PT was not only boring and tedious, it hurt like hell. No matter how many times I told the trainer that I wasn’t up to doing what she asked, she pushed harder and harder. By the time Abi pulled up outside the players’ entrance to pick me up, I was ready for the pain pills I’d been avoiding so far.
If not for the fact that I was pretty sure I was already a goner over her brother, I would have leaned across the truck to kiss her when she greeted me with a bottle of water and my medication. “I grabbed these out of Sean’s bathroom before we left,” she told me. “I figured you’d be too pig-headed to admit you need them.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I scoffed.
“Exactly what I said. You’re a stubborn man, and admitting you need the pills is some sort of weakness in your eyes.”
“Is not,” I argued. I instinctively reached for the handle over the door when Abi whipped the wheel to the left to beat the oncoming traffic. I clutched my right arm against my chest when I realized how stupid that was. The pain that had been barely tolerable when I got done with therapy was now agonizing. “Be careful, would ya? I’m pretty sure your brother will be pissed if you crease his truck.”
“Yeah, your bitching has nothing to do with the fact that you didn’t trust me and grabbed the oh-shit bar, does it?” she scoffed with a dramatic eye roll. “I’ll have you know I’m the only one of us kids who’s never totaled a vehicle.”
“Oh, that makes me feel better.” I tried to relax, a feat on par with trying to scale a mountain, as Abi wove her way through downtown Chicago. I had to give her credit, not only did she get us to my condo without incident, but she also managed to find parking close by.
As soon as we walked through the front door, I caught a whiff of cleaning chemicals. Since I knew for a fact that my mom was in Springfield and I hadn’t asked the cleaning service to come by, that meant Abi had spent the day cleaning an already spotless condo. Sean was right, something was really wrong, and I was going to figure out what it was.
“Hey, what do you say we watch the game here? If we head back as soon as it’s done, we’ll probably still get home before Sean does,” I suggested. I couldn’t explain why, but I figured it might be easier on Abi not to be at her brother’s for a while. “The fridge is empty, but I’m sure you already knew that. I’ll order takeout and we’ll kick back.”
“Sounds good to me,” she agreed quickly. “Like I said, I’ve spent most of the summer so far at Sean’s place, so it’ll be a nice change of scenery, even if your place is a bit sterile.”
“Hey now! I think it’s pretty decent, given the fact that I’m rarely here,” I protested. When she flopped down on the couch next to me and planted a sloppy kiss on my cheek, I knew she was trying to rile me. “You’re a brat, you know that?”
“So I’ve been told.”
I picked up the phone and called in an order for Chinese before searching for the game in a sea of about a thousand channels. I wondered why I bothered paying for the premium package since it was rare that I even turned the damn thing on.
The announcers were still doing their pre-game analysis, so I muted the TV and turned to face Abi with my arm draped over the back of the couch with a bag of ice over it. “You can tell me it’s none of my business, but were you totally honest with Sean this morning?” I asked, cringing because I sounded more judgmental than I’d intended.
“What do you mean?” Abi asked, chugging her bottle of water.
“I mean, I know you told him that you’re worried about school and all that shit, but is that all it is? If it is, you need to quit stressing about it and relax over the summer,” I advised her.
“No, but it was enough to get him off my back,” she admitted, worrying her lower lip.
“Anything you want to talk about?” I offered, because now that we were talking about her issues, I Abi was retreating into her shell. I wasn’t good at this shit. I didn’t have any siblings, and whenever Teresa had been upset, I’d dealt with it by trying to get off the topic as quickly as possible.
“Yeah, that’d work real well,” she sneered. “No offense, but if I tell you, you’re going to run and tell him out of some sort of screwed up loyalty to him.”
“No, I won’t,” I promised her, reaching for her hand. “Abi, if something’s bothering you, you can always talk to me without worrying that I’m going to tell him. The only exception would be if I think you’re in danger, but even then I’d tell you that I was going to tell him.”
“Are you for real?” She asked warily.
