Graham
“So, what do you think, Graham?” Frank asks, eagerness on his tongue. Ever since he’s joined my team, he’s always told me this day would come. Some days I’ve found it hard to believe.
We were supposed to meet at a steak house, but at the last minute, they called and requested we come to the field instead. As we walk into the back offices, I catch a glimpse of the green grass and the perfectly painted lines on the field, and I know I’m home. This is where I’m supposed to be. I couldn’t have written my story better, being this close to home and able to fulfill my dream.
This is what we’ve been working for. Every pitch I’ve thrown. The sleepless nights away from Kennedy. These have added up to this single experience.
“I think you’ve got yourself a pitcher.” I reach across the table and shake hands with the coaches.
“We’re happy to have you. You’ve shown such growth since playing on our farm team, and I have no reservations of how well you’ll do on our roster. You’re hitting is spot on. Your curveball is hot, and not to mention, you have your head on straight,” Beckett says. He’s the pitching coach, probably one of the best in the league. Beckett has a lot to teach, so I’m thrilled to be working with him.
“In the next day or so, we’ll send over the paperwork for you to sign. You’ll be shipping out immediately, so prepare yourself. I know you have a family, so we’ll give you a couple of days, but with our schedule coming up, we may need you. Drake’s getting a bit cold, and it’ll be nice to have a new arm on the field,” Coach Winston adds.
“I’m set to go. My wife always knew this was a possibility, and we’ve had plenty of time to talk about how we’d make this work,” I explain, not wanting them to think I have any apprehension about being away.
“You have a son, too, right?” Beckett asks.
“Ben. He’s nine-years-old.”
“How do you think he’ll do with you being gone? I know my boys hate it, although they try to act tough when I’m away.” Beckett takes a sip of his drink, looking at me for an answer, but it’s more than that. His stare burns into me, curious if I’ll break in the end. Not everyone is made for the baseball lifestyle. It takes a toll on all involved. I’d be lying if I pretend it will be easy.
“He’s excited, but understands I’ll be away. I don’t think you can ever truly prepare a kid for something like this. One thing about Ben is he’s resilient. His life before Kennedy and I adopted him was difficult. He’s proven, time and time again, he’s far more mature than we give him credit for,” I explain. “It helps that my mother is staying with us, and one of my best friends is close by.”
“Well, we’re happy to add the three of you to our family. Anything you need, we’re always here.” Coach Winston stands, and I follow suit, shaking his hand, and thanking him for the opportunity to play on his team.
“The pleasure is mine. I’m expecting big things from you, kid.” His words shake my bones. Those are big expectations to fill. He leaves, apologizing for his busy schedule.
The walk back to the parking lot is a haze. My vision is blurry, and I almost don’t catch Frank speaking to me.
“You listening to me?” He chuckles, catching me in a daydream.
“I can’t believe I finally did it.” I shake my head in disbelief. “I fucking did it.”
Frank grips my shoulders and shakes me back and forth. “Let’s go celebrate.”
“I actually have somewhere I need to be.” I toss my keys at him. “Take my car back to the house, will you?”
“You’re in the city. Where could you possibly need to be that’s more important than celebrating the Majors?” Frank questions, giving me his signature look of disappointment.
“Where I always go when something good happens.” Plucking my phone from my pocket, I send a quick text.
“Tell Kennedy I said hello, and we’ll be chatting soon.” Frank’s smile tells me he understands, and he’s not disappointed in me for bailing on him.
I drive to Kennedy’s old apartment. It feels like a lifetime since I’ve made the drive through the busy New York City streets.
“Graham,” Richard calls when I lunge from the driver’s side door. I toss the keys to him.
“I need to see my girl.” I race past him. A smirk creeps onto his face when he sees my excitement.
I take the elevator, impatiently begging it to go faster. When anything good happens in my life, she’s the person I’m desperate to tell. Kennedy is my person in this world. Her willingness to shoulder my downfalls and lift my accomplishments is humbling. The girl is a god damn saint.
“What are you doing here?” Kennedy squeals, jumping from the couch and wrapping her arms around my neck when I walk into the apartment. “How’d the meeting go?” She checks me over to make sure I’m physically okay. I chuckle.
“Babe, I’m fine. Our meeting got switched to the city, so I drove in with Frank. He’s driving the car back, and I figured I’d ride home with you. Maybe celebrate,” I explain, running my palms up and down her trembling arms.
“Tell me what happened.” Kennedy bounces on her heels.
“It’s official. I’m a Yankee.” I scoop her up and swing her around. Her happy laughter echoes through the apartment.
