11
Evan
We have to wait two days before we can try out anything with the pup training.
We’re both busy with work, but even though we don’t have time to train, I’ve been trying on the pup gear while he’s gone and practicing a bit so that I don’t seem like a total idiot when we start.
I mean, maybe like less of an idiot than I feel like, at least.
I’m practically dancing around the coffee shop the day we’ve planned to start training.
I’m giddy and alive…this feels so different from a much darker time in my life…when I was sorting through so much shit. I like how far I’ve come.
Not just with my depression, but from being miserable in modeling and then all that bullshit with Peter.
I like the life I’m living. Hanging out with my new friends and Frankie…and getting to explore new, crazy adventures.
Like what am I even thinking with this puppy-play stuff? I have no idea, but I don’t care because something about it gets me going.
And Frankie’s encouragement has only made my desire to go forward with this that much more intense.
I get home before Frankie does, and I giddily watch a few more videos and read some articles until I hear the familiar sound of him entering through the front door. I greet him and talk to him about his day a little, and then he showers up.
I’m waiting in the living room when he steps out of his room, a towel around his waist.
“What are you waiting for? We gotta get to training,” I press.
He laughs before running his hand through his hair, his dark locks clinging to his wet forehead as he releases them.
Hot as he is in a beanie, right now, on full display, his body glistening in the light shining in through our bay window, I can definitely appreciate how attractive he is without any clothes on. God knows I have appreciated sneaking a glance at that big dick of his when he’s come out in not so much as a towel.
Frankie grins like he’s amused by my eagerness.
He heads to his bag on the kitchen island. He wipes his hands off on his towel before he pulls out a notebook and pen.
“Here, let’s go ahead and talk about some of this stuff, and then we both can get changed and ready for training.”
I can hardly hear him as he sits down on the couch beside me…because my thoughts are elsewhere: “You have a notebook for this?”
“I told you, if we’re going to do this, I’m going to be a pro. I’m not half-assing this shit. I’ve been doing my research the past few days and want to make sure we start off on the right foot.” He studies my expression. “What?”
“That just might be the most adorable thing you’ve ever done.”
He rolls his eyes. “Whatever.” He glances over his notes. I feel like there are a million things we need to talk about and sort through, especially after everything we’ve both learned about puppy play since we first started discussing it.
“Ah, here we go,” he says, clearly noticing something he wrote down. “So about the breed…”
I laugh. It’s amazing that we’ve both picked up on similar questions during our research. I know where he’s going with this. Pups can choose breeds that they feel more like, and I’ve definitely been considering one.
“I haven’t really figured that out yet. I was kind of looking between a Labrador and a German shepherd, but…”
He smiles, his eyes narrowing at the same time like he’s thinking hard about it. “Those don’t seem right for you.”
“Well, then what?” I ask.
“I don’t know. Let me think on it.”
I chuckle.
“What are you laughing about?” he asks.
“I’m just impressed that you’re taking this all so seriously.”
“Well, you’re not taking it seriously enough if you don’t even know your breed yet.” And I can hear the teasing in his voice.
“Hey, I’m the pup! I’m taking it seriously!”
“I’m just kidding, Ev. So, I’ll put down that you’re working on the breed.” He writes in his notebook.
I’m in shock. “You’re seriously writing that down?”
He grins mischievously. “Of course I’m not writing it down. I just wanted to see how you’d react if you thought I was.” He winks, and I can’t help but unleash a loud laugh that keeps going to the point where I can hardly breathe for a moment. I love when he can get me like that, and I can tell he’s reveling in his success in pulling one over on me.
“Okay, okay,” he says like he’s trying to get back on track. “Then what about your pup name? I’m not a big fan of Pup Evan.”
“I kind of like when you called me a runt the other day. Maybe Pup Runt?”
He smirks. “I’m down with that.”
There’s something so fun about this moment. I feel like we’re both in so over our heads, but it’s fun being that way with Frankie.
It makes me feel a little less overwhelmed by it all.
All this stuff is kind of weird. Kind of crazy. But kind of right.
“The other thing,” Frankie says, setting his notebook in his lap. “From what I’ve been reading up about training, it sounds like it can be pretty much whatever we make it. Fun playtime. Just simple commands like sit and lay…fetch.”
“I like all that,” I blurt out, because even just as he mentions them, I find myself growing impatient, wanting to play around with this already. I’m tired of just fantasizing about it in my head.
“And then like I can chain you up and cage you when you’re bad.”
He must notice my expression, because he laughs again. “God, you’re so easy to get at today. I’m totally kidding.”
He’s got me laughing again, tearing down my defenses.
“No, I know you’re not wanting the hard-core BDSM pup play. But if we are training, I will need to reward and punish you.”
“Punish me when I’m naughty?” I say, unable to shake my smile just as much as he can’t seem to shake his.
“Yeah. Did you have anything in mind?”
“I’m fine with you scolding me or being stern with me. Just don’t make me think you’re mad at me, because that would make me sad.”
His expression turns serious for a second. “I won’t make you think I’m mad at you, Ev. This is just supposed to be fun, and if you start to think something’s wrong, you need to call it. Stop it right then and there. This is all about you. Well, I mean, not that I won’t be having fun too.”
My grin can’t get any broader. “Well, I’m glad you’ll be having fun too.”
“Just remember, this is supposed to be fun. It’s about you getting to forget about all the other stuff and just be. It’s whatever you want to make it, so if you don’t like something or you get uncomfortable with anything, just let me know.”
