Chapter 10

 

The flight back to Texas is awful. The plane is full, and people are talking and kids are running up and down the aisles, and I can’t find a single thing to watch on my phone, even after I pay the ridiculous price for the in-flight wi-fi. I just keep scrolling through Netflix, trying to find something that will take my mind off how much of a loser I am.

Instead of being an adult and going back to the business conference, I just ran away. That’s not very adult at all. I’m so embarrassed I can’t even think straight.

My flight seems to take forever, and yet when we land in Texas, it feels like it happened too fast. Now I’m back home, just a two hour drive from Mable Falls, and I really don’t want to face my friends like this. I’m supposed to come home tomorrow night, after a weekend of awesome business stuff. I am not supposed to arrive Saturday morning with my tail between my legs.

I don’t even want to look at the brochures and samples I brought back with me from the first day of the convention. It all just reminds me of him. The guy I stupidly fell hard for when I shouldn’t have fallen at all.

I sit in the terminal a while, not wanting to call Livi and let her know what’s up. I get some coffee and then after an hour, I break down and order lunch. Maybe I’ll just live in this airport for twenty-four hours and then pretend I got home on time.

I stare at my phone, and finally, when I can’t stand being here any longer, I decide to bite the bullet and get it over with. Maybe I’ll fake an illness. Say I got sick and had to come home. But that doesn’t really make sense, because who would willingly get on a plane when they were sick? If I were really sick, I’d have just stayed in my hotel room until I felt better. I struggle to come up with a believable excuse, but I can’t think of anything. The only real excuse is that I’m a pathetic loser.

I break down and call Livi.

“Hey, girl!” she answers, her voice all cheery like there’s no problem in the world.

I immediately feel worse. “Hey.”

“What’s up? You sound weird.”

I’ve only said one word, but I guess she can figure out that something’s not right. She’s a really good friend, and I’m happy to have her. I slink down in the plastic airport chair.

“Well … I’m home.”

“Huh?”

“Not home, exactly, but at the airport. Here in Houston.”

“Wait, you’re not supposed to be home until tomorrow, right? Mason and I are planning to pick you up at six.”

“Yeah, that was the original plan but, well, I’m here.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing,” I say. “Well, something. But … can you just come get me please?”

“Are you okay?” Livi asks, her voice a little more concerned now. “You’re not missing any limbs or anything?”

I chuckle. “No, I’m fine. I have all the same body parts I left with.”

Broken hearts don’t exactly count, I think.

“Okay, well I’m at the bakery and there’s no way I could leave it with just Keesha, so I should send Mason to get you—”

“No!” I say, cutting her off. “Not Mason. I need you. Just close up the bakery.”

“But it’s Saturday,” she says. “We’re really busy. Are you sure?”

“Yeah, just politely kick everyone out,” I say, hating myself for it. I love my customers and I hate the idea of closing on a Saturday but I just can’t do it now. I need Livi here, not Mason. I love him but he’s a guy and right now I need to talk to a girl.

“Okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Livi says.

When I hang up, I feel relief that I have someone coming to get me. Maybe in a few hours I can put this whole thing behind me, and just go back to my normal life and pretend I never met a gorgeous bearded man who works in real estate. Maybe I’ll even open the bakery back up this afternoon and spend the rest of the day working.

It’s a boring two hour wait at the airport, and I think I even fall asleep a few times, but finally Livi is calling me to say she’s made it and is waiting for me in the arrivals section. I lift up the handle on my rolling suitcase and walk to find her.

Livi looks like she just walked right out of a bakery, and it makes me smile. Her jeans have flour on them, and her hair is pulled back in a small bun that’s all frazzled from the baker’s hat she would have been wearing. She looks worn out, but concerned as her brows pull together when she sees me.

“Alexa,” she says, more like a confirmation than a greeting. She pulls me into a quick hug and then reaches for my suitcase, as if she knows I’m too broken right now to deal with anything other than myself.

“Thanks,” I say, letting her take the handle.

We’re quiet on the walk outside and to her car. Soon, I notice she’s not driving her old piece of crap car, and instead she’s driving Mason’s truck.

“Did you tell him what you were doing?” I ask, alarmed.

She grins and shakes her head as she lifts my suitcase into the back. “No worries. This is my truck now.”

“Huh?”

This truck is Mason’s baby. He probably loves it only slightly less than he loves Livi. We climb inside and Livi starts the engine to crank the air conditioning because it’s already pretty hot in here.

“Well, you know how Mason has been bitching that I need a new car because mine sucks?” she says. “Even after he put new tires on it, it still broke down on me twice in the last three months.”

I nod. He’s always telling her it’s too unsafe and that she needs something that was manufactured in this decade.

“Yeah, but you always say you can’t afford a new car,” I say.

