Eighteen
Mac was not in charge of the investigation surrounding the battery domestic at the Morrisons’ or the possible homicide of Ben Bailey, but he knew what was happening. He was allowed to observe interviews and look at evidence in the closed case. At the time Ben Bailey died, neither the Morrison family nor Jag Morrison and his teenage friends were even on the radar. And Ben’s injuries were consistent with a fall. There was even a mark where he theoretically hit his head on the wooden stair rail.
The investigation was proving interesting, but nothing had led to a new conclusion yet. Since Cooper was leaving town to visit family, Mac borrowed Ben’s old laptop.
“I didn’t find anything or I would’ve told you.”
“I know, but I want to take a look, if you don’t mind. And if it’s okay, I’d like to borrow that Rhino of yours.”
Cooper lifted one brow in question.
“Just want to see how it handles on the beach, if you don’t mind.”
“Thinking of getting one?”
“It’s possible,” he said with a shrug, although that was the furthest thing from his mind. What really occupied him these days was Gina dating their newest resident, the doctor. Mac had no reason to dislike Scott Grant, except the thought of Gina spending time with him and kissing him really did a number on his head. He couldn’t be mad, though. It was his own damn fault.
The one great thing about winter in Oregon was that sunset was early. After dinner on Sunday, he asked Lou if she’d be home for the rest of the evening.
“Yes,” she said. “Where are you going?”
He struggled with what to say. In the end, he just said, “Bunco.”
“Ah,” she said. “Finally.”
He drove out to Coop’s, loaded a couple of things in the Rhino, revved it up and took it back across the deserted beach, straight to Gina’s house. Ashley answered the door.
“Hey, Ash,” he said. “Can your mother come out and play?”
“Mom!” she yelled. “It’s Mac.”
Gina came to the door with a look of confusion on her face. Clearly he was the last person she expected. Maybe last night’s sushi date was so successful she was expecting the doctor. “You busy?” he asked.
“Well, that’s a matter of opinion. I was ironing.”
“Can you take a break? Go for a ride?” He turned, throwing an arm toward the Rhino, which looked like a baby Jeep.
“Mac, did you buy an ATV?”
“Nah, it’s Cooper’s. I have to say, it’s pretty slick. It’s kind of cold, though. Grab a jacket and I’ll give you a little demo ride.” She didn’t move right away. She just stared at him for a long moment. Behind her there was the noise of family—the TV, Carrie talking to Ashley, the clinking around of dishes being loaded into the dishwasher. He could smell some kind of good meal. Having a cook in the house must be nice, he thought. “Come on, Gina. The moon is huge.”
She still looked a little confused, but she reached for a jacket and hollered into the house that she was going out for a while. Then she went with him, bundled up and fastened her seat belt for the ride. He took her down the street and across the beach. There was no one out there tonight, which Mac found odd. A moon like this tended to draw people, but it was Sunday night and work started early.
“Oh, God,” she said as they traveled across the beach, looking at the moon. “It’s as beautiful as I’ve ever seen it.”
“Yeah, really lights up the place. As it rises, it’s going to lose all its punch, but we have a little while to enjoy it.” He stopped the Rhino in the middle of the beach, right beside the campfire he’d set up on his way to pick her up. She sat in the Rhino and watched as he lit the fire; having a Duraflame made it easy.
Then he went to the back of the ATV and pulled out a couple of aluminum-and-mesh beach chairs and a blanket, setting them up so they could look at the bay and the moon over the fire. He put the chairs close, then motioned for her to get out of the Rhino. She went to one of the chairs.
“You really thought this through.”
“Not the setting so much. When I saw the moon last night, you were having sushi with the doctor.” He pulled two bottles of beer from the back and held them up.
“It’s surprisingly good, sushi. Very chichi. But I’m not too adventurous. Scott will eat anything, even if it appears to wiggle.” She took a beer. “Thanks.”
He sat down in the beach chair next to her, opened both their beers and took a bolstering slug of his. “About Scott,” he began. “How much do you like him?”
“I like him very much,” she said. “He seems to be a terrific guy.”
“Hmm. Like him a lot, huh?”
“I said I did. Now what’s this about?”
He spread the blanket over them. “I can admit it...that kind of threw me, you going on dates. We’ve been sitting next to each other at high school football games, basketball games, hockey games, baseball games for years. I never thought you were interested in anyone.”
“Oh, didn’t you?” she asked.
“We even kissed once.”
“Twice,” she said. “And the next day you pronounced it a very bad idea. And said that it shouldn’t happen again.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve never been accused of being smooth.”