I set her down, and tears pinch at the corners of her eyelashes. “Oh my god, Graham.”
“Baby, why are you crying?” I dab her tears away.
“I’m just so fucking happy. We needed this news.” She nods, and I can see the crack in her foundation. She’s worried, but in true Kennedy fashion, she’s doing her best to keep it cool and even.
The news of my move couldn’t have come at a better but worse time. With the mess with my dad, it’s nice to have something for us to look forward to. The other side of the coin is a little darker. With all the traveling, I’m going to be away from the house a lot. It’s late in the season, but they’re projecting a long post season. It’s amazing for the team, a dream for most of those guys. Hell, it’s my damn dream, but it’s going to be hard to be away from my family during such an uncertain time in our lives.
“Wait, you bailed on Frank?” Kennedy’s eyebrow scrunch together. “Why would you bail on him?”
“Because I wanted to kiss my wife and celebrate.” The second her softness touches my lips, I melt into her, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her in close.
An audible groan comes from the two mouths sitting on the couch. Through our lips, Kennedy and I grin in our friend’s directions.
“Do you two ever just stop?” Amanda ghosts her hands in the air. “Stop all of that, like ever?”
“We’re newlyweds,” Kennedy says. “We won’t stop this for like, what, another year, once the honeymoon stage is over?”
“Babe, our honeymoon stage will never be over,” I clarify, ushering us to the couch across from Amanda and Violet. My romantic side gains me an eyeroll and a tongue stuck out in my direction.
“Does this news mean you’ll be moving our girl back home?” Violet quirks an eyebrow at me. She’s been trying to convince us to move back to the city for far too long.
“Home is Connecticut, but I was thinking we may need a place in the city.” The idea of walking along the city street with Kennedy and showing Ben all the cool places the city has to offer brings a smile to my face.
A mention of a place in New York creates a whole new atmosphere in the apartment. The girls start rambling about locations and the best place to buy furniture. All the things we don’t need to be messing with right now. I knew I shouldn’t have said anything around Violet. She runs with an idea and doesn’t stop until it’s complete and up to her standards.
“So, what did you girls do today?” I interrupt their excitement.
“Well, our Violet over here suckered a pretty epic vintage wedding dress off an old lady,” Amanda says.
“Oh, fuck off, I did not.” Violet stands, grabs a box from the table, and sets it down between us. She lifts the lid.
I nod my head and smile. This is the reaction they’re expecting, right? Kennedy and Amanda tip their chins towards Violet, silently urging me to say something. What am I supposed to say?
“It’s a dress.” I run my fingers over the edge of the box, unsure of what I’m doing. There’s little chance I have any idea of the significance of this bundle of fabric.
Violet slams the lid on the box, wraps it in her vise-like grip, and storms off. The three of us jump when the door slams shut, rattling the pictures on the walls.
“What did I do?” I scratch my head, looking to Violet’s door and back to the girls. “Did I do something?”
“I think Violet is a little emotional right now.” Kennedy pats my leg, reassuring me I didn’t screw up.
“The look we were giving you was one that said ‘fucking compliment the bitch on the vintage masterpiece in front of you’,” Amanda adds, shaking her head.
I point to my crotch. “I have a dick, ladies. I don’t know a vintage anything from a Target sundress.”
A door creaks in the apartment, and footsteps fall on the wood floor. Violet slinks into the spot beside me. I wrap a brotherly arm around her, and she sighs as she lays her head on my shoulder.
“What’s going on, little lady?” I say, speaking lightly so not to spook her. If Kennedy is right, Violet could be seconds away from crying.
“I may have overreacted just then,” Violet says.
Amanda breaks out into hysterics, clutching her belly as her laughter reaches a high point. “May have?”
“I’m stressed.” Violet flails back onto the couch, covers her eyes with her arm, and roars like a protective lion over her cub.
“The wedding?” I ask, hoping to redeem myself over the dress fiasco. Not that I’ll be much help, but I know a breakdown when I see it, and Violet’s teetering on the edge.
“The wedding, my asshole parents not being able to be in the same room long enough to discuss their daughter, and I think I’m going to quit my job. I don’t even know why I’m complaining. You guys have enough shit on your plate.”
“Oh, quit being a martyr. We aren’t the only ones with things to worry about. And as far as your family goes, they’re dicks, and if they don’t get it together soon, I’ll personally drag both their asses into a room and force them to for your sake.” The cute way Kennedy’s head nods and her arms flail around is hard to resist.
