Chapter 15

 

Things are good. My life is all back to normal after that brief and embarrassing derailing I let Gabe take me on. Love and relationships are so overrated, and I’m happy with my bakery and my friends and my cousin. I don’t need anything else.

Did you believe that?

I almost did.

While life is okay, I’m still a little off. But I’m getting by just fine. The bakery is doing well, and although I was a little nervous about abandoning my business for the convention, it turns out my customers thought it was really cool. Many of my regulars talked to me about the convention and asked if I had fun and learned anything cool and new. I lied to all of them and told them it was a blast. Even though there was tons of informative stuff at the convention, I don’t think I’ll be going back next year. Too much baggage. Too many memories.

I would look into some small business events here in Texas, but Gabe might be at those, too. I think I’ll just stick to what I know—baking—and get all of my new business information through the internet from now on. It’s a Monday, and I’ve had another week to get over a certain guy. Things are a little slow at the bakery since it’s two in the evening, so the breakfast and lunch crowd is over, but I expect it’ll pick up soon. Livi is playing on the computer behind the front counter, looking up college classes online. Mason and I have both encouraged her idea of going back to college to finish what she started a few years ago. She wants to be a teacher and I think that’s so cool. I’ve told her to sign up for classes and we can work her schedule around her classes, because it’s way more important that she fulfills her dreams instead of working here with me, even though I’ll miss her. But she’s my best friend, so I know she’s not going anywhere anytime soon.

I lean against the front counter and stare lazily out the window on Main Street, watching some big biker dudes walk into Mason’s shop. Lone Star Cycles is the place he originally used to work at, until he bought it from the owner. The funny thing is that he still lets the former owner’s son act as manager, even though all the big decisions are Mason’s to make. Mason just doesn’t like the spotlight, and I think he also feels bad for the current manager, who would be lost without the motorcycle shop.

I’m lost in my thoughts when my phone buzzes. I glance over at it, not expecting much of anything since Livi is right here and Mason is working and they text me more than anyone else.

But it’s a new text from a number I don’t have saved as a contact. My heart leaps a little before I even open the message. It’s probably something stupid, like an automatic reminder text from a doctor’s appointment I forgot I had. But still my thoughts spin out of control wondering if maybe it’s from him. If somehow he figured out my number and wants to meet up again.

I unlock my phone and read the message.

 

Hey, is this Alexa?

 

Oh God. It’s totally Gabe. He found me, somehow, maybe through my business or something? I don’t know how, but he found me, and I am totally freaking out. All the feelings I’d been trying to get over come rushing back and I am a total mess. Gabe is messaging me. He finally sought me out. Maybe I wasn’t just some one night stand.

I take several deep breaths and glance over at Livi, who is still using the computer and totally unaware that I’m having a mental breakdown over here. I think about calling out to her and sharing this amazing news, but I don’t know what she’ll think. She’s been helping me get over Gabe, after all, and I haven’t talked about him in two weeks so she probably thinks I’m totally over it.

I decide to keep it to myself for now. My fingers shake as I type out a reply.

 

This is Alexa. Who is this? :)

 

I try to swallow, but my throat is dry. I reach over for my coffee, which had gone cold long ago, but I drink it anyway and listen to the thudding of my heart while I wait for him to reply.

 

This is Lee. Sorry it took me so long to message you. Work has been really busy, but I’m looking forward to seeing you again.

 

My heart stops. It drops right out from my chest and splatters on the floor. Heat flushes over my whole body, that’s how totally embarrassed I am right now. It wasn’t Gabe. It was Lee. My boring blind date who didn’t seem to like me very much. And now he’s “looking forward to seeing me again”… what even is that? Ugh.

I call Livi’s name and show her the text. I do not tell her how I thought it was Gabe at first.

“Aww, that’s sweet,” she says. “I mean, it took him long enough!”

“He didn’t really seem like he liked me,” I confess.

“He’s just shy,” she says. “I told you. I met him like ten times at Mason’s shop before he even talked to me. But once you get to know him, he’s a good guy.”

I take a deep breath. I know Livi wouldn’t lie to me and she’d only recommend a guy if she thinks he’s worth it.

“So… should I go out with him again?”

“Only if you want to,” Livi says, which is the most unhelpful answer ever. “If you don’t really like him then there’s no reason, ya know?”

I bite on my bottom lip and stare out the window again. “I don’t think I have had enough time to figure out if I like him or not. That one dinner wasn’t enough to make a decision. So maybe I should see him again?”

“It won’t hurt to get to know him. He really is great once he stops being so shy.”

