Chapter Thirteen
Emma
When I wake up, there’s a brief moment where I don’t know where I am. I’m nestled and warm in the blankets and my head is buried tightly beneath one of the pillows, but they’re not covered in my familiar pink silk cases.
Then I remember that I’m in Damien’s cabin in the woods. Opening my eyes, I yawn and sit up. Damien is sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at me.
“Good morning,” I say shyly. I feel awkward and groggy – it always takes me a long time to wake up, and Damien looks like he’s been up for hours. He’s wearing an intense expression and the same plaid shirt as yesterday.
“You were out cold,” Damien says. He gets to his feet without taking his eyes off me. For once, they’re focused on my face instead of my curves and I let the sheet fall away from my breasts in an effort to entice him. But it doesn’t work – Damien strides out of the room.
I frown as I get up and pull on my clothes. They’re freezing cold from being on the floor all night and I shiver as I make my way into the living room. Damien is sitting in front of the fire with a cup of coffee cradled in his hands. He doesn’t look at me as I pass.
It stings – I want Damien’s attention just like I want his love. I want him to grab me and pull me back into the bedroom for a round of hot, passionate sex. But on the other hand, this is all very new. Maybe he’s just getting used to the fact that he’ll be sharing his tiny five-room cabin with a loud girl who craves him.
Suddenly, an idea pops into my head and I grin. I know just the thing – I’ll make breakfast! I’m not much of a cook because my family has always employed Gina, but I’ve made the occasional eggs and pancakes platter for myself. Damien’s stove is weird and vintage, but I’m sure it’s the same principle.
“What are you doing?” Damien asks as I walk into the kitchen.
“You stay there,” I say firmly. “I want this to be a surprise.”
The mountain man doesn’t reply, but thankfully he doesn’t follow me, either. I hum to myself as I bustle around the tiny little kitchen. I find a cast iron skillet under the sink and set it on the stove before grabbing butter, eggs, bacon, and the ingredients for pancakes from the fridge. Soon, the small space is filled with the scent of eggs frying in butter and bacon sizzling right on the stove top.
When I’m finished, I’m pretty proud of my work. It doesn’t look like world class cuisine, but it looks hearty and comfortable and that’s good enough for me.
“Breakfast!” I call in a cheery voice. “Come and get it!”
I set everything down on the table and then take my seat as I wait for Damien. When he appears, he doesn’t smile as he sits down.
“I made everything,” I say happily. “There’s fresh bacon and eggs, and—“
“I can see that,” Damien says drily.
My muscles tense and I turn to him in confusion. “What’s wrong?” I ask softly. “What’s the matter? Did I do something wrong?”
Damien doesn’t reply for a long time. “No,” he says finally. “You haven’t done anything wrong, Emma.”
Something about the tone of his voice is unsettling. It reminds me of the first time we met, when he was pacing around the cabin like a wild animal. I had sensed a powerful well of strength in him that day, but also a very private wall. For a long time, it seemed like the wall was starting to come down.
But now I wonder if I made the whole thing up. Did I imagine this, our closeness and our intimacy?
“There wasn’t any maple syrup,” I say as I help myself to a stack of pancakes. They came out perfectly – thick and doughy, just the way that I like them. “But I used a lot of butter, so they should be good. And you know what? We could grow berries in the spring and add those, wouldn’t that be so yummy?”
Damien doesn’t reply. He takes a single piece of bacon and takes a bite, chewing thoughtfully. I can see the muscles twitching in his jaw under his beard.
“And the next time I go into town, I’ll get maple syrup for us, maybe I can even find some that’s locally made,” I chatter on. “And I’ll get some Doritos, wouldn’t you like that? I can get some wine, too – or are you more of a beer person?”
Still, Damien says nothing.
“And then for dinner, I was thinking I could make some roasted vegetables with our steaks. I saw some potatoes in the pantry. Gina – you know, my family’s chef – used to make this really awesome dish! She’d cut potatoes in half and then roast them in the oven with olive oil and sea salt and it was so simple, but like, so good.”
Damien stares at me dully and finally, I stop talking.
“Sorry,” I mumble under my breath. My cheeks flush hotly. “I was probably babbling on like an idiot.”
To occupy myself and my big mouth, I take another bite of pancakes. They’re so good that I can’t help moaning a little bit as I chew.
“You can’t stay here, Emma.”
My jaw drops and the food falls to my lap as I look up at Damien in shock.
