Chapter Thirteen
James
Now that I was back in Hanna’s good graces, I felt like I was on top of the world. Even with the weird stalker, I felt like things were finally going my way. Hanna and I went out three times over the next week. New Year’s Eve was coming up, and I wanted to surprise her with something really special. There were always the usual parties at the tony Boston hotels, and Langford threw an annual bash where the champagne flowed all night. But considering the last party hadn’t exactly been a success, I wanted something different – I wanted something that I knew Hanna would really love.
When we went out to dinner on Tuesday night, I reached across the table and took her hand in mine. Hanna bit her lip and flicked her bright green eyes over me in a way that made me shiver. My cock twitched in my pants just thinking about how it would feel to slide deep inside her slick body again and take her, make her mine, keep her safe for all eternity.
“What?” Hanna giggled nervously. “Why are you staring at me like that?”
I grinned. “Sorry,” I said. “I can’t help it – you look incredible.”
Hanna was wearing a low-cut black dress that showed off just a hint of cleavage. She shifted and licked her lips before smiling at me.
“Thank you,” she said. “I did try, after all.” She tossed her long brown hair over one shoulder and batted her lashes. Hanna glanced around the restaurant. “This is really nice – do you come here often?”
“No,” I said. “I’ve been saving it for someone special. Harry told me that their steak and seafood is out of this world, but I knew it would be wasted on just me.”
I could tell by the way Hanna flushed that she was pleased with what I’d said.
“I bet,” Hanna said. She was teasing, but I knew she really meant it. “And I appreciate it, James.”
I grinned. “Anything for you. By the way,” I said, reaching into my pocket and pulling out a red leather box. “I have something for you.”
Hanna narrowed her eyes as I slid the box across the table. She picked it up with trembling fingers and flipped it open, revealing the five-carat diamond tennis bracelet I’d bought her, set in platinum.
“James,” Hanna said softly. “This is too much! I can’t accept this.”
I smirked. “Well, too bad, because I bought it for you, so I guess you’ll have to take it.” I raised an eyebrow at her and grinned as Hanna took the long, sparkling bracelet from its leather cradle and held it against her wrist. She smiled as I reached across the table and fastened the clasp around her delicate bones.
“That suits you,” I said. In the dim lighting of the steakhouse, the diamonds twinkled and shimmered. Hanna was staring down at her wrist for a moment before looking at me with love in her eyes.
“I really shouldn’t take this,” Hanna said. She bit her lip. “But it’s so beautiful, James.” She smirked. “And besides, I have a feeling you’re not going to give in and take it back.”
I shook my head. “Definitely not. That’s for you, and you alone.”
“I love it,” Hanna admitted. She swallowed. “Do you think I’m turning into one of those materialistic women?”
I snorted. “No. Not at all – if anything, you’ve just proven how independent you are.”
Hanna leaned back against the leather booth and smiled. “I…I just can’t believe that things are working out so well between us,” she said, shaking her head and laughing to herself. “If someone had told me a few months ago that I’d be dating James West…well, yeah, I wouldn’t have believed them.”
“But you’re happy?” I asked, leaning forward.
Hanna nodded. “Yeah,” she said. She took a deep breath. “James, I’ve never been so happy…or felt so confident about where a relationship is going.”
At the end of the night, I pulled Hanna into my arms outside of the restaurant. Her skin was cold from the winter chill but her lips were warm when I put my face to hers for a passionate kiss. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pushed her body close to mine as I pulled her into a tight embrace. Despite the heavy coats we both wore, I could feel the curves of Hanna’s body against mine and my cock began to throb. Hanna slipped her tongue into my mouth, warm and scented with wine from dinner. I tilted my head to the side and gently nibbled on her lip as she tangled her hands in my hair and tugged gently at my scalp, just hard enough to feel good.
“God,” I groaned, shoving one of my thighs between Hanna’s legs and pushing her against the brick wall. “I want you right now – I should take you right here.”