“How’d you get some high school cheerleader knocked up if you didn’t have some moves?” she asked with laughter in her voice.
“Ah, hell, I think she had all the moves. I was just a horny dumb ox who couldn’t think at all. Which is why I really wanted to think where you were concerned.” He turned to look at her. “I had a plan, Gina. I thought once our girls got closer to college, we’d probably start seeing each other as more than just neighbors.”
“Really?” she asked. She took a sip of her beer. “I didn’t get the memo.”
He laughed at her. “I don’t want to get in the way of anything you feel serious about, but if I’m not too late...”
“What? If you’re not too late, what?”
“I don’t want you with another man, Gina.” He pulled her a little closer. “You’re not just a friend and neighbor to me. I’ve had really strong feelings for you for years. I was just afraid of acting. If I let you down, I’d never forgive myself.”
“Let me down, how?”
“Wow,” he said, running a hand over his head. “I think you’re going to be good at this counseling shit. If we were in a real relationship, a man/woman relationship, while our girls are best friends and if I somehow screwed it up—if it didn’t work out, if there was fighting and crying and a nasty, painful breakup, if the girls’ friendship was hurt...” He lifted her chin to look into her pretty eyes. “I didn’t want to start anything I couldn’t control, couldn’t see to the end. I couldn’t stand the idea of you being unhappy with me.”
“The way Cee Jay was unhappy with you?”
“Well...yes.” He shook his head. “She was unhappy from day one. She thought marriage was going to be some fairy tale. She thought it would make everything in her life work out, finally. But I was a scared kid, working day and night to keep us in out of the rain. And she was pregnant half the time, sick as a dog. There wasn’t anything fun about it, it was horrible. And it was misery for just over six years. Then she left. Gina, I can’t watch another woman go through that, and all because of me.”
She couldn’t help it, she laughed at him, but softly, and she touched his cheek tenderly. “You’re a very sweet man and I adore you, but you’re not afraid of letting me down. You’re afraid you’ll let yourself love me and I’ll leave you.”
His eyes grew round for a second. “I am?”
She nodded. “If you stop and think for two seconds, you know how I feel about you and how you feel about me. We’ve been best friends for years. But, Mac, I am goddamn sick and tired of being just your friend. And I’m tired of being alone. If I have to move on—”
He let out a heavy breath and put both his arms around her. “Me, too, Gina. Me, too. Moving on isn’t what I have in mind. It’s more like moving forward.”
“If you kiss me and hold me and tempt me and then tell me it’s all a mistake one more time, I’m going to grab that little pistol you think no one knows you carry on your ankle and just put you out of your misery. Am I clear?”
He laughed. “I might be better off.” He leaned toward her and carefully kissed her, hanging on to his beer. “It’s going to be dicey, you know.”
“What?”
“Having a relationship. When was the last time you were alone with a man? Really alone?”
“I don’t know,” she said, snuggling into him. “It might be fun. Like being teenagers again. Sneaking around. Looking for a place to get alone. Sex in scary places.”
He leaned back and, with a facetious grin, said, “Sex?”
She whacked him on the arm. “Seriously, tell me right now if there’s no sex involved in this proposition, because I’ll be the one backing out. I can’t remember when I last had sex. It’s been a long time. I might not remember how.”
“Ooh,” he said, shifting in his seat a little. “I’d suggest a reentry program right here, right now, but people have all these cell phones taking pictures. That’s all I need.”
She giggled.
“What about Scott? Is this going to create a problem?”
“Mac, all Scott wants is someone to talk to. He’d like to date again, get to know some women, explore whether the love of his life is really the last love of his life and he’s done now. He spent our two dates talking about his late wife. He lost her less than twenty-four hours after his three-year-old daughter’s birth. He’s still grieving. But he’s ready to move on and I’m sure he asked me out because I’m safe. Because he had some sense that I would listen to him.”
“Gina, honey, I think you have this counseling thing pegged.”
“And I think Scott’s a good man who’s going to be a friend. He’s kind. He’s generous. He has a mother and mother-in-law who are driving him batshit crazy and that’s one of the reasons he moved here.”
Mac chuckled. “Does he need one old-maid aunt to add to that cast?”
She nuzzled into the crook of his neck. “You smell good.”
“I used that girlie shower gel Lou bought me for Christmas. I figured I had one shot at this.”
“You waited so long,” she told him.
“Not on purpose. I wish to hell I had more to offer. I’m a cop on a low salary with three kids and an aunt. I’m looking at braces on two more mouths and three college educations. Gina, I’d really like to take you places, be alone with you, court you, but honestly, it’s going to be hard.”
