Nineteen
Cooper had a good visit with his family. He knew he had inconvenienced them by showing up two weeks before Christmas when everyone was very busy. But his three sisters, their husbands, two nieces and two nephews managed to coordinate a number of short visits here and there, and two big family meals at his parents’ house. When it was just the adults gathered around the table after dinner, he told them about the bait shop and the renovation he was undertaking so he could sell. He didn’t say how much land was attached.
Then he told them he’d been seeing someone.
It wasn’t at that precise moment that he realized the reality of his situation with Sarah, but that nudged him ever closer to the truth. He privately acknowledged that, like a teenage boy, he had to talk to her every day. He texted her little snippets and phoned her at night. The only time she didn’t answer his call was when she was flying, and then she called him back.
He needed her.
When he got back to Thunder Point he was already up to speed on the local gossip. The recent romantic development between Mac and Gina had Sarah’s attention, but Cooper had been more interested in the ongoing situation with the Morrison family. From rumor, it sounded like that family had imploded, leaving behind an empty house surrounded by an ostentatious fence. Foreclosed, the rumor went.
Sarah was working when Cooper got back, so he checked in with the deputy. When he stopped in the small, storefront office, Mac was on the phone, so he waited patiently by the door. He noticed Ben’s old laptop sitting on the desk. Then the deputy put down the phone and stood up.
“Welcome back,” he said, smiling and sticking out his hand.
“So, I turn my back for five minutes and you decide to improve on your love life,” Cooper said, extending his own hand.
“Well hell, they don’t call me speedy for nothing.”
Cooper let out a laugh. “They call you—”
Mac put up a hand. “Friends don’t let friends say dangerous things.”
Cooper grinned. “It’s good to be back. Did you run off the Morrison clan?”
“I’d love to take credit for that, but I think they just came to the end of the line. It’s been no secret that business hasn’t been so good for brokers and developers around the state but I think the consensus was that Puck had more money than he knew what to do with and was untouched by the recession. Puck left first. He’s back in Eugene. His sons by his first marriage might’ve taken him in. Then Mrs. Morrison and Jag moved on.”
“So the town bully isn’t in town anymore?” Cooper asked.
“The only thing I can really tell you about that is that he was instructed to make amends to Landon in order to get back into Thunder Point High and he refused, so his suspension turned into an expulsion. That doesn’t mean he isn’t around. Continued vigilance is recommended.”
“Did he get into any trouble over that domestic? Hitting his dad?” Cooper asked.
“His court date is coming up. This will be his second offense and while he might not get the punishment he deserves, it’s pretty damn clear he’s a violent kid. And his badass self is almost eighteen. I don’t think the court is going to pamper him. And the next time he pulls something, it’s going to be bleak for him.”
“Well, that’s something, I guess,” Cooper said. “Jesus, what’s the matter with that imbecile? He must have grown up with ten times what most of the other kids around here have.”
“Maybe that’s what’s the matter with him,” Mac said. “I spend a lot of time feeling rotten that I can’t give my kids more. Maybe I should rethink all that guilt. Maybe they’re better off. At least they’re not ungrateful little bastards.” Then he laughed. “It takes so little to make them happy. I’m going to work on remembering that.”
“You have good kids, Mac,” Cooper said. He nodded toward the laptop. “Find anything on there?”
“I gave it to a forensic IT unit the department uses and they went through it and made a copy of the hard drive. I hope you gave permission for that because I said you did.”
“Sure. But why didn’t you do that in the first place?”
He shook his head. “Homicide and the coroner and the assistant D.A. went through the bait shop, and there was a postmortem. There was no evidence of foul play.” He shrugged. “And I have no idea if they found anything on the laptop, but their team can look at even the deleted and destroyed material. They’re spooky.” He lifted the laptop and opened it. “I did find something. I wondered if you noticed it, too.”