Hanna flushed. She pulled away and licked her lips. They were swollen from our kissing, and she glanced shyly down at the ground before leaning in again and kissing me gently. She nibbled on my lower lip and I slid my hands down her waist to her ass, where I squeezed both firm globes in my hands as Hanna shoved her crotch against mine. Desire and arousal flooded my body and I wanted to scoop her up in my arms, take her home, and ravish her all night.
“Can I come over?” Hanna whispered throatily when we broke apart. “I don’t have to get up too early tomorrow.”
I groaned. “I wish,” I said. “But I have a meeting with my shareholders first thing in the morning and I haven’t even looked at the fucking paperwork yet.”
Hanna giggled. “Call in sick,” she said. “We’ll blow work off and spend the whole day in bed. We can get take-out,” she added in an alluring, low voice as she snuggled closer to me. “Doesn’t that sound good?”
“It sounds amazing,” I admitted. “And trust me, I wish more than anything else in the world that we could do that. But Mark is going to kill me – it’s been a long time since we met, and I know he has plans to talk international development with me.”
“You’re no fun,” Hanna teased. “Besides,” she purred. “I’d much rather have you than this.” She dangled her wrist in front of me and the diamonds flashed in the moonlit street.
“You can have both,” I told her, trying hard to ignore my throbbing cock. “I promise. Just not tonight.”
Hanna pouted. She kissed me gently on the lips and nodded. “I get it,” she said. “But what about tomorrow? Dinner?”
“Absolutely,” I told her, stroking her cheek. “Come on, let’s get you home.”
After helping Hanna inside the car, I snuggled close and wrapped my arm around her. I was still achingly horny and wanted nothing more than to tear her clothes off, but I knew that I had to be responsible. After all, just because I was falling in love didn’t mean that I could blow off work.
Falling in love, I thought to myself as Hanna rested her head on my shoulder. Am I? Is this really possible?
But I didn’t have to think for long. I didn’t know every detail about Hanna’s life, but that didn’t matter. I was starting to realize that she was the exact woman I wanted to spend my life with.
Nick pulled up in front of Hanna’s building and slowed the car to a stop.
“I wish I could take you home with me,” I said, taking Hanna’s hands in mine and kissing them. “But I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Hanna grinned. “You’d better,” she said. “And I’m counting on dinner.”
She kissed me – a long, lingering passionate kiss – then climbed out of the car. I watched her ass sway from side to side as she walked into her building. When the door closed behind her, I had the irrational urge to run after Hanna and grab her, pull her into my arms, and spirit her away to my condo. Damnit, man, I thought as Nick pulled away from the curb. You’re losing your mind over this woman!
I barely slept that night. Instead, I sat at my desk and tried to make sense of the documents Mark had sent me earlier in the week. There were tentative plans for a Magnate office in Seoul, as well as Beijing, and while ordinarily the prospect would have excited me, I just couldn’t tear my mind away from Hanna. By the time I felt like I’d gotten a good handle on the paperwork, the sun was starting to rise in the sky. I took a quick shower, dressed, and went into the office.
“Mr. West, I’ve got coffee for you,” Maggie said, rising from her desk and handing me a warm latte. “Oh, and this came for you in the mail.” She handed me a padded envelope with no return address.
I frowned. “Who sent it?”
Maggie shrugged. “I’m sorry, Mr. West, I don’t know – it was on my desk when I got in this morning. Do you want me to call down to the mail room?”
“No,” I said shortly. I was starting to feel grumpy and exhausted from lack of sleep…and lack of Hanna’s hot body against mine. “Thanks, though.”
I went into my office and shut the door, flopping down on the couch and kicking my feet up on the table. I had twenty minutes before my meeting with Mark, so I ripped open the envelope. It’s probably more shit from him that I was supposed to have read already, I thought. Today is going to fucking suck.
Shiny photographs tumbled out and fell face-down to the floor. My heart sank as I sat up abruptly and grabbed one, expecting a close-up of my face against the backdrop of a London street.
But it was worse.
The picture was of Hanna. She was standing on a beach, laughing, and I realized the photos were from last Christmas, in Jamaica. My hands began to shake and I dropped the photo. It fluttered to the ground and I stared down at the glossy surface for a long time before getting to my feet and grabbing my phone.
