HIS GIRL.
Those two words were the only thing on my mind as I got ready. And for a date with the love of my life, I was oddly nervous. My palms were sweating as I stood in front of my open suitcase, three different outfits laid on top.
Two minutes and several eye rolls later, I grabbed the closest thing to me and got dressed. I hadn’t thought about what I was wearing in years. Yeah, I’d always wanted to look nice, but I was never thinking about how others would perceive it. I never cared about what they thought, I just wanted to feel good.
Besides, Hunter had seen me in every state imaginable. In ratty clothes for painting, in three-day-old clothes when I was sick, in my prom dress, in date clothes, in no clothes… and every single time he looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. I had never suffered from self-esteem issues and I had to assume he was part of the reason. Having someone in your life who has looked at you like that since you were ten years old will do wonderful things to your ego. It wasn’t inflated, society made sure to keep it in check, I was just lucky enough to have had Hunter to balance out all the negativity.
He would be amazing with a daughter.
I froze with my hand on the buttons of my shorts. Where the hell had that thought come from?
We’d never talked about kids when we were together, mainly because we were still kids ourselves, and over the years I became so numb that marriage and kids hadn’t ever been a thought, but now…
Now it seemed like a whole world of possibilities had opened up in front of me. But this was the wrong frame of mind for a first date, so I shook off thoughts of the future and focused on the present.
My eyes strayed to the soft cotton dress I had also laid out. Quickly shedding my shorts, I pulled the dress on instead. It was a simple baby-pink sundress with a fitted bodice and an open back. The material fell just above my knees and would most definitely fly up if I twirled around like I had as a child whenever my mom bought me a new dress. The thought made me smile as I adjusted the straps before adorning my feet with gold flats.
I kept my makeup minimal, only foundation, mascara, and some of my favorite strawberry lip balm. My dark red hair, freshly showered and smelling like mint, fell down my back in natural waves.
After I was done I looked in the mirror, noticing that my lips seemed to tip up more naturally and my eyes appeared a little lighter. I looked… happy. Not just okay, but genuinely happy.
I hoped it would last.
Everything felt like it was moving too fast, and yet not fast enough. Less than four hours ago I was standing in this exact spot convincing myself that our lunch wasn’t a date, and now I was actually getting ready for one.
And even though I knew there was something he’d yet to tell me, I knew Hunter. He wouldn’t have done any of the things he did without a good reason. I was hurt and confused, but he was right there with me. He’d made poor choices that night, and in the years that followed, but how could I not forgive him when I knew none of them were choices designed to hurt me? None of them were made with malicious intent.
A light tapping sounded on the door. I checked the clock. It was five, on the dot. Smoothing my hands down my dress, I gave myself one last look before moving toward my date.
My nerves were a little assuaged when I looked out the peephole and saw him fidgeting. I opened the door and we both froze. His eyes drank me in while mine did the same. He wore dark wash jeans and a simple black T-shirt, nothing terribly different from what I’d been seeing him in, but something had me itching to drag him inside and insist we order takeout. The sudden feral look in his eyes suggested he felt the same.
“Wow… you look… wow.”
I smiled. “Thanks.”
“You ready, Sher bear?” He smirked and held out his hand. A small smile blossomed over my face, nostalgia rippling through me as I felt both happy and sad at the reminder of my parents. I put my hand in his, but he kept me at a distance, looking down at my dress again.
“Pretty in pink,” he said with a smile. “Just like that first day. Minus the pigtails.” He lightly tugged on a piece of my hair.
I tilted my head. “You remembered that?”
“Like I could forget the first time I saw you. Of course,” he whispered before pulling me forward and placing a soft kiss on my forehead. “Now, c’mon. I’m hungry.”
Nodding, I shut the door and waited for the automatic click of the lock. When I turned around, his eyes flew up. Was he…?
“Were you checking out my ass?”
“Yeah,” he replied shamelessly, licking his lips for extra effect. “And it looks just as heavenly as I remember.”
