Fifteen
When the door from the garage opened, Lou was standing in the kitchen, ready to leave for the evening. “I thought you’d never get home. Where have you been all day?”
“I checked in,” he reminded her.
“Yes, but I didn’t realize ordering a cord of firewood, checking your messages at the office and taking a look at the progress on Cooper’s bar was going to eat up six hours.”
“Am I making you late?” he asked.
“No, not yet.”
He sat down at the kitchen table. “Eve staying home tonight?”
“That’s her plan, but I think the boyfriend is coming over. You’re okay with that, right? I’m going out to dinner with my bunco partner. If I have more than a glass and a half of wine, I might stay over. I’ll text you so I don’t wake you with a ringing phone. And if I do spend the night, I’ll be home in the morning, first thing.”
“Just enjoy yourself,” he said. “Listen, you got a minute?”
“Sure. I might even have ten.”
“Can this be between us? I think it’s personal. Don’t talk to Carrie about it, all right?”
It was the look on his face more than his request that had her sitting down at the table with him. “What’s the matter?”
“I’m not sure. Gina wasn’t at the diner this morning. Stu said she called in sick, so I went to her house to check on her. She said she had a cold, but she didn’t have a cold. She was crying. And she was angry. Mad as hell. When I asked her what was wrong, she said Cooper and Sarah were holding hands. So I asked her if she had a crush on Cooper and she called me an idiot and asked me to leave.”
“Oh, Mac,” Lou said. “You’re such an idiot.”
“Now see, this is obviously some female language I don’t get. How does that make me an idiot?”
Lou leaned her chin on her hand. “Mac, do you think she’s going to wait for you forever?”
“Huh?” he asked stupidly.
“This town is amazing, isn’t it? The way we talk about everything and nothing? Some gossip takes about thirty seconds to spread worldwide and some things are kept almost religiously secret. You and Gina, Mac. Best friends for years. Closer than brother and sister. More fond than lovers. And yet, it goes nowhere? No two people more right for each other, but—”
“We’re parents, Lou. We’re friends because the kids are friends. It would be a mistake to complicate that.”
She just shook her head. “We should’ve talked about this years ago. It wouldn’t be very complicated, given the fact that you know each other better than a lot of married couples. What’s taking you so long? You’re crazy about her. And there’s absolutely no doubt she’s crazy about you. Neither of you has been even tempted by anyone else.”
He squirmed in his chair. That in itself was telling—this great, big, muscled, fearless guy, fidgeting awkwardly. “History, that’s what’s keeping us from dating. You should understand that better than anyone.”
“Excuse me, I’m a little confused. What history?”
He gave a short, humorless laugh. “How about she was dumped by the father of her baby and I was dumped by the mother of my children? That good enough? We might be a couple of people with good reason to be careful!”
Lou just looked at him for a long moment. “She was fifteen,” she said. “And you? You were only nineteen when you married your pregnant girlfriend and she was... Oh, don’t even make me go there. I have a good idea she knew exactly what she was doing. I know it’s an optimistic stretch, but you and Gina have probably grown up a lot since then. You’re obviously attracted to each other.”
“What if we dated and didn’t like each other?” he said.
“You’ll always like each other. What if you dated and realized you weren’t meant to be a couple? Grown-ups deal with that without rancor. But right now what you’ve got is a woman who has waited for you to make a move for years. Her frustration must be beyond words. And we all know you don’t have another woman anywhere.”
“We? Who, we?”
“The whole stupid town,” she said. “Seriously, Mac. There are hardly any secrets around here—no one should know that better than you.”
“Okay, now wait a minute. If everyone thinks we’re meant for each other and this close to getting together, why is she crying after years of friendship? Which, by the way, we agreed was the best thing.”
“Really? You both decided? Somehow I doubt that was Gina’s idea. But I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it was. Then the reason for her tears would be this—Sarah and Cooper hit town, meet in an extremely complicated way, are attracted to each other and, without overthinking it, form some kind of relationship. One that puts a shine in both their eyes. Gina must have wondered what she’s done wrong. She might be thinking you don’t find her attractive or appealing.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said. “It’s just—” He didn’t finish.
“It’s just that you screwed up at the age of nineteen, no pun intended, and you still can’t let yourself off the hook for it?”
“It left me with quite a load—three kids and an opinionated aunt,” he said, lifting an eyebrow.
