in love with him,” Gina said.
“I already love him, but not in that typical romantic way. Not the way I fell for my ex before I knew he was a cruel, selfish bastard. I love the way Cooper keeps an eye out for my brother, love the way he makes me laugh, love that I can trust his friendship. And in two or three months, we’re not going to live in the same town, but if we’re still good friends, maybe we’ll stay in touch. Right now, all I want is a nice guy to go to dinner with sometimes and who will hold my hand in public. That’s all I want. All I have room for in my life.”
“Fling?” Lou asked.
“I’m not going to put a label on it. We could decide this is not the best idea in two weeks. Or we could stumble along for a while. We did make a promise to each other—that if it wasn’t the right thing for one of us and we had to step away, there would be no drama. I’m not going to hold a man hostage. No way.”
It hit Gina hard and suddenly. She would take any part of that, any little part. A date, a little hand-holding, some late-night chats on the phone, whatever. She’d go along with that whole “not serious” thing if that’s all there was.
But it was Lou who asked, “Think you can stick to that?”
“Yeah,” she said. “Right now if I went out with a man who was looking for a wife or even a live-in partner, I’d run for my life. We’ll go out some night, a girl’s night, and I’ll tell you about the ex, the cheating bastard who dumped me and my brother after less than a year.” She shook her head. “Not easy for me to trust men now. Just the fact that I trust Cooper’s friendship is a big step.”
“Yeah,” Lou said. “She can stick to it.”
It was only a few moments before the men were back with snacks and everything in the conversation changed as they waited for the second half to start. Except for one thing. Gina thought she had a better grasp of Mac’s fear of relationships. It must be a little like Sarah’s, but with a lot more tenacity—his wife had left him ten years ago. She knew all about his ex-wife’s betrayal. Not from Mac, though he’d mentioned a few details, but from Lou, whose anger over what Cee Jay had done to her family was enormous and frightening.
The game was won by a landslide, Landon once again the star. The parents had all been warned that there would be celebrating tonight, closing off football for the season. Everyone grabbed their bleacher cushions, lap blankets, coolers and trash and headed out. But Gina stayed for a moment. She remembered being a high school sophomore, sitting right here on these bleachers. The games were thrilling, the crowds of kids even more so. The forbidden parties afterward were electrifying. Gina had a boyfriend who hung out with a lot of Thunder Point High kids, but he wasn’t a student. He’d dropped out the year before and was an auto mechanic in Bandon, which made him dangerous and arousing. He liked the games and after-parties; he liked the girls, fast driving and late nights. And Gina—he liked Gina. She held him off for their first five secret dates and then gave in and got pregnant.
When she told her boyfriend, he split. Moved. Bolted. She heard he went to Idaho to work. A few years later his parents moved away from Thunder Point, into a seniors’ community near their married daughter and grandchildren. All ties were broken. Hell, there hadn’t been any ties! No one had even acknowledged that Ashley was his child.
She hadn’t gone to another high school football game until Ashley began cheering.
“Hey,” Mac called from several seats below. “Coming?”
Not in years, she wanted to say. Instead, she said, “Coming.”
It’s not as though Gina hadn’t realized before tonight that she had no romantic partner in her life. Never had. She’d had a few meaningless dates that had never shown potential and one big heartthrob who kept her at arm’s length.
Mac put out his hand as she stepped down the bleachers and she let him help her. They walked together toward the parking lot.
“Good game,” he said.
She nodded.
“I can’t wait to see what that kid does next year,” Mac said. “Dupre. He’s some ball player.”
Her buddy, Mac, she thought. Her pal.
“Hey, what’s up with you? You’re quiet.”
She stopped walking and looked up at him. She thought, This has gone on long enough. I have to get on with my life. He’s never going to be mine. “Headache,” she said.
“Too much noise?” he asked.
“Maybe.”
“The kids are all going out. Lou can take Dee Dee and Ryan home. How bad is that headache? We could grab a beer and still be home by curfew.”
And then I can go home and fall asleep to that old fantasy that we might be more than pals? When it’s never going to happen? “Maybe another time, Mac. I’m working in the morning.”
