Twenty-Nine

Riley’s heart melted as quickly as the vanilla ice cream collecting in the holes of her warm Belgian waffle. “I can’t believe you brought me here.” Her eyes climbed the twisty trunk of a real African acacia tree looming overhead. Its branches and leaves stretched towards the high ceiling, mingling with the other trees to create a magical forest canopy inside The Garden, the Four Seasons Hotel’s restaurant. This place is otherworldly and so expensive. Josh hates places like this. He’s trying…he’s really trying!

“I want today to be memorable.” He pointed his fork at the enormous trunk next to their table. “I wonder how fast those trees grow? Bet Erika knows.”

Riley held her breath. “Is she here?” With her recent promotion, Erika had been working more weekends to make herself as visible to upper management as possible. “Did she arrange this reservation?”

“You kidding? She’d show up and talk non-stop about her wedding. No way—today is about us.”

Thank God. Riley exhaled quietly. I can do without Erika spazzing out. She cut a bite-sized chunk of waffle and swirled it through the merging pools of ice cream and maple syrup on her plate, catching an eyeful of her sunny yellow Kate Spade dress. Even though it was secondhand, it was the most expensive piece of clothing she owned. I’m glad I dressed up.

Fussing with his tie, Josh nodded at her plate. “Make sure you eat up—you’ll need lots of energy for ring shopping and for what I have planned later!” He dug into his egg white frittata stuffed with spinach and broccoli. Grilled turkey bacon and a bowl of steel cut oatmeal sat in reserve alongside his coffee. He reached into his jacket pocket. “I was going to make you wait, but…”

“But?”

He handed over his phone, a grin creeping through his scruff. “Check out this email.”

Another surprise! Without hesitation, Riley began reading.

He didn’t… The hot chocolate in Riley’s stomach curdled. She read it again quickly. Yep, he did.

“Pretty cool, huh?” Josh leaned over his breakfast. “I got chatting with this TV guy after the championship and when I said my fiancée was into hockey and graduating from Tisch, he told me about this job. He says the interview is a formality. Job’s yours!”

Yeah, a job YOU want me to have—in Minnesota. Her smile waned.

“Your degree can be put to use right away. I told you, didn’t I? I got this, babe. I’ll take care of everything.”

“You did.” She set his phone down on the table. “But you shouldn’t have gone to this trouble.”

“Oh, it was no trouble.” He smirked, picking up his coffee. “It’s who ya know, not what ya know!”

She lifted her fork and batted a blueberry around the flooded waffle. “But being a PA in a news department—”

“It’s sports, Riley.” Josh’s eyebrow peaked along with his tone. “You love sports.”

“I do, but it’s the sports desk in a news department. It’s a great job…for someone else.”

“What?” He frowned, resting his cup on the table. “You’re turning it down?”

“Josh, I’ve spent four years preparing to work in production making sitcoms or dramas. This job’s in sports television—that’s broadcasting. Production and broadcasting are two different things.”

He jabbed his fork into his frittata. “Well, you have to start somewhere.”

“I know, but this job is starting at the other end of the spectrum. It’s like I’ve been studying German and you’re expecting me to speak Chinese.”

“I think you’re exaggerating. He knows you’re clever. An NYU graduate? Come on! He said what you don’t know, you’ll learn on the job.”

“It’s not a question of learning—of course I’d get the hang of it—but it’s not what I want. I told you ages ago, I want to try California.”

Josh dropped his fork, his head tipping back as he closed his eyes. “Ryyye! You’re expecting me to walk this back? Do you know how bad that looks for me? This guy will be covering my career from day one.”

“So that’s what this is? I’m supposed to take this job to make you look good? I didn’t ask you to do this—you went behind my back!”

“Rye—”

“This is exactly what I was worried about—my career taking a back seat to yours—and now you’ve proven me right.” Maggie’s words ricocheted in her head. “It’s hard watching your husband do what he’s always wanted, while your dreams stay on the shelf.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it. I wanted you to have something of your own when we moved to Saint Paul to keep you busy, so you wouldn’t feel homesick or lonely. That’s it! Jesus, you make me sound like a manipulative asshole.”