“I guess we’ll make out on the beach a lot,” she said, not the least concerned. “Have you ever fantasized about doing it in the Sheriff’s Department SUV?”
“No!” he barked, making her laugh. “You know I’m too straight and narrow for that.”
She looked up. “That big moon just isn’t going away.”
“Are you warm enough?”
She put down her beer beside her chair, wrapped her arms around his neck and said, “I could be warmer.”
He pulled her close and covered her mouth in a hot, deep kiss. She opened her lips for him and let him in and he felt like he’d gone straight to another planet. Everything inside him was on alert. He plunged long fingers into her blond hair and held her head in his hands, moving her a little this way, a little that way, deepening the kiss. She moaned beneath his lips and he let out a growl. He moved over her mouth for long seconds that stretched into minutes.
“God, you taste good,” he whispered. “So this is why I worried about kissing you. I’m hard.”
“I’m that other thing,” she said. And he knew exactly what she meant. Soft where he was hard.
“I could do you right now, under the blanket, take ten years of stress off your life,” he offered.
She laughed at him. “Thanks for the selfless offer. I bet you don’t even have protection.”
“I do. I bought it in Coquille, too, so I wouldn’t find myself standing next to Cliff in the drugstore, buying condoms. I have one in my pocket. It’s the first time I’ve had a condom in my pocket in over ten years.”
“Maybe we can sneak away sometime this week, while everyone we live with is at work or school.”
“Tomorrow,” he said, kissing her some more.
“Ah, tomorrow. You call the sheriff and tell him you need a little personal time. I’ll tell Stu I need twenty minutes to run an errand.”
“Twenty minutes?” he asked.
“It’s been at least as long for me,” she said. “Mac, are you sure this time?”
He pulled back a little so he could look into her eyes. “Gina, I’ve been in love with you for years. I’m sorry about three years ago. You should’ve whacked me over the head with a frying pan.”
“I couldn’t, you see,” she said. “I thought it was possible you just wanted to be friends. As friends go, you’ve always been there for me. I couldn’t give that up.”
“I’ll always be your friend,” he said. “Your best friend, if you let me. But I want to be your lover, too.” He groaned and shifted in his chair. “Soon. I want to be that soon.” Then a look came over him. “Oh, Gina...I didn’t even court you! God, I should date you first before I beg you to take off your clothes!”
She pulled his mouth back on hers, kissing him soundly. “It’s okay, Mac. I’m ready. I’ve been ready for a long time.” She kissed him again. “And promise to use that sexy bodywash again.”
He leaned his forehead against hers. “Will you go steady with me?”
* * *
Less than twenty-four hours later, at two in the afternoon, a mere hour and a half before school let out, Gina was in Mac’s bed. They went to Mac’s house because his place wasn’t at the center of town like Gina’s. He was waiting for her when she pulled into his driveway and it took them roughly forty-five seconds to tear each other’s clothes off and fall onto the bed, exploring each other with hungry fingers and devouring each other with starving kisses.
And then she laughed.
“Okay, I’m a tough guy, but is this funny?” he asked.
“Hilarious. A week ago, we were driving our girls to practices, sitting next to each other at games, never so much as holding hands, and here we are, naked. About sixteen hours after you make up your mind that you can handle having a girlfriend.”
He ran a finger around the elastic of her panties. “Well, I’m naked, but you’re not there yet. And it only took sixteen hours because you wouldn’t do it under the blanket.”
“Those days of doing it under a blanket or in a backseat are long gone. I hope. Listen, if Aunt Lou has to sew a couple of buttons back on your uniform, promise not to tell her I was ripping your clothes off.”
He laughed then, too. “There are obviously things about Aunt Lou you don’t know. She’d probably give me a prize if she knew this was happening.”
“Just so we’re clear...”
“We should go slower,” he said.
She wiggled against him. “I think that ship has sailed.” She glanced over at his bedside clock. “We’re down to an hour and fifteen minutes.”
He must’ve taken that as invitation because he pulled off those panties and was poised above her, ready, stirring her up with the tip of his erection. Her response was to open her legs a little wider for him.
“Tell me what to do, honey,” he said. “Tell me where to touch you. How to touch you. Because the most important thing in my life right now is making you come hard.”
So she did as he asked, pulling him inside, directing his fingers to her clitoris. And he said, “Oh, God. Oh, my God.”
He stroked her and thrust exactly twice and she exploded, gripping him so tightly she hoped she didn’t actually hurt him. And what a blessing, because he followed her immediately, emitting a large groan and shuddering with his release. As he regained control he said, “We’ll never get work making porn films.”
