The sounds calm me, but nothing stops the pain. My skin feels like it’s on fire. I can’t open my eyes and I’m not sure if it’s from the medication they’ve put me on, or if it’s from my injuries. Although, I don’t know what I look like. I have no idea what my injuries are.

“Gia,” his voice comes through the chorus of machines. I don’t move. If I do, he’ll know I’m awake. Then what? He’ll pity me. He’ll tell me he’s sorry and loves me. But why? Because he feels guilty. That’s why. No man would stay with me now. And I’m okay with that. I don’t want a man near me. I never want to feel the touch of anyone. The thought alone causes me to cringe.

“Mr. Draydon, I just need to administer the medication,” the nurse says quietly. “She’ll wake up soon. You don’t have to stay all the time.” Her voice has a smile in it. Almost as if she’s trying to placate him. To keep him calm from the storm I feel emanating from him.

“I’m not leaving her.” And there it is. Guilt. It’s so thick in his tone that I want to scream at him. Tell him it’s not his fault. It’s mine. Silence again. I hear the whoosh of the machines and I wonder if it’s drugs that will numb me. I want to feel nothing. I want to die.

Would they give me an overdose if I begged?

“I’ll be back to check her vitals again in an hour,” the nurse informs him. Silence settles, and I wonder if he’s actually going to leave, but he doesn’t. I feel his hand on me, I want to pull away, but I can’t move. I’m bound. I’m burning. I hurt.

---

“You’re a fucking little slut for running away from me. I was the one who took you in when your parents didn’t want you.” He hisses in my face. Dark eyes pierce me. They slice into my soul more than I ever believed he could. My flesh burns. The hot wax, mixed with the blood that drips from me is too much.

I beg. I cry. But it’s no use.

He pushes me down, my body flat on the cold concrete. And then he’s above me. He shoves his cock, hard and erect, into my body. I’m dry. It burns like acid. He grunts as he pulls out and shoves back inside me. Again, and again.

His hands on my throat squeeze hard, choking me as he violates me. “That’s it, whore. Take me. You love it. Don’t you? That’s what you and he did. He fucked you rough. I’ve known you for too long. I know you love being used like a fuck toy.”

He continues his assault. It rips me apart. My cervix feels like it’s being crushed. I’m about to pass out from his fingers choking me, but I’m not that lucky. He releases me, causing me to choke and cough.

As soon as I think I’ve earned a reprieve, he shoves three fingers into my mouth. The tips open my throat which make me gag and spit up bile. It burns, and tears form in my eyes. I can’t take anymore.

Elijah. I love you.

The words float from my heart, and I hope that they reach him. And that’s when I pass out.

---

“I love you so much. I… I wish I’d gotten to you earlier. Jesus, I can’t lose you, Gia. Come back to me. Please?” He pleads. Every day he does it. He sits there, holding my hand, causing me to retch, and he begs. He pleads for me, but I don’t know if I can find it in myself to ever let him back in. Not because I don’t love him, but because I do.

When the quiet comes, I sigh inwardly and then he’s on his feet and I realize I’m awake and he heard me. He can hear me and I can’t bring myself to tell him I don’t want him here. I no longer need Daddy to look after me.

“Gia? Can you hear me? Baby, are you there?” I don’t reply. No response means he may just move on. Maybe he’ll finally get the idea of moving on. Of leaving the broken toy. “I’ll never leave you, baby. I’m right here,” he affirms and my heart sinks. I don’t want him here. The only man I need is Carrick.

“Mr. Draydon, can we have a moment with Giana please?” That’s when he finally leaves my hand, but he leans in. I feel his hot breath on me and normally, I’d want it. I’d need it, but not tonight. All I want is to be alone. No men. No one who can ever see me as broken. As shattered. And no one who can ever learn what I really am.

“You’re awake, I know you are,” the nurse tells me when Eli finally leaves my bedside and I’m alone for the first time in days. When I open my eyes, she’s staring at me. “He loves you,” she tells me in an almost angry grunt as she tugs on the pipes and machines that connect me to life. To this world.

“I love him too,” I tell her earnestly. The only problem is that I don’t know how he’ll ever want someone like me.

“Why don’t you talk to him?” She asks the most practical question, but I can’t answer because I don’t know how. I love Eli more than life itself. He was the one who saved me, in more ways than he even knows.

