Ryan
Granite Harbor, Maine
Present Day
Her still-damp hair is against my bicep while her head is against my shoulder.
Please, if I’ve gone to heaven, let me stay here.
Merit’s hand on my chest, she strokes my chest hair, and I feel her sigh against me, our bodies tired from telling each other just how much we need each other.
“So, Dubbs isn’t your biological father.” Merit looks up at me.
I shrug. “That’s what Ronan said. Guess Mona pretty much confirmed it when she didn’t say anything.”
“How do you feel about all this?” she asks as she runs her hand over my chest.
“Some people have mattered in my life, Mer. Some people have made an impact. Some people have come and gone. My parents are two I can think of. But nothing like you, Eli, Brand, and Rebecca. At this point in my life, I guess it doesn’t really matter who my parents are.” I’m quiet for a minute. “It might give my past some validity, I guess, just knowing where I came from, but it won’t make a difference. Might give me more insight, but I’m raised, Mer.” My arms tighten around her. “I don’t want to waste any more time. I spent a good chunk of my adult life looking for forever in all the wrong spots. But it was you I knew deep down that I needed.”
Merit looks up at me, her green eyes wandering from my face to my chest and back to my face. “I’ve realized something.” I can tell she’s choosing her words carefully. “I blamed you, Ryan. I blamed you for my hurt. I blamed you for my mom and Destiny by pushing all my anger toward you. It wasn’t fair. I wasn’t sure how to process grief, so I didn’t. I just stuffed it deeper.”
“Hey.” I try to pull her to me, but she stops by putting her hand on my chest.
“Wait. I promise that, no matter what in this life, I won’t leave you.”
“Mer, stop. It’s okay.”
She shakes her head. “No, Ryan, it’s not okay. It’s not okay that others treated you like that. It’s not okay that I treated you the way I did. You deserve better.”
I take a deep breath and rest my head back down against the mahogany headboard that has somehow survived the last hour of us making up for lost time. “Mer, there are no guarantees in life.”
Merit’s face changes. Her eyes grow big, and her mouth opens.
“What? Are you all right?”
“Oh my God,” she whispers.
“What?”
She sits up and pulls the sheet to cover her breasts. “There was no other girl when I left. Was there?” Shock colors her face. “You didn’t want me to get an abortion. You just said it. There are no guarantees in life. You said this to me seventeen years ago. You couldn’t guarantee we’d make it, but you sure as hell knew my dream was not in Granite Harbor, that it was always in California. You weren’t going to let us hold me back. Oh my God. How come I didn’t see this before?” Merit’s head is in her hands, and then she stares back at me, waiting for an answer.
Fuck. What should I say? I won’t lie to her. So, instead, I turn on my side and lightly touch her face. “What, Mer? What could we have done differently?”
“I don’t know.”
I can deal with my regret. The way I hurt her. I will take that on so fucking willingly, but I can’t stand the fact that Merit might have regret. The way she had to deal with Destiny and her death on her own, that’s another story.
“You did it all for me.” She stares up at me as her eyes fill with tears.
“I’m sorry you were alone when Destiny died.” My voice breaks because, now, I feel the wave of emotion. I catch the tears that fall from her eyes.
She shakes her head. “I chose to have her on my own, Ryan. Don’t you see that? You can’t take responsibility for that. You didn’t know.”
Her blonde hair gets lost among the white sheets, and it’s her stark green eyes that stand out the most.
“I’ll spend every day making sure you know how much I love you, Ryan Taylor.”
She takes my hand from her face, wet with her tears, and places it over her breast. Instantly, I feel it everywhere. Our bodies, which were once tired, are now on fire again as I harden against her opening.
I drop my mouth to her breast again.
“Again,” she says as I feel her legs widen for me.
I sit up but not before giving her what she asked for. I take the other breast in my mouth, and then I see her splayed out in front of me, naked and vulnerable and beautiful. I slip two fingers inside her.
“God, baby, you’re so wet again.”
I watch her as she closes her eyes, and a small whimper escapes from her lips. My dick hardens for her, only for her. I push her folds back, so I can see how beautiful and pink she is. Sliding my fingers out, I put my mouth down on her to alleviate the itch that she so desperately needs scratched.
“Ryan!” she calls out as her body tenses. “Stop.”
She pushes back on my shoulders. She flips around, reaches for my hands from behind, and puts them on her. She takes my shaft in her hand and puts it inside her. She drops to her elbows, and I fucking groan. With her ass in front of me, I grab her hips and pull her closer to get as deep as I can.
“Fuck,” I hiss as she moans.
I reach around, take her notch in my hand, and apply pressure.
She sits up and grabs the headboard with me still inside her, and I push again. I take her hand and put it down there with mine. Her hand guiding ours, she pushes on herself, and I fucking can’t handle it.
“Turn your head. I need to watch you come,” I say.
She does as she was told, and when she does, I put my tongue in her mouth as she moves her fingers. I grab her breasts from behind while pushing myself inside her.
She comes loudly in my ear, and I do the same.
We make good use of our time. Against the bathroom counter. In the shower. On the floor. Making up for lost time.
It isn’t until six at night when we become hungry, and a text comes in from Eli.
Eli: Meet us at Angler’s for dinner at six thirty?
All Merit seems to do when she gets ready is jump in the shower, which we’ve done a few times today, blow-dry her hair, and put that shiny stuff on her lips—lip gloss or whatever it’s called.
I really haven’t talked to Eli since the whole thing happened. I’ve been trying to find the right words to thank my best friend for saving my life.