I get what Livi is saying, and maybe she’s completely right, but it’s not very sexy to be told that a guy needs time to come out of his shell like some kind of scared turtle. What’s sexy is the way Gabe walked right up to me and talked like it was no big deal. Like he liked what he saw and wanted to get to know me, awkward first conversations be damned. That is sexy. I wish every man was confident like that, but I guess that’s too big of a wish to make. If Lee is as great as Livi thinks he is, then maybe he’ll make a good boyfriend. He was cute after all, so at least there’s some attraction there.

I stare at my phone and then type out a reply.

 

I look forward to seeing you again too.

 

***

 

Later, I’m at home pretending to have a migraine because Livi and Mason wanted me to go with them for margaritas at our favorite Mexican place, Del Pablo’s. I had to get out of it somehow, so I faked a migraine and then slumped on my couch where I’ve remained for the last few hours.

Lee and I set up a coffee date over text, and I’m not even excited about it. Here I am, with a cute guy who likes me, and I’m not freaking out over choosing the perfect outfit to wear, or how I’ll do my makeup, or anything normal like when I’m really exited to go out with a guy. This is just a date. Nothing special. Nothing exciting.

And this sucks, because I want to be excited about something.

A surge of adrenaline rushes through me, lighting up my insides as I let myself think back to Gabe, even though I shouldn’t. God, he was so sexy. So masculine and handsome and well-versed in making out. His hands knew where to go and his lips knew how fast and slow to move, and how to alternate the methods to make sure our kissing never got boring. I don’t think anything could be boring with Gabe.

He was perfect.

And now here I am, turned on to the max, and staring at my tablet wondering if I should make the impossible search again. If only I could remember the business name on his nametag, then I’d have a better chance of finding him. But I was so caught up in the thrill of my sexy hotel adventure that I didn’t even think to memorize his last name. I don’t even know where my own nametag went. I must have thrown it away or something.

I get up and grab a glass of wine and down half of it in one gulp. If I’m being honest, I want to grab my vibrator and jump into bed and relive that night again, but instead I decide to do something productive with my time.

Maybe it’s the thought of my upcoming date with Lee that has me so hooked on Gabe after weeks of trying to forget him. Regardless, I open my tablet and search for him again.

I drink my wine and rack my brain for his last name. It was something short … and it was also the same name of his real estate company.

Gabe … something.

What was it?

Two glasses later, I’m tipsy and warm and I’m so caught up in thinking about Gabe, that I’ve probably been through a hundred real estate websites looking for him. Now that I have another date with Lee, it almost feels like this is my my last chance to find Gabe again before I’m stuck committing to another guy.

Then it hits me.

Barr.

His last name was Barr.

I type it in and what I’ve been looking for is suddenly right here, the first search result, easily available after all. Why did it take me so long?

I go to his website and see his handsome face on the screen. I smile, remembering his dark beard and sharp jaw and handsome eyes. He really is the whole package.

I look around on the website, but it only lists the business phone number, and not Gabe’s personal number. I’m not sure I’d have the guts to text him anyway.

Then I find his social media profiles and go to Facebook. His company has a lot of five star reviews, which I’d say is obvious. Who wouldn’t give a guy that gorgeous the highest possible rating?

I scroll through and find his newest post. Maybe I’m drunk, but maybe he’s reaching out to me.

 

Had a great time at the Phoenix Small Business Convention. If we met, and didn’t exchange contact info, please message me through here. Would love to get to talk to you again.

 

Does that mean what I think it means?

I hover over the like button, knowing that if I click it, it’ll say Alexa Sharp has liked this post, and he’ll see my profile and he’ll recognize me. That’s all I’d have to do. I don’t even have to comment if I don’t want to. I’ve finally found this mysterious and amazing guy. I finally have him right here online and I’m too scared to do anything.

Instead, I decide to play the most pathetic game ever. Social media tag.

I open up my Facebook account for the bakery and type up my own post.

 

I recently went to a business convention in Arizona, and I had a blast! It was great meeting other business owners—

 

I stop and read over what I’ve typed so far. No, that’s not good enough. I need to be bold.

I mean not as bold as just messaging Gabe like an adult, but a little bit bolder.

 

I type: If we met at the convention, come by Sweets Bakery and get a cupcake and coffee on me!

 

And then I add a heart emoji and I post it. I know Livi will see it eventually and call me out on my obvious attempt to lure that sexy man I’ve been “getting over” to my shop, but I don’t care.

It probably won’t work. And he’ll probably never see it.

But if he does, well, it’ll be worth it.