Chapter5
Nariah stared out the window the entire ride to the airport. Olivia, who had her own fun the previous night, decided to catch a ride with her beau. She turned her attention to the road in front of her after Russell grabbed her hand. They arrived at the airport, an hour before her flight was due to board, anticipating traffic. They sat in the drop off lane, their bright red Ferrari catching more than its fair share of attention.
“I wish you could stay,” he said.
“Me too.”
“I could pay for another night at your hotel.”
The corner of her mouth rose. “As much as I would like that, I have to get back to real life.” She stroked the back of his hand with her thumb, taking time to appreciate the last few minutes of the world they had created. She hadn’t realized how comfortable she felt around him, everything and everyone disappearing whenever they were together. “Gotta get back to real life,” she repeated. She checked her phone, expecting a text from Olivia.
“What all do you have to do when you get back? Maybe I can come for a visit soon.”
She replayed last night’s session in her mind, continuing to feel him inside her. The admission of his love and the actions that went with it made her decision that much harder to make. “Russell—” Her sentence trailed off.
“I hate to cut you off, but I have something I need to get off my chest.” He combed his fingers through his hair. “I know we’ve only known each other for a little over a week, but I feel like we have a connection that most people don’t come across in their lifetime.”
Tears blurred her vision as he continued. Letting them run, they splashed in her lap, soaking into her sweats. Her guilt blocked the majority of his words, resembling waves crashing on the shore. She didn’t notice she was no longer holding his hand until he kissed her.
“I want to try and make this work.”
“Uh, I…I don’t know what to say.”
“I know this wasn’t the perfect time, with you about to fly and all. I don’t expect an answer. I just want you to consider it.”
Her vibrating phone cut off her reply, announcing Olivia’s arrival.
Thank God.
Together, they found her terminal, Russell staying with her until Olivia and her boy toy arrived. They each exchanged pleasantries before separating to say their heartfelt goodbyes to one another. Nariah held onto him longer than usual, knowing it would be the last time they would see each other.
“Don’t worry love, I’ll see you soon. You have my number; call me if you need anything.”
“I probably won’t,” she replied. “I know how busy you are.”
He held her by the shoulders. “I am never too busy for you. Even if it’s just to talk.” He let her go, his phone ringing in his pocket. Upon seeing the name on the call log he excused himself, stepping a few feet away.
With him being so close, she couldn’t help listening in. The ongoing activity drowned out the majority of the conversation, but she could tell from his histrionics and the beet red tone of his skin that it was heated. She tried to feign ignorant when he came back to her, swallowing her urge to ask what it was about.
“Work. It’s like that can’t go a day without me.”
“Well you are the billion-dollar man,” she teased, poking him in the chest.
“I’d rather be your man.”
“You’re lucky you’re so good with words, Mr. Haines.”
“I’m just being honest, Ms. Alexander.” His phone began vibrating again. This time he ignored it. “I have to get going, got some stupid business meetings.”
“Don’t let me hold you up.”
He cupped her face, planting a loving kiss on her forehead before kissing her lips. He kissed her hands and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Please consider what I said. The distance doesn’t matter. I’ll make it work, even if I have to fly to see you every month.”
“I will,” she lied.
“Promise?”
“Cross my heart.”
They kissed once more, their fingertips lingering as Russell retreated. She made sure he wasn’t going to turn around before sitting next to her best friend. She rested her head on her shoulder, her orientation of the world mirroring her feelings.
“He likes you a lot.”
“It’s worse,” she confessed. “He loves me.”
On the plane, Russell’s words intermingled with Method Man’s poetic flow. She wasn’t a hip-hop fan, being more of a Neo Soul girl, but listening to it made her feel closer to him. She watched as the land gave way to the ocean, which then disappeared into the clouds. She fished her phone out from her pocket, opening the messaging app.
Russell, I had more fun than I’ve had in a long time. You’re right, I feel that we have a connection too, but I think the distance between us won’t allow us to sustain it. You deserve someone who can be with you at all times. That isn’t me. I’m sorry.
She deleted the words, her thumb hovering over the keyboard.
I like you a lot, but neither of us is in a place to maintain a relationship. I know you said you loved me, but maybe that’s just you trying to hold on to the moment. You’re a great guy and you will find someone equally as great.
She held down the delete key until she had a blank screen once again.
I can’t do this…
“Really Nariah, you’re gonna break up with him over a text message,” Olivia scoffed.
“No, there’s no Wi-Fi.”
“Even if there was, the man deserves better than that and it’s not just because he’s a billionaire. You’re better than that. At least give him a phone call.”
