Damn!” I stopped in the middle of the street.

I had lost her.

I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration, my urge to punch something overwhelming. Trying to calm myself down, I took a few deep breaths. They did absolutely nothing to clear my head.

It was her. I was so sure it was her. It just had to be.

Knowing I wouldn’t rest until I found her, I started to search the perimeter of the village, even though, realistically, she could have slipped into any of the buildings, making it impossible for me to find her.

Still, I had come this close to touching her again. I couldn’t give up now.

I searched for what felt like hours, to no avail. Maybe she had only been a figment of my imagination, a product of sleep deprivation…

No. She was real. Just as real as Trang had been when she’d stumbled out of the forest, covered in wounds, before collapsing in my arms. I had to go back to the tent and find out if she was okay, but right now, Sidney was the only thing I could think about.

I had to find her.

Eventually, I reached the river. In the distance, I spotted a lone figure, curled up into a fetal position – the same position Sidney always assumed whenever she was upset.

I was just about to run up to her when I hesitated. Maybe I shouldn’t do this. Maybe it wasn’t right for me to assume that she would want to talk to me after all this time. After all, she had never responded to my letter. I had waited for months - years even - for her response, but it never came. Countless times, I thought about writing to her again, but what was the point? It was obvious that she no longer wanted anything to do with me. I didn’t blame her, really. I’d probably would have done the same thing.

But, I just couldn’t let her go a second time…

I had made that mistake once, I wasn’t going to make it again.

I kept my steps as quiet as possible as I approached her.

She must have been lost in her own thoughts because she didn’t seem to hear me. Her eyes were closed, her cheek pressed against her knee. For a moment, I thought she had fallen asleep, but then I noticed her fingers toying with the bracelet she wore, the same bracelet I had given her on our third date. The woven threads that had once been colorful and bright had faded over the years. Some of it had unraveled. By the looks of it, she had never taken it off.

So she hadn’t completely forgotten about me after all…

“Sidney…” I spoke softly, scared that I would spook her into running away again.

Her eyes shot open, narrowing in my direction. I remember those eyes being so warm, almost like liquid honey, but now, they were cold and uninviting.

“Go away,” she spat, venom seeping from her every word.

“Sidney… I…” Now that I had her in front of me, I didn’t know what to say. I had rehearsed this reunion conversation a thousand times before, practicing how I would apologize for abandoning her, but now, my tongue refused to cooperate.

“Look, if you’re here to apologize – to try to explain yourself – don’t bother. I don’t want to hear it,” she growled, her pink lips pressed into a permanent frown as her face contorted into an expression of fury.

“Sidney.” All I could do was say her name. I wanted to tell her how much of a fool I had been. How I had messed up. How I would take it all back if I could.

“Stop saying my name. It’s not going to change anything.” She got up. “You made your choice ten years ago.”

She was about to walk off.

Impulsively, I reached out and grabbed her hand, yanking her toward me. Our bodies collided together. My hands naturally rested on her hips, transporting me back in time to when we used to slow dance together in her room, even when there was no music playing. For a brief, fleeting second, as I held her in my arms, it felt like everything was once again right with the world.

Until…she destroyed that image of perfection by pushing me away. “Don’t touch me,” she hissed through her teeth. “Don’t even come near me.”

“Sidney, just let me talk to you for a minute.” Holding her had brought my tongue back to working order. “I know I messed up. No, I did more than mess up. Leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life. I never should’ve enlisted without telling you, but I thought that maybe if I followed in my brother’s footsteps, I could find out what had happened to him. That I could find him.”

She stood in front of me, her hands crossed over her chest. I could tell by her stance that she wasn’t really listening to me.

“You know, I don’t really care what your excuse is. I’ve wasted countless nights reading that letter you sent me, trying to figure out if you ever felt guilty for leaving me, but you were so obsessed with your damn brother, a brother whom you very well know, as well as I do, has been dead for a long, long time. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re never going to find him.”

I shook my head. “No. That’s where you’re wrong. He’s out here somewhere. I can feel it.”

“You’re delusional.”

“No. Jason is still alive,” I said, trying to convince myself that I hadn’t spent the last ten years on a fool’s errand.

She sighed in exasperation. “You haven’t changed, have you? You just don’t get it.”

I grabbed her by the shoulders, my fingers digging into her flesh, feeling like if I let her go, she would disappear forever. “Sidney, just… I can’t lose you again. I know you haven’t forgotten about me. You’re still wearing the bracelet I gave you.”

She glanced down at her wrist. “That doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it does. If you had gotten over me, you would’ve taken it off… admit it, Sidney. Things aren’t over between us.”

“Rot in hell,” she spat out, pushing me away and disappearing into the night.