“Well, we’ve done pretty damn well with the spoils,” she said. “We’ve kept it all under control for years. Our kids are doing very well. Here’s what I think you should do, Deputy Yummy Pants. I think you should weigh how damn lucky you are that a woman as solid and beautiful and wonderful as Gina would even consider you. Most men don’t get a chance like that in a lifetime. And it sounds like she’s had just about enough.”
He just stared at her. “I might need a beer,” he finally said. He pushed back his chair but she got up, got him a bottle of beer from the refrigerator and sat back down. He twisted off the cap and took a drink. “What if I let her down?”
“You’ve never let anyone down in your life. You’ve been let down. In spades. But you’ve always lived up to your commitments.”
“Lou, I wasn’t happy.” He nearly whispered it, as if it was the deepest secret of all. “I wanted to marry Cee Jay, and I was miserable. I don’t want to risk that again.”
“I know. By now you should know what makes you happy.” She shook her head and laughed. “Talk about the pink elephant in the living room! Has no one ever asked you why you’re not hooked up with Gina?”
“No one,” he said. “Never.”
She tsked and shook her head. “Amazing. Well, you should think about all this before she gets away from you. If I were Gina, I’d be asking myself why I’m wasting my time. I’d sign on to a dating service.”
“Again?” he asked, and smiled.
“You don’t know anything. And I have to get going,” she said, standing. “We’ll talk about this again after you’ve had time to think. And listen, don’t let Eve go over to Landon’s house tonight. Sarah is working all weekend—sitting on call for emergencies or something in North Bend.”
“I know,” he said. “Cooper mentioned that. So. You always look so nice for bunco.”
She sat down. She hated this. But Lou was, if anything, fair. It was time to be honest with Mac. “I’m not going to play bunco. I’m going to meet my secret boyfriend who is ten years younger than I am, a different race than me, and happens to work with you on occasion.”
Mac smiled at her. “I know. Joe. Nice guy.”
“He told you?” she asked, horrified.
“I followed you.”
“You what?”
He gave a shrug. “I couldn’t remember ever hearing of these women you were playing bunco with in Coquille, so I followed you. I wanted to be sure you were safe.”
“Oh, for Jesus’ sake,” she said. “Why didn’t you just ask me?”
“Because you didn’t want to talk about it and, unlike you, I was letting you hold on to your privacy. And I’m willing to bet you’ve never seen Dancing with the Stars or the reruns you lock yourself in your room to watch. I can hear you talking on your phone. And giggling.”
She leaned toward him and leveled him with her mean-aunt look. “If you’re such a damn smart detective, how is it you don’t know you’re in love with Gina?”
“Let me tell you something you probably already know. When Cee Jay got pregnant, even though we were kids with hardly an income between us, I was the happiest kid alive. Wanna know why? Because I was going to get to have sex without hiding in the backseat of a car every night for the rest of my life. That’s what I thought love was, and it was a disaster. My life went to hell. I’m a tough guy—I can take it. But I can’t stand the idea of putting Gina or the kids through something like that.”
“Mac...”
“What about you, Lou? You’ve dated before. Plenty. Why are you hiding this one? Is it because Joe’s black?”
“Of course not. I like him so much, but I want you and the kids to have no doubt that I’m planning to stick this out, see everyone grown-up and on their own. And by the time I do that, I’ll be seventy. Seventy, Mac. Joe might change his mind.”
Mac smiled at her. “I bet most of this town thinks two of the most self-assured people here are you and I. I’m afraid of going after a girl and you’re afraid some guy will dump you for getting older. Which, by the way, is going to happen to him, too—getting older, I mean.”
“Not as fast,” she said grimly. “I’ve been thinking about a face-lift.”
“You’re the best-looking fifty-year-old in town.”
She smiled broadly. “Thanks, Mac. Really, thanks. Since I’m sixty.”
“I know.”
* * *
Lou let herself into Joe’s house and found him in the kitchen, chopping vegetables for a salad. She leaned in the doorway and just took him in—so tall and broad, his bald head shiny and latte-colored. He had the most wonderful eyebrows—black, arched, expressive.
He looked up and smiled. “Hello, beautiful.”
“Good, we’re staying in,” she said. “You cooked?”
“I bought a roasted chicken from the grocery, and I’m making a salad. Glass of wine?”
