Big, built and really cute, he ticked all the boxes. Every last one. Why, then, was she shivering inside the bathroom? Too afraid to come out? What was wrong with her? Nothing. Everything. No, she was an idiot and a complete prude, and in that order. No she wasn’t, there were real reasons why this was so hard for her. She needed to cut herself some slack.

“Have a one-night stand,” Edith had said. “You’ll love it,” she had whispered behind her hand. “You need it.” Then she’d gone on to scrunch up her nose and look at her like she was a lost cause. No matter the prodding for Ana to do this though, Edith had still made it very clear that she was not guaranteed success. None of them were. If you managed to snag one of them, you were lucky. “If only it was guaranteed,” she’d said. Apparently, if Ana could get it right, it’d be the best night of her life. If that was so true, why were her hands shaking and her heart racing? Why did she feel ill? In the end, she knew exactly why, only she didn’t want to think about it right at that moment. She had come a long way. She could do this. Ana hadn’t puked on him and she could still breathe. It was all good. She could still do this. She had to. Sex with another human being. Good sex, if Edith was to be believed, and somehow she knew it was true. The guy in the next room was a dream come true.

Her stomach clenched again, this time accompanied by a tightening feeling. Here she was, catch of the century waiting in the hotel bed, and she wanted to run away.

A knock sounded on the door and she almost jumped right out of her skin.

“You okay?” he sounded concerned. So, this guy was big, built, cute and sweet? A real catch. It didn’t matter because she still felt sick though.

“Fine.” Her voice didn’t sound fine. “I’m coming.”

There was a chuckle followed by. “Not yet you aren’t.” More chuckling. “But you will be soon.” Low and deep. The way he said it should have had her toes curling. Instead, her stomach gave another lurch.

“Okay,” she said, trying a bit harder to sound normal. When she wasn’t normal. A normal woman would be loving the hell out of this. A normal woman would be in that bed having the best sex of her life by now. A normal woman would not have said an idiot thing like ‘okay’ to a statement like that.

Hearing him say that should have had her running out with her arms outstretched. Instead, her stomach gave another lurch.

She could totally leave and blow him off but the thing was, no matter how sick she felt, she had put a lot of work into this night. She was wearing matching underwear. Not only that, it was a new set. The one she had bought months ago but had never worn. It was sexy and red and looked so darned good on her. Also, she’d done her hair and her nails, shaved her legs and her underarms. She’d even gone so far as to wax. The pain had been excruciating but worth it. Her girl bits had never looked so good. She had never looked so good ‒ and yet here she was, hiding. Still fully clothed and shivering like a scaredy cat.

The plan had been to brush her teeth and to take off the dress so that she could present herself in just the underwear and heels. Her breathing picked up, together with her heart rate at the thought of walking out of there half-naked. Her throat felt dry as a bone in the desert. No, drier. Going out there in her undies was not going to happen.

No way.

Ana swallowed hard. Even her hands felt clammy. She could do this. She just needed to go out there and look at him again. Once she got an eyeful, she’d be revving on all cylinders, she just knew it. Okay, she hoped that’s what would happen.

Before she could give herself a chance to overthink it, Ana pushed the door open and strode out into the hotel room like she owned it. “Fake it till you make it,” her granny had always said, and it was as good advice as any.

He was stretched out on the bed. For the life of her, she couldn’t remember his name. Ana had always had this little problem, she forgot things when she was nervous. What’s-his-name had ditched his shirt and was all long limbs and huge muscles. He grinned. With blond hair, the bluest of eyes and dimples from here until next Tuesday, he was the epitome of hot. Yet, all she felt was the slow rolling of her stomach, followed by a hard clench when he tapped his denim-clad lap. What’s-his-name wanted her to straddle him.

No.

No.

No.

There would be no straddling. No sex. No orgasms. What the hell had possessed her to even try this? Oh yes, the fact that she hadn’t had sex in a couple of years. Ever since … Her heart gave a clench and her stupid lip quivered.

“Are you okay?” He frowned and sat up. “You don’t look well.” He sniffed the air. “You do not need to feel nervous. I’m going to take good care of you, I promise.”

“I know that, it’s just …” She clasped and unclasped her hands. “I made a mistake coming here. I was so sure I could do this.” She mumbled to herself, “I’m so stup—”

“Let’s chill for a bit … have a bite to eat, or—”

Ana shook her head. “I guess I’m just not cut out for the whole ‘jump in bed with someone you don’t know’ thing. I’ve never done this before and …” She stopped herself from babbling any more. “I’m so sorry …” Cody! His name was Cody. “Cody, I just can’t.”

“Okay, no problem.” He got up off the bed and she had to crane her head to keep eye contact.

What the hell was wrong with her? It had been years. Years! Surely she could move on. Just thinking it though made guilt flood her.

“You are a lovely female. I only wish it was my name on the list this time round, we may have been able to get to know one another … I’m not talking just sexually, I’m talking from a relationship point of view.” List? What list? The word relationship registered and she started to really feel panicky. It was like the walls were closing in. Her throat felt tight. It was about to happen. Oh flip!

Out.

Now.

“Okay, Cody,” she blurted. “I’m going to go now.”

He nodded. Ana turned on her heel and left. Thankfully the door wasn’t locked. Once outside the room, she put her back to the wood and pushed out a ragged breath. Normally taking a couple of deep breaths helped, but not today. Not even a little bit. She needed to get the hell out of there.

Ana started to jog down the walkway. She would head for the parking lot and call a cab once she got there. Despite being outside, her chest still felt tight, her throat as well. Air! Need air!

One second she was jogging and the next, she was colliding with a wall. Hard and unyielding. The little bit of air she had was pushed out of her lungs and all at once. Something gripped her arms. Come to think of it, the wall was warm.

“Easy,” a deep, rich voice. “Are you alright?” Then he was peeling her off of his chest and looking her over, concern reflected in his eyes. They were big and brown. A light buttery brown. Very beautiful. His hair was a little overgrown and sandy blond.

He was huge, way bigger than Cody. Broad shoulders and thick arms. One of them then.

Her head spun a bit. Must be from all the adrenaline, she thought. That, together with the panic and lack of oxygen, even though her chest was heaving. Although he seemed sweet enough, she still felt the need to get away and to do it now. “I’m fine,” she half-yelled, trying to pull free.

“Hey.” He frowned. “You’re safe. I’ve got you.” His voice was just as beautiful as he was.

It helped to calm her some. This had been such a bad idea. Such a seriously dumb thing to have done. She should have known better. “I must go.” Still laced with some panic. Okay a lot of panic. She could feel that her eyes were wide. “I don’t want this … to be here. I’m not interested in any type of one-night stand and I don’t want a relationship. I just want to go home.” She said it in a rush of words that tumbled out even though he hadn’t asked for any type of explanation. Even though he hadn’t made any kind of demand.

“I understand.” Still the same calm tone. “That’s perfectly fine. I’m not looking for a hook-up and I’m not on the list, so no relationship for me either. I was out for some air. I think,” he narrowed his eyes, seeming to look right through her, “you could use some too.”

That’s when she realized how fast she was breathing. It was worse than before. At this rate, she was going to hyperventilate.