If the shoe fits… Staring back at him, she crossed her arms. “For TWO years, I’ve talked about finding a production job in California. Nice to know you listened.”

“Look, can we discuss this later?” He picked up his cup, lowering his voice. “I don’t want to spend today arguing.”

“I don’t either, but you can’t expect me to do cartwheels about a job I would never apply for in the first place. TV jobs might all sound the same to you, but they’re not. It’s like me drafting you to play goal when you’re a center!”

“Okay, okay, I get it.” He gulped his coffee and returned it to the table, his tone conciliatory. “He won’t be in the office again until Monday, so…forget it for now. I’ll take care of it.”

Fork aloft, he leaned forward, stabbing a slice of bacon. His follow-through bumped his coffee, tipping it over at the table’s edge and spilling its milky contents into the lap of his suit trousers. “Shit!” The restaurant’s attention fell on Josh, his cheeks reddening above his clenched jaw.

Oh, great. Riley leapt to her feet and leaned across the table, using her napkin to prevent more coffee from slopping onto his lap.

Their waiter rushed over without hesitation. “Sir, may I help?”

Standing up, Josh slapped his soaked napkin on the table. “Where’s the restroom?”

“Follow me.” The waiter led Josh and his frown away.

Riley smiled tightly at the next table, waiting for them to mind their own business. She toyed with the blueberries on her plate, piling them into the soggy holes of her neglected waffle, and flipped over her phone. Several texts waited. Maggie’s was first.

All good for tomorrow lunch? Will be nice to see Josh. x

She typed quickly, hitting send. We’ll be there around noon. x

The second text was Ben’s, another ‘4 Riles!!!’ playlist attachment. She opened it, finding “The Sun Only Shines on TV” and “Dancing with Myself” by Billy Idol. An amused giggle erupted from her throat, drawing disapproving stares back to their table. What? Riley side-eyed the nosey diners then stared at Josh’s abandoned breakfast. Ben texts and I laugh. When was the last time Josh made me laugh out loud? I can’t remember. She slouched, shame pulling her down. He’s your fiancé, Riley…get it together. She left her phone face down and cut into her waffle.

A phone buzzed again. She flipped it over, but the screen was dark. Oh, it’s Josh’s. She sat back, ignoring it, but it erupted into the full operatic chorus of Queen’s “We Are the Champions”, drawing more indignation from nearby diners. Shit! Make it stop. She reached across the table, spotting a number she didn’t recognize.

“Hello? Josh King’s phone.”

“Hi…who’s this?” asked the male voice.

“Riley, Josh’s fiancée.”

“Riley! Hi! It’s Mitch Quindry, Josh’s agent?”

“Oh, hi! Sorry, I didn’t recognize the name.”

“Yeah, I lost my phone so I’m using my wife’s. Listen, can you give Josh a message? Can you let him know we’re all systems go for the interview tomorrow? It’s the NHL rising stars piece.”

“Rising stars, cool.”

“Yeah, Sports Illustrated will add it to their NHL preview before rookie training camp.” Mitch’s smile was apparent even over the phone. “It will raise Josh’s profile at just the right time.”

Sports Illustrated—again? Riley nodded enthusiastically. “Wow, it’s amazing they want to interview him again.”

“Again? No, it’s the first time.”

What? Riley blinked. “I thought he spoke to them after the championship.”

Mitch snorted. “Hell no!”

Josh…lied? Riley’s stomach pulled into a knot.

“All press engagements wrapped the night of the win, which was a good thing.” He chuckled. “I wouldn’t have let press anywhere near them with the state Josh and the guys were in down in Vegas!”

Vegas? Josh was in VEGAS—when I was looking after Mom? He said he couldn’t fly home! His words from FaceTime bubbled up. “Sorry I can’t be there…too many commitments…” Commitments? Yeah, drinking, gambling, and God knows what else. She tried to swallow, but the lump in her throat wouldn’t budge.

“Riley?” Mitch’s phone crackled. “We’re about to go through the Holland Tunnel. So, you’ll tell Josh—1 P.M. tomorrow, Chelsea Piers?”