He leaned a hip on the desk, balanced the laptop on his thigh and fired it up. He opened it and scrolled through email. It took a few minutes and he muttered, “Getting there...” Then he said, “Ah! Got it. He saved this. Do you remember this? It’s four years old and might explain a few things about this arrangement you have with your friend’s bait shop.”
He turned the laptop around and handed it to Cooper.
I think I’ve had about enough of this place. Time to head out and find something new. I think I’d rather have an eagle’s nest than a lot of corporate bullshit. Coop
Wandering yet again?
That seems to be my MO. I get restless real easy.
But don’t they pay you a lot of money? Why not just do the job for a few more years for the money? Find a place to settle down. They give you bonuses. Trust me, the eagles aren’t real big on bonuses! Ben
I don’t know. Chasing money for the sake of money... It’s soulless. There’s got to be more to life than that. Cooper
* * *
Cooper looked up at Mac. “He could’ve had tons of money if he’d sold some land. Even a little piece of it.”
“I don’t think that was the point of the email. We all knew Ben wasn’t much for chasing money. Did you know there’s at least one eagle’s nest out there on the point?”
“I’ve seen the eagles, and I remember Ben telling me he had a nest—he was proud of that. They’re built in those rocky precipices out there. But I went all the way out to the point and looked over the edge, and I couldn’t see anything—it’s all rocky all the way down to the water.”
“And I don’t think you can get a boat up close. Those waves against the rocks will take you out. But I think maybe Ben saved this email because of the thing about money. It’s clear that money isn’t the only thing that drives you.”
“Well now, we don’t know that for sure yet,” Cooper said with a laugh. “That’s easier to say when you have enough to live on forever. And I don’t. Believe me.” He closed the laptop. “So, you’re done with this?”
“It’s all yours. Want a cup of coffee?”
“That would be good. Across the street?”
“It doesn’t look too busy over there,” Mac said.
Cooper looked at his watch. “I have a little time. I want to run by the store. I’m cooking for Sarah and Landon tonight.”
“Landon? Landon who?” Mac asked with a laugh. “You mean that quarterback who lives at my house now?”
* * *
Cooper rarely made any kind of a big deal over Christmas. Sometimes he went back to Albuquerque to spend time with the family, but he gave gift cards, not a lot of fussy presents. Those times he had girlfriends, he knew exactly what to give them—jewelry. The seriousness of the girlfriend determined the level of jewelry. For a girl you’re dating but not deeply involved with, a spa package or gift certificate. In years past, he always skipped the company party. Occasionally coworkers had informal gatherings he sometimes attended. Hanging out with fellow pilots could be entertaining.
In Thunder Point it was a little different. First of all, people seemed to take turns entertaining, but nothing flashy. Lou and Mac had an open house and invited their local friends, who turned out to be half the town. Women wore Christmas sweaters with Santa or reindeer on them, men came in green-and-red sweaters and wool pants as opposed to jeans. For the first time in his life, Cooper asked a woman to dress him. He knew better than to show up in one of his hand-me-down suits or his jeans.
Sarah picked through his closet, pulled out some dark pants, a starched shirt, no tie, taupe V-neck sweater and the black shoes he almost never wore. “This will work,” she said.
Carrie and Gina James had a gathering with the same theme. Their party featured meatballs, hot dips, cookies, fancy little cakes, and some outstanding bite-size crab and Parmesan hors d’oeuvres.
“If you eat any more of those, you’re going to make yourself sick,” Sarah said.
“I can’t stop,” he said.
Stu held his party at the diner one night, then Cliff had a free happy hour at Cliffhanger’s with punch for the younger set. Again, there were a lot of Christmas sweaters and pressed black pants. Cooper made every event and, to his surprise, had a wonderful time. Well, except maybe for a while at Cliffhanger’s when Ray Anne had a little too much to drink and Cooper drove her home. He had to lift her into his truck. She made a drunken suggestion that they “do it” just for the Christmas spirit and when he said that wouldn’t work for him, she accepted that and said, “Well, then at least sign those agent papers for me, Hank!”
He hurried back to Cliff’s so no one would assume...
