Chapter Sixteen
Hanna
I was in a dark forest, walking slowly through the cold woods. My hands and feet were freezing, and when I looked down, I saw that somewhere along the way I’d lost my shoes. That’s weird, I thought to myself as I stumbled on. When did that happen?
There was noise – lots of strange noise, almost like a party – coming from all around me but no matter which direction I turned, it never seemed to get any louder or softer.
“Hello,” I called loudly. “Is anybody there?”
The noise grew fainter and I began to shiver. Wrapping my arms around myself, I leaned against the trunk of a tree to catch my breath. For some reason, I wasn’t dressed for the cold – I was wearing a bright red satin party dress that clung to my body and made it almost difficult to breathe.
“Hello,” I called again, my voice rising into a high-pitched shriek. “Help me, please! I’m lost!”
Sniffling, I wiped my nose on the back of my hand and pressed on. The sky was dark and full of clouds, but a strong wind was blowing them across the night sky with alarming speed. I caught glimpses of the bright, bone-white moon looming in the sky and the sight filled me with hope.
“Danielle,” I yelled. “Are you there? It’s me, Hanna!”
There was no reply. By now, my feet were so cold that I felt like pins and needles were running up and down my legs each time I took a step. My hands were frozen and clammy and I wrapped my arms around my body, tucking my hands into my armpits in a desperate bid for warmth.
“Why didn’t I wear something warmer,” I muttered under my breath as I stumbled and nearly fell over a downed tree. “I’m going to freeze to death if I don’t find someone soon!”
That was when I saw him.
James was standing there, his unruly hair ruffling in the breeze. He was wearing a warm winter coat over a dark suit, and save for the dim light of the moon, I could barely make out his features.
“James?” I asked quietly, stepping closer.
James didn’t say anything. His face looked cold and arrogant, with his strong jaw clenched in the moonlight.
“James, it’s me,” I said hesitantly, taking another small step towards him.
“I don’t know you,” James said in a chill, monotonous voice.
“It’s me,” I insisted. “Hanna! Hanna Parker!”
James only stared at me with steely eyes. “I don’t know you,” he repeated. “Now, leave me alone.”
The trees began to shake and twist as the wind howled around them. My hair was blowing in relentless tangles across my face and I had to push it away with both hands. Dust and dirt swirled in the tempestuous breeze, making it hard for me to breathe and stinging my eyes. I began to cough and choke, covering my mouth with both hands as my eyes filled with tears.
“James,” I gasped. “Please, James – you have to help me, I’m in trouble!”
But when I opened my eyes, James was gone.
***
The pain in my head was staggering – it was so intense that when I tried to open my eyes, I immediately cried out in agony. I couldn’t remember ever being in such pain before: it was like I’d died, and somehow come back from the other side, battle wounds intact. Everything hurt. My arms hurt, my legs hurt – even my hair seemed to hurt. And most frustratingly of all, I couldn’t move. My arms were useless limbs at my sides, and my legs were twisted together underneath my body.
God, Hanna, you really overdid it with the drinking, I thought, swinging my body and trying to move my feet underneath me. But it didn’t work – something was wrong. For a horrible moment, I wondered if I’d been the victim of some cruel and tragic accident resulting in my paralysis.
That was when I looked down and shrieked as real fear took hold of my chest and gripped me hard.
My legs were bound underneath of me, tied at the knee and ankle with soft rope that was twisted over and over and knotted. My skin was darker than usual, and blotchy with bruises. I uttered a low moan at the sight of my feet – they were covered with blue and purple spots that looked dangerous. And worst of all, they were completely numb.
My arms were bound to my sides, with my wrists tied underneath my body. Like my legs, my arms were mostly numb. But when I gritted my teeth and rolled my shoulders back, I felt the ghost of sensation in my thumbs and hands. And the clothes I was wearing were unfamiliar – someone had changed me out of my red satin dress and into a pair of worn cotton shirts and a plain t-shirt.
Where the fuck am I, I wondered as my heart started to pound. How long have I been here, and what do they want with me?
The thought was enough to make me start crying, but I knew that I had to keep my head calm. If I wanted a chance at escape, there was no way I’d be able to do it as a weak, sobbing mess. I was going to have to figure out exactly where I was and what to do, not just get upset and wait for someone to come rescue me. As I looked around the room where I was being held, I tried to make sense of my surroundings. There was a small, grimy window a few feet off the floor, but the other walls were blank. I was lying on a mattress that smelled like it had seen better days, and it was freezing cold. Plus, my stomach was aching, and my lips and tongue were so dry that they were both cracked. One thing was certain – I clearly hadn’t been given any water since someone had kidnapped me.