“A double, please. He knows, Joe. Mac knows.”
“Well, I didn’t tell him, although I wanted to.” He grabbed the chilled white out of the refrigerator and a glass from the cupboard. “Did you tell him?”
She shook her head. “Apparently he’s known for months. He followed me to one of my bunco games.”
Joe laughed. “That dog.”
“He asked me if I’m hiding you because you’re black.”
“Seriously? People hardly give a biracial couple a second glance. Did you tell him you’re hiding me because I sometimes work with him?”
She shook her head. “I told him the truth.” She took a sip of her wine. “I told him it’s because I love you and I’m afraid by the time I’m done raising my kids, his kids, I’ll be almost seventy. And you’ll finally come to your senses. When it’s too late for me to get over you.”
His lips curled in a smile and he came around the work island to face her. He put his hands on her slender waist. “I should be annoyed by that, you know. That you keep expecting me to bail out on you because of something as trivial as age. But I’m not. Know why?”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t mind convincing you that’s idiotic. Bring that glass of wine to bed.”
They walked together toward the bedroom, holding hands. Lou said, “I’m sixty, been single all my life. I’ve had a few serious crushes that I thought might turn into something, but here I am, in love for the first time. At my age.”
“Good. Stop complaining.”
“Older people can get sick, you know. You could end up caring for some old woman.”
“I pulled a speeding car over last night. A man was rushing his wife to the hospital. She’d been diagnosed with cancer, had been sick on and off for a few years and was getting worse. She was having trouble breathing, had chest pains and he thought it might be an embolism. He thought he was losing her. She was thirty-two.”
“Oh, the poor things...”
“I lit it up and escorted them to the hospital. Let’s let that age thing you’re always worrying about go, Lou. Let’s just have us some fun, now that Mac knows. All right?”
“Fun. Right.” She slid her hand up his chest to his shoulder. “What are you doing for Thanksgiving in two weeks? Will you be with your kids this year?”
“One is going skiing with friends and the other is spending the holiday with her mother and stepfather.”
“How’d you like to make your debut?”
He grinned at her. “Sounds like a plan.”
* * *
Thanksgiving Day, the weather was clear, wind moderate, temperature in the low forties on the Pacific, lower in the mountains where it was snowing. Sarah was at work until four o’clock, at which time she would head out of North Bend for Thunder Point and her boss would take over command. On holidays they tried to divide the watch. Crews of pilots, maintenance and EMTs would work the day shift, and the folks that had the day shift off would have their holiday meal early and come in later.
The station was quiet. This was a busy place Monday through Friday, when so much support staff, from clerical to maintenance, populated the place. But on nights, weekends and holidays, they operated with a slightly smaller workforce for emergencies. There were no training flights or inspections; Sarah wouldn’t fly unless there was a rescue mission. She used her time catching up on officer efficiency reports, schedules for training flights and inventory of her helicopters. The helicopters had been put through the preflight checklists, gassed and were ready to go.
She was at her desk but kept looking at her watch, more than ready to call this workday over.
“Sarah.”
She looked up and saw her ex-husband standing in the doorway. “You’re early,” she said, looking at her watch again. He wasn’t due for an hour.
“I thought I’d offer you an early out for the holiday. Do you have plans?”
“I do,” she said, putting down her pen and leaning back in her chair. “I’m having dinner with friends.”
“And Landon?”
She lifted her brows. “The same friends,” she answered.
“I guess Thunder Point is working out?” Derek asked. “You seem happier.”
She just gave a nod, but she couldn’t help thinking about how much happier than she’d been in so long. There were a couple of very dark years until now, from the time she had been forced to acknowledge Derek’s cheating, through the extended, black process of freeing herself when all she’d really wanted was for him to love her more than anything, more than anyone. When she looked at him now, she could summon that pain and disappointment. Of course, if she tried, she could find that rage and humiliation again. But it was hard now. Landon was happy with Eve, hanging out with friends and the McCain family. And she had Cooper, who was safe.
“I’ve been thinking, Sarah,” Derek said. “Maybe over the holidays, we could get together. You and me and Landon. Last year wasn’t good. It was—”
She laughed at him before he could finish. “Our divorce was final three days before Christmas. No, Derek, we’re not going to spend holidays together.” She didn’t bother to tell him it had been the worst Christmas of her life, rivaled only by the Christmas right after her parents died.
