That evening …

Ana parked in her space, just in front of her apartment. It was late. She yawned and rubbed her eyes. Then she grabbed her purse and sucked in a deep breath. She hated this part. It was why she didn’t work late shift much. Her whole body prickled as she got out of the car. She pushed the button to lock the car door and walked towards her building entrance. She had her cellphone in one hand and her keys in the other.

Her phone vibrated. She ignored it and kept walking. Her phone vibrated a second time as she reached the door to the building. Ana glanced at the screen.

Don’t freak out!

It was from Winston; why would Winston send her a message like this? Then she scrolled down and almost dropped her phone.

I’m behind you.

“Winston?” she whispered.

“Yes,” his deep voice punctured the dark. Then he was behind her. Right behind her. So close she could feel his warmth. “It’s me. You’re safe.”

Ana turned and there he was. Tall, oh so very tall. She had to crane her neck to look him in his eyes. His beautiful golden-brown eyes. She’d missed those eyes. She’d missed him so much. She wasn’t sure whether she grabbed him or whether it was he who grabbed her. It might have been both of them at the same time. Next thing she knew, she was wrapped up in his arms though, in the tightest hug, and holding on like she never wanted to let go. A sob escaped. “It’s you.”

“I’ve got you,” his voice was husky with emotion.

“I’m so sorry!” She could feel her eyes tearing up.

“I’m sorry too. I could’ve handled things better, I—”

“No, I had another one of those stupid attacks. I said things I regret. I didn’t mean it …”

“Let’s go inside.” He pulled back, looking her in the eyes. “We need to talk this out. I’ll understand if you panic but you need to understand that I’m not leaving. I’ll stick it out with you. We’ll do this together.”

Warmth flooded her. “Okay … it’s a deal.”

She unlocked the door and they made their way up the stairs and along the hallway. Ana unlocked the security gate and the door and they went inside. She felt safe enough to forgo the deadbolts and the chain and merely pulled the door closed. She was safe with Winston. No one would dare break in or try anything as long as he was there.

“Would you like something to drink?” she asked, walking towards the kitchen. Winston followed. “Something to eat maybe? I’m sure you must be quite thirsty,” she was babbling but couldn’t stop. “You’ve come a long way. So, what have you—”

Winston gripped her hand and squeezed. “I don’t want anything but you.”

Wow! Direct and straight to the point. Don’t panic, Ana.

“You know my feelings,” Winston went on. “I’m in love with you and it’s as simple as that. You’re my Miss Right. The only female I want to be with.”

She squeezed her eyes shut. Her breathing was definitely speeding up and she felt hot all over. “This is moving a bit quick. I’m not sure I can deal with …” She sucked in a few lungfuls of air. Those feelings of guilt returned. “I was so sure I could handle this but now that you’re here … damn, it’s hard.” She looked down at the floor, working hard at staying calm. “Sex? I think so …” She looked him in the eyes. “Friendship ‒ is a definite yes. Working towards more … I can do that too. The thought of a relationship scares me to death though.” She shook her head, feeling lost. Feeling her skin tighten. “I don’t know if I can go there.”

“What are you saying?” He narrowed his eyes. “We were so connected the last time that we were together, that we almost had sex. We were this close.” He held two fingers millimeters apart.

“That was fake. Completely fake. We were fake dating.” She squeezed her eyes closed. What was wrong with her? Why had she said that? It was utter nonsense.

“It wasn’t fake to me.” His voice was deep, his eyes intense and locked with hers. He looked angry and hurt.

She pushed out a breath. “It wasn’t fake to me either. I don’t know why I even said that.” Flip, she could feel the air thin. Ana gulped in a couple of deep breaths. “I need some water. I might need a few minutes to catch my breath.”

“Take all the time you need.” He stayed in the doorway to the kitchen, giving her space. He leaned against the jamb.

Ana grabbed a water, she continued to breathe rhythmically. Do. Not. Panic. She could do this. “Do you want one?”

He shook his head.

“Okay, then.” She took a deep drink, beginning to feel a bit better. “There’s something important I need to tell you. I wasn’t completely honest with you before.” Shit! Edith was right. She needed to come clean before she could move forward.

He didn’t say anything. Just stood there calmly, watching and waiting. There, but without pushing her.

“John was my husband.” There, it was out.

Winston frowned. “You were mated? John?” He shook his head. “Your date? The male who was killed?”

She licked her lips and sniffed, trying hard not to cry.

“I’m sorry!” Winston walked to her and put his arms around her. “I’m so damned sorry. No wonder.”

“We were married for three years. We were out celebrating ...”

Winston nodded, his eyes firmly on her.

“Um …” Her throat tightened and a tear slipped out. “This is hard,” she sniffed.

Winston pulled her into a tight hug. “Take your time.” His voice was thick with emotion. “All the time you need.”

