Dare
2 Years Later
We spent almost a year trying to get pregnant. It was hard on us, especially her. I started to wonder if it was a punishment for all I’d done wrong. My penance would be that I wouldn’t be able to give her kids. Maybe the baby Debbie aborted hadn’t been mine. Maybe I couldn’t even father a child.
The doctor said it was my wife that had medical challenges, not me, and that although it wasn’t out of the question, it would likely be difficult to get pregnant.
I was not relieved. She felt like a failure. It was so rough on her that I wished it’d been me that was the problem, because the way she beat herself up over it was hard to watch. If it were my fertility that was the problem, she’d have adapted. It was who she was; always trying to be what I needed.
After several months of trying, a pattern began where she’d be happy three weeks a month and then she’d get anxious, try to hide it, and then be in the dumps when she got her period. Month after month waiting to do pregnancy tests, getting her period despite fucking like jackrabbits.
And then she wanted to talk adoption, surrogacy, being foster parents, something. She had all this love to give and wanted to shower it on children. Our nieces and nephews adored her. She really was finding herself again. Laughing, living, giving me love in a way that I knew I’d never want anyone but her. She spent a lot of time with our nieces and nephews to get her fix, especially Tommy & Tia’s little Carina, who absolutely lit up every time she saw her Auntie Angel. We were the resident babysitters, after Sarah of course.
I wanted to give it more time. I wasn’t against raising kids that weren’t mine biologically or against having our baby carried by someone else, so long as we knew they were healthy and responsible, but we were still young; there wasn’t a ticking timer yet.
I was okay with waiting a couple years to see if we got our own baby the normal way first. I encouraged her to maybe go back to teaching, spending her day with kids, while we waited it out. We got along great. Life was beautiful with just the two of us for now.
She didn’t wanna wait, told me that if we couldn’t get pregnant, there were kids who needed parents now, and I gotta say, it thrilled me to no end when she put her foot down and got in my face about starting right away.
The sass was coming out more and more. More and more I got my sassy cowgirl from that bull riding video. My Angel still had fire outside the bedroom and she felt safe enough to show it to me when it really counted for her.
Of course I relented, bursting into laughter after her fit, which got her upset and made her throw a bigger fit. It was a good sign about her state of mind. She practically melted when I explained that my glee wasn’t over her frustration, rather her ability to let that show. She felt safe with me, safe to be herself. And she was everything I wanted.
Her face was red, “I don’t know what the fuck is so funny about this!”
I’d grabbed her and pinned her on the bed and she didn’t even show a shred of fear, “It’s not funny, it’s fuckin’ amazing.”
“What the fuck is amazing?” she’d snapped.
“Angelbaby, my beautiful wife. You feelin’ safe enough to throw a hissy fit and push to get what you want, to tell me how important something is from you rather than shrinking away with a ‘Yes, Master’. It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful and I’ll do everything in my power to give you whatever it is that you want.”
She melted into me, “Don’t you want it, too?”
“Babies with you? Definitely. If I never get a baby with you, I’m okay with just havin’ you. We’ll be everyone’s favorite aunt and uncle and everyone in the family’ll love us because we’ll offer to take their kids constantly. But if we get to be parents together, biological or otherwise? Yeah. I want that, too.”
I’d give my girl anything I could give her to try to make up for what she’d been through and besides, my queen deserved to have whatever the fuck she wanted in life just because.
We came to a compromise. Fertility drugs for a while to see if anything worked out. If they didn’t, we’d re-group and explore surrogacy or adoption. And if we got our family the natural way, in a couple years we’d seriously consider adopting anyway, to give some kid who needed a family, a family.
She skeptically went on fertility drugs but they worked like a charm; we got our wish. In triplicate.
Triplets on our second month of trying. Close to eight months after getting the news, we got our family. Two boys and a girl. Born early but very healthy.
Our first born: James, after my late brother-in-law Jimmy, with dark blond hair and sapphire blue eyes. He looks like me with his mother’s eyes. We call him Jamie.
Charles David, our little Charlie, after Angel’s Dad’s best friend, middle name after her Pop, he came next. He’s dark blond and blue-grey eyed, also looking like me.
And then we got our sapphire blue-eyed curly red-haired little girl. Darla Shae. Darla, a combination of Dario and Angelica. We got the Shae in short for Shayla after Lisa’s real name.
Leese sold Pop’s house but is still in our lives on an almost weekly basis because she’s become as close to Angel as she is to the other girls. We made her Darla’s godmother. She was thrilled about her secret little namesake.
Leese has started dating and she is heavily involved in fundraising for charities related to helping survivors of human trafficking. She does it quietly, never revealing anything about her personal experience. There may still be eyes on her. She wanted to help the Kruna victims we’d liberated. She couldn’t, of course, because there could be eyes on us, so it was a while before she could do what she wanted, and help other survivors.