He stepped into the room. He straightened. “I’d like to see Landon.”
“He has the same cell phone number he’s had for the past two years, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that he won’t be interested.”
“I thought maybe you’d tell him I might be calling.”
“Might? Might? You seriously want me to tell Landon his long-lost brother-in-law might be calling him?”
“I didn’t want to be long and lost,” he said. “It just seemed kinder to Landon not to put him in the middle of our problems.”
“Derek, no one put him there and he was in the middle of it. You know that. When you were unfaithful to the marriage, you were unfaithful to him, too.”
“We really need to have a conversation about—”
“No,” she said. “Just no.”
“Look, I think enough time has passed for us to have a conversation, maybe mend some fences.”
“We’re not going to talk about this here. This is work.”
“Will you have dinner with me? Meet me for a drink?” he asked. “Sometime between now and Christmas?”
“Absolutely not,” she said, standing. She briefly remembered how attractive and sexy she’d once found him. He had been irresistible. If she’d known about his little problem with monogamy, she not only wouldn’t have married him, she would never have gone on a date with him. “We weren’t right for each other, we ended it as well as we could, it’s over. Landon is getting his confidence back and seems happy. Let’s just try to be professional.”
“Sarah, I heard through the grapevine that I’m getting orders. Is that your doing?”
“My doing?” she asked, stunned. Then she laughed. “Derek, if I could work a deal like that, I’d have done it a year and a half ago! Where are you going?”
“Kodiak,” he said, completely glum.
“Son of a bitch,” she muttered. He didn’t want to go. She knew he didn’t like to be cold, to sleep in daylight, to be challenged too much. She’d give just about anything to be reassigned to Kodiak, to the Bering Sea.
“I think I’ll be out of here in a few months or less. I want to be friends, to see Landon, to—”
She came around her desk. She was shaking her head. “You’re way too late, Derek. You’d have to unscrew a whole bunch of women, to start with. And you never said goodbye to Landon—he’s not feeling real brotherly toward you. In fact, he’s pretty pissed, and not just because of what you did to me. You left him, too.”
“Come on, you didn’t exactly make me feel welcome.”
“Oh, sorry,” she said sarcastically. “I’m not going to discuss this with you, especially not here. No dinner, no drink, and I don’t give a shit about your fences. You made your choice. Your fences are all beyond repair.”
“Sarah,” he said. “You have influence. People like you, respect you. Can you get me out of Kodiak?”
“I’d take it off your hands in a second if I could. But I have commitments. I’m determined that Landon will graduate from his current high school.”
He stared at her for a long moment. “Oh, man, I missed all the signals!” he said suddenly. Then he laughed. “You’ve been smiling lately—you’ve been less mean. You’re in a relationship!”
She didn’t flinch. “Last count, you’re in twenty relationships. Derek, I am so done with you. If you’re ready to take over, I’ll leave for the day. My brother is waiting for me.”
But he wasn’t done laughing. “Holy crap, I didn’t think it would ever happen—I know that look! Someone’s got you all softened up. Sarah’s getting laid!”
She got right in his face, put her palm against his chest and said, “I just thought of a way to keep you out of Kodiak. Sexual harassment charges and court martial. That sound better than the Bering Sea?”
“Come on, Sarah. What’s a little teasing between friends?” he asked.
She walked away from him, leaving everything on her desk. She went to the locker room to change out of her flight suit. Using her cell phone from there, she called the rescue diver on her team. “Paul, do me a favor. Keep me out of prison. Occupy Stiles. He’s giving me shit and I want to make a clean getaway before I kill him.”
“You bet, boss.”
She could count on Paul. She’d have to get his family some kind of nice Christmas basket.
She changed into her jeans, blouse, sweater, boots. She put on some makeup, something she never did before leaving the station. Suddenly she wondered, could Cooper be as insensitive and cruel as Derek? Because she felt about Cooper right now just as she had once felt about Derek and it scared her to death. She had laughed with Derek as much, as often. She had relied on him in almost the same way she relied on Cooper—as someone not just for her, but for Landon. And sex with Derek had been good.