I pinched myself for dramatic effect. “Yep, pretty sure I am,” I confirmed for her. “Now, tell me what’s going on so we can figure out how to get you out of this funk. No offense to you, but moping and shoving food in your face doesn’t work for you. You’re supposed to be annoyingly happy and optimistic.”
“None taken. Remember, you said you won’t tell Sean,” she reminded me, causing me to wonder exactly what was going on. I nodded and reached for her hand. “Okay, well toward the end of the school year, I was supposed to be at the cabin with Mom and Dad, but then Leanne wanted Mom’s help looking at reception spaces, so that blew apart. I was pretty pissed, because Leanne was yet again the center of attention and Mom waited so long to cancel that everyone already had plans for Friday night. I decided to hole up in my room and study for finals instead of get shitty drunk with the girls downstairs.”
This didn’t sound good at all. I took a few breaths to keep from jumping to conclusions, and there were plenty to choose from. I motioned for her to continue, and she started to cry. I scooted closer to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. She slumped into my side as she gently sobbed.
“I walked out of my room to take a quick break, and I heard voices coming from one of the rooms across the hall from mine.” She angrily wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Let’s just say that my boyfriend had no problems making other plans since he thought I would be out of town. And to make matters worse, when someone told him that I was home and in my room, he knocked on the door and pretended that he hadn’t been in that whore’s room all night.”
“Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry,” I said, attempting to soothe her. “It’s no excuse, but I will say that men are assholes sometimes.”
“Yeah, tell me about it,” she huffed.
I peeked over her shoulder as I tried to get her to calm down, checking on the game. It didn’t matter if we watched or not since Sean was between starts, but I told him I’d watch so I was.
When the doorbell rang, I got up and paid for the food. I heard Abi pulling out plates and silverware, so I dropped the bag of food on the island and turned the television so we could see it from the stools. I was impressed with her commentary on the game, since most girls could barely wrap their heads around the basics.
We wound up leaving my place during the top of the eighth since the Mavericks were up by seven. Abi was still a bit sullen on the drive, but I didn’t press her to share anything else with me. I figured I’d do well to take it slow and earn her trust so she knew I wasn’t fishing for information.
The first half of the drive was uncomfortably quiet. I reached down to turn on the stereo, but every channel seemed to be on commercial break at the same time. While I rummaged through the console for Sean’s CD collection, Abi turned the volume all the way down so we were back in silence.
“Mason, can I ask you a question?” I glanced over to the driver’s seat and saw her hands gripping the wheel as though we were driving through a blizzard. She really needed to get past whatever had turned her from bubbly to uptight. Fast.
“Anything.”
“Have you ever thought about having kids?” she asked, the words so quiet I barely heard them over the rumble of the engine.
“All the time,” I admitted. “Granted, I think I’ve spent more time thinking about why I couldn’t have kids than why I wanted them, but I think everyone wants a family.”
She gnawed at the corner of her lip. One mile went by, then two without her saying anything more. “Why do you think you can’t have a family?”
“Well, first it was because I wanted to be home for my kids,” I told her. It sounded silly since there were plenty of players who started families while they were playing, but I didn’t want that for my own. I figured I’d play ball for a while, then move on and still have time to have it all. “Then, Teresa and I started having more problems, and I knew I didn’t want to bring anyone into that chaos. And now…well, you’re a smart girl, I’m sure I don’t have to give you a basic biology lesson. I can’t say for sure that this thing between Sean and me will last forever, but as long as we’re together, it’s not like anything we do is going to lead to the next generation of ball players.”
“That’s not true,” she countered, eyes still on the road in front of her. “There are plenty of gay couples who have families. The question is whether or not you want that.”
“Abi, we’ve been dating, or whatever, for about two minutes, I think it’s premature to start planning that far into the future.”
“Humor me. Let’s say, hypothetically, that you and Sean are still together down the road. Is that something you’d want?”
“If we got to that point and both of us were on the same page, then sure.” Traffic started to get heavier and I was given a reprieve from this little dream world Abi was trying to weave. That didn’t mean I stopped thinking about what it’d be like to have a family with Sean.