“It’s okay, Frankie.” I say, “I know you’ll have to punish me if I’m not behaving. That part sounds kind of fun, actually.”
“Good. But I also have to say, because of my history, I’m not down with anything physical when it comes to punishment. I know it’s consensual when it happens, and I’m not even sure how prevalent it is with puppy play, but that’s just not my thing.”
God, he is so incredible. Sometimes I wonder if he knows how incredible he is. “Of course. You don’t want to do anything that makes me uncomfortable, and I feel the same with you.”
Franking grins. “Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, we can talk about how to reward you when you’re good. Do you want any treats or something?”
“Ooh, ooh—”
“I knew it was going to be Reese’s Pieces,” he says before letting me even speak the words. “It’s all good. I grabbed some on my way home.”
Once again, I’m reminded that he was the perfect person to do this with.
“Other than that, I’ll be petting you, giving you—”
“Sweet scritches…and maybe a belly rub.”
“You want a belly rub?”
He picks up the pen and notebook again and acts like he’s about to take notes. I grab a pillow from behind me and swat at him. “You ass.”
“So petting and praise and Reese’s Pieces are a big yes,” he says. “I can work with that. It sounds like we’re pretty much on the same page here.”
As he looks at me, I can tell he’s relaxed about this. So have I, especially since we’re sitting here discussing my boundaries and what I’d feel comfortable with.
I’m so glad that Frankie’s taking this time to talk to me before we start training. That he’s not rushing into this. We’re both a little bit out of our depths here, which kind of makes it easier, because it’s the first time for both of us.
“So I guess for this first session, we can start with basic commands,” Frankie says. “Sit, lay…the standard. But a big part of right now should be about making sure that you’re in puppy space as much as possible. From what I’ve read, you shouldn’t be breaking out of our training sessions and acting like your human self. You need to feel free to be your pup self during this time. My biggest concern is gonna be making sure that you are being as much into this puppy space as possible, getting out of your own head. Then after each session, when you take the hood off, if you want to talk about boundaries or anything else you’re interested in, we can do that as well.”
He says that so seriously, and as intimidating as it sounds, I like the idea of working to be more of my pup self…or at least, figuring out what the hell that really means.
He squints and shakes his head. “Now I feel like we can talk about this until we’re blue in the face, but we really need to get to it. Maybe we’ll do a half hour tonight? I think that’s probably a good place to start.”
“Okay.”
He smirks as he scans me up and down. “You should probably go change.”
“You should too.”
He looks himself over as though he totally forgot that he was still just in a towel.
“Well, let’s go change and get to it.”
We split up, heading into our bedrooms.
It’s so funny that I wouldn’t have even thought about doing this with Frankie before, but now I’m actually eager and excited to be hopping into a fucking puppy getup. Most of the pups I’ve seen wear minimal clothing, so I just keep on my black Andrew Christian briefs and put on knee pads and gloves. I think about going out there without the hood on and changing in front of Frankie, but I realize this is something I need to get used to, and that if I really want to go for this, I need to act like a pup the moment we start our training session.
Pup Runt, I think, liking the nickname we discussed.
I put my hood on, get on all fours, and crawl into the living room.
I want to do this right. I want to let go, but I can still hear the voices in my head that remind me of how silly this is. But those voices are so minuscule compared to the eagerness and excitement I have about exploring this further and discovering what it will be like when I’m able to totally surrender to my pup self.
Frankie stands in the living room, in jeans, a tee, and a beanie.
As soon as he sees me, his expression turns serious.
I was expecting maybe a laugh or something, but he doesn’t look amused. He looks like he’s appreciating my puppy gear, which helps to push all my concerns to the back of my mind.
“Hey there, Pup Runt.” He approaches me, offering a few scritches on the back of my neck. “Good boy. That’s a good boy.”
Those words, simple as they are, make me feel so safe, so cared for.
It’s nice having Frankie here with me, and nice being able to put my trust in him.
Hell, that’s the reason why I haven’t so much as had sex with a guy since Peter. I already made the mistake of putting trust in the wrong guy once, and of course I had to choose the biggest bastard of them all. As terrible as I was about making the decision to put my faith in Peter, I know I’m making the right decision by putting it in Frankie in this moment because he’s never taken advantage of me. He could have easily preyed upon me that night when I was feeling so down and insecure.
All he’s ever done for me is be a great friend. And now, he’s Pup Runt’s handler. Who would have thought this is where we would have wound up?
“Now.” He snaps his fingers and points to the floor. “Sit.”
He’s good at this.
A lot better than I am at being a pup.
I feel so silly, but the way he takes to it, the way he’s treating me helps me relax into this experience.
I obey his command, just like I imagine a good pup would.
Frankie grins. In some ways, I think he’s getting a similar thrill from this experience.
“I think that deserves a treat.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small bag of Reese’s Pieces.
Grabbing a Reese’s Piece from the bag he’s holding, he says, “Open wide.”
I obey, and he slides it under the snout, into my mouth.
Something about this moment…it’s so playful and innocent, and I can’t help myself.
He’s right there, kneeling before me, so I lean forward and slide my tongue through the opening between the snout and the hood and lick up his cheek.
He laughs, and now I’m the one who’s reveling in being able to get to him.
“Looks like Pup Runt’s already looking to be punished,” he says.
I bark, again I can tell it’s not all that convincing, but I have time to work on that…we have time to work on that.