I wasn’t prone to blushing, but I couldn’t deny the sudden flush I felt in my cheeks. “I thought you were hungry.”
“Oh, I am.” Hunter’s eyes continued to run over me, heating me up and causing my skin to tingle everywhere his eyes touched.
Grabbing his arm, I pulled him toward the street. “Oh no you don’t. You had that chance earlier and you asked me on a date instead.”
“And there’s no way I can change your mind?” he asked.
“Nope.” There was. There totally was.
“Hmmm…” He was stroking his chin as we stopped at the crosswalk. “What about if I shoved up that dress of yours and tongue fucked your pussy? You think that could do it?” he whispered.
Dear God.
I loved how his inhibitions weakened when it came to sex.
Hunter looked victorious when I quietly whimpered and shuffled my legs to relieve some of the sudden tension. Hadn’t I just thought about dragging him into my room? What the hell was stopping me?
Truthfully, I wanted to prove this was about more than sex. I hadn’t slept with anyone besides Hunter, and I wasn’t sure where he stood, but I needed to know that sex wasn’t trumping everything else. So far it hadn’t, and us wanting it didn’t negate all that, but I also really wanted to go on this date.
“Nope,” I replied, albeit somewhat breathlessly. “I’m stronger than that.”
I felt his smile against my skin as he kissed my cheek. “No matter. It’ll just be some great foreplay.”
The crosswalk sign changed and I watched my date’s fantastic ass as he walked away from me.
“God give me strength,” I mumbled before quickly following after him.
I knew Sherry better than anyone. Even if she was horny as hell, she still loved going on dates. It was the exact same way when we were teenagers. And to be honest, I preferred it too. I loved whispering dirty things to her in public, gliding my hand up her leg until she was a quivering mess, begging me to fuck her in the bathroom.
We never did. But when we were finally able to, it was explosive. It made all the waiting worth it. Delay of gratification was an art some guys couldn’t appreciate.
It was what Tyler hadn’t understood in high school. Our trust, our love, was what made our first time special. I could have taken his advice to screw around—which I had zero interest in—but it never would have felt like it had with Sherry. That type of intimacy could only be found with someone you loved and trusted. All those idiots had no idea what they were missing as they scrambled around trying to stick their dick in anything that moved.
That was how I felt now. I could drag her back to the hotel and fuck her five ways from Sunday, but I knew it would feel ten times better once I spent an entire evening with her. I would stare at her lips as she spoke, imagining all the different ways I could kiss them. I’d look at her hands and picture all the ways she would touch me. And I’d salivate over her delicious body as I counted all the ways I would finally have her.
I’d have to limit myself of course, because walking in jeans with a hard-on was not a pleasant experience.
After she caught up to me, I grabbed her hand and linked my fingers with hers. Deciding where to take her was easy. Sherry could never say no to pizza. When we arrived, her hand tightened around mine and she pulled herself closer.
“I love this place.” I always made fun of her when she spoke about this place. Her tone often mimicked the reverence one saved for church. But this time I wasn’t even tempted, I was just happy to see her happy.
“You had it when you came back though, right?” I asked.
She shrugged as we stepped inside and waited for a hostess. “I got it delivered. Anything to limit the amount of time I spent walking around town alone. The first two years people felt like it was completely normal to ask me about what happened. Not to see how I was doing, but to gossip. Apparently tragedies are time sensitive.” She shook her head, a humorless chuckle escaping her. “Hell, there’s even an inflatable Titanic slide out in the world. Over a thousand people died, but I guess since it happened more than a hundred years ago, that suddenly makes it okay.” Sherry stopped, a faraway look in her eyes, when a worker came over and brought us to a private booth near the back of the restaurant.
“Sorry. I’m not trying to bring down the date.” She looked chagrined as she unrolled her silverware and placed the napkin on her lap.
“You’re not bringing it down.” I tried to soften my words with a smile, and when she gave me one back, I knew it had worked.