Several minutes passed. “I didn’t tell you because I hate to talk about it.” She paused, another long minute passed. “We were celebrating because …” She bit down on her lower lip for a moment, trying to compose herself. “I was pregnant,” she finally blurted, her voice muffled against his chest. Thank god that was out too! Winston tried to pull away, so that he could look at her, but she held tight. “No, don’t! I had just found out that I was having a boy … we were going to have a little boy.” She made a sobbing noise, breathing deeply to try to keep control. “We were so excited. John decided to take me out to celebrate.” She turned her face into him and sobbed. It still hurt. Four years later and she could still remember it like it happened yesterday. “After it happened, after John was killed and they took his body away, I started having cramps. They rushed me to the hospital. They did everything they could.” She was still crying, her breath coming in gasps.

“Oh, Ana …” Winston held her, he rubbed his hands up and down her back. “I’m so sorry.” He held her tight.

“I lost them both that night. My husband and my baby. My family … my whole world.”

“I’m so fucking sorry,” his voice was choked.

It took a few minutes to compose herself. She pulled away, using her hand to wipe at her face. “I don’t understand why he didn’t listen.” She wasn’t sure where that had come from, or the anger. This was new.

Winston was frowning deeply.

“Why didn’t John just hand the stuff over? They were things. Stupid, replaceable items.” The anger inside of her grew and grew. “The guy was a two-bit criminal!” She was shouting now. “He was more afraid than we were. The gun went off. If John had just cooperated. If only he had listened ‒ he’d still be here. We would have our baby.” The pain was back, it blossomed inside of her. “Why didn’t he just hand it over? Why did he have to fight? Why?”

“He did it because he loved you. He loved both of you.” Winston clenched his jaw, his eyes were tormented. “He was trying to protect his female and his unborn child.”

She was crying again. Enough with these damned tears. “John loved me very much. We’d been trying for over a year for a baby. So, maybe you’re right.” Ana realized how much better she felt. She’d never realized how angry she was. How much she had blamed John for her being alone. For what had happened. “I’ve been holding onto all this anger. I didn’t even realize.”

“It sounds like he was a good male.”

“He was.” She smiled. “He was a good partner.”

“I would have done the same, in a heartbeat ‒ if you were mine. I agree with him on that. I understand if you need time, if you—”

“I need you, Winston. I’m completely and utterly in love with you. Edith and I talked about it but I didn’t realize it until one of your shifter friends brought it up,” she waved a hand, “at the Dark Horse. I was looking for you, I … it isn’t important.”

“That was Ash. My best friend, he was the one you mentioned it to.”

“Did he tell you?”

Winston nodded.

“So you knew,” she gasped. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Winston nodded. “Yeah I knew, but I needed to hear it from you.” He stepped in closer to her, cupped her face in his warm, calloused hands. “I love you so damned much.”

“I’m so sorry. I should never have asked you for sex. It wasn’t because I wanted to use you. I guess I wanted to be closer to you but I didn’t know how.”

“I understand. I was upset, I’ll admit it, but I understand better now.”

“Does that mean we get to have sex now? I might just be able to this time …” Her eyes widened. “I hope.” She looked upwards. “I pray. Can we at least try?”

“No.” He shook his head.

“No?” Her voice was laced with frustration.

Winston chuckled. It was a warm, rich sound. “It could be months before I make the list. It might even be as long as a year. Ash told me it’s coming up, but it could still take time. I’ll only be able to see you on Shifter Nights. With all the shit going on, it might not even be that often.” He turned really serious, frown lines marred his brow. “It wouldn’t be fair to make you wait like that.”

Ana laughed. She rolled her eyes as well for good measure. “A few months? I’ve waited years … you might still have to wait until I’m forty-nine before …” She wagged her eyebrows. “Before we can have sex.”

Winston kissed her softly. “We’ll have to take things really slow then,” he said as he pulled back.

“Not too slow though. I’d like to try that orgasm thing again.”

“Oh, I would fucking love to make you come. I’m going to pick you up now.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

He lifted her off of the ground and kissed her. Then he pulled back. “Would you prefer the sofa or your bed?”

They’d hung out, as friends, on her sofa. “Bedroom,” she whispered, threading her hands around his neck. It was time to step this up.

Winston growled low. He carried her to her bedroom and gently put her down. She lay back. Just like before, Winston pulled the comforter over them. “Light on or off?” He kissed her neck.

Ana moaned softly, feeling his teeth rake over her flesh. “Don’t care,” she blurted. Her breasts felt heavy, her clit throbbed. She knew she was wet.

Winston kissed her until her mind short-circuited. Until her toes curled and her pussy clenched with need.