When we get to Angler’s, Merit moves to our table in her little red summer dress. Merit is talking with her hands, which means she’s excited. I think she’s missed Alex and maybe she’s excited about us, too.
Felix is working the bar. “Heard about what happened. These are on the house.” Felix passes Eli and me two beers.
“Can’t. Gotta pay for them,” I say. “But thank you, Felix.” I throw two twenties down. “Can we also get two house reds?” I look at Eli. “These are on me.”
“Sure thing.” Felix goes to retrieve the wine.
I look at Eli. “Thank you. For everything.”
“You would have done it for me.” He tries to be casual. Takes a drink of his beer.
There’s no doubt about that. I would have.
Felix comes back with the wine and takes the cash on the counter to the register.
“Do me a favor?” Eli asks after he takes a drink of his beer.
“What’s that?”
“Stay out of hospitals for at least six months. Please.”
Aaron and Ethan Casey, twins, friends and fellow wardens, walk into Angler’s just as Lydia does.
It isn’t awkward with Lydia at all. First of all, my fucking ego said to learn her name. There are Merits to other men and should be treated as such. I think Merit is secure enough with me to know that she’s my only forever.
“Something’s different about you, Taylor.” Shannon, the cocktail waitress who hates me, approaches the bar to get her drink order from Felix. “The cocky bastard you once were doesn’t seem to be the same guy you are tonight. So, thank you, on behalf of women all over Maine. Thank you for not being a total cock.” She goes about her business.
Eli looks at me and laughs. “I’m glad you and Merit are a thing.” He shakes his head. “I haven’t seen her this happy since before Mom died.”
What he says hits me in the gut. Wasted years. But maybe they weren’t wasted. Maybe that’s how she and I got here today, where it all started back then, building the foundation for us. Maybe we were both at the right place and at the right time. For each other.
“I’d like to ask Merit to marry me, Eli. If that’s okay with you?”
Eli’s smile starts at the corners of his mouth. The same grin he gave Alex on their wedding day. This way, I know it’s genuine.
“You as a brother-in-law? Oh, fuck. Pain in my ass.”
We both smile. Take a pull from our beers.
“Yeah, brother, absolutely.” He sets his beer down. “Did you talk to Pop yet?”
“I’ll do that tomorrow. Merit mentioned something about a barbecue at Brand’s tomorrow.”
Eli nods as Felix hands us the wine.
We take our seat next to our ladies. They’re deep in conversation.
I look around the table at our friends. Eli, Alex, Ethan, Aaron, Lydia. Some old, some new. This is right where I wanted to be my entire life. Not just with my friends, but where my insides matched my outsides. Not searching for the next challenge of a woman’s body—except one woman, now and forever. I watch her as she talks excitedly about Emily, and I know that there’s nothing between us now. Nothing that separates us. No wall.
Eli talks with the twins, and Merit talks with both Alex and Lydia.
I quietly take a swig of my beer. Merit in this dress is killing me. I’ll wait until she finishes her wine before I take her to the restroom.
I lean over to Merit and make sure my lips are against her ear. “Do you need another glass of wine?”
“Yes.” She smiles. “We’re going to go get another glass of wine. Does anyone need anything?”
Alex shakes her head. “There’s no way in hell I’m getting drunk. The last time I got drunk in here”—Alex eyes Eli—“I ended up married and pregnant.”
Eli laughs. “Bring her one more. I’m driving.”
“He’s just trying to get lucky tonight,” Alex whispers loudly.
“Lydia? You want anything?” Merit asks.
“I’m going to nurse this puppy until nine. But thank you.”
Merit stands, and I stand behind her, placing my hand on the small of her back.
“I need to go to the restroom. Come with me real quick,” I say.
I feel her dress against my jeans, and I know it’s short but not too short. I think of all the things I can do to her while leaving her dress on.
We make it around the corner, and I guide her into a stall in the women’s restroom, knowing they can be cleaner than the men’s—from personal experience.
Her mouth is already on mine as my hands slide up her legs, and I get a good grip on her ass.
“Oh my God, are you not wearing panties?” My heart begins to pick up pace as I grow against her.
“You said you needed easy access,” she whispers as she kisses my lips.
I pull up her dress and hold her sex against me.
She spreads her legs in her heels, and I slide my fingers to her front and meet her soft pink space. The space that only belongs to me.
I open her up, and she’s glad I’m here because I feel her wetness against my fingers. I push back her folds as she groans in my fucking ear.
“More, Ryan,” she sighs as I push into her.
“Like this?”
“Yeah,” she sighs again.
But, as I push once more, the restroom door opens, and I see the disappointment on her face.
The other stall door shuts as the woman goes about her business, and I take my time with her and make her crazy.
“Shh,” I whisper into her ear.
The woman flushes. I push on her favorite spot, and she whimpers in my ear, her grip tightening around my shoulders.
The woman washes her hands.
Merit’s lips collide with my mouth, and I devour her. Quickly, I move my mouth to her soft spot between her legs and pull up her dress, so I have full access to her. I open her up with my tongue. But I don’t allow her to come just yet.
I pull away, stand up, and watch her almost wither beneath me. I take her mouth with my own. “Your taste is the only taste I want in my mouth.”
Her body shakes in an almost satisfied way, a permanent smile on her face. “You’re going to need to take care of this situation when we get back to our room.”
I grab her by the hand and let her dress fall back to its position. “Don’t worry; I fully intend on doing that.”