But if she was honest, she had never really trusted Derek. She knew firsthand that he didn’t always keep his word, that he could lie easily, but she had dismissed these as minor flaws because they were never about issues that really mattered. He would tell a friend he’d completely forgotten he was going to help him move when, really, he had decided he’d rather watch the ball game. He would promise to be home right after work and be two hours late, but he had excuses that at least sounded believable. Sorry, babe, we got arguing about a few completely miscalled plays, the game was in overtime, we added a beer to the discussion—in which I was totally right, by the way—and before I knew it...
But it had been tough to ignore what happened the day they got married.
Are you at Susan’s house?
Susan’s? Why would I be at Susan’s?
I hear that dog—the one next door to her. The one that never shuts up.
What dog?
I heard it in the background.
I don’t hear anything. Sure it’s not somewhere you are?
I’m at the spa! And Susan isn’t!
Well, call her, Sarah. I’m about to walk out the door. I’ll see you at four. Stop going crazy. You’re just having nerves.
Aren’t you? Having nerves?
No, Sarah. I’m ready.
The one question Derek had never been able to answer—why in the world did he marry Sarah if he still acted like a single guy? Screwing around? “It’s not like I planned it. It just happened. And I don’t love her—I love you.”
So maybe she should thank Derek for showing her the light? Because without some of his most disastrous lies, betrayals and infidelities, she would have fallen in love with Cooper in just a few weeks. But she had learned. Boy, had she learned.
She slid into the blazer she was wearing to Thanksgiving dinner at the McCains’. And then the bell went off, followed by the intercom calling for a rescue team.
She had been leaving early, thanks to Derek, but at the sound, she was out of her clothes and back into her flight suit faster than lightning. She ran to the chopper.
“Suspected heart attack, fifty-seven-year-old male, on The Misty Morning. Sixty-foot sailing vessel, luxury Oyster, about twenty miles northwest. Here are your coordinates,” the crew chief said. “Ready?”
“Ready,” she said. “We did the preflight checklist and gassed her up earlier. Paul finished the inventory. Is our guy conscious?”
“So far. Want to wait for a doctor?”
“We stand a better chance of bringing him in than waiting for the doc. Tell them to lower the sails. Paul? You have everything?” she yelled.
He was pulling on the bottom half of a wet suit. With all the rigging on a sailboat, she might have to put him in the water. “Got it,” he yelled back. Then, carrying his gear, he jogged to the helicopter.
Derek was pacing. She could tell he wanted on this flight, even though she would be pilot in command. Thankfully her copilot, sharp young Lieutenant JG, was on board, ready for their takeoff preflight. She was plugging in the coordinates. “We can eat up twenty miles in ten minutes.”
Copilot, maintenance crew chief, EMT all buckled in; takeoff preflight done. It was showtime.
“And we are airborne,” she said into the radio. “Schuman, remind me that if I’m ever going to have a heart attack, I want to have it on a sixty-foot yacht.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said.
Air traffic control gave her altitude and heading, and in two minutes, it was all water underneath them. Nine and a half minutes later, they had the vessel in sight. “We have a lot of rigging, but I can get you down on the deck, Paul. Harness up. Ready to go.”
“Aye, ma’am.”
“We can deploy the rescue basket after you assess.”
“Roger,” he said, sitting in the open door of the chopper.
With the crew chief managing the reel, Paul descended to the deck. He dropped the emergency bag before he released the harness. The passengers seemed to be gathered around the patient. It was maybe four minutes before Paul said into his radio, “We have a possible coronary, patient’s breathing on his own, severe chest pain. Let’s take him aboard, Commander. Have medical and transport standing by.”
The crew chief deployed the basket. Sarah maneuvered around the rigging and in just a few minutes the patient was aboard and they were headed in. Her mind was on nothing but flying until she was landing. It was then that she saw Derek again, through the open hangar doors, loitering around the debrief area. She wondered why he took so much pleasure in screwing with her head? Was it because she outranked him? Because she had caught him in his lies and thrown him out? Why didn’t he take the high road, realize he’d tortured her enough and make himself invisible? Or at least a little less obvious?
The ambulance crew rushed forward with a stretcher and she shut down the helicopter. “Debrief in five,” she said. “Then if we’re lucky, we’re headed out for the rest of the day.”
There was paperwork to file after a rescue, a crew debrief, but Sarah took a moment to text Landon. Had to fly; rescue mission. Don’t wait for me. Tell everyone to eat.
He texted back: Everyone okay?
So far, she responded.