“Toph! Toph! Toph! Toph!”

I opened a bleary eye as Lyle chanted and pumped his fist into the air. Topher took one look at the two of us and laughed.

“Jesus, what the hell have the two of you been up to down here?”

“Glory days, man. Relivin’ the glory days.”

I moaned, rubbing my head. I felt like shit. And not just from the booze. A few days ago I’d had it all figured out. I’d had the girl of my dreams on lockdown.

Now, I was drunk in a rec room with two dudes.

And she was… well, God knows where she was. Or who she was with. I’d basically told her I’d give her a second chance if she stopped seeing other guys.

I knew it was stupid, but I couldn’t help it. Even with all her lies, I wanted her.

“Gabe got dumped. He’s commiserating. No- convalescing!”

“Dumped? I didn’t know you had a lady.”

“Tabitha Peterson.”

“No shit? That was a long time coming. That’s why you wanted this?”

He held up a yearbook in one hand and a twelve-pack of beer in the other. Then he jerked his head over his shoulder.

“Pizza’s on its way.”

“You rock, man. Sit down. Try not to make the G-Man dizzy.”

Topher sat and placed the yearbook on the table. I squinted at it, accepting a cold beer and twisting the top off.

“What is that?”

“You wanted this right? That picture of her? Heads rolled over this one, let me tell you. I think the yearbook editor lost his scholarship for sticking that picture in there.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

He laughed.

“That sexy ass mole. Man, that thing went down in history at Heckam High let me tell you.”

“Mole?”

“Yeah. Here, let me show you-“ He picked up the yearbook and started flipping through it. Towards the back were the candid shots of seniors. He held up the book and grinned at me.

There was a huge picture of Tabby and a couple other girls. She was sitting on the bleachers, staring over her shoulder with a look of annoyance.

She looked so young and sweet. Absolutely stunning as usual. But that’s not what caught my attention. No, it was her clearly visible lower back. Someone had lifted her shirt to snap her bra at the exact second the picture was taken.

The shot was sexy as hell. She looked like a pin up girl, surprised as a puppy tugged her bikini strap down. Except she’d just been a girl minding her own business and someone had bothered her.

I felt sick as I stared at the photo.

Her entire lower back was exposed, right down to the dimples above her ass. You could see the graceful line of her spine, the side of her breasts, and yes, the famous mole.

She was wearing a pony tail. So you could see the mole on her neck, too.

“This photo was ripped out of every guy’s yearbook when they went off to college, let me tell you.”

“Not yours Toph?” Lyle was cackling and sipping a beer. Meanwhile, I felt like I was cracking in two.

Toph shrugged.

“No man, I’m a gentleman. Besides, I didn’t go to college!”

My heart slammed in my chest.

I was an idiot. I was a fucking idiot. The biggest fucking idiot on the whole damn planet.

She hadn’t fucked that cretin. She hadn’t fucked anyone. She hadn’t done a damn thing except be the sweetest, most loving girl I’d ever met.

And I’d treated her like shit.

Like worse than shit. Like she was a thing- an object to be used for pleasure. An object that I hadn’t wanted anyone else getting their hands on.

I closed my eyes, seeing her lying beneath me. Hearing her tell me she loved me. And I had just… used her to get off.

“Oh fuck.”

“You okay G-man?”

“No. I’m not fucking okay.”

I grabbed my phone and called her. No answer. I texted her.

No response. Not that I was surprised. I was sure she hated me.

Hell, I hated me.

“Pizza’s here!”

I dragged my wallet out and paid the guy. Then I whispered in a ragged voice.

“Coffee. Water. Gatorade.”

“You want to sober up man?”

I nodded and Lyle slapped my back.

“Alright man, we got you. Why don’t you start with a shower?”

I was careful as I used the walker to get into the bathroom. I was almost ready to graduate to the cane but now was not the time.

My mind was racing as I tried to figure out what to do. I needed to go find Tabby but I was in no condition. If she saw me like this, she wouldn’t even give me the time of day.

Not that I blamed her.

But I did need to find her. Start the ball rolling. I had to make things right. I stared at my bleary eyes in the mirror.

I had to fix this.

I leaned my head out of the bathroom as the steam started to fill the room.

“You okay?”

“Call Garrity’s. Find out if she’s working tonight.”

When I came out, Lyle was brewing coffee at the breakfast bar. Topher was eating a slice and flipping through his old yearbook. Actually, they’d found mine somewhere too.

“Holy shit, were we ever this young?”

I shook my head and took a slice. If I ate, I might sober up faster. I might be able to think straight.

“Hey man.”

“I need to get into town. I need to see her. Is anyone sober enough to drive?”

They exchanged a look and I put my pizza down. I knew it was something bad without even having to ask.

“What is it?”

“I called the bar, man. They said she..” Lyle’s voice drifted off and I started imagining all sorts of things. She refused to come to the phone. She had a restraining order. She had a new boyfriend already.

“She what?”

“She quit man. They said she, uh, she left town. She’s gone.”

The walls came crashing in on me. She was gone. She’d really left. That innocent, beautiful girl was out there alone somewhere, with no one to help her or protect her.

And it was all my fucking fault.

I thought I’d hit bottom ten minutes ago when I realized what an idiot I was. An idiot and a cold-hearted bastard who had mistreated the most important person in the world to me.

But I hadn’t believed for an instant that I’d truly lost her.

Not until now.