The Coast Guard did not sleep on holidays, so Sarah couldn’t make all the parties, but she hit a few. For Cooper, it was nice to have someone as classy and sweet as Sarah on his arm. But come Christmas Eve, she was scheduled to work. She’d have to be at the Coast Guard station, ready to fly if anyone needed rescue.
“It won’t be the first time Landon and I had to adjust for holidays. Maybe the McCains will include him. I get off Christmas morning, so I’ll be around for that.”
“Let me,” Cooper said.
“Let you what?”
“I’ll stay at your house Christmas Eve. If he has somewhere to go, fine. I’ll be there when he gets home. Then we’ll have Christmas morning together.”
“Oh, I don’t know.”
“Does it make you nervous to have me over on Christmas morning?” he asked her. “Because I can be useful. I know how to cook. I know how to clean up better.”
“You know, it’s that whole family thing. I worry about Landon thinking of himself as a part of a relationship, the way he did with Derek. He’s only sixteen. He doesn’t realize that we’re close but not serious.”
Cooper laughed at her. “Don’t worry, Sarah. Landon hasn’t thought about anyone but Eve in weeks.”
“I guess that’s right,” she said, laughing with him.
So Cooper and Landon both went to the McCains for Christmas Eve where they ate seafood fresh from the marina and played poker until midnight. Eve pouted because she’d rather have had Landon’s undivided attention, Mac roared his agony at drawing such bad cards, Cooper laughed his ass off and Lou took it all home.
And then came Christmas morning.
Bachelors like Cooper enjoyed holidays and were not overly sentimental about them. Sarah was somewhere between a spa package girlfriend and a jewelry girlfriend, mostly because she was so reluctant to let herself get involved. He understood a lot of this had to do with Landon. To that end, he had selected the perfect presents for both of them.
Early Christmas morning, after spending a night on Sarah’s couch, he got up, fed the dog, wrote Landon a note and said he was running an errand and would be right back. He thought the kid would probably sleep late. In fact, Sarah might get home and read the note before Cooper got back.
He drove down the road to the beach, but he stopped at the marina. The boats were firing up. It was barely sunrise. It looked like a lot of the fishermen and a few crabbers were going out on Christmas morning. It hit him suddenly, these people had no choice. He’d known that, of course, but hadn’t given it so much thought. He didn’t know any of the men well and in fact the ones he’d met were the merest of acquaintances. He knew, however, that most of them worked their fathers’ and grandfathers’ and brothers’ boats. Maybe they loved their work, but even if they didn’t, it was their means of living.
But Cooper, always a loner, had had choices. He had never had to make long-term commitments or stay in jobs that weren’t satisfying. All he had to do was take care of himself.
Watching those boats go out early Christmas morning, he felt a sense of envy. People depended on those men. They had families to take care of. He’d almost married twice and yet had never felt that sense of responsibility.
From where he sat in his truck, he could see the toy hauler. He’d lived in apartments, on a boat for two years, in his trailer—anything that he could uproot quickly and easily.
He put the truck in gear and headed across the beach. Inside the shed, along with Ben’s old truck and RZR 800—his Razor—were two top-of-the-line paddleboards, oars and two boxes. He’d cleaned up and gassed Ben’s Razor, then he laid the boards across the back where a cooler might sit and fastened them in. The boxes went in the seat next to the driver. He laughed at himself—expert wrapper, he was not. There was a wide, red ribbon around each board and the plain white boxes had the identical ribbon. No paper, no froufrous, as his mom called them. He might be able to wear the hell out of a hand-me-down suit and buy some real top-notch toys, but he just was not good with wrapping presents.
He thought, however, that Landon was going to go nuts for this one. And Sarah, being a beach girl at heart, would probably be happy, too. Nothing had ever felt better.
He drove the Razor across the beach and up to Sarah’s house. Her SUV was parked in the driveway, so he pulled up behind it. In the kitchen was Sarah, still in her flight suit but in her stocking feet.