She sighs and looks over at me, in a “you know how Mason is” type of way. “He’s been asking to buy me a car for weeks and I keep telling him no. I mean, we don’t even officially live together since my stuff is still in the guest room, so I can’t let him buy me a damn car. Then, yesterday, he decides he needs a new truck and instead of trading this one in, he gave me the keys.”

“That’s cute,” I say.

She rolls her eyes. “It’s his sneaky way of making sure I’m driving something safer even though I won’t let him buy me a car.”

“That’s still pretty cute,” I tell her.

Her lips tilt upward. “Yeah … it is.”

I’m smiling at how cute they are together, and it temporarily takes away the pain in my chest. But as we pull onto the highway and leave the airport behind, the sad feelings come right back to me. Embarrassing heartache can only be pushed aside for a few moments, I guess.

“So, I have to tell you what happened just because I can’t keep it to myself,” I begin.

Livi cocks an eyebrow, keeping her gaze on the road. “I’m intrigued.”

I breathe in deeply and let it out in a sigh. “It’s so stupid. I’m so stupid. And I want to just forget all about it and go on with my life, okay? But I want to tell you quickly just so I can get it all out of my system. Also, under no circumstances can Mason hear about this. Promise?”

She looks over at me. “If something bad happened, he will want to kick some Arizona ass, Alexa.”

I shake my head. “Don’t worry. Nothing bad happened. I’m just embarrassed.”

We stop at a red light and she gives me a pointed look, like she’s considering if it’s worth lying to her boyfriend for me. “Fine,” she says after a moment. “What you say in this truck will stay between us.”

“Thanks.”

I play with clasp on my watch band as I think of the best way to tell her everything. Then, I just start from the beginning. I tell her about the Texas nametag, and the coffee creamer fiasco and how Gabe first talked to me because of our shared Texas nametags. Then I tell her about our talk, and how cute he is, and the dinner we had at the hotel restaurant.

She listens politely, barely saying anything while I talk. I can tell she’s holding back though, and that she’s dying for more info. But that was all the easy stuff. Now it gets harder.

“So …” I say slowly. “By then I’d had three drinks and I was feeling … I don’t know, stupid I guess.”

Livi looks over at me. “What happened?”

“He walked me to my hotel room like a total gentleman, and he was about to leave and I—I—”

“Oh my God, I’m dying here,” Livi says. “What happened?”

I bite the inside of my lip so hard I can taste blood. Heat rises to my cheeks. I am so embarrassed to admit this to myself, much less to my best friend. “I pulled him into my room and made out with him.”

“Nice!” Livi says excitedly. “Tell me again how hot he was?”

I roll my eyes and describe him again. She’s grinning like she doesn’t think this is a big deal at all. But that’s because she doesn’t know the whole story.

I take a deep breath and tell her the rest.

“And then I just left,” I say, after recounting the whole night. “I just snuck out and left.”

“But why?” Livi says. “He was great! You should have stayed.”

“No.” I shake my head. “I was just a one night stand to him. He didn’t care about me.”

“I don’t think you can be totally sure of that,” she says, shaking her head. “He might be into you.”

“He was into hooking up with me. That’s all.” I look out the window. “I just feel like such an idiot. I mean, I thought I could do this fun no-strings-attached thing, but I couldn’t. I ended up liking him like I’m some kind of stupid kid.”

“There’s nothing wrong with liking someone,” Livi says. She reaches over and squeezes my hand. “I think you’re being too hard on yourself.”

I know she’s just being nice, so I don’t argue. Soon, we’re back in town, and Livi drives to my apartment. When she parks next to my car, she turns to me. “Okay, I have an idea.”

She takes her phone and types something. “What are you doing?” I ask.

She concentrates on her phone. “Gabe … in real estate … in Texas …” she says, typing it into her search bar.

“No!” I say, trying to grab for the phone, but she pulls it away.

“But you could find him!” she protests. “You could find him and email him or something, and then see if he really liked you. If he doesn’t, then who cares. But maybe he does.”

“No,” I say, shaking my head. “No way. I can’t contact him after the way I left.”

“How hard can it be?” she says, scrolling. Her face falls. “Oh. Well damn. The Texas real estate agents website lists over three hundred guys named Gabe and another two hundred named Gabriel.” She looks up at me and smiles. “Still, that won’t take too long to filter through. Most of them have pictures.”

She holds up her phone and I shove it away. “I’m not looking him up.”

“Okay, okay,” Livi says, shoving her phone into her purse. “I’ll let it go. Do you need help carrying your suitcase inside?”

“No,” I say with a sigh. I open my truck door and then hesitate before I get out. That whole going back to the bakery thing sounds like a bad idea now. All I really want is ice cream, a soft blanket on the couch, and lots of movies I’ve seen a million times. “Hey, Livi?” I ask. “Will you hang out with me for a while?”