“Hello?” Andrew yawned. “James?”
“Yeah,” I said. “And I need some fucking help, now.”
“What’s wrong? Did something happen?”
“I got more pictures,” I said. “But these were taken last year – in Jamaica.”
Andrew was silent for a long moment. “James, I’m sorry – there hasn’t been a break in the case yet. I’m working as hard as I can, but I’m afraid I don’t have anything to tell you.”
I felt panic swelling inside of my chest and I wanted to scream and yell, to throw my phone at the wall, to tell Andrew to fuck right off with his proper British nonsense. But instead, I took a deep breath.
“Well, there needs to be something soon,” I growled. “Or else, you’re fired and I’ll make sure you never work with a high-profile client for the rest of your life. I can ruin your career, Andrew, and I think you fucking know that.”
“James, I—“
“Don’t start,” I snapped. “These aren’t pictures of me – they’re pictures of my girlfriend, Hanna Parker. And I need to find out who the fuck is stalking the both of us!”
Andrew swallowed. “James, I…I’m sorry I don’t have anything more for you. But for the moment, you need to do whatever you can to keep her safe. Limit your distance from her publicly. Make sure that you’re not together, and for god’s sake, do not tell her the reasons why.”
I closed my eyes and sank down into the chair at my desk. “I have to break up with her,” I said. “There’s no other way – I have to keep her safe.”
“Yes,” Andrew said curtly. “At least, for the time being. It will be the best decision for everyone involved.”
I hung up the phone without replying. Inside, I was completely and totally numb. I couldn’t even be angry – this was exactly the last thing I’d wanted to happen. I couldn’t believe that after practically confessing my love to Hanna, I was going to have to break her heart.
The day dragged by. I was barely present in my meeting with Mark, to the point where he kept calling me out on it. I couldn’t help it – all I could think about was Hanna, and how badly I was going to hurt her…not to mention, how much she would hate me after this was all over.
At four-thirty, I walked over to Hanna’s office. She grinned when she saw me, and I felt a stab of guilt at the sparkling diamonds wrapped around her wrist.
“Hey,” Hanna said. “Decided on dinner yet?”
“Yeah,” I said. I swallowed and rocked back and forth on the balls of my feet. “Listen—”
“Because I was thinking maybe we could try that new Chinese place, you know, the one that does the fusion tapas? Like, Italian-Chinese?”
I didn’t answer.
“James?” Hanna narrowed her eyes and frowned. “Is something wrong? You’re acting weird.”
“No,” I lied. “There’s nothing wrong. I’ll ask Maggie to make reservations.”
Hanna beamed and I felt like the world’s biggest piece of shit.
“Good,” Hanna said. She licked her lips and leaned closer, and my heart ached at the obvious love in her eyes. “Because I can’t wait to go out with you, James.”
I nodded. “Can you meet me there at seven-thirty? I’ve got a lot of work to catch up on?”
Hanna’s smile faltered slightly but she nodded. “Of course. I owe Danielle some girls’ time, anyway.”
“Okay,” I said awkwardly. “Well, see you then.”
Hanna looked crestfallen as I walked out of her office.
God damnit, I thought as I shoved my fists into my pockets and stormed away. I hate this.
I spent the rest of the afternoon filled with cautious optimism that Andrew or my private investigator would call and give me the good news I was so desperately craving – news of my stalker, and whether or not they had made an arrest. But the phone stayed silent, aside from Harry who called me three times. I ignored him, and tried to stay as focused on work as possible.
By the time I had to leave the office to meet Hanna for dinner, I felt terrible. I’d been useless in my office – I’d spent the last hour refreshing my email time after time, hoping to see some news. But nothing had changed. I still had to dump the first and only woman I’d ever loved…and I couldn’t even be honest with her about my reasons for doing it.
I walked into the restaurant five minutes after seven-thirty and the hostess showed me to a cozy, private table in the back. Hanna was already there, seated and looking radiant in a dark blue silk dress that hugged her slender curves. She bit her lip and looked up at me with passion in her eyes.
“Are you feeling better?” Hanna asked as I took a sip of water.
I didn’t answer.