“Hey, thanks for making coffee,” she said, stirring cream and sugar into a cup. “I’m going to need a nap today. We went out last night. Some folks on a Christmas Eve yacht ride got in a little trouble with some rocks. And booze, I’m thinking. What did you guys do?”
“Poker,” he said, taking the coffee from her hands and pulling her against him for a delicious morning kiss. He went after her mouth like a starving man and realized that he wanted to wake up like that every morning.
When he let go of her, she laughed. “Poker? Are you corrupting my brother?”
“Shit, he had things to teach me. But Lou took the pot.”
“Good for her. How about some breakfast? I’m all stocked up—eggs, sausage, bacon, sweet rolls. We can do omelets or take ’em straight.”
“I bet you’re starving,” he said. “Can you wait fifteen minutes if I cook?”
“Sure, but I don’t want you stuck with cooking for the whole day. You already promised dinner.”
“Dinner’s easy. Hell, breakfast is easy. Go wake up Landon—I have something for him. For you, too.”
“Now, we talked about this. We’re not doing a big deal for presents. Just a little something, that’s all. Nothing big. You agreed.”
“Sarah, don’t start complaining until you know if you have something to complain about. Get the kid. He’s had enough sleep—he wiped me out last night.”
She patted his cheek. “All right, but you better have kept your word.”
Okay, he thought. So she’ll lecture him a little bit later. He was a big boy, he could deal with that.
Landon stumbled out of his bedroom in a pair of sweats, no shirt, bare feet, his hair all wonky and sticking up all over the place. Like a little kid, he rubbed his eyes. Like a kid with stubble on his cheeks. “What, Cooper?”
“I got you and Sarah a Christmas present and it’s in the driveway.”
His eyes opened for that.
“Oh, if you’ve done anything crazy...” Sarah warned.
He slipped an arm around her waist. “Take it easy, it’s not what you think.” And they followed Landon outside.
The cold didn’t bother Landon at all, even in bare feet. The ribbons gave it away—he went straight to the boards. He yelped, “Woo-hoo! Sarah, look at this! Woo-hoo!”
She turned to look up at him. She smiled when she said, “Cooper, that’s too much.”
“I do what I want,” he said.
“You don’t follow directions very well.”
He gave her a squeeze. “I thought that was your favorite part.” To Landon he said, “By March, you’ll be out there on the bay.”
“Yeah!” he said, lifting one of the boards off the back of the Razor.
“There are two boxes in the front seat to put under the tree,” Cooper added. “And this,” he said, wrestling the keys from his pocket. “I’ll need a ride home later.”
“Huh?” Landon and Sarah said at the same time.
“It was Ben’s. I think he’d like it if you had it. It’s far from new, but it seems to be in good shape. I sure don’t need it and I’m not going to sell it. And here’s a tip—Rawley is good on engines and restoration if you need that. Let’s get those boxes.”
The boxes in the front seat of the Razor didn’t make it under the tree. Landon, a little beside himself, tore the ribbon off the top box, threw off the lid and held up a wet suit. “Holy crap!”
“Jesus,” Cooper muttered. “He’s completely out of control sometimes.”
She looked up at him and said, “What have you done?”
He turned her toward him. “I did what I thought might make a good Christmas for you and Landon. And it made me happier than anything I’ve done in a long time.”
* * *
Cooper had everything he wished for. He mixed up cheesy potatoes from the box, got his green bean casserole ready, rolls from Carrie’s deli were on the counter and the ham was on the counter, coming to room temperature for later. And to make an afternoon near perfection, Landon took his new/old RZR to the McCain household where he planned to give rides all afternoon. And so Cooper was able to exercise his greatest desire by sneaking into Sarah’s bedroom and curving around her small, sleeping form, pulling her close.
She turned in his arms and faced him, blinking open her eyes. “I bought you a sweater and you bought us a vehicle and a couple of paddleboards and wet suits worth many hundreds of dollars.”
“Best Christmas of my life,” he said, kissing her forehead.