She stared out at the limitless sky for a few moments before pushing her phone back into her pocket. She switched to the Jill Scott album on iTunes, immediately relating to the melodious message of having a man that isn’t good for you crossing your mind. With a huff, she settled into her seat, using her jacket as a blanket. She shook her head and laughed as Olivia snuggled against her shoulder. A few minutes later, she had fallen into a peaceful sleep.
###
One Month Later
Life had resumed its normal pace, Nariah adjusting back to the States within a matter of hours, the New York traffic remaining a staple of her home. Her business had grown due to a feature in Shape Magazine as a prominent personal trainer. She suspected Russell had something to do with it, but hadn’t talked to him to find out.
Taking Olivia’s advice, she decided a phone call was the more respectable way to break off their short romance,, ecstatic when he didn’t answer and had to leave a voicemail. He had been calling nonstop since. For the most part, she was able to avoid his attempts to reach her, save for the few when he used a different number.
On those occasions she feigned an emergency. To further distance herself from him, she began dating, though nothing serious. It was more of a method to see if her tryst with him was a fluke. Olivia helped her set up a profile on a dating website, after which she received messages within an hour. As she guessed, most of the men wanted nothing more than a physical interaction, something she wasn’t interested in. The more she thought about it, she didn’t know what she wanted.
She huffed as she read over her date’s profile:
Steven Yates
6’4”, 230lbs
Interests include: long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners, and engaging conversation
Looking for: A woman to connect with mentally, emotionally, and physically. Wants a long-term relationship that leads to marriage and kids.
Kids.
She couldn’t figure out how she missed that. Kids wasn’t something she saw as being a part of her future, nor marriage for that matter. Being the modern woman she was, Nariah didn’t believe she needed a piece of paper to validate her commitment to someone. Another reason why she and Russell couldn’t be together.
She became lost in the transitioning leaves decorating the streets. She scanned her loft, her trip causing her to decide that it was time to splurge on some new furniture. A smile lifted the corner of her mouth as she thought about her and Russell sitting on a hilltop that overlooked the city. There was no pressure to be physical, no discomfort at all. Their conversation was easy and flowed without constraint, gaps of silence far and few between.
“It wouldn’t have worked,” she told herself.
An unexpected buzz from her phone caused her to jump out of her chair. With shaking hands, she answered the call, her tone a bit more short than she intended.
“Don’t bite my head off,” Olivia chided.
“Sorry, you scared me.”
“Buzz me up.” A few minutes later, she was strolling off the elevator with a dress bag hanging over her shoulders and a pair of matte black pumps in her hand.
“You know I don’t have to be ready for like four hours,” Nariah questioned.
“Beauty takes time, love.” After hanging the bag on the closet door, she helped herself to some leftover wine. She hissed after swallowing it down, pursing her lips together. “Doesn’t taste the same here.”
“Nothing does. I hope you didn’t bring anything ho-ish for me to wear.”
Olivia donned a sinister grin, though it couldn’t be sure if it was due to the tart wine swirling down the drain. “It depends on what you mean by ho-ish.”
“You know what I mean, potential for a nip slip or a rapist to say I was asking for it.”
“Then we’re good.” She led her best friend to the red leather couch, frowning as she fell into it, her tailbone hitting the metal frame. “You need to do something about this.”
“I plan on it.”
“The reason I came so early was so we could talk about your situation,” Olivia started. “You need to call Russell.”
Nariah scoffed before excusing herself to use the restroom. She turned on the faucet and sat on the toilet, her stomach cramping. She had been experiencing the same symptoms on and off since she had gotten back, attributing it to her body getting back used to American food, if it could even be called that. She swallowed the excess saliva in her mouth, a light sweat building on her forehead. In one swift move, she dropped to her knees, plunging her head into the bowl.
Her body quaked as everything she ingested during the day erupted from her stomach. Tears clung to her eyelashes, strands of spit clinging to her lips. Once she was sure she was done, she spit what was left in her mouth into the discolored water before flushing. Exhausted, she laid her head on the cool porcelain, finding instant relief from the heat in her skin.
“You okay in there? It sounded like you were throwing up.”
She flushed the toilet once more before climbing to her feet. “I’m good. I think I have a stomach virus or something. I might have to cancel.” She splashed water on her face and patted it dry before brushing her teeth, rinsing with peroxide afterward. She examined her skin, looking for any unfamiliar wrinkles or signs of sickness. With a gentle touch, she massaged her stomach, which was beginning to churn again.
