“Are you going to see him?” Savannah asks as she rounds the bar. Ellie and Peyton are sitting along the counter top watching me with both awe and pity. I hate it. Dragging my gaze away from the glass of vodka I’m nursing, I meet Savvie’s big dark blue eyes. They remind me of an evening sky. And they twinkle like stars are hidden in them. Small blue gemstones. Lapis Lazuli.

“I can’t.” It’s the only thing I’ve said for three months. Spending time away from Elijah has allowed me to think. After what happened, I couldn’t bear him touching me. I couldn’t even handle him looking at me. I know I hurt him when I walked away, but I just couldn’t lead him on. Make him love me more when I wasn’t sure that love is something I could ever do.

I don’t blame him. It’s the last thing I do. But deep down, all I remember is pain. The agony. My skin slowly healed over the last few months, but it’s not the outer scars that hurt, it’s the emotional scars. The inner turmoil.

Nightmares have returned full force. I’ve been at the psychologist office more than I’ve been at home. I might as well move in there. I had to get a new doctor. A woman. The only man who can even come within a few feet of me is Carrick.

“You know he’ll never give up on you. Right?” Savvie says, the girls agree nodding their heads. Just then, our sweetheart walks in, Eva.

“Darlings,” she smiles. Her eyes land on me and she sighs. She’s seen Eli, I know he’s been talking to Nate more than anything. I think Rick has been on Eli’s shit list because he’s allowed me back to work, and Nate has become his confidant. The three men, Oliver, Elijah, and Nate have been in the club while I work, but they don’t allow Eli near me.

The first time he walked up to the bar, I lost it. My screech had alarmed the whole club. Carrick sent Savannah and Eva to take me to his apartment and let me sleep it off.

“Eva, is he…?”

“He’ll be in later. I think you should hear him out to be honest. He’s been shattered, Gia. I’ve never seen any man in such a state. Just once. Even if you want us there. Allow him to talk to you. Please?” She watches me for a moment before I sigh.

I could try. “Will you and Sav be there?” She nods. “Okay, I’ll try. I’m not promising anything, just… I just don’t know how else to make this right.”

“He loves you. There’s nothing you need to make right. He’s going to prove to you that you can be with him.” She seems confident, which makes me smile. Something about this woman makes me smile. “Come here.” She nudges her head to the side and reaches for my hand when I join her. “I have seen Nate’s monster, I asked him for it and he broke me. I’m not saying it’s the same. I could never understand the agony you’re going through, but when a man loves you so truly, so honestly, you need to try. It may take time and that’s okay. I know you love him.” She smiles. It’s a sweet, gentle one and I nod. It’s true.

“I do.”

“I know. That is why I need you to give this a chance. Don’t let love go. If you do, you’re letting that monster win. I know you’re not doing it intentionally, but in a way, you’re allowing him to rule your life.”

“He is, I know he is,” I tell her the truth.

“Then don’t.”

It’s been three months and I’m still running. Still hiding. It’s time to stop. Time to grow some lady balls and hopefully heal. I don’t know how, or if it will work, but I know I’m going to try.

As soon as I walk into the room, I feel her. I’ve always known. Always been connected to her. Magnetized. But this time when I feel her, it’s different. I know it because when my eyes meet hers, I realize it’s not that long-lost love. It’s not chemistry. It’s nothing. There’s nothing there. She regards me with a look that confirms it. It’s over.

Strolling into the room, I notice Savvie sitting in the corner reading. I’m not sure where Mason is, but he’s clearly losing his shit if he’s letting her sit here and referee a match between Gia and me. I hold the dozen red roses out to her as I near her.

“You look pretty,” I tell the woman who’s still every part of me as I am of her. Giana. She does look beautiful. A cute dress hugs her curves which has an intricate pattern of roses. A soft blush paints her cheeks and I wish, ache even, to see that blush on her ass. Shaking my head, I stalk closer, finding a seat in one of the many chairs dotted around the room.

“Thank you for coming,” she says, as if I’m a fucking stranger. I don’t reply immediately. Perhaps I’m an asshole, but I’m angry. Not at her, but at our situation.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Look, I needed—”

“No, this is my time. I’m here because you pushed me away and I accepted it. I allowed you time off. I gave you everything you ever wanted and now, now it’s time for what I want. I love you, Gia. I’ll never stop fucking loving you. So it’s time you realize that as many times as you push me away, all the times you force me to choose between coming here and stalking you or staying home sniffing the clothes you left behind, I’ll always be here. No matter what.”

And I mean it. In all my brutal fucking honesty I mean it.

“I want to give you everything. A family, a home, kids, a dog, a cat, whatever the fuck you want, Gia. Just let me in. Give me one fucking chance to prove I love you. To make you see I’m no monster. I’m yours. As you are mine.”

I watch her for a moment. Only one second before she’s in my arms. The pain that’s been holding us both hostage for months falls away. We’ve kept it, held on to it. It’s become a goddamn security blanket, but she no longer needs it because I’m here. I think she needed it to keep herself safe. That’s when it happens. Her eyes tell me the truth. She finally says it.

Her lips part and the words tumble between us.

She takes the chance.

She confesses it.

She whispers, “I love you, forever.”

“As I love you, Gia,” I whisper in return.