We were approached by Stan Smith who approached on behalf of some remaining partners and expressed that we had no concerns whatsoever about her state of mind or her ability to keep her mouth shut.
We were concerned about those questions and considered taking action against Bart Shaw, the guy who I’d suspected was the one that asked. And in fact, I’m fairly certain she got a warning visit, though she won’t, confirm that suspicion she also didn’t deny it when Tommy and I asked her about it.
There has been life after Kruna and after Pop for Shayla Townsend, aka Lisa Ferrano. A good life.
She dated Dex for a little while but it didn’t get too serious. I don’t think she’s ready for serious.
Stan Smith, still in Thailand, handles some of the areas we haven’t yet found our way out of overseas and is definitely earning his hefty retainer.
Our involvement in the demise of Kruna is still a secret as far as we know. A few of the partners are still out there, under the radar, and of course there are members. We’ve been approached more than once about starting up again but we’ve respectfully declined.
The way things went down, it seemed to work out okay. For now. I’m hoping nothing bites us in the asses later.
Tessa and Zack got together about a year after Jimmy died. It took some time for their relationship to progress and he earned respect by saving her from a tight spot that could’ve started a whole other war with me and Tommy and some dangerous people if Zack hadn’t been there to save her from her foray into the BDSM world, which we don’t like to think about, but it happened. Seems that her tour of Fete got her curious about that world but she wasn’t real smart in satisfying her curiosity.
After a bit of drama, they decided to give it a go and now they live together. He’s a good influence on Lucas and Antonio and he makes my sister happy. He and I are tight, I get where he’s coming from and how intricate his business is, why he does what he does. And what he does still benefits the Ferrano family on a fairly regular basis. Tommy busts his chops every chance he gets but that’s my brother. Deep down I know he’s all right with Zack, even if he doesn’t outright say it.
The business? We’ve sold off some more of Ferrano Enterprises. It still exists but it’s much smaller and most of it much cleaner. Mostly.
Some of it, we’ve dissolved. We’ve retained some of the relationships for the sake of history, favors, and protection. Tommy runs the construction company and maintains a few important key relationships that also mean that we occasionally have to do favors in order to have a surplus of markers, but everything else we’re investors, silent partners, get royalties, or we’ve dissolved or sold off. Our dividends from Fete alone could support us. The place rakes in the cash, hand over fist, and Tommy runs the construction company and spends time managing our money. He’s excellent at it.
Me? I’ve got my finger in a couple different pies.
My day-to-day, I bought a small established charter company that has three planes. I fly a few times a week and have pilots on staff. I help Tommy out here and there. I’m still VP of Ferrano Enterprises on paper but I’m only in a suit a couple days a month.
I’ve helped Zack’s PI agency a time or two, as well. We moved out of the condo into a four bedroom house in a great neighborhood with plenty of parks and good schools. We did that as soon as Holly came to stay. She only stayed three months. But that’s another story.
Angel plans to go back to teaching after our kids are in school full-time. She might open her own little Montessori school instead of going back to work at a public school. Life is getting sweeter all the time.
Tia goes to university and she’s working toward her degree in social work, while balancing motherhood and my brother. He wanted her to do online school but she pressed for an on-campus experience and he relented.
Tommy and Tia moved out of the place a few doors from Pop’s a few months after Carina was born. Tommy had a new house built a few streets over from Tia’s foster parents and not far from the foster-grandparents, so Tia could be there to help them on a regular basis.
We all regularly go up to Tommy & Tia’s farm in the summers. They’ve built an addition onto the farmhouse and Tommy bought Tia and Carina horses on Carina’s first birthday. They’re taken care of by a farm down the road and brought over when the Ferranos spend a weekend there. Angel can’t get enough of it and is always lookin’ for an invite up there, so she can ride. Maybe I’ll have to get her a horse for her next birthday…
It’ll be ages before baby Carina can ride on her own, she’s as cute as a button, looking just like Tia but with Tommy’s eyes. Tommy doesn’t care she’s not old enough to ride a horse. She lights up at the sight of it and that’s enough for him.
I joked that he’ll buy her a car for her fifth birthday, but he didn’t see the humor and said his little princess wouldn’t drive, he’d have her chauffeured everywhere, with six bodyguards that’d double as pallbearers for anyone that dared speak to his daughter. That got an eyeroll from Tia. But my brother? Not even joking.
I feel the same way and am glad my baby daughter has two big brothers to watch out for her the way me and Tommy have watched out for Tess and Luciana.
What about Holly and Alessandro?
He came back for her a few months after she came to stay with us. They got married but it was not smooth sailing immediately after their wedding.
But, that’s a long story. Maybe if you hang tight and check back in a little while, you’ll get to hear about how he initially saved her from the world of human trafficking and how she then saved him right back. It was one fuckuva bumpy road.
(hint: Coming soon. Add to your Goodreads ‘to read’ list– http://bit.ly/gr-saved)