Sixty-Five

Two and a half weeks later

Fresh from a celebratory afternoon wandering around the MoMA with Riley, Maggie beamed as she dug into her small strawberry cheesecake ‘Blizzard’ in the Staten Island Ferry Terminal’s Dairy Queen. “Six months post-transplant and I finally feel like life’s returning to normal.”

“A year ago, things were so different.” Riley chewed a peanut butter cup from her frozen treat.

“Like night and day. My energy and appetite are back, my new job stars next week—I can’t wait to earn a paycheck again.” Maggie placed her hand over her daughter’s. “And that crowdfunding money—it’s taken away so much worry. I couldn’t be more thankful.”

Riley smiled at her phone, Ben’s most recent ‘4 Riles’ playlist addition front and center: “I Melt With You” by Modern English. Well, job done, Benjamin—I actually like eighties music now.

“Want to try Ben?”

“Yeah. He should be home.” Riley tapped his contact info. “I know he wants to congratulate you!” She propped her phone against a napkin dispenser and scooted over to her mom’s side of the booth. The live FaceTime feed opened to Ben in his bedroom.

“Hey! Working girl!” He laughed. “Staten Island’s loss is New Jersey’s gain! Congrats on the new marketing gig, Maggie. That’s brilliant!”

“Thanks! I’m dreading the switch from jeans and sneakers to nylons and heels, but I’m also grateful for the chance to complain about it!”

“Damn straight! I’m glad my liver’s behaving itself.” He chuckled. “Here’s to our six-month anniversary—I might have a proper celebratory drink tomorrow.”

“You’ve earned it, sweetie,” said Maggie.

“And…” Riley bounced in her seat. “Mom’s cancer-free.”

Ben leaned forward, his smile out of control. “You got the all clear?!”

“Not in so many words, but there’s no sign of any cancer, so they’re calling it a remission. I’ll still have regular checkups, but they seem optimistic I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.” Maggie smiled.

“Amazing!” Ben sat back, elated. “I’m two for two—that was my second birthday wish, you being well again.”

“Really?” Riley couldn’t stop grinning.

“Well, it worked, and I’m enjoying each day as it comes.” Laughing, Maggie waved her ice cream teasingly at the phone’s camera.

“Blimey.” Ben licked his lips. “What I wouldn’t give to be tucking into that! What did you get, Riles? Peanut butter something? When you visit, I’ll take you to one of those ‘freakshake’ places.”

“Those loaded milkshakes on your Instagram?”

“Yep, with the brownies, Oreos, pretzels—all stuffed in. Don’t show Piper—she’ll get cavities just looking at them.”

“Oh, we are SO going there on my first day!”

“Yeah?” He chuckled.

“I’m serious.”

“I pity the fool that comes between you and your desserts!”

“Well, step aside, Fagan.” Riley couldn’t hold back, the words racing from her lips. “Work might be sending me over there!”

His eyes widened. “Work? Oh my God, for real? How?”

“You know Elstree Studios, the huge production place outside London?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, the BBC is taking someone from here for a six-month placement. It’s an assistant’s position, like I have here, but the idea is that we’d learn more about the company, cultivate new relationships, and then bring that knowledge back home.”

Ben blew out his cheeks. “Jeez, that’s just…if you got it…”

“I know! So, I’ve been working stupid hours, trying to get noticed. I didn’t say anything earlier because everyone’s applying for it and my chances are slim—I didn’t want to get your hopes up.”

Maggie nodded.

“But I’m doing everything I can to be with you, Ben. I even got my passport! It arrived last week, so I’m ready to jet out—if I get it!”

“Oh, Riles!” Ben cleared his throat. “That’s…great. Wow!” He sat back and fidgeted with the strings on his hoodie.

Why is his smile stiff? Isn’t he happy?

“When would you be over?”

“Soon—spring, if it happens. I’ll know this week.”

“That soon, eh? That’s grand! Erm, will they put you up somewhere or…?”

Or? Riley squinted, waiting for him to continue, but he didn’t. This is when you offer for me to stay with YOU, Ben. “I don’t know all the details yet—”

“I’d love for you to stay here, but Spencer’s flat…it’s so cramped, you know?” Ben looked away, his eyes skimming his room. “I don’t even have a closet. My clothes are crammed in my suitcase…” He shook his head. “You can’t swing a rat-cat in here.” He chuckled nervously. “Uh, I could ask Alex. Maybe you can stay in their spare room? You’d have privacy and a lot more space…”

He wants to pawn me off on his friends…what the fuck? Why doesn’t he want me there with him? Is he not telling me because Mom’s here? “I don’t need tons of space, Ben. You’ve seen where I live—”

“Sweetheart…” Maggie’s eyes darted from Ben fidgeting on his bed to Riley’s confused frown. “Why don’t we wait and see if you get it, and then you can figure out all the details?”

Ben’s nod dissolved into a yawn.

Maggie patted her daughter’s arm. “There’s no point asking Alex or doing anything until we know.”

Ben yawned widely again. “Sorry! I’m just…knackered. Two jobs…” He rubbed his eyes. “Riley, I really hope you get it, love.”

You’re not acting like it. Riley stared into her dessert and closed her eyes, hoping her mom—but most of all, Ben—wouldn’t spot the tears of disappointment threatening to dampen her lashes. His loving words from the airport swirled in her head, mocking her.