Our waitress arrived, a middle-aged woman I didn’t recognize, and set cocktail napkins in front of us. “Ciao! Mi chiamo Andrea. Have you guys dined with us before?”
“We have.”
“Excellent!” She clapped before reciting the specials and telling us she’d be back in five minutes.
“I missed actually coming in here though.” Sherry looked around at the Italian decor.
It was a decent size, but since they went to great lengths to make each table feel homey and private, there was a great deal of space between dining parties.
When her gaze met mine, she smiled. “This was the perfect choice.”
“I know my girl.” Her eyes lit up, just like they had earlier, and I made a mental note to say that more often. It definitely wouldn’t be a chore.
Andrea came back and took our order. We always got the same thing, a small meat lovers’ pizza and a plate of linguini to share. I took a sip of my Coke before leaning forward and crossing my arms on the smooth wooden table.
“So, tell me about these best friends you mentioned earlier, and the guy… if you must.” I grinned to let her know I was joking. I believed her if she said there was nothing between them.
Her light laughter floated across the table and settled inside me.
“For the first three years I only had three really good friends: Alara, Naomi, and Derek. I met them freshman year; I wasn’t exactly in the best headspace.” Sherry’s smile was grim. “But Naomi was pretty… obdurate. She saw me and decided we just had to be friends.” She rolled her eyes, but I could see her smile turning genuine. “The more I think about it, the more I feel guilty for not telling them anything. They saved me from myself.”
“You never had any female friends in high school. I’m curious what they’re like.”
“It’s strange. We’re not all that similar. Alara, she’s pretty quiet. Doesn’t talk unless she has something to say, and even then her shyness makes it difficult.”
“And Naomi?”
There was no trace of sadness in Sherry’s eyes when she answered. “She’s always talking.” Sherry laughed. “And she’s loud, so loud and crazy. I’m somewhere in the middle I think.”
Reaching over, I placed my hand palm up, grinning when she automatically placed hers over it. “And Derek?” I asked.
“He’s my best friend.” Her palm spasmed against mine and her shoulders rose, like she felt guilty.
“Sherry,” I said quietly, shifting my hand so my fingers were wrapped around her wrist. “It’s okay. I’m glad you had him.”
“He was never you.” The assuredness in her eyes was all I needed. “But he’s a really good person. Always willing to help out his friends. I think you two will really get along.”
My heart stopped, and her eyes widened.
She wants me to come back with her.
She wants me to meet her friends.
She wants me.
“I can’t wait.” My words had Sherry’s whole body deflating with relief.
We both leaned back and reluctantly let go of one another when we saw the waitress approaching with our food.
“Okay, here we go. One small meat lovers’, and one linguini. Can I get you guys anything else?”
“I think we’re good for now. Thank you.” Sherry smiled at Andrea before immediately digging in.
“Oh my God,” she moaned, her eyes practically rolling into the back of her head. “This is absolutely incredible.”
We were silent for the next few minutes as we devoured our dinner, both of us remembering we hadn’t eaten lunch and were hungrier than we’d realized. When the waitress came back twenty minutes later to nearly empty plates, she laughed and asked if we enjoyed everything. Sherry said something about a food baby before asking for the check.
Something occurred to me as we were waiting. “How’d you know I was back in town?” I asked.
“There was an article in the paper.”
My brow furrowed. “I know. But that was the local paper. I doubt many stories are picked up from a small-town newspaper with a couple hundred in readership.”
She cleared her throat and looked down at the table. “I set up a Google notification for your name. It automatically sent me the article.”
“You did?”
Smiling softly, she said, “Yeah.” Then her expression faltered slightly. “I had been ready to give up.”
“You probably should have given up long before.” The words felt bitter and wrong, but four years was a long time, and while I was grateful that she cared that much, it also broke my heart to think I had taken away what should have been some of the best years of her life.
“I’m glad I didn’t.”