“Yep, got it.” She spat out the words and slammed Josh’s phone onto the coffee-stained tablecloth.

• • •

“Can you imagine—me in Sports Illustrated? How crazy is that?”

It took every inch of Riley’s restraint not to kick the coffee-colored bullseye on Josh’s crotch.

Crossing Madison Avenue in silence, she didn’t budge from her path on East 57^th Street, her pinched eyebrows and determined stride forcing oncoming pedestrians to veer around her and Josh. Yeah, get out of my way. I am NOT being pushed around today. She gave Josh a slip of side-eye behind her sunglasses and wrapped her arms around her waist, hiding her clenched fists. Do you think I’m THAT stupid? I wouldn’t remember you mentioning Sports Illustrated last month? Her pulse, spurred on by adrenaline, pounded in her ears, each word leaving Josh’s lips fanning the heat rising in her chest.

“Thanks for taking Mitch’s call.” He glanced down at his trousers, pulling her Strand tote over his crotch. “And for letting me use your bag—hide this damn stain!”

Her smile was tight, barely opening to release her statement. “You’re good at that.”

“What—hiding stains?” He chuckled.

“Hiding things.” She stared straight ahead.

“Huh?”

Riley grabbed his arm, tugging him through the busy foot traffic into the quiet alcove beside the mammoth Tourneau TimeMachine store, the large Rio de Janeiro clock’s second hand clicking over their heads. “Why didn’t you tell me about Vegas?” You lied to me!

“Vegas?”

“Mitch told me—on the phone. You went to Vegas after the NCAA win. I thought you were in Grand Forks. You lied!”

“Aw, Rye, I didn’t lie.” He winced. “I just didn’t…tell you.”

“Bullshit. By not telling me, you lied. Same diff.” As the words left her mouth, guilt pinched her gut. I haven’t told him about hanging out with Ben, but…what’s there to tell? We’re friends, that’s it.

“I guess, yeah, but it was spur of the moment. You know what the guys are like! They get an idea and…” He shrugged. “Before I knew it, we were on the plane, drinking and celebrating, and as soon as we landed, it was casinos non-stop.”

Riley crossed her arms.

“Babe, it was just the guys.” His sheepish grin belittled Riley’s annoyance. “I’d never cheat on you. You know that.”

He’s not taking this seriously. “This isn’t about cheating!”

“Then, what is it about?” Tilting his forehead back, he wound his arms around her waist. “Look, I’m sorry I went away—”

“It’s not that you went away. It’s that you didn’t come back.” She batted away his embrace, raising a confused look on his face. “You chose to stay in Vegas instead of flying home to support me! Mom got devastating news and what? You thought, she’s been diagnosed three times before, Riley’s an expert at this by now. What the FUCK, Josh?!?” Her raised voice drew furrowed glances from people walking past. “Why didn’t you leave?”

“I didn’t leave because…because…”

“Because, because—WHAT?!”

“All the guys were there and…I don’t know! It was our last chance to party as a team.” He shrugged.

She threw her hands up. “You’re so unreliable and selfish. You only care about what Josh wants, what Josh needs. Vegas, that stupid TV job—it’s the same old story.”

“Come on, that’s not—”

“I was crying my heart out and you weren’t there for me. You could’ve come home but you didn’t. Drinking and gambling with the guys was more important to you.”

“Babe, I made the wrong decision, okay? I can’t undo what I’ve done, but you have my word, it won’t happen again.” He glanced over his shoulder toward East 57^th Street. “I thought…I’d be in the way. I’m not comfortable with hospitals and talking about health things like you are.”

“I wasn’t going to ask you to insert a catheter, for fuck’s sake. If you really cared about me, you wouldn’t ghost me when I need you. My dad did that to Mom and I can’t—I refuse to follow in her footsteps.”

“Baby, you won’t. Come here.” He pulled her into a tight hug. “I’m sorry. Look, how about we surprise your mom with the ring tonight? We’ll get takeout, have my parents over, make it just family—how’s that sound?”

Riley tensed in his arms.