“James, what’s going on?” Hanna asked. She frowned. “I can tell you’re upset about something. Can’t you just tell me?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “The truth is—”
Just as I was about to do it, the waitress appeared and beamed. “Hello,” she said. “Since we’re so new, we’re offering free appetizers tonight – would you like some wasabi potstickers?”
“Oh my god, yeah,” Hanna said. She glanced over at me and her smile faded. “Doesn’t that sound good, James?”
I shrugged. “Whatever,” I said. My stomach was in knots and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to eat anything. In fact, I’d been hoping to speak with Hanna before we got the chance to order, so she’d be able to leave without attracting as much attention. But I had a feeling that just like the rest of my life, tonight was totally and completely fucked.
“Oh, and I’ll have a ginger martini,” Hanna said. She smiled at me. “James, you want anything?”
“Yeah, just whatever light lager you have on tap,” I said, glancing up at the waitress. She beamed down at both of us.
“Sounds good, I’ll be right back with your orders,” she said. “And please – if there are any other snacks you’d like to sample, I bet we could work something out.”
“Wow,” Hanna said as soon as the waitress had gone. “I’d read about them giving out free stuff, but I didn’t—”
“Hanna, I really need to talk to you,” I said.
Hanna frowned. “I don’t like the sound of that,” she said. She narrowed her eyes and leaned back in the booth. “What’s going on, James?”
“Well, I—”
“Because if this is about work, I get it,” Hanna said. “I really do. But Linda told me it’s pretty normal for social activity to taper off between Christmas and New Year’s, and after New Year’s, we should be back up to our normal levels of engagement.”
I sighed. I’d known going in that this wasn’t going to be easy, but it was turning out to be harder than I could’ve possibly imagined.
“It’s not about work,” I said. My voice was cold and hard as I spoke, and I kept my eyes focused on Hanna’s pointed chin so I wouldn’t have to look into her eyes.
“James?” Hanna asked softly. “What’s going on? Did…did something else happen, you know…with the stalker?”
“No,” I lied. I shook my head. “It’s just, well, I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m in the right place for a relationship right now. I have a lot going on with the new Magnate developments in South Korea and China, and I don’t really think this is the best time. It’s not fair to you, Hanna,” I continued. “You deserve to be with someone who devotes their complete attention to you, and I’m afraid I can’t do that.” The words were so painful to speak that I felt as if my mouth was filled with corrosive acid, or sharp knives.
“What the fuck,” Hanna said slowly. She reached across the table and took my chin in her hand, yanking my head up and forcing me to look at her. “I can’t believe this,” she said, shaking her head in disgust. “You’re kidding me, right? This is a test – this has to be a test!”
“It’s not a test,” I replied in a small voice. “I wish that it weren’t true, but it is. I don’t have the time or the energy for a relationship right now.”
“You’re an asshole,” Hanna hissed. Her voice was like liquid poison – it seeped into my pores and filled me with pain. “You just wanted to fuck me again! And I know that’s the truth, so don’t lie!”
“That isn’t true—”
“Yes, it is!” Hanna shouted. She leapt to her feet and I saw she was blinking away angry tears. More than anything, I wanted to take her in my arms and pull her close, tell her the truth, reassure her that I still loved her…and that I’d never stop loving her. But it was too late. Hanna was already grabbing her coat and pulling it close around her shoulders.
“I hate you, James West,” Hanna hissed. She leaned down and her nostrils flared. But there wasn’t anger in her eyes. There was blind, naked hurt and pain disguised as rage. For a moment, I felt a spark leap between our bodies, and I knew she felt it, too. Her angry expression softened, and I thought she was going to kiss me.
But the sting of her hand across my face was more than I deserved.
As Hanna turned on her heel and ran out of the restaurant, I wanted to chase after her. I wanted to take her hand, to hold her, to stroke her hair away from her brilliant green eyes and tell her that I loved her.
Then the memory of those damned photos came back into my mind, and I knew that I’d done the right thing. As I watched the distance between our bodies grow farther and farther apart, I knew that as long as Hanna and I were together, and as long as my stalker was out there, she would never be safe.