“Best Christmas of Landon’s life, for sure.”
“He’s going to spend months praying for an early spring,” Cooper said.
“You’re getting too involved,” she said.
“You’re staying too afraid,” he pointed out. “It’s going to be okay, Sarah.”
“I hope so.”
“Trust me.”
A few days after Christmas, Sarah and Cooper met Mac and Gina for a nice dinner at Cliffhanger’s, their first official double date—no aunts, mothers, kids or dogs.
“I never thought I’d see the day,” Gina said.
“There certainly aren’t enough of them,” Sarah agreed.
“Well, listen, I realize this is very last-minute,” Gina said. “We’re having a New Year’s Eve thing at the house. It’s for the kids, really. It’s a way of keeping Eve and Ashley from doing something stupid with their stupid boyfriends, no offense, Sarah. They can invite a few friends, we’ll lay in some food and the chaperones can play poker or something. You’re invited, if you’re interested.”
Cooper grabbed Sarah’s hand under the table. He pulled her toward him and whispered in her ear. “Say no, I beg of you.”
She whispered back. “What’s my excuse?”
“Plans,” he said. “Just say no and I’ll make you come three times on New Year’s Eve. Three times.”
Her face went red as a tomato. She looked at their friends and said, “Um, Cooper has plans for me.”
As Cooper was taking her home, she said, “All right, Mr. Big Shot, what kind of plans do we have?”
“I don’t care,” he said. “Anything you want. I’ll put on my expensive hand-me-down suit and take you out somewhere special. Or we can throw a couple of pizzas in the oven and eat them naked. I just want you, by yourself, not a bunch of teenagers. And it’s not like I don’t like teenagers, it’s just that...you know...I want to make you scream my name a few times. That work for you?”
“I’ve never eaten pizza naked,” she told him.
That was good enough for him and for the next couple of days he could barely contain himself. He had come to a few conclusions and it was time to level with Sarah. That email Mac came across, that wasn’t about money or eagles. That was about stability. About roots. He envied people with responsibility; he wanted a stronger connection and wasn’t sure how that happened. Until now. Until Sarah.
She came to him for their private New Year’s Eve party. It was still early in the evening and the first thing he did, right after locking the door, was to peel her clothes off as he walked her to the bedroom, leaving a trail of them along the way. He thought he was very accomplished, kissing her as he undressed her and himself, landing them on the bed, almost naked, where he made fast work of what was left of her clothing. And his.
He kissed her whole body until she begged him to get inside her. He was feeling so sure of himself and so powerful he said, “I meant it. I can make you come three times if you want me to.”
“Once, for right now, should do the trick,” she told him.
He grabbed for the little foil package on his bedside table and said, “Anything you want, honey. Anything. Just tell me.”
“How about less talking and more doing.”
He took instruction well, covering her mouth in a powerful kiss that curled her toes and made her moan. It hadn’t taken any time at all to know her body, to respond to her needs and desires, to find out exactly how to satisfy her. He could tell whether she wanted it fast and hard or slow and drawn out...and he delivered. Once he was inside her body, he knew the way and he knew the sounds that signaled she was ready. And that she was there.
He held himself back until he felt her clench and spasm around him, then he waited her out and wouldn’t let himself go until she was complete. Sometimes when he emptied himself into her, it started a whole new orgasm for her. Like tonight. He held her tight, one arm under her shoulders, one large hand pressing her bottom against him, getting him deeper, his mouth on her mouth, claiming her.
“Aw, God,” he groaned. “God, Sarah,” he whispered.
And she ran fingers along the hair at his temples. “Cooper, one of these days I think you’re going to kill me.”
It took him a moment to catch his breath, but once he was in control again he said, “Sarah. Listen, Sarah. I love you.”
And she turned her face away.
Cooper couldn’t move. He was frozen in place, and he was still joined to her. He slowly touched the hair at her brow and gave them both a moment. Then with care, he rolled away from her, but he gathered her into his arms and pulled her close to him.
