CHAPTER ELEVEN
NIKKI
†
I ACHED. EVERY SINGLE muscle in my body hurt, but it was such a good kind of hurt. The ache that I didn’t know came from having incredible sex for the first time. Friends of mine had talked about how their muscles ached after they hadn’t had sex in a while, but for me it was the very first time in my life, and every muscle in my body had had one hell of a workout.
First times aren’t supposed to be that good, I thought to myself as I slipped into my room early the next morning when everyone was still asleep. I lay on my bed, my fingers trailing over my body where Jake’s fingers, and tongue, had been just hours earlier. He’d completely devoured me, and I was only too happy to let him do it. I hated leaving him, but there was no way I was going to appear at breakfast with Mom and Mia, trying to explain where I’d been.
Oh, but I wanted to stay in that bed with him and never leave. I wanted to see him. Wanted to run my fingers over his body time and time again. I wanted to feel him get hard again beneath my fingers, and I wanted him to lift me on top of his hard erection, lowering me so that he was inside me… have him hold my waist in his huge hands, then holding my breasts and sucking them…
Why on earth had I waited so long before losing my virginity? Nobody had ever told me just how good sex was. I thought all this time it was a fleeting thing, a nice feeling that lasted a few seconds before a couple went to sleep. I had no idea it could go on for hours and hours, even when we weren’t touching, I could still feel him inside me.
I showered, sad I had to wash the scent of him away, and then the three of us in the villa went down to breakfast. Mia kept looking at me, trying to get me to talk. I knew she knew something had happened, but I wasn’t about to discuss anything with her in front of my mom. Not that Mom would have been anything other than thrilled, of course, that her only daughter was finally a woman. But, I think she’d have felt bad for Brandon because he still didn’t know a thing.
He couldn’t know anything about it, either. There was no way I could ever tell him about what had gone on between me and his best friend. Men can be really weird about that kind of thing. And, besides, he had enough to think about. They were to be married in a little over twenty-four hours and we were all there for him, not for ourselves.
I looked around the dining hall, but there was no sign of Jake. Mia could tell I was looking for someone and she kicked me under the table. I glared at her and pulled a face. When Mom got up to get some juice, Mia watched her go and then whirled around to glare at me. “What’s going on?” she hissed. “You came home at six this morning and pretended you’d been home all night. Tell me!”
“I can’t,” I whispered back. “It’s nothing, really.”
“Nonsense!”
“We’ll talk later,” I said, blushing. I was about to carry on when I spotted someone out of the corner of my eye. I knew it was him.
Jake was there in his shorts and a t-shirt, getting a plate full of eggs at the breakfast buffet and before I knew it, I was staring at him. Mia followed my gaze and her mouth dropped.
“Oh, that’s him!” she cried so loudly I wanted to stab her with my fork. I reached over and clamped a hand over her mouth. She grinned and poked out her tongue, licking the palm of my hand so I dropped it in disgust and wiped it on my napkin.
“You’re such a child,” I hissed.
“I can’t believe it!” she whispered, ignoring my last remark. “That’s who you were with last night! Not that I can blame you. Shit, he’s fucking gorgeous. I didn’t get a good enough look at him back at the club, that’s for sure.”
Watching her stare at Jake with lust in her eyes did something weird to me. I was suddenly furious at her for gawking at him like that and, this time, I did prod her with my fork.
“Stop staring like that. People might think there’s something mentally wrong with you. And, close your mouth, for God’s sake. I’ll tell you all about it later, but Mom’s on her way back, so please, just drop it for now.”
“Okay,” she said. “But, dear Lord, I want every disgusting detail. You never even told me his name. Who is he?”
“Later,” I insisted.
To her credit, Mia shut up about Jake for the rest of meal. I sat trying not to look at Jake, but when I was able to steal a few glances at him, he wasn’t looking at me. I was a little confused.
I thought he might look up, and smile, but there was nothing. I felt like a teenager in a school cafeteria. I made an excuse about going to look at the fruit table, which meant I had to walk past him but, even though I thought he saw me walk past, he kept looking down and carried on eating his eggs with his fork in one hand and his cell phone in the other.
I was so mad I wanted to cry. It was as though he didn’t even know I existed when, only hours before, he’d had his head between my legs and had given me the kind of indescribable pleasure that I only now knew existed. I tried not to let the tears well up in my eyes as I went back to the table and pretended that I was feeling tired and wanted to go back to the villa.
Mia followed me, coming into the bedroom and sitting on the bed. There, I told her about what had happened with Jake and me, and how it was my first time. She couldn’t believe it.
“All this time and I never knew you were still a virgin!” she cried. “Damn, I lost mine when I was fifteen. Chris Jacobs. Remember?”
“Yeah,” I said, but I wasn’t really listening. I was too upset, and I told her about that too.
“Oh, sweetie,” Mia said. “Don’t let this ruin the weekend. You had an amazing night together, but every girl feels a little bit weirded out by her first time. It’s like the guy she has sex with is the only man in the whole world, and she’s immediately in love. It’s not like that. Just because a man’s great in bed doesn’t mean he’s a great person.”
I was too exhausted to try and explain that it wasn’t simply a case of being delusional because I’d lost my virginity to Jake. I just didn’t have the energy to try and tell Mia that he was a great person and that I hadn’t just been blinded by incredible orgasms and an amazing body.
“Come on,” she said. “Don’t forget we’re all going down to the beach now. The rehearsal, remember?”
“Shit,” I groaned. “I don’t want to go.”
But, of course, I didn’t have a choice. Mia placated me by telling me that we’d get time to sunbathe and take a swim later, so I put on a blue bikini and slipped into shorts and a t-shirt. We went down to the beach and I wore my sunglasses. At least that way, I could hide the tears that pricked in my eyes when, once more, I saw Jake and, once more, he seemed to ignore me.
The chairs were already set up on the small patch of grass that overlooked the beach, and Clea and Brandon went through the rehearsal with Clea’s bridesmaids and Brandon’s groomsmen as we stood around and watched. Jake was also wearing sunglasses, so I couldn’t tell if there was a second he was looking over at me, but from the times I stole a glance at him, he seemed to be concentrating only on the proceedings.
When it was finally over, Mia and I walked onto the sand and put down our towels. She hated to swim, and she was happy just lying back and letting the sun bake her beautiful bronze skin. So, I joined Clea’s bridesmaids and some of her nieces and nephews in the shallow water. We talked for a little while about the wedding, and then I pushed off into the deeper waters and swam for a little while.
With every stroke of my hand cutting through the water, I tried not to think about how my arms ached because I’d wrapped them around Jake’s neck, or how my legs ached because I’d wrapped them around Jake’s waist. I didn’t want to think about him at all, but there he was, in front of my mind’s eye the whole time, and I was unable to swim him off.