Kidnapped.
The word alone was a shock – the kind of thing I’d always thought could never happen to me. And yet, here I was, trussed up like a prized pig. Waiting for someone to find me.
That is, if anyone even realizes I’m gone, I thought as a chill ran down my spine. What the hell is going on?
The sound of a door opening and closing made my heart stop. I tried to lift myself off the grimy mattress and look to the door, but just lifting my head was a struggle.
“Awake, I see.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This is it, I thought. This is the person deranged enough to kidnap me.
“Look at me.”
I forced myself to open my eyes. From the stern, authoritarian voice speaking, I half-expected to see a female drill sergeant standing there. But instead, it was a pretty, petite, blonde girl with her hair tied back in a loose ponytail.
“So,” the girl said, leaning closer and putting her hands together. “You were out for a really long time!” She threw her head back and laughed. “I had no idea that ketamine would work so well!”
“Ketamine?” I blinked. “You…you drugged me?”
The girl laughed again. It was a high, cheerful sound that filled me with dread. She snorted and shook her head, tossing her bright blonde hair over one shoulder.
“You’re not really too bright, are you,” she said casually, sitting down on the edge of the mattress. From the angle where I lay, it was a struggle to see her clearly. “I bet you don’t even remember me!”
I didn’t reply.
“We’ve met before,” the girl said in a sing-song voice. “In fact, it was pretty recently, too! But like I said, you’re obviously pretty stupid. I have no idea what James sees in you…although maybe he likes stupid girls!”
The mention of James’s name sent my heart leaping into my throat and I blinked.
“Oh, yeah, I bet he’d really like to see this,” the girl said. “I’m Emily, by the way.” She batted her eyelashes at me, almost like she was flirting. “You remember me, don’t you? From the Christmas party that Langdon threw?”
I closed my eyes and just as I was about to take a deep breath, Emily struck me across the cheek. The blow was sharp and painful and I winced.
“There’s no way I’m going to let James marry someone like you,” Emily said. “So, you’d better get used to it.”
Despite the fact that I was bound and confined to a small, cramped, and dirty room, for some reason Emily’s taunt was what made me realize that she was truly psychotic. There was no way she was going to let me leave…unless I figured out how to manipulate her.
“Emily,” I said. “Trust me. We’re not getting married.”
Emily gave me a cold look and rolled her eyes. “Obviously,” she said. “Were you even listening to me? He wouldn’t marry someone like you – you’re not even from new money!”
“We broke up,” I said flatly, looking into her eyes and trying to search for an ounce of humanity. “He dumped me. In fact, maybe it was because he misses you and wants to get back together.”
Emily stared at me for a long moment, squinting into my face. “You’re lying,” she said.
“I’m not.” I made my eyes wide and tried to look as innocent as possible. “Trust me, Emily – I have no reason to lie to you. James and I are finished. Completely done.”
Emily bit her lip. “I don’t believe you,” she said slowly. “I think you’re just telling me that because you want me to let you go.” She leaned in close and I caught a whiff of musky, floral perfume. “Well, Hanna, I can tell you right now – that’s not going to work.”
“Call him,” I urged. “Ask him whether or not he broke up with me.”
Emily’s cheeks turned pink and she twisted her mouth into an angry shape of confusion.
“No,” she said. “Why would I bother doing something like that?” She laughed, but this time there was no humor in her voice. “You’re obviously just trying to manipulate me!”
Emily lunged toward me, hands outstretched and her fingernails drawn into claws. I barely managed to twist to the side as she landed on the bed, her legs flopping over mine and pinning me down. As I tried to wriggle free and break loose of my bonds, Emily climbed on top of me and wrapped her hands around my throat.
“Now,” Emily said. “Don’t lie. Tell me the truth, Hanna!”
“You’re choking me,” I gasped, trying desperately to breathe. My lungs were on fire as I gasped and choked for air. Emily’s hands grew tighter around my throat. Little black spots appeared in front of my eyes and just as I thought I was going to pass out, there was a loud bang. Emily took her hands away and leapt backward, crashing onto the floor in an unceremonious heap. I heard a bunch of voices and loud sounds, but every time I struggled to sit up, I felt that I was going to lose consciousness.
“Hanna!” James’s voice yelled. “Oh my god, are you okay?”
