16
Cassandra
I lay awake for a while. With all of the excitement running through my body, it was impossible to fall asleep. Beside me, Emil snored softly, a look of happiness on his face. I cuddled up to him, locked in his embrace. A warmth spread through my chest, my heart swelling.
It had been a long, long time since I’d felt this way.
Still, had I made the right decision? I wasn’t sure. While it had felt right, there was a nagging inkling of doubt in the back of my mind that made it hard to accept what I had just done. Emil seemed sincere, sure, but it was possible that this was all just some sort of act to get me to fall for him.
I didn’t want to admit it, but it was working.
With my fingertip, I outlined his shoulder down to his arm. His skin was hot to the touch.
He moved slightly, snuggling closer, as his embrace tightened.
Gently, I brushed his hair out of his face, trying to figure out what I felt. On the one hand, I was happy. On the other, I was terrified.
For the moment, I pushed away my fears, deciding that I deserved to be happy for once in my life.
With this thought, I fell fast asleep in the arms of a… criminal.
* * *
In the morning, I was awoken by a kiss.
I moaned softly, turning over so that I could hide my face in a pillow. “What time is it?” I grumbled, refusing to believe that it was already morning.
Emil did not answer me. Instead, he started to kiss and suckle the side of my neck, his hands already venturing along my naked body.
Before he could find my pussy, I pulled away, rolling out of the bed. Quickly, I got dressed.
“Where’s the fire?” he asked, propping himself up on his elbow.
“Kimmy’s going to be late for school…” I mumbled, thinking it was a viable excuse.
“It’s Saturday,” he said with a smirk. “Now, get your ass back in this bed.”
“No. I have things to do.”
“Like what?” he asked, raising an eyebrow in my direction. “Don’t tell me you work on Saturdays.”
“Yes.”
He groaned. “Does that mean I have to work as well?”
“Yes.”
He groaned even louder. “I’m starting to think I should have taken my chances at the prison. This is starting to become slave-labor.”
I didn’t bother to answer him, slipping out of the door and into the kitchen. The guilt had wrapped around my spine, making me numb. Why had I been stupid enough to sleep with him?
Thank God I was on birth control… If I hadn’t been…
I shook my head, not even wanting to think about what would have happened. No doubt, I would have ended up just like Stacey. Abandoned and alone for the second time. I couldn’t go through that again.
While I was in the kitchen, I heard the soft sound of pitter-pattering feet. Kimmy came up behind me and gave me a great big hug. “Can I have pancakes for breakfast?” she asked as sweetly as possible.
“Not today, honey. Mommy isn’t feeling good.”
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing, sweetie. Just a headache.”
In response, she tugged on my shirt until I was bent over. Ever so gently, she kissed the top of my head. “There! All better!” She giggled.
“Thank you.” I ruffled her hair. “Are you okay with some cereal?”
She nodded.
So I poured her a bowl and set it in front of her. As she ate, I made myself a cup of black coffee, hoping that it would calm my nerves.
Before I could take a sip, Emil appeared and kissed the top of my head. “I don’t believe you have a headache, but I’ll kiss it better all the same,” he whispered, squeezing my hand.
I looked up at him for just a moment, and even in that brief instant, it was obvious that he could see right through my façade. It made me feel vulnerable. Quickly, I looked away, biting the inside of my lip. Still, I watched as he grabbed an apple and munched on it, sitting across from Kimmy. They began to have a conversation about which Power Ranger was the best. Kimmy was very adamant about her choice, but so was Emil.
My stomach tightened. I was caught in a turmoil. A part of me wanted to go for it, to forget about Emil’s past and accept him for who he was, but at the same time, how could I commit myself to a relationship where I knew what he had done to another woman? I wasn’t making that mistake again.
“Mommy, who’s your favorite Power Ranger?”
“Huh?” I blinked at my daughter, my mind elsewhere.
“The pink one or the yellow one?”
“Um…” I was confused by the question, my mind so hazy that I could barely think straight. I had watched the show so many times, but I couldn’t recall the personality of either character. “Um… yellow,” I said, taking a stab in the dark. I prayed that was Kimmy’s choice.
She burst into a squeal of giggles. “See?! I told you so!” she boasted, nearly spilling her bowl of cereal.
“Careful,” I warned.
“Sorry.” She quickly sat back down. “But… I told you so, Emil,” she whispered excitedly.
He chuckled. “I guess you’re right. Mommy knows best, doesn’t she?”
Kimmy nodded enthusiastically. “Yup!”
In that moment, I wish I had her confidence. I was so torn that I had no idea how to proceed. Maybe the best course of action would be to call Cruz and ask him for a change of assignment. That way, I wouldn’t be so tempted by the attractive man who now lived with me. Let someone else deal with him.
But even as the thought came to mind, I knew I wouldn’t do it.
I couldn’t let anyone else have him.