“You sure?” he asked. “We could get you an aspirin or something.”
“I think I need my bed.” They got to the parking lot and she veered off toward her car. Carrie stood there, talking with Lou, waiting for her.
“See you later, then,” he said.
“Later,” she answered. And later and later and later and later...
* * *
The next morning, Gina cursed the doorbell. It was eleven o’clock. Carrie was at the deli, Ashley had gone shopping with Eve, Gina was finally alone and desperately needed to be. She had held her wrecked emotions inside until she could have some space, some privacy. She ignored the doorbell, but it rang again and again. With her red nose and watering eyes, she finally threw her ratty old robe over her pajamas and opened the door to meanly tell the stupid SOB who was leaning on the bell to get off her porch.
“Hi. You okay?” Mac asked.
“What are you doing here?” she shot back.
“You called in sick to the diner. You never call in sick.” He peered at her closely. “God, you look awful.”
She glared at him. “Thanks so much.”
“Do you want me to take you to the doctor? Do you have a fever?”
“No! It’s a cold, it’ll pass! But I’m not feeling like company.”
He pushed his way inside. “I’ll make you some tea or soup or something. You go lay on the couch. Did your headache turn into a cold? Must’ve been sinus or something. Maybe I should get some soup from Carrie.”
She rolled her eyes. Oh, God, she internally wailed. Just what she needed—Mac. And Mac at the deli, looking for chicken soup? Carrie, who left for work before dawn, had no idea Gina was staying home, claiming a cold. She was supposed to be having a richly deserved self-pity party! This was her only chance. She sank down onto the couch and pressed a tissue up to her face. “Mac, all I really need is to sleep.”
He stepped back into the living room, holding a can of chicken soup—Chicken & Stars, not something the owner of a deli would brag about. “I could warm this up for you.”
“No, thank you,” she said. “Please go. Before you breathe my air and get sick.”
He sat down in the chair across the small room from her, transferring the can from hand to hand. He just looked at her for a moment. She blew her nose. She tried a little cough.
“You’re not sick,” he said. “You’re crying. Why are you crying? What happened? Who did this to you?”
She shook her head and in spite of her determination, her eyes welled with unshed tears. She was not going to talk to him about this! “Mac, it’s very personal. Please. Don’t push.”
“But what is it?” he asked again, leaning toward her, his elbows on his knees, gripping the soup can. “Is Ashley in trouble? Is Carrie all right? Did someone hurt you? Do you need money?”
“Oh, for God’s sake! No! No! No! Will you leave this alone?”
“I can’t,” he said. “I’ve never seen you cry. Tell me, Gina.”
“You’re pissing me off!”
“Tell me!”
“Cooper and Sarah were holding hands at the game!” she blurted. Then she dropped her head into her hands. “Damn it. Damn it. Damn it!”
Mac was silent. She lifted her head, wiped off her eyes and nose with the tissue and saw by his expression that he was stunned. “You have a thing for Cooper?” he asked quietly.
She just looked at him in wonder. She shook her head. “No, Mac, I don’t have a thing for Cooper. I haven’t had a date in five years. I saw Sarah and Cooper holding hands and it hit me—they’ve only known each other a few weeks. And I’m alone. Way too alone.”
“You’re not alone, Gina. You have your mom, your daughter, friends...”
“You’re an idiot.” She stood up. “And now you have to go because at this moment I want to be alone!” She went to the front door and opened it.
Mac slowly stood. “I don’t think I understand what’s—”
“I know you don’t. Gimme that soup,” she said, snatching it from his hand.
“I thought, if you’re not sick, maybe you want to go out tonight. It’s Lou’s bunco night, but Eve can watch the kids and—”
“I’m busy,” she said, cutting him off. “Maybe another time. Now if you don’t mind...”
“Jesus, Gina,” he said.
“See you later,” she said. “Nice of you to check on me. Bye.”
“Gina...”
“No, really, Mac. Goodbye.”
“Are you mad at me?” he asked.
“I’m mad at the world! Now get out of here before I call the cops!”
“I am the cops. I think you’re losing it, Gina. Get a grip,” he said. But he left.
And she threw herself on her bed and cried.