Winston stroked her through her jeans. Oh god! She moaned. It felt good but it wasn’t nearly enough. She jerked her hips against his hand. It was like they had a life of their own. Then her pants were undone and his fingers were there. She moaned so loudly that her throat hurt. The pad of his finger zoned in on her clit. Her back bowed. Her skin felt tight. She parted her legs as wide as they would go with the stupid jeans in the way. That coiling sensation had already started. She couldn’t catch her breath, but in a good way.

There was a tugging on her jeans as he eased them down her thighs. Then he was raking his teeth over her nipples, right through her sweater. He circled her clit with his finger and she cried out, her hips bucking.

There was a hard shove and her jeans came off one of her legs. “I’m going to put my mouth on you now.” Winston was under the comforter. “Stay calm. Let me know if you feel uncomfortable.”

She had to stop herself from pushing him down where she needed him ‒ and where she needed him was there … right there … right … there. She gave a yell as his hot mouth closed over her nub. Her very sensitive, very needy nub. Winston suckled her for a few seconds before laving her with his tongue. When he sucked her again, he pushed two fingers into her as well. Her skin was so tight that she was sure it was going to split. She was burning up. Tighter, tighter, higher, higher … almost …

She gave another hard cry. Her breathing had been reduced to hard, sharp pants.

Winston stopped and lifted the cover. “Are you okay?”

“No!” she practically shouted.

“What can I do? How can I—”

“More,” she panted. “Please, Winston.”

His eyes widened when he realized that she was fine. Then he grinned. So sexy, so incredibly gorgeous. “No problem,” he murmured. He thrust two fingers into her. His mouth sealed over her clit and she was tickets.

Ana shouted out as everything let go. Pleasure rushed through her. She closed her eyes, her head falling back. She gripped the covers so hard that she was sure she heard a nail crack. Her hips rocked against him.

She finally fell back on the pillows. Winston laved her clit softly as she came down. Ana struggled to catch her breath.

“Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not.” She shook her head wildly from side to side.

He frowned, getting off of her. “What can I do?”

Ana pulled her sweater over her head. Then her shirt. She unclasped her bra. Winston kept his eyes on hers, which was commendable. He swallowed thickly. “We don’t have to do this. We can wait.”

“I don’t want to wait. I want you and you want me. I need this. I need you, Winston.”

“We said we would take it slow.” He looked really worried. It warmed her that he cared so deeply for her.

“We will. We are. We fake dated until we weren’t faking. Now we can date for real … that means sex … lots of sex when you’re here once a month. By the time you’re on that list we’ll be ready to—”

“To make you my Mrs Right,” he said when she let the sentence die.

“I might still struggle a bit at times. It might not all be smooth sailing, but I love you. I want you.”

“You’re sure?” He swallowed again.

“So very, very sure, you have no idea.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really but only if you’re sure too?”

He finally looked down at her breasts. Winston groaned. “I’ve never been more sure in my entire fucking life.” He cupped them in big hands. “So soft and perfect.”

He leaned forward and kissed her softly. When he pulled back, his eyes were glowing a little. It was beautiful. He was beautiful. “I’m too far gone here.” He gripped her hips, his hold firm, even a little rough. “It’s been so long and I want you so damned much.”

“I’m on the pill,” she whispered. “I want you too. Just take me. I’m wet and ready.”

Winston groaned again, deeper and louder this time. His grip tightened for a second and then she was on her knees. He’d flipped her over like she weighed nothing. Winston caged her with his body.

She waited for the panic to set in but it didn’t happen. She felt safe and loved with this shifter. This felt right. “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” her voice was thick with need.

“I’ve had several wet dreams, all involving you, on your knees.”

“Oh, yes.”

“Yes,” he growled the word. “You are so damned beautiful. Better than I imagined.” He palmed her ass with one hand. She heard a zipper go down, felt his thick, heavy cock hit her ass cheek. “You tell me if you can’t take it. If you need me to stop. I can wait … as long as it takes.” His voice was thick and husky. “Tell me.”

A shiver raced up her spine. “Yes?”

“Did you use that dildo like I told you to?”

She broke out in goosebumps. “I did.”

“Good. I’ll take it slow.”

“I want you.” She could hear the certainty in her voice. He must have too because next thing his cock was there. Right there where she needed him.

He rubbed on her clit in lazy circles with his finger, the head of his cock put pressure on her entrance but he didn’t actually breach her. It was like he was testing. Checking.

So sweet.

Ana whimpered. He rubbed her clit a little quicker, using a bit more pressure. “Yes!” She was thrusting her hips, pushing backwards. She leaned down so that her breasts were rubbing against the comforter. Even that felt good. All of her senses seemed heightened.

Winston groaned as he pushed into her. It was his turn to sound out of breath. “Fuck!” he growled. “So good!” he added on another moan. “I need to rut you … hard … please don’t be afraid.” She could feel him shudder.

Excitement coursed through her at the prospect of him doing just that. Then she realized that he was waiting for her confirmation. “Yes,” she sobbed.