“Sometimes, when you love someone, you have to let them go. And as much as it hurts.” I cast a quick glance at her, then my eyes find the door again. I continue. “As many times, as that person promises forever, no human can guarantee it. I almost died. He’s already lost someone he loves. I can’t allow him to lose me. The problem is,” I drag my stare over to hers. “Sometimes, no matter how much you’re meant to be with someone, life steps in and breaks it apart anyway.”

She watches me for a moment as if I’ve lost my mind. Perhaps I have. But in my head, I’m making sense. As much as I’m meant to be with Eli, life has fucked that and I can’t ever let myself allow him to love me in that way. He can’t lose me again, he can’t watch another love of his life die. I heard him that night. I heard him utter those words and I vowed in my deliriousness I’ll never be the source of his pain. I’ll never be the one he loses.

“What if you don’t have a choice?” the nurse asks me.

“Everyone has a choice. Get the doctor to sign my release documents. I need to go home. I can’t be here anymore.” This place is making me worse. I’m sick. I need help. And the only way to fix me is to get out of here and focus on a new life. Perhaps even a new city. If Carrick will help me, I’ll be able to get out of here, let Eli live a life of happiness with another toy, and I can try to heal from my injuries.

“He’ll never give up. Even after everything he’s still here. Lovie, he’s never going to give up on you. Mark my words.” She words it ominously. But deep down, I don’t doubt that Elijah will never let me go. No matter how I push, he’ll pull. And like a puppet, I’ll be tugged back by the strings that bind me to him.

“What are you doing, Gia?” I’m staring at Carrick across the room and I know why he’s asking. Because there’s a man outside the door that’s waiting to talk to me. I’ve avoided him for six hours. It’s a record for me, but now I’m caught and I have nowhere to run.

Savvie, Mason’s submissive, is seated just beside me. Her hand on my leg, holding it steady from bouncing.

“Let him in,” I say in a voice that isn’t my own. The door slips wide and there he is. In all his six-foot glory, the man who still holds my heart.

“Why, sweet girl?” he questions. His voice is husky, filled with emotion I don’t feel. I’m numb. Void of all emotion. I watch him stalk in and he stops just beside Carrick who’s sitting on the sofa opposite me. It’s far enough.

I can’t move. Savvie’s hand is the only thing anchoring me to this life. To the here and now.

“I need you to let me go, Eli,” I plead, but he shakes his head.

“Never.” His voice and tone are adamant. I’ll never be free of him. Not that I want to be, but I want him to be happy. To live a life without the memories of me. Of my brokenness. I’m no longer the woman he loves. If he thinks that then he’s sorely mistaken.

“Eli—”

“Listen to me, Giana, I fucking love you. I’ll never love anyone the way I do you. If you think, for even one moment, I’ll ever give up on you, then you’re sorely fucking mistaken. I’ll fight to the death to have you again. To put a ring on your finger, give you kids, a home, a family. And even if I manage that on my dying breath when I’m old and frail. I’ll fucking do it.” I don’t doubt him. Hell, I believe him more than I do anything else in my life. Past or present. But, right now, I can’t even stand being in the same room.

“Goodbye, Eli,” my words are a soft whisper. Filled with emotion and yearning, pain and anguish, and as I push up from the chair, and walk toward the door, I feel him. He follows me. His hand on my arm sends anxiety spearing through me.

“This will never be goodbye,” he bites out angrily. Not at me. Not at our situation. He’s informing me that I’m fucked. He loves me and as much as I want him to move on, I’ll never have that happen. He loves me too much.

“There’s a problem when you love someone too much, Eli. It can kill you.” He watches me then. His eyes never leaving mine. I feel him respond. Instead of words. He offers me something more. So much more than I ever thought possible.

Then, a moment later, he nods. His gaze drops to the carpet and I find I miss it. Like the air I breathe, I need him. His eyes on me. His hands keeping me safe.

“Gia, I’m already dead.”

And with that, he turns and walks away. He doesn’t tell me to call. He no longer offers promises. All he gives me is the raw, honest truth. I may not have died, but I killed the only man who loved me.

“Goodbye, Eli.”

And that’s when I break down. My body crumples to the floor in sobs that wrack me inside out. Carrick is gone. Everyone is gone but Savvie and me. She is on the floor beside me in seconds and I let it all out. I let all the loss ooze from me. And I let go of Eli in my tears.