She held him close, trying to breathe evenly.
“I love you,” he said. “I love you, baby. I’ve loved you a long time.”
And she cried. Laughing one minute, crying the next.
“Honey?” he asked, brushing her hair back.
She tried to cover her face because she was mortified. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “So emotional. I never thought I’d cry.” But tears ran from her eyes into her hair.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart? Was I too rough? Did I hurt you?”
“No, Mac, no. I...” She needed a few moments to compose herself. “I’m sorry, it was just that...I thought I might never have this in my life.”
“Been a long time, huh, baby?”
“Ha.” She sniffed. “This is the first time, Mac. There have only been two guys in my life—Ashley’s father, who only said he loved me to get in my pants when I was all of fifteen and one other guy I dated for a little while, but we both knew immediately we weren’t right for each other. I’ve never had a man I loved like this. God, I wondered if I ever would.”
He wiped the tears from her cheeks, smiled and held her close. “You have one now.”
“Everyone will know,” she said.
“It’s that kind of town. Will that bother you?” he asked.
She shook her head. “I got Deputy Yummy Pants.”
“Oh, so you want to add spanking to this tryst,” he said. “Who knew you were kinky...”
“All these girls and women want you, and you really want me?” she asked.
He nodded and brushed back her hair again. “Because you’re the best.”
* * *
Mac was resting in his quiet room, a Lab on each side of his chair, fire lit, his feet up and a book in his lap. A book he wasn’t reading. He was feeling more at peace than he had in years and just prayed his cell phone wouldn’t buzz or chime with some problem in town, because he just wanted to float on this cloud for a while. The afternoon was too short. He wanted more of Gina. He wanted to whisper to her, make love to her, feel her beautiful trim body close to his....
“Dad? Got a minute?” Eve asked.
He opened his eyes. “Sure,” he said, sitting up in the recliner and closing the book that was little more than a prop anyway. “What’s up?”
She sat down on the sofa right across from him. “Ashley called. She said you and her mom...” She bit her lower lip.
“What, Eve?”
“She said you and Gina are now going together. Boyfriend and girlfriend.”
“Ah,” he said.
Well, one of the things they’d talked about before getting back into clothes was that their families shouldn’t be the last to know. But also that they didn’t need to know everything.
“I guess that’s right,” he said. “I think that’s been coming a long time. Gina and I have been really close for years. We decided if we’re honest, we’re more than friends.”
“What does that mean, exactly? More than friends?” she asked.
“It means we like each other more romantically than just neighbors. Kind of like Landon isn’t just a friend, he’s your boyfriend.”
“Are you sleeping together? Having sex?”
He actually felt his cheeks get hot, but he’d be damned if he’d cave in to a sixteen-year-old girl. He valiantly held his ground. “Are you sleeping with Landon? Having sex?”
“Dad!”
“What?” he asked.
“Of course not! But I’m sixteen and we’ve only known each other since school started. You’re thirty-six and—”
At least she didn’t say she’d had sex years ago. “And?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow.
“And I don’t think you’ve ever had a girlfriend! Or even gone on dates.”
He laughed a little. “You’re right, Eve. But Gina and I have been friends for years, know each other very well, and I think she’s a good woman. I hope to start taking her on dates. Is there a problem?”
“Well, how are Ash and I supposed to act with this new thing going on?”
He shot her a perplexed look. “Same as always?”
“But it’s weird!”
He leaned back and put his feet up. He tried not to laugh. “You’ll get used to it.”
“And what if you get married and divorced?” she asked.
He sat up straight again. “Oh, for God’s sake, Eve! Can we go out on two dates before you have us married and divorced?”
“Well? What if?”
“By the time all that can happen, you’ll probably have already had your own marriage and divorce!” he blurted.
“That is not funny!”
“I thought it was kind of funny,” he grumbled. “I’m just saying, aside from the fact that I hope to spend a little more time with Gina, there are no plans in the works to change the lives of everyone in our families.” He snorted. “You’d think a person could get a little support around here.”
“I just think it’s weird,” she said. “And I bet you’re having sex!”
“I bet you’re not going to find me willing to discuss my sex life with you in this lifetime,” he snapped back.
“You mean you have a sex life?” she asked.
“For the love of Christ,” he muttered. “Lou! Where’s your aunt Lou?”
“She’s watching Designing Women reruns in her bedroom,” Eve said. “Does she know?”