“That’s not an option ma’am. You can pop a Pepto-Bismol tablet and suck it up, though.”
Nariah pulled the door open, her lips twisted, her eyes narrowed. “So you’re gonna take the blame if I throw up all over this man.”
“Gladly.” She looked her friend over. “Are you sure it’s a stomach virus, you look flushed.”
“It better be just a stomach virus.”
“It could be mo—”
“Don’t even say it,” Nariah warned.
Olivia showed her palms, stepping out of the way. “I’m just saying.”
“Well stop just saying. I know it’s not that.”
“Did you use protection?”
She instantly regretted telling her about her emotional session with Russell. They did use protection, for the first round at least. She racked her mind trying to remember if he pulled out, telling herself she would have felt it if he didn’t. She shook the thought from her mind, choosing to focus on her date. “I wanna see what you brought for me to wear.”
“Maybe you should take a pregnancy test.”
“I’m not taking a pregnancy test because I’m not pregnant.”
“How do you know?” Olivia questioned.
She meandered into the kitchen, the makeshift detective on her heels. She locked eyes with her as she struggled to uncork the half-empty wine bottle, filling a glass to the brim. She ignored her protest as she gulped the wine down, using the back of her hand to wipe the liquid trailing down the sides of her mouth.
“What does that prove, that you’re on the path to becoming an alcoholic?”
“Shut up, asshole. I’m sure my body would react some type of way if I was—” She covered her mouth, her ribs jumping beneath her breasts. Her feet slapped against the hardwood floor as she raced to the restroom.
###
Nariah smoothed her dress after stepping out of the car with the help of her good-looking Uber driver. She was tempted to ask him out, deciding against it after seeing the gold ring on his finger. She thanked him and waited for him to drive off before heading to the restaurant. She pulled her dress down three times while waiting to speak with the hostess. She made a mental note to chastise Olivia later, the dress skirting the line of ho-ish if it didn’t cross it. When it was her turn, she put on the liveliest smile she could.
“Hi, I have a reservation with Steven Yates.”
“Oh yes, he wanted me to let you know he would be running a few minutes late.”
Strike one.
“Did he say how long he would be?”
“Twenty minutes at the most, some kind of family emergency. He did leave his credit card information and said you can order whatever you want.”
It took all of her will power not to leave, convincing herself that his emergency was legitimate and that he deserves a chance. After all, unexpected things do happen. She followed the petite blonde to her table, thanking her after she set the menu and wine list in front of her. A waiter, who looked like he couldn’t wait to go home, arrived to take her drink order shortly thereafter. As he was leaving, he turned around after a few steps.
“I’m sorry, I’m sure this happens all the time, but how do you get your hair like that?”
Half of her was flattered that he noticed her attempt at going natural, the other half annoyed, knowing what was coming next.
“Can I touch it?” he asked as predicted.
She nodded, not having the energy needed to deliver a flippant response. She felt her stomach turn as he raked his fingers through her coils.
“It’s so soft.”
“Thank you.”
“Can you recommend any products? I’m gonna get my girlfriend to try it.”
“I’m sorry I can’t. It just kinda comes out of my head this way.”
He got the hint, leaving to retrieve her water with lemon. After he left, Nariah felt a pair of eyes boring into the side of her face. She looked to her right to see a middle-aged black man shaking his head, his top lip hunched in disgust. She hid her face in her menu, checking her watch to find that ten minutes had passed. A few minutes later, the waiter returned with her drink, not as friendly as he was previously. He was nonchalant as he recited the day’s specials, rolling his eyes more than once. She asked for more time, checking her watch again. Needing a distraction, she decided to check her phone, her mood brightening as she read a message from Olivia.
Guy still hasn’t shown up
Give him some more time. He might be nervous
It’s been going on fifteen minutes
Wait five more. Did he pay?
Yeah
If he doesn’t show up, order the most expensive thing. And get me something too
She closed the conversation with a thumbs up and smiley face. Just as she went to put her phone back in her purse, it rang; a contact by the name of No Answer lit the screen. She contemplated answering it, wanting to hear the familiar deep voice on the other end of the line. She let it go to voicemail, stuffing it deep inside her bag. As promised, she waited another five minutes, still finding herself alone.
Her waiter reemerged, his attitude still lackluster. “What can I get you ma’am?” The last word was intended to be a dig being that he couldn’t be that much younger than her.
“I’d like the filet mignon, medium rare, with a side of asparagus; tell the chef not to cook it too long. I like a little crunch. I’d also like the mashed potatoes and your finest, most expensive wine.”
