By the end of the first week of spring training, I felt every single workout I’d skipped in my aching muscles. I was still throwing harder and faster than ever, but it also took me longer to recover. “What the hell was that, Tucker?” Coach yelled as I sat down to grab some water.
It didn’t help that I was still trying to get used to the sauna-like conditions of the desert. My body was pissed off at me for the sudden temperature shock, which wouldn’t have happened had I come down earlier. But I hadn’t, and now I had to gut through the coughing and wheezing without complaint.
“You were all over the place out there.” I didn’t need him shrieking at me to know that I’d messed up. On top of everything else, my head wasn’t in it today. I didn’t mention any of the reasons for my lack of focus because if they sounded like flimsy excuses to my own ears, Coach would tear a chunk out of my ass if I tried to feed them to him. “It’s like you forgot how to control the damn ball over the winter. Speed and power won’t do shit for you if you can’t get the ball over the plate.”
“I’ll do better tomorrow,” I promised. We all had our off days, especially at the start of training. It’s part of why we were down here busting our asses before everyone else. Logically, I knew that, but it didn’t keep me from feeling like Stu was going harder on me because he thought I had something to prove to the team and everyone else. It was no secret that the big story this spring was an openly gay pitcher and whether or not he’d have a limp wrist now that he wasn’t trying to act all macho.
Coach stormed off to go deal with a rookie who had more raw talent in his pinky than most teams carried on their rosters. He’d likely be sent to the minors at the end of camp, but I had no doubt we’d be seeing him in the bullpen before too long.
I turned on my phone to check messages before jumping into the shower. I hated being so far away from home right now, but we were doing what needed to be done to keep the disruptions in our life to a minimum. My heart started racing when I opened the text message from Mason.
You need to Facetime me as soon as you get this. Love you. Don’t freak out, just call me.
Jason walked into the locker room and found me staring at the screen. He sat next to me, grabbing the phone to read Mason’s message. “You gonna call him or would you prefer to sit there staring at your phone for the next hour?”
Sitting there doing nothing seemed to be a good idea. It had taken me a while to come around to Mason’s suggestion, and now that I had, I was so invested it’d kill me if something happened. He’d given me hope and a life I’d never dared dream of and I worried that he wanted to see my face when he gave me bad news.
“God, you know I love you like a brother, but sometimes you’re impossible,” Jason groaned. Before I could protest, the shrill ringing on my phone let me know that Jason had pushed the one button I couldn’t. I held my breath as we waited for a connection.
The second Mason’s face came into view, my heart lurched into my throat and I couldn’t suck in any air. Along the pale yellow wall behind him, I saw monitors and a curtain. He was in the hospital. He shouldn’t be there. It was too soon. “Hey, babe! Hey Jason.” The concerned waver in his voice was a direct contrast to the wide grin on his face. “Let me guess, he started freaking even though I told him not to?”
“Yeah, something like that.” Jason bumped his shoulder into mine. “It’s a good thing the rest of the guys aren’t down here yet. They’d have a field day watching him break down.”
Overall, the guys had taken my sexuality in stride. A few of them still gave me dirty looks and avoided changing if I was anywhere in the vicinity, but most of them went out of their way to make sure I knew they saw me as one of the guys. That meant I wasn’t immune to the shit-talking that was commonplace.
“Now, you want to tell him what’s so urgent before he strokes out?” Jason urged him. He was exaggerating, but not by much.
Mason set down his phone, leaving me a view of the tile ceiling. I heard him talking to someone, then a chair scraping across the floor. His phone jostled around, making me a bit queasy, but I couldn’t look away. And then…I broke down like a girl the moment the most beautiful face in the world came into view.
“Sean, meet Asher Nolan Tucker. Ash, that’s your other daddy,” he cooed to the wiggling bundle of blankets in his arms. And the one with the dark hair is your Uncle Jason. He’s an alright guy most of the time.”
Jason moved the phone to his other hand so he could drape his other over my shoulder. If the entire team had walked into the room right then, it wouldn’t have made a damn bit of difference. I reached out and traced my finger over the image of Asher’s face. “He wasn’t supposed to be here for three more weeks,” I sobbed. I’d already talked to Stu and told him