My selfish side won out as I said, “Me too.”
Andrea came back with the bill and I settled up with her while Sherry went to the bathroom. I waited outside for her, taking in the town I had so many conflicted feelings about. The rain had let up before we left for dinner, but it started to drizzle when we were inside. Thankfully it wasn’t bad and our hotel was close, because I didn’t even pack an umbrella when I came down here, and unless Sherry’s purse was reminiscent of Mary Poppins’ bag, she didn’t have one either.
I turned back and watched her walk through the restaurant toward me. Her eyes never left mine. She weaved through tables and sidestepped waiters all without looking away from me.
After waiting nearly four years to see those eyes in person again, I would be perfectly content if she kept them on me for the rest of my life.
He led me down the street with his hand on the small of my back. A comfortable silence fell over us as we walked through the light rain. We remained that way all the way to the hotel, our feet carrying us to his room. Hunter unlocked the door and waved me through.
I pivoted back to find him still facing the door, his palm settled above the handle. When he finally turned around, his eyes were trained on the ground and he looked troubled. “Was there ever anyone else?” he asked softly.
Taken aback, I froze. I thought it was pretty implied that there hadn’t been. My gaze followed his, thinking about how I had tried to get over him. The guilt hit me hard and fast. There were times when I wanted to forget about Hunter, to move on. Now that he was here and asking it felt like a betrayal.
“Sherry?” His worried voice brought my head up. He looked panicked as his eyes flickered between mine, frantically trying to read my thoughts.
“Some days I wanted to forget you. Forget I knew you. Forget I loved you,” I said softly, revealing my greatest sin. “Thomas wanted me to move on.” I looked down again, my hands forming fists that wanted to punch all these horrible thoughts away.
“So I tried to. Once, about a year ago.” I swallowed roughly, pinching the bridge of my nose and closing my eyes.
“What happened?” I heard the nervous pitch in his voice, the fear and the heartbreak. This conversation was unbearably painful.
“I was lonely. You were gone and I… it felt like I was just living in the shadow of who I once was. For three years I’d lived that way, and I didn’t want to anymore. That was the first time I truly felt like I wanted to forget you.
“So I went out one night and got way drunker than I should have. I didn’t plan it, but I ran into a guy in one of my classes. He had asked me out a few times before, and I always said no. But after I’d had a couple more drinks that night, he asked me back to his place. I said yes.” I shrugged and kept my eyes away from Hunter.
“Ten minutes and a handful of kisses after we’d gotten there, we were on his bed. But I couldn’t… I started crying the second he tried to take off my jeans. He freaked, flew off me, and started mumbling apologies as he tried to hand me my shirt, the only thing he’d managed to take off.” Shaking my head, I let out a sad laugh. “I couldn’t even take it because I was too busy scrambling toward the bathroom. I had just made it to the toilet when I started throwing up. He thought I couldn’t hold my alcohol.”
“Sherry.” Hunter’s voice broke as he walked toward me.
“I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again,” I said as I looked at him. There was a panic in my voice I wasn’t prepared for.
“Sherry—” he repeated, only for me to cut him off again.
“But if I’d known I’d get you back, I would have never touched anyone. I wouldn’t have even given guys a handshake.” My voice had reached full-on hysterical and I could only imagine the pair of crazy eyes I was rocking.
“Hey, hey,” he cooed, putting his hands on my shoulders. His eyes were worried, but no longer filled with pain, as they shifted between mine. “Sherry, it’s okay. I’m not mad. How could I be?”
I believed him. All the worry wasn’t for himself and what I might have done, it was only for me. I still couldn’t help but feel unsettled.
Hunter had left me. It wouldn’t have been wrong for me to move on, and I couldn’t be blamed for trying. But Hunter’s love was the only love I’d known, and not apologizing felt just as wrong.