Shocked, he asked, “Are you sure? That’s an expensive meal.”
“Good thing I’m not paying then. If you’re a good boy I might leave you a tip.” Once he was gone, she looked toward the gentleman who scolded her, this time receiving a nod of approval.
She finished the meal, satisfied with the way it tasted and the way the night went. She ordered the same meal for Olivia, in addition to two pieces of chocolate cake. Upon leaving, she instructed the hostess to add a $100 tip to the bill.
While waiting for her Uber, she heard someone call her name. A second later, she felt a cold hand wrap around her arm, pulling her away from the curb. “Hey.”
“I apologize.” After seeing the confusion on her face, he introduced himself as her tardy date. “I’m sorry for running so late. I hope you had a good dinner at least.”
“I did. Thanks for picking up the tab,” she replied.
“It was the least I could do, but no woman as beautiful as yourself should eat alone. I hope you can forgive me.”
“It’s fine Steven. Stuff comes up, I understand.”
His attempts to explain went in one ear and out of the other. She nodded, giving cliché answers to his questions. She sent thanks to the stars when her car arrived.
“Can we try again sometime? I won’t feel right until I make it up to you.”
“I have your information, I’ll call you. Have a good night.” The car’s dark tint turned him into an unrecognizable silhouette. She met the driver’s gaze in the rearview mirror. “Don’t ever use a dating app.”
Olivia was waiting in her car when Nariah arrived home. She punched in her code without speaking, avoiding eye contact as the elevator ascended. Once in her apartment, she kicked off her heels and dropped her purse in the middle of the floor. She slipped her dress straps off her shoulders, exposing her black lace bra. From the kitchen, frustration could be heard in the form of slamming cabinets and hissed expletives. “Stupid fu—” She cut her statement short upon laying eyes on the bottle her best friend held. She retrieved two glasses and sat on the couch, tucking her legs underneath her.
“You wanna talk about it?”
“I ate, let a white boy touch my hair, got scolded for it, and left. Your food’s on the counter by the way.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“Well I did. I should’ve ordered myself another steak,” she huffed.
“He didn’t show up at all?” Olivia asked.
“He caught me right before I was about to get in my Uber.” She realized she was so pissed off she didn’t take the opportunity to see how well the physical version of Steven matched up with his picture. It didn’t matter, she wasn’t planning on seeing him again anyway. She repeated his excuses, which changed with each question she asked. One thing she hated more than anything else was liars, bad liars at that. She chugged her wine, hoping to rid her mind of the night as soon as possible. After asking Olivia to warm up their cake and pop some popcorn, she headed off to take a shower.
Clean and dressed, while lotioning, Nariah listened to a conversation that she thought was between two movie characters. Her eyes widened when she heard his name, followed by his voice. She stormed into the living room, heat flooding to her face. Her anger grew as Olivia held up a finger, continuing her talk as if nothing was wrong.
“She’s right here actually. You wanna talk to her?”
“No, that’s alright.” His voice had the same effect on her as if he was sitting in front of her. “How does she look right now?”
“You better call back to make sure I’m still alive,” she joked.
“She’s right,” Nariah interjected. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop myself once I get my hands on her.”
“Hey beautiful.” Those two simple words melted her irritation in an instant. “I was just calling to check on you. Some of the meat we ate was recalled and I wanted to make sure you weren’t sick. Guess I was a bit late.”
“No, her not answering the phone was the problem.”
“You two are really gonna talk about me like I’m not standing here?”
“Here we are thinking she might have been pregnant.” The line went silent. “Hello. Russell?”
“I’m here,” he answered. “Are yo—”
“I’m not pregnant.” She managed to wrestle the phone away, taking it off speaker phone. “You have nothing to worry about. Thanks for calling. Bye bye.”
“Wait, please don’t hang up.” His breathing flowed through the speakers, not as smooth as it usually was. He was nervous. “It’s good to hear your voice. I miss you baby.”
She didn’t speak for some time, not realizing that she lowered herself onto the couch’s arm. She played with a curl, doing her best to hide her smile. She confirmed she was still on the line before returning to silence. She couldn’t help but replay their only intimate moment, caressing her arm, pretending her hand was his.
“I understand why you feel the way you do and I’m staying away out of respect for your wishes, but know I would come see you tomorrow if you’d let me. Also,” it sounded as if he was taking time to put together the right words, “if you are pregnant, I want to be in our child’s life.”
“How do you know it’s yours?”