Her tenacity is admirable but hilarious. Violet, Amanda, and I know Kennedy isn’t the person to send in to drag anyone, anywhere. Now if she said she’d sweetly ask them to come together for her best friend’s sake, it would’ve been more believable.
“Does Dan know about you wanting to quit?” I ask her, knowing Dan will never allow her to do something so rash without her truly thinking about it.
“We’ve talked a little bit.” She shrugs, unsure of where her life is headed. We’ve all been there. “Can we not talk about this right now? Let’s change the subject to Amanda.” Violet grins at her, knowing she’s playing with fire.
“Nothing to tell here.” Amanda stands. “I’m figuring my shit out. I don’t know what I’m doing tomorrow, let alone for the rest of my life, and I’m okay with that.”
“You know that’s not what she’s talking about,” I say, earning a wicked glare from Amanda. “Well, as fun as this is, the two people who actually have their shit together are going to get out of here.” I stand, picking Kennedy up from the couch and tossing her over my shoulder. “Say goodbye to your friends, Kennedy.”
Amanda and Violet wave, grinning from ear to ear. They’ve dealt with our antics since high school, so it’s no surprise that they don’t react at this point.
“Love you,” Kennedy calls out.
Our drive back to Connecticut is short and sweet. We walk through the front door to find Ben and my mom fast asleep on the couch. With a gentle touch, I rustle my mom.
“Oh my gosh!” Her entire body jumps, startling Ben awake.
“Mom? Dad?” His little voice is scratchy as he rubs the sleep from his eyes.
I swoop him up, carrying him to his bedroom. With ease, I place him on his mattress and tuck the comforter up to his chin.
“Did you have fun with Rico and Nana?” I ask, rubbing his head.
“Nana cried a lot.” Ben turns away, hiding his face in the pillow.
Of course, she cried.
“Nana has a lot going on, buddy. I’m sorry if she scared you.” I kiss his temple and turn on the small bedside lamp.
“She didn’t scare me,” he says before I leave the room. “Is she okay?”
“Nana Black will be just fine. I promise.” I flick the light switch and head back down the steps.
Kennedy has my mom wrapped in a blanket, and her shoulders bounce up and down with her cries.
“You can’t be crying in front of Ben, Mom,” I say, knowing how insensitive I’m being.
“I know, honey. I’m so sorry.” She bows her head. “I shouldn’t have behaved that way in front of him.”
My mom has nothing to be sorry for. She doesn’t owe me anything.
“No, I’m sorry, Mom.” I sit down beside her. Her head rests on my shoulder. “This can’t be easy for you.”
“And whatever you need, we’re here, Mom,” Kennedy adds.
“I know, honey.” She pats my wife’s leg and stands.
We watch her slink up the steps. Her shoulders are slumped, and when she glances back at us, her eyes seem hollow. When it comes to her, I’m helpless. It’s a parent’s responsibility to care for their children, and that doesn’t stop once children become adults. But somehow, I feel a duty to make sure she doesn’t slip into the dark place she’s just dug herself out of.
“I’m worried about her.”
“Me too.” I pull Kennedy to her feet and lead us upstairs.
When our bedroom door is closed, Kennedy drops her pants and falls onto our bed. “Today was meant to be special. It’s your big day. She didn’t even acknowledge it.”
I follow her onto the mattress and yank the covers over us until we’re cocooned.
“She has a lot going on.” I brush it off, because if I don’t, a flood of memories will take over. I find myself angry with my mom sometimes. She missed a lot of things in my life because of my father. Little League championships. School dances. Parent teacher conferences. Signing day for college.
He’s not even here, yet he somehow manages to disturb my life.
“Do you hear that?” I ask, needing a distraction.
“Hear what?” Kennedy rolls onto her side and tucks herself around her pillow.
“Exactly.” I grab the side of her face and run my thumb up and down her cheek. “This is my favorite time of my day. It’s in the silence where I find you and Ben. I can be anywhere in the world and hear your heartbeats. This is the part of my day where I know everything is right with the world. I find my comfort in the silence of our lives. It’s where my safety is.”
Kennedy chuckles happily. “I sometimes go into Ben’s room when I can’t sleep. It’s so quiet in there. When no one needs to say anything, and we are present among each other is mine.”
Kennedy crawls closer, resting her head on my chest as I find contentment in our bed. We both take deep breaths, and like an electric wire, I can hear the silent happiness hum in this house. Even with the mayhem our lives tend to stir up, we are always not far from a bit of silence to help put it into perspective.