“Okay, Sarah, it’s time. Talk to me.”
She didn’t move except to slowly stroke his hand for a moment.
With a thumb and forefinger to her chin, he turned her back to look at him. “I think you better tell me what he did to you.”
“You know. He cheated.”
“Oh-ho,” he said on a humorless laugh, “I think there was more to it than that.”
“Okay, he cheated with the maid of honor on the day of the wedding.” His expression registered flat, in total disbelief. “Just when you think you’ve heard it all, right?”
He was speechless. The only thing that came to mind was What kind of man? And yet... “Sarah, you married him.”
“I did,” she said, giving a nod. “I suspected that day. I knew in my gut that very day, but he convinced me something that egregious couldn’t be true. I didn’t hear the truth until my ex-friend, my bridesmaid, decided to unburden herself a year later. And he came clean. He said he probably wasn’t cut out to be monogamous.”
“Aw, baby,” he said, pulling her closer. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. You’re guiltless.”
He realized she was pushing against him a bit, so he let her put a little space between them. “I think there’s more. I can’t imagine it, but I think there’s more.”
She lifted those large dark eyes to his. He could hear the tears in her voice, but she wouldn’t let herself cry. Her eyes didn’t even cloud with tears. “I loved him,” she said. “I really did.”
“You must have.”
She nodded. “Very much. It was completely crazy how much. From the second I saw him.”
Cooper frowned darkly. There was a great deal missing from this explanation and he was a little afraid to hear it, but he knew it better come out. “I want to know everything,” he said. “I want to understand this.”
She took a breath. “It feels very strange. We’re so...naked.”
“Better to keep from covering up, I think. You can trust me with it, Sarah.”
“I loved him,” she said again. “I met him at work. One look and I was attracted and then he asked me if I’d go out with him. Of course I’d go out with him—he was so hot, so sexy, so beautiful. But I had Landon, I explained. And he said, ‘Let’s all go out.’ He took Landon and me to a great restaurant. Then he went to watch Landon play football twice before we even had a private date together. Does any of this sound familiar?”
“Like us?” he asked.
She nodded. “Can you see why I’m not letting anything like that happen to me again? Derek even lavished Landon with gifts, went to every game, stayed at my house while I had to sit alert...”
“I don’t care,” he said. “I’m not him.” He lifted her chin with a finger. “Sarah, you know I’m nothing like him. Besides, you didn’t love me on sight.” He grinned lamely.
“Cooper, I was really just a kid when I lost my parents. I had a little brother to raise and he was so small, so vulnerable. I don’t mean to sound like a baby myself, but it was hard. Sometimes I was so isolated, so afraid I’d never get the hang of this—like a single mom, thrown into the deep end of the pool. And then along comes this man I thought was wonderful and just having him there for us, for the first time in so many years I thought we could be a real family. I thought maybe I’d have a normal life, after all. I was thirty the first time I had a glimpse of a normal life. I was sleeping with a man I loved. Not only was I in a stable relationship, so was Landon. We were finally safe. I started to have hopes and dreams for the first time since I was in college. I started to fantasize about a family of my own—not only a safe place for Landon to grow up and thrive, but maybe a child of my own someday. And I had that for a year, Cooper.”
“Sarah...”
“Cooper, I know how to lose a guy—I’ve had brief relationships here and there that didn’t make it and I survived, Landon and I survived. But this time I had dreams. He didn’t just let me down. He let Landon down, too. He didn’t just break my heart, Cooper. He killed all my dreams.” She shook her head. “I can’t go through that again.”
He looked into those dark, liquid eyes for a long moment. Then he pulled her closer and kissed her lightly. “You won’t have to.”
“I’m not taking that chance, you know. I’m not letting myself love anyone.”
“I understand,” he said. “I don’t blame you. But I’m not him.”
“I know, and it’s not your fault that you’re stuck with this. It’s his fault, the bastard. He probably screwed this up for you. I apologize. But that’s how it is.”