“Okay?” He eased the embrace and smiled. “Come on, let’s go get your ring.”

Returning to the bustling sidewalk, Josh rambled on about diamond clarity and color grades, but Riley wasn’t listening.

Showing up unannounced with a massive bouquet of flowers…

Splurging on breakfast in a fancy hotel…

He wants to surprise Mom with the ring…

Lovely gestures…but they’re not selfless acts of love. They’re manipulative strategies to keep me complacent, to get me to do what HE wants. This is a losing battle. I’m swimming against a riptide. As the reality of his actions sank in, Riley’s throat closed, her stunted breaths making her woozy, unstable. She stopped, frozen in place.

Josh turned around. “Babe?”

“I-I can’t.” A tornado of fear and doubt whirled in her stomach, tearing apart everything she had planned.

He looked confused. “Can’t…?”

It was like Riley had pulled a thread and everything started to unravel. “I can’t do this. The ring…” Her vision began to blur. I can’t look Mom in the eye wearing a $25,000 lie on my finger.

“You okay, Rye? You wanna go another time?”

I’m sorry, Mom. I can’t pretend, I can’t do this…even if…if it means…oh, God! A sour taste rose in her tight throat. “Josh, I’m calling off the engagement.”

“What?” His jaw dropped. “Babe, I know you’re upset about Vegas but—”

“It’s more than that.” Her words had a life of their own, each one fighting to be heard and tearing her heart in two for her mom, for herself. “I don’t want to move to Minnesota. I don’t want to give up my dream. I’ve worked too hard—”

“Babe, we’ll talk about the job and everything will be fine. We’ll work all that out—”

“It’s not enough. I don’t…” She bowed her head, holding back, but her truth had its own momentum and wouldn’t be silenced—not anymore. Grabbing fistfuls of her hair, Riley met his confused stare. “I don’t love you anymore.” The words, once released, didn’t make her feel any better. She had escaped one cage but wandered into another—alone with Maggie.

His jaw clenched like her words had smacked him across the face. “Jesus. Are you fucking kidding me? Where’s this coming from?”

“I’ve felt it…for a while. We’ve been drifting apart, arguing—you know we have.”

“Yeah, because we’re apart all the time—that’s the problem! Who wouldn’t start to have doubts? But once we’re together again, it’ll be just like old times.”

Shaking her head, her fingers rubbed her brow. “The distance isn’t just physical. It’s emotional.”

“What?” His eyes narrowed. “There’s someone else?”

“No…I mean, yes.” She laid her hand over her heart. “Not a guy, Josh—me. I need to be honest with myself. I’ve been pretending everything’s fine for months now, pretending us getting married is what I want, but…it’s what you want.” She gulped a breath. “I’m exhausted and worried about Mom, stressed about life after graduation. So many things are changing all at once. I guess that’s part of growing up, but I feel like I’m going to lose it at any second.”

“I know things are scary, and I’ll help you through it. I know I haven’t been there for you as much as I should’ve, but I’ll try harder.” He clasped her hand. “I will. I really will.”

She shook her head. “Josh, we want different things in different cities. And you deserve to be with someone who loves you. I’m sorry, but that’s not me anymore.” She pried her hand away, hiding it in a pocket, out of reach.

“Look, let’s talk about this at your place…”

I know how this will go. He’ll stroke my hair, talk about when Dad left, how he was there for me—but that was then, and this is now. So much has changed and it’s too late to go back! Riley met his pained gaze. “Josh…”

“Forget the engagement.” He nodded quickly. “We can take it slow, just date…”

I never wanted to hurt him. “No, Josh! Please…it’s over.”

Those two words woke him up like smelling salts at the ice rink. Blinking, he swallowed slowly, the realization sinking in. “Wow…so you…there’s nothing I can say to change your mind, is there…”

She fought back tears. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m just…” Josh cleared his throat and looked away, his hand skimming his beard. “Well, I’ll…need to grab my shit from yours, then.”

Riley nodded, waves of nausea making her hesitant to move an inch.

Josh didn’t linger. He strode toward Fifth Avenue and hailed a taxi.