“Because I know you.” It was true. He got her in a way no one other than Olivia did. He saw what she considered the worst parts of her and loved her anyway. His persistence in contacting also showed his commitment. Those things paired with his confidence in the potential child in her stomach made his love for her undeniable. “I love you Nariah, even though you’re being stubborn right now.” His chuckle inspired a tingle between her legs.
She looked toward Olivia, who was beaming; nodding and giving her a thumbs up.
“Have you given any thought to my proposition?” he asked.
“Not much,” she lied. “I’ve been busy. I went on a date tonight.” The last bit of information was to test his reaction. She cut her gaze back to Olivia, who was frowning, her thumb pointing down.
“How was it?” Not what she was expecting. “I hope you enjoyed yourself.”
“You’re not jealous?”
“Why would I be? It’s not going to amount to anything serious. And no one compares to me.”
She almost agreed until remembering that she was the one who wanted to break things off. “That arrogance is still a part of your personality I see?”
“You don’t become a billionaire without being arrogant,” he replied. “And you don’t get a woman of your stature to go out with you if you aren’t either.”
“Good answer, Mr. Haines.”
“Thank you, Ms. Alexander.”
She didn’t want to admit how good it felt to hear him say her name. It had a melodious ring to it that not anyone else could produce. She would have been content listening to him say it for the rest of the night. “I apologize for ignoring your calls.”
“It’s fine. I half expected it, though not for this long. Can I see you soon?”
The question sent a chill up her spine. She looked down to see her hands clenched. She curled and uncurled her toes as a way to release her newfound anxiety. Several seconds passed before she cleared her throat, letting him know she hadn’t hung up. “I—”
“Just for the weekend. I have some business out that way and I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t try to see you.” A moment of silence passed. “Please.”
“Wow. Was that humility I just heard?” she teased.
“If you tell anybody I might have to kill you…you know I have the money to do it. So, what do you say?”
She took some time to think it over despite having already made her decision the first time he asked. “I think I can move some things around in my schedule. You better have something special planned.” She squeezed her legs together as she listened to him laugh.
“We can go baby clothes shopping.”
“That’s it. I’m hanging up.”
“I love you Ms. Alexander. See you soon.”
She held the phone to her ear, listening to him breathe until a series of beeps ruptured the quiet. Her question didn’t have a chance to leave her lips before the beep that signaled the end of the conversation. She avoided looking in Olivia’s direction for as long as she could, continuing to hold the phone to her ear. She faked the ending of the conversation, making it seem as she was in control. “Call my secretary and we’ll set it up. Talk to you later. Kisses.”
Olivia twisted her lips and rolled her eyes. “Bitch.”
“Watch your mouth.”
“It was called for. Kisses? When did you start giving kisses?”
“I had to let him know that it’s strictly platonic,” Nariah answered.
“Right. So what was really said?”
“I think he’s coming to New York next weekend. He wants to get together.”
“To show you there’s nothing platonic between you.” Olivia retrieved their cake and popcorn, stretching out, resting her feet in Nariah’s lap. “I wish I had a man that loved me that much.”
“How do you know how much he loves me?” she asked, truly curious to hear her answer.
“Are you kidding, the way he looks at you, how much he’s called. You love him too.”
“I wouldn’t say love, a strong like perhaps.” The L word wasn’t something she considered in regard to Russell. She had feelings for him, feelings she hadn’t yet accepted. She thought about the sincerity in his voice when he told her he loved her. She found herself getting excited as she thought about the guarantee of seeing him in less than a week. She didn’t realize she was holding the same piece of popcorn until Olivia cleared her throat. She saw his eyes each time she blinked, the hairs on her arms rising as she imagined his touch.
“See?”
“See what?”
“How you got quiet when you started thinking about him. You’re in love, girlie.” She wiggled her legs, the piece of popcorn she threw, hitting Nariah in the chest. “Nothing wrong with that. Embrace it.”
“I’m scared.” Her voice was low as she made the confession. She leaned into Olivia’s hug, her heart thumping against her ribs. Her mind raced with thoughts of if she was going to tell him firstly, then how and when.
“Don’t worry about it for now. You have a whole week to think it over.” Olivia pressed a kiss into her forehead and tightened the hug before letting her go. The sentimental moment had gone as quickly as it came, the focus now on what show they were going to watch. Just before it was due to start, she stood in front of the TV. A wide grin split her lips. “One more thing.”
“What’s that?”
“You’re in love. You’re in love,” she sang, while doing the cabbage patch.
“Such an asshole.” Nariah laughed.
“Ya love me though.”