He pushed the rest of the way in with a hard thrust.

Ana shouted his name as his balls hit against her. It stung a bit. She’d never been so stretched. So full. Her headboard knocked up against the wall on the next thrust. It hit again and again.

Her throat hurt from all the cries. His finger kept up its soft rub, rub against her clit. It was like she was going out of her mind. It amazed her how he could fuck her so hard and yet touched her so softly at the same time, almost with reverence.

Suddenly, Winston stopped, mid-thrust. He was shaking from head to toe. “Are you okay?” His voice was deep with need.

“I’m fine.” She swallowed thickly. “I’m good.” She was panting hard. “I want more,” she managed to grind out.

The words were barely out and he was thrusting again. The headboard had to be knocking a hole in the wall. Not that she cared. Ana gripped the comforter. She could feel her pussy flutter with the start of her orgasm. If he stopped now, she would die. Her heart would quite literally give in.

“I’m good!” she shrieked. “Oh god … I’m so good!” she yelled. “I’m awesome! Awesome!” She screamed as her pussy began to spasm. She screamed his name as her orgasm took her.

Winston jerked against her, his fingers digging into her hips. He growled low and deep, sounding like a ferocious animal. The sound excited her.

Winston slowed his movements, until he finally stopped. He was breathing hard.

So was she, but in a good way. In the best way. Ana found that she was grinning so hard that her face hurt. “That was amazing. So good.”

He carefully pulled out of her and took her into his arms. Winston kissed her long and deep. “I love you so much,” he said as he released her; he was grinning as well.

“You fixed me.” Her voice was filled with awe.

“You talk such shit.” He swept the hair from her face. “There was nothing to fix. You were perfect to begin with.” He kissed the tip of her nose before rolling on top of her.

“We can’t cuddle.”

“Why not?” Her voice was husky.

“Because you can still talk.”

She frowned. “Yeah and … that’s a bad thing?”

“Very bad. You shouldn’t be able to talk or walk.”

* * *

He spun her around so that Ana was on top. She squealed. “This has been another fantasy of mine.”

“I’ve had a few of my own,” she said, looking at him through her lashes. Her lips were swollen. Her breasts were amazing. Perfect mouthfuls he planned on sampling every chance he could get.

“Have you now?” He raised his brows.

Ana nodded. “I thought of you every time I used that dildo.” She slid forward so that her pussy was flush with his dick.

He groaned, feeling how wet she was.

“You’ll have to show me sometime,” he rumbled. “Right now, I want you on my cock.”

Her pupils dilated. Ana lifted and he positioned himself at her entrance. She slowly dropped onto his length. So fucking tight, it almost blew his mind.

Then she began to move. Slipping and sliding all over his dick. Up and down. Her eyes were glassy with lust. Her little breasts bounced.

Winston gripped her hips and fucked her from below. He angled his hips until she cried out. There! Then he licked his thumb and gently rubbed on her clit.

Ana’s head fell back and she gasped. She was moaning with every thrust. He could feel that she was close so he eased off of her clit. He wanted to draw out her pleasure.

“So good,” she ground out. “Oh god.”

She was a vision. Her hair loose. Her cheeks flushed. Her eyes glassy with pleasure. Her nipples tight. Winston sucked his finger and moved to a sitting position, scooting to the headboard. He widened his legs a tad, continuing to thrust. It didn’t take him long to find that spot. Her moans became louder. Her breathing ragged. Her breasts rubbed his chest. Hard and soft.

Her eyes were wide.

“You trust me?”

She nodded. “Yes.” A moan.

“Good.” He pushed the tip of his finger into her ass and she went off like a rocket.

Ana shouted his name, squeezing the fuck out of him. Two thrusts later and he was coming too. He grit his teeth, which had partially erupted. He needed to keep his canines far away from her during sex. All he wanted was to mark her. Take her. To make her his. Soon. Very fucking soon.

Winston growled low as he came, pulling her close. Ana called his name a second time, whispering it a third as she fell against him. He cradled her in his arms.

“I thought you were full of shit,” she slurred her words. “About the whole butt thing,” she added, still trying to catch her breath. She giggled, sounding out of breath.

“Oh that.” He chuckled, slipping out his finger. “That was nothing. Just wait until I bite you.”

She shivered in his arms.

Winston rolled her over and hoisted her legs onto his shoulders.

“Again?” She gave him the sweetest smile. Her eyes were hazy. “You can’t be serious.”

He began to move and she moaned. “Oh yeah, I take fucking very seriously.”

She tensed up. “I thought you were done fucking.”

“Meaningless fucking. I’m only just getting started on you though.”

“Oh good, but … I don’t think I can.” She moaned again.

“Oh yes, you can.” He found her clit.

Ana groaned, low and deep. “Maybe.”

“Definitely.” But Ana was moaning too loudly to answer him.