“What?”
“You heard me. I said that you can’t stay here. You have to go.”
I press my lips together nervously and wipe my chin with a napkin. “What are you talking about, Damien? What’s going on?”
“You should try to patch things up with your father, Emma. He’s family. He’s your blood – he raised you.”
The first thing I feel is shock. It’s like being plunged into a pool of ice water. Cold and horrible and painful. Goose bumps break out over my skin and I wrap my arms around my body and hug myself tightly.
He wants me to go?
He can’t be serious.
“Was the breakfast really that bad?” I make an attempt at a joke, but Damien doesn’t laugh. When he doesn’t answer, I stare at him. “Why do you want me to go?”
Damien sighs. “What we had was just a fling, and I think deep down, you know that to be true. I don’t want you here.”
His words are absurd and I burst out laughing. It’s not appropriate, I know, but I can’t help it. “You can’t be serious,” I reply. “There’s no way. We’re … well, we’ve gotten so close. I came to you because I needed help.”
Damien doesn’t reply. He takes a bite of bacon and then wipes his hands on a napkin. Despite the tough exterior that he’s trying to project, I can tell that he’s conflicted. These words don’t sound natural coming from him.
There’s definitely something going on.
If only I knew what it was.
“You’re not being honest with me,” I say quietly. “There’s something else going on, and you’re not telling me about it.”
Damien shakes his head. “Emma, nothing is going on. But you have to leave. I can’t have you here.”
I stand up and put my hands on my hips. “You can’t have me here? Or you don’t want me here? Which is it, make up your mind!” Now, some of the shock is turning into anger. I can’t believe that he’s still trying to push me away when I’ve made it so clear that I need him.
Damien gets to his feet and starts pacing around the cabin. Again, I’m reminded of the first time I was here when he couldn’t stop angrily stomping around as I ate.
I was afraid of Damien then. But now something tells me that he’s afraid of me.
“Tell me,” I demand as I turn to face him.
“There’s nothing to tell, Emma,” Damien growls. “Just get out of here. Go!”
“I don’t believe you!” I cry loudly. “I think you’re keeping something from me because you’re scared and afraid of what it means to open up to someone!”
Damien is silent. He stops dead in his tracks and shakes his head. When he turns to face me, there’s an odd expression on his face. It’s both ironic and slightly cruel and my heart leaps into my throat at the glint in his sapphire eyes.
“Your father, Jason Hadley,” Damien spits. “He was my business partner. We founded Xander Corp together years ago. And he betrayed me and had me sent to prison for embezzlement when I didn’t do a goddamned thing wrong!”
The blood drains from my face and I have to grip the edge of the table to keep from passing out. For a long moment, I can’t even breathe. Then my lungs start to burn and I gasp for air, breathing like it might just be my last.
“This is why you have to leave,” Damien says sternly. “You have conflicted loyalties.”
I shake my head. “You don’t get it, do you? I don’t owe my father a darn thing. He’s treated me really badly for my entire life.”
“No,” Damien says. “You can’t be here. You have to go.”
Hot tears rush to my eyes and before I can stop them. They’re streaming down my cheeks. My nose fills with gooey snot and soon I’m a hot mess, sobbing so hard that I can barely stand up. I keep waiting for Damien to apologize and take me into his arms but he just stands there, staring at me.
“Please,” I sob. “Please Damien, don’t make me go!”
The mountain man crosses the room and opens the front door. Cold air rushes into the cabin as he stands there with his hand on the deadbolt.
“Emma, go,” Damien says dully. “You can’t be here anymore. You have to go home to your family. Make things right with your family. Family is all you have.”
But I don’t have anything without you! I want to cry out. Unfortunately, there’s something about the look in Damien’s deep blue eyes that tells me he isn’t kidding.
God, he really does want me gone.
The tears come harder as I shove my feet into my boots. The whole time, my heart is pounding and my whole body is shaking. I can’t believe this – after turning to the man I love for help, I have nowhere to go.
I can’t go home. I can’t face my father. And I can’t go running to Lacey, either. Since I never told her about Damien, there’s no way I could tell her the whole story from the beginning.
Sniffling loudly, I turn to Damien and give him a pleading look. “Please don’t make me go,” I whisper. “Please don’t do this.”
Damien gives a single jerk of his head. “I’m sorry, Emma,” he says gravely. “But you have to leave.”
As I stumble out the door, my vision is blinded with tears.