Forty-Five
I can still feel his hands everywhere…hear the sounds he made…
Lying on her side, tangled with Ben in her twin bed, Riley watched him capture breaths and then gently set them free, each exhale from his lips faintly scented like mint toothpaste. He looks innocent, so peaceful. She had lost track of time, mesmerized by the occasional flutter of his dark eyelashes and the sleepy smiles that curved his mouth. His hair rebelled against the pillow, soft and messy. Bae-watch: my new favorite show.
The bright glow creeping around the edges of her curtain and the hush on the street below suggested that maybe it was six-thirty, seven o’clock at the latest, but Ben showed no hints of waking, holding her close even in slumber. We’re a human pretzel! Riley’s gaze happily strayed from his slightly parted lips to the sweep of dark hair on his chest, grown back from his short-lived stint as a stripper.
He was so lost on stage, fumbling and falling…nervous. Riley nuzzled into his chest and stifled her giggles, aware that the slightest shake could wake him up. He didn’t have performance anxiety last night…or this morning. Her eyes drifted down to his abs, where her hand lingered, entwined with his long fingers. Ben’s still holding my hand. He never let go.
Her attention shifted to the sheet and duvet bunched up near the bed’s edge then back to her right leg flung lazily over his thigh where he dug into her leg. Not all of Ben is asleep.
“Riley…?” A raspy whisper rustled her hair. “You awake?”
She tilted her head, meeting his eyes. “Yeah. I couldn’t sleep.”
“Aww.” A small yawn escaped his lips and he blinked like he had been lost to the world for days, not a few hours. “You should’ve woken me.”
And miss out on watching you sleep? Never. “You were down for the count.”
“Is it any wonder? You were insatiable…” Pulling her tight, his smile pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead. “And perfect.” He ducked below her jaw, leaving wet, openmouthed kisses along her neck. “So…” The little word hung in the air, cheeky yet heated. To underline its meaning, Ben released her hand and cupped her breast, his thumb lovingly circling her nipple, coaxing it to harden. “Riley?”
“Ben?” She inhaled sharply, goose bumps rising on her skin.
“Wanna go again?” His tongue slipped into the sensitive spot above her collarbone and Riley gasped, his lips sucking, teeth gently biting as he pressed into her.
I’m insatiable? He could drill a hole in the wall, he’s so hard. “Yeah!” She quivered, an ache waking between her thighs. Her mind scrambled to form words before they floated away like a soapy bubble on a sunny day. “B-But…we need to talk…”
The kisses stopped and he lifted his head, the twin bed offering nowhere to hide. “Yeah.” He sighed. “We do.” He rubbed his eyes and sat up, pulling the sheet and duvet over them. Lying down again, he propped himself up on an elbow, ready to listen.
“I’ve been thinking and…I can’t be mad at you for…” She swallowed. “You were single, I was engaged. I had no claim on you. I barely knew you.”
Ben nodded, in no rush to jump in.
“But once we became friends and you found out I knew Leia, you should’ve told me. Last night was a shock. It was so…public.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry. I hate that I embarrassed you like that.” He scrunched his eyes. “And TV people were there…”
“They don’t know me, they won’t remember me. But Erika and her friends…I hate being gossiped about.” She twisted her mouth. “It hurt, Ben, finding out like that. We talked about Leia at the diner, the night of the bachelorette, and you didn’t say anything.”
“I thought about it, but you said that you weren’t close friends and…we were getting along so well, making pinky promises, talking dyslexia—stealing spoons…” A grin flirted with his lips and then disappeared. “I was afraid if I said something, you wouldn’t want anything to do with me. I didn’t want you to think I was some…” He exhaled heavily. “Fuckboy wanker.” Glancing down, his eyelashes beat slowly. “You called me a fuckboy in Times Square, but…I get it. I haven’t really done anything to make you think otherwise, but after last night, after the last few weeks”—he met her eyes—“I hope you’ll revise your opinion of me. Last night wasn’t just sex, Riley. Not for me.”
“It wasn’t for me either.” She rolled closer, tracing her finger along his bottom lip. He covered her hand in his and kissed her fingers softly. “I have a confession.”
“Yeah?” He kissed her hand again and lowered it to his chest, holding it tight. “That I’m the best lover you’ve ever had, right?”
You are! “Maybe.” Nose to nose, she blushed. “I’ve liked you since that night you stayed over.”
“Ooh, well, it was my dedication to oral hygiene that hooked ya, wasn’t it? Or…my exemplary toast-making skills?”
Riley played with a tuft of hair sticking up at his temple. “Any guy who wears Santa socks, loves peanut butter like I do, and well, listens.”
Ben began a flurry of tiny kisses around her lips. She shifted closer, her mouth demanding something deeper. Cupping her face, Ben willfully gave in and melted into her. He pulled back slowly, a cheeky smile still close enough to kiss.
“You like me, eh?” He raised an eyebrow. “Birthday wishes DO come true.”
“What was the other wish? You had two.”
“Actually, it hasn’t come true yet, so…” He mimicked zipping his lips and burst into a grin. “Riles, I’ve never met anyone like you.”
“In a good way, right?”
“Yeah, in a good way. I fancied you from the minute I saw you, but getting to know you, watching you help people, help me?” He kissed her nose and hovered over her lips. “That did me in. I was a goner. You’re beautiful inside and out.”
“So, why the big friend speech at the diner?”
“I felt like I had to draw a line because you loved Josh—or I thought you did. I would’ve eaten my words if I’d known about your breakup. Why didn’t you stop me and tell me you were single?”
“You kinda sold the whole friends thing like a done deal. I thought if I said something, I’d just embarrass myself. I know what it’s like when someone likes you and you don’t feel the same way. It happened to me in high school and ruined the friendship. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.” Her fingers stroked his hip.
He exhaled a heavy breath. “You know, the minute you told me about dumping him, I had to fight the urge to grab you for a kiss right there! But—and now this feels stupid—I didn’t know if you were into me. Then once we were up on that rock and I found out about your mom, it didn’t seem right to crack on to you. I reckoned you needed a friend more than…well, this”—he waved his hand back and forth—“especially with everything you had going on. I almost kissed you on my birthday, but…” He shrugged. “I panicked. Then, I kicked myself for letting the moment go. I hoped if you did like me, you’d find a way to tell me, and lucky for me, you did!”
How ’bout a reminder? Riley’s hand slid off his hip to where he waited, hard and ready.
“Oh, yes…please.” He growled as she kissed his neck. “Keep telling me, again and again.” His eyes fluttered closed and his mouth covered Riley’s, kissing her deeply.
CLICK! The door flung open.
They broke apart and Ben yanked the covers up to their necks.
“Rye, your phone’s off, so I got breakfast burritos—” Piper spotted Ben’s green and red candy cane socks on the floor and her eyes shot to the bed. “Holy FUCK!” She burst out in a bellyaching laugh, spitting out her gum. “Christmas came and…so did you!”
“Pip!” Riley hid her reddening face in Ben’s neck. “Why are you back so early?”
“Hiya, Pip.” Ben raised a sheepish hand.
“Cicely’s grandma took her for brunch—she’s trying to see Cice as much as she can before she leaves for London. Her grandmother’s vegan so—yuck. Besides, I didn’t think this”—her eyes scanned the discarded mess of clothes, the condom wrappers, and the balled-up throw on the floor—“would be going down!”
“I hope you bought enough for three.” Ben smirked.
“Jeez, it’s about fucking time, you guys!” Piper dumped the takeout bag on the floor and climbed the ladder, ducking around the strings of fairy lights to raise her hand for two embarrassed high fives.