And then, just like that, I was in his arms. James pulled me close and held me tightly for a second before putting his fingers to the ropes knotted around my wrists. He grunted and strained for a moment, then reached into his pocket and pulled out a knife.
Cops and detectives flooded into the room in a massive wave of blue uniforms. It was surreal – for the second time that day, I thought I was about to pass out.
“What’s going on,” I croaked, closing my eyes and resting my head against James’s shoulder as he cut the ropes binding my wrists. As soon as my hands were freed, James rubbed the skin on my wrists until blood gushed back into my hands. It was painful at first, but being able to move again was extraordinary.
“Shh, don’t talk,” James said. He gently set me back down on the bed and grabbed my ankles and knees, cutting the rope around my bare skin. As soon as I was freed, I began to shake and shiver. James took his coat off and wrapped it around my shoulders, holding me close.
Emily was screaming as one of the cops dragged her out of the apartment. As I looked at James with wide eyes, I suddenly remembered that he and I had broken up. He’d dumped me – and it was clear that nothing between us could ever be the same again.
“It’s okay,” I said, trying to push James away. “You don’t have to do this. I’m okay now.”
James buried his face in my hair. “Now that I found you, I’m never going to let you go,” he whispered fiercely into my hair. “And you’ll never be alone again.”
I knew that he was lying, but in the moment it felt so good to believe him that I nodded and closed my eyes, lulled into a sense of false safety by the feeling of his arms around me.
The next few hours were a blur. The cops wanted to talk to me – James insisted that we take a few moments, then meet them downtown – and they had already gotten a confession from Emily. She’d admitted to the whole thing: bribing a bartender to pass me a drugged drink at the bar, then holding me hostage in a dirty apartment for over forty-eight hours. I was still feeling dazed from the intense dose of ketamine that she’d slipped into my drink, and talking to the cops was a surreal experience.
After Emily was led away in handcuffs, the main detective sat down and looked me in the eye.
“Hanna, I know you’re not feeling well, and I swear we’ll get you to the hospital soon. But first, you need to come downtown and answer a few questions for me – do you think you can do that?”
The last thing I wanted was to spend time in a grimy police station: it would be like torture. But I knew I didn’t have a choice. If I wanted to put Emily behind bars – and clear James’s reputation – I knew that I’d have to comply.
As soon as I nodded, the detective had James bring me downtown. In the back of his car, James handed me a bag.
“This isn’t much,” he said. “But it might help for a little bit.”
With a frown, I looked down into the bag. There was a brand-new pair of plush snow boots, a parka, a scarf, and a hat as well as jeans with the tag still on them and a cashmere sweater that looked as soft as a cat.
“Why did you bring me clothes?”
“I wanted you to be comfortable,” James said quietly.
As his car rolled on through the dark Boston streets, I realized there were a million things I wanted to say to him. I was still angry and hurt…but mostly, now, I was just confused. If he didn’t care about me at all, why the hell had he gone to so much trouble to find me and bring me warm clothing?
But I couldn’t muster up the courage. I was still in pain, dehydrated, and exhausted from my ordeal. In fact, it took all the energy I have left to change into the clothes and pull on the parka and scarf. Everything fit perfectly, and I snuggled up against the warm leather car seat as we approached the police station.
To my surprise, when Nick pulled to a stop, James put his hand on mine. “I’m coming in with you,” he said. “I’m not leaving until this is all over and settled.”
Then why did you hurt me, I thought as I climbed out from the back of James’s car, carefully avoiding the black piles of icy sleet and snow on the streets. Why are you doing this, dangling me around like a fish on a hook?
I looked up at James, wishing that he could read my mind. But of course, that was impossible. After all, what words could I even say? James had clearly acted out of guilt – he didn’t want me to be cold and alone, and he obviously felt responsible for my well-being since he’d broken my heart.
But how was I supposed to tell him that just being around him like this was more painful than being tied up in Emily’s dingy apartment? In ordinary times, I wouldn’t have thought twice about telling him to fuck off. But these weren’t ordinary times. My strength was gone, I felt sick and cold and exhausted, like I’d never be well again.
And before I got the chance to speak, James guided me inside the police station and waved to one of the detectives – the man I’d seen leading Emily out of the small apartment.
“Hanna, this is Detective Patterson,” James said. He gave me a friendly, concerned smile. Just seeing his handsome face light up made my heart ache like a burn that I’d rubbed salt over. How can he be acting so normal, I thought as Patterson led me down the hall and into a small room. Doesn’t he know that everything between us is ruined, and that it’s never going to be the same?