“You could have fallen in love with him, and I couldn’t say jackshit about it because I would have been the one responsible,” he said gently. “I know you feel guilty, but you have no reason to.” His voice was firm and his eyes were filled with so much understanding it nearly killed me. Shaking his head, he cupped my cheeks while tears formed in his eyes as they moved over my face. “After everything we went through together. After everything you went through for me. I left you.” Hunter stopped as the tears spilled over and he looked down. “I’m sorry.”
When he lifted his face back up, I was floored to see so much emotion on his face. “Every single day I wanted to come find you. It just never felt safe. Not with him still alive. But another reason was my own guilt. I still blamed myself. You lost Bobby; you didn’t deserve to lose your parents, too.” He looked defeated as he whispered, “You didn’t even know where I was. I knew exactly where you were. The entire time, I knew. So, really, who betrayed who?”
Rapidly shaking my head, I opened my mouth to tell him I understood, when he gently placed two fingers over my mouth, preventing me from speaking.
“None of that matters, Sherry. We’re both here now. I’m starting to forgive myself for things that I never should have felt guilty over. And you…” Hunter trailed off and cracked a small smile. “This guy you cried on and almost threw up on, you never gave him your heart, right?” he teased, trying to lighten it all with a joke.
I gave him a small laugh for his efforts, even as I gave him a serious answer. “How could I?” I asked intently. “You’ve had it since we were ten years old.”
Those nine words blew his expression apart, allowing me to see everything. Relief, that we were able to find our way back to each other, and that his father would never be able to take that away again. Sadness, that we missed four years of being together. Anger, that we’d had to endure this in the first place. And finally joy, that we were lucky enough to have something this special at all. It all flooded across his face right before he grabbed my face and smashed his lips against mine.
We only kissed for a few minutes before I had to pull away and get my own answers.
“Did you—” I paused and cleared my throat, keeping my eyes on his hands, which were now holding mine. “Have you been with anyone…?” I was surprised I’d been able to shove out that many words. I didn’t know if I was expected to assume something, but the truth was I had no idea. He’d known where I was, but how much could that matter? He’d thought I was with someone else. He was prepared to live in a world where we weren’t together. What reason would he have for waiting?
And as easy as it would have been to live in a bubble, to be unaware of the possibility that Hunter may have been with someone else, I needed to know, just like he had.
When he remained silent for nearly a full minute, I was forced to look up. He looked extremely confused. Then he dropped my hands and brought his own up to frame my face as he looked at me with so much focus I could barely breathe.
“No, Sherry.” His tone was laced with conviction, and he affectionately pushed a piece of hair behind my ear. “No sex, no kisses, no looks, no thoughts of anyone else. My heart was broken, Sherry. Getting laid was the last thing on my mind, and I didn’t want to forget you. It’s only ever been you. I’ll only ever want you.”
My smile couldn’t have been wider or brighter. “You could have found someone else,” I teased, shameless in my want for further affirmation. “Like you said, we weren’t technically together—”
I cut myself off at the disgusted look on his face, like I suggested he lick the toilet seat in an outhouse.
“Sherry, you’re my best friend. You’re the girl I’ve been in love with since I was fifteen. And the status of our relationship never felt like a free pass to be with someone else. No other women exist when you’re in love, at least not for me. And neither geography, nor time, changes that.”
I felt tears threatening as I grabbed him behind the neck and tugged him forward, our mouths colliding. His kiss tasted of sincerity and love, a heady combination that had me flying higher than anything I could have imagined. My lips slid from his, gliding along his cheek until I found my way to his ear.
“I wanna cash in on that promise from earlier,” I whispered before nipping his earlobe.
“W-w-what?”
Grabbing his hand, I placed it on my bare leg and slid it under the hem of my dress. “Hmm… how did you phrase it? Something about shoving up this dress of mine…”
He nodded so quickly I almost laughed. But the heat in his eyes made that impossible, especially as his hand moved farther up my thigh. And when he tugged me closer, plastering our bodies together and dragging me toward the bed, I definitely wasn’t thinking about laughing.