“When you feel sad, just close your eyes and remember…”

Right now, though, Riley wondered—was Ben forgetting?

• • •

Seeking comfort in pajamas and a fuzzy blanket, Riley curled up on Maggie’s foldout couch and settled in for the night. Eyes puffy, she typed out a text to Ben but then deleted it. I’m still too upset. She opened her laptop and dove into work emails. How does one day off trigger an avalanche of messages? She scrolled through, accepting requests for meetings and confirming her boss’s travel itinerary for a TV festival in Banff. As she flagged some emails, a three-word subject line sent her pulse into a sprint.

Elstree Studios Placement

Riley bit her cheek and opened her boss’s message.

Forget butterflies, Riley had the cast of The Birds flapping inside her belly. I’m afraid to look. She took a deep breath and read on.

Oh. My. God. She read it again, in case the emotional exhaustion of the day was making her hallucinate. No, it’s real—the job’s mine. London’s mine! Her hand trembled as it met her mouth. I wish Mom were awake. I wish Ben wasn’t being weird. Shit! I really need to tell someone…Pip! I’ll Skype her…

She answered right away, a wet towel twisted into a beehive atop her head. “Hey! Sorry I didn’t answer your text earlier—I was elbow-deep in glue and feathers most of the day! Great news about your mom, huh? Remission! Thank God!”

“Yeah. Couldn’t have come at a better time.”

Pulling her bathrobe closed, Piper pressed her lips together. “You okay?” She angled closer to her computer screen. “Your face is weird…what’s up?”

“I just found out…I got the London placement.”

“WHAAAAT?!” Piper bounced up and down in her chair, her wet towel wobbling. “Holy shit, Rye! You’ll get to see Ben!”

Riley’s grin slipped. “Well, I’m glad you’re excited…he sure as hell isn’t.”

“He’s not?” Grimacing, Piper halted her Tigger impression. “This is Benjamuffin Fagan, right? Didn’t his brain explode with happiness?”

“Nope. We were FaceTiming this afternoon, before I knew the Elstree thing was mine…I said I might be moving over, and he rattled off these weird excuses why I couldn’t live with him—”

“Oh, Rye!” Wincing, Piper rubbed her forehead. “Did you ask to move in?”

“No, but why didn’t he…you know…offer? If he’s missing me as much as he says—”

“Rye, stop! All this long-distance shit has warped your brain.”

“No, it hasn’t!”

“It has! Look, don’t hate me, but I agree with Ben. I know you shacked up post-op, but it’s wayyy too soon to live together properly. You’ve only been dating for like, eight months or something—and half that time, you’ve been on opposite sides of an ocean.” Piper popped open a box of Pocky; the chocolate-coated sticks were her favorite Japanese snack.

“I know, but—”

“And doesn’t he live in a dump with some girl and her cat?”

Riley pouted. “Yeah, Spencer.”

Piper snapped a cookie stick in half, chewing through her response. “I remember him saying her flat was barely big enough for one person. Rye, it’s cramped as fuck.”

“I can do cramped! I’ve done it for the past four years.”

“But it’s a different story when there’s three of you. Ugh, it’s the worst! Trust me—I’m living that nightmare right now.”

“I thought you liked your roommate and her boyfriend?”

“I do, but we’re constantly stumbling over each other, lining up for the stove when we cook.” Piper swallowed and shook her head. “He eats all my Chef Boyardee, she hogs all the shelf space in the bathroom, and don’t even get me started on sex. It’s a good thing I’m having none because the walls have ears. I feel like I’m in the middle of a three-way every time they do it.”

Hmm, she has a point. “Ben suggested moving in with Alex and Mark because they have a bigger place with a spare room.”

“Ooh, do that! God, imagine bumping into Mark frickin’ Keegan in the hallway after he’s had a shower! Whoopsie…his damp towel slips from his waist—”

“Pip! Stop drooling!” Riley giggled. “But seriously…it’s like Ben wants to keep me at arm’s length.”

“No, it’s like he wants to take his time, not rush into anything. That’s what you should want, too…especially after Josh.”

Ah…shit. She’s scored another one. Riley sighed. “Yeah…”

“I know being long distance has been hard and you miss him, but please don’t read into every little thing he says. To me, it sounds like he’s being honest. There’s no room at the inn—period!” She crunched another Pocky. “Seriously, do you really want to move into that clusterfuck?”

“That’s what Mom said—sorta.”

“You should be glad Ben’s with it enough to realize you wouldn’t be happy there.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” Riley checked her phone, wishing there was a message from Ben…just something to back up Piper’s advice.

“So, when are you gonna tell him? I’m surprised you didn’t call and wake him up.”

“I would’ve, but I was still mad at him…”

“Imagine his face when you tell him! Oh, wait! You know what’s even better?! SURPRISE him—in person!”

“What, just show up on his doorstep? Don’t tell him I got the job?”

“YES! I’ve always wanted someone to do that for me.” Piper swooned. “It would be sooo romantic.”

“Not if Spencer answers.”

“Well, surprise him at the market.”

Now THAT would be amazing. Riley sat back, the tension from earlier in the day melting away as a big grin lit up her face.