“I’m sure she does,” he said. “Listen, take it easy. I don’t see how my life or your life is going to change much if I’m dating Gina. We’ll still do all the school things together, I’ll still have coffee with her at the diner when I’m free, we’ll still have some holidays together, but I might get to hold her hand sometimes or put my arm around her or...”
“Or?” she asked, arching one judgmental brow at him.
“Or make out like rock stars, like you and Landon do! You know, if I’d given you this much static about dating someone, you would’ve gone ballistic! Why doesn’t anyone tell single fathers about raising teenage girls? What’s the matter with you? You love Gina!”
“I just don’t want our family to go through another big, horrible thing—moving, starting over, all that. Don’t you remember?”
God, he thought. She remembers?
“Of course I remember,” he said. “Honey, you were only six when your mom left and what you probably don’t remember is that she was very young and very unhappy. Gina’s no kid. She’s very stable and sensible. And she loves you. I’m sorry about your mom, but I did everything I could.”
Big tears welled up in her eyes, but didn’t fall. “I know,” she said.
Mac cursed himself. He could be an idiot on so many levels. It had never occurred to him that a relationship might frighten Eve, that she still had some residual trauma from losing her mother the way she did.
He got up, went to the couch, sat next to her and put an arm around her. “Listen, honey, you have nothing to worry about. Everything is going to be fine. Gina’s a good person, I’m a good person. Both of us put our kids first. Try to relax and enjoy seeing everyone happy. Maybe I finally found someone to sit in the truck with me while I spy on you kids on the beach, huh?”
She gave a little huff of laughter. “Kind of took me by surprise,” she said.
“I don’t know why. We’ve been best friends for years.”
“Yeah, best friends going nowhere. I never saw this coming.”
“Then you’re just about the only one. Word I got around town is that people were wondering what was taking me so long.” He gave her a squeeze and laughed. “I know we tend to disagree sometimes...wildly disagree sometimes. But you should know I’d never do anything that would risk your sense of security. Your needs have always come first, Eve. You, Ryan and Dee Dee—always first.” He shrugged. “But, angel, your old dad can use a little companionship, too.”
She leaned against him and said, “I guess.” He smiled to himself. She thought he was older than dirt. At thirty-six!
“Is Ash all worked up about this?”
“No. She thinks it’s very cool. She said if we play our cards right, we can be sisters. Real sisters.”
“Or, without playing any cards at all, you can be as close as sisters for as long as you want to.”
“I know that,” she said, snuggling closer.
He held his little girl for a while, remembering too well what she was like right after Cee Jay left, how she cried and wet the bed, how she rushed home from school every day to see if her mother had come home, how she stopped playing with the other kids on the playground but had an elaborate fantasy life in her bedroom with her dolls, playacting all kinds of complex scenarios about missing mothers. He took her to some counseling available through social services and she came around, adjusting to their strange life of a dad, three kids and aunt. He had to quit one of his jobs, move in with Lou, juggle a million things—but it worked. Finally there was no fighting, no angst, no crying.
And he got used to being lonely.
He didn’t want to be lonely anymore.
* * *
An hour later Lou passed through the living room holding a cup of tea. “It’s going to require a short period of adjustment. It’ll be fine.”
“Either you heard or she told you,” he said.
“A little of both,” she said with a shrug. “I’m glad you and Gina are being honest. I can say, from experience, keeping secrets really never works.”
“Lou, do I need to talk to her about sex?”
“Oh, for the love of God! Really, Mac, whether you’re having sex is none of her—”
“Not that, Lou, not that. She’s sixteen. She’s beautiful. She’s got a boyfriend. We’ve had some talks but I don’t want Eve at risk.” He rubbed his chin. “It’s not my idea of a good time, but I can do it.”
She smiled at him. “Gotcha covered, Yummy.” He frowned darkly and she sat on the couch. “Eve and I have had many talks. She understands her parents were hot to trot and got started a little too young and even though the result was three beautiful children, too young can be too hard and can end badly. I told her if she ever wants to visit my gynecologist, a very kind and discreet woman, I will make an appointment, no questions asked. Eve’s a very smart girl and she has high standards.”
“I don’t mean to just leave those kinds of things with you, Lou.”
“I know. But I know how kids think, probably better than you do. And girls usually feel more comfortable talking to women. But by all means, if you want to have that discussion...”
“I might,” he said. “I might. Not right away, though. Right now she’s a little freaked-out to think of me dating her best friend’s mother.”
“Listen, Mac, this is a good problem. Eve will be fine. Just take a breather, huh? Try and enjoy life a little. Don’t overthink this and mess up a good thing. You’ve put your life on hold for a lot of years and you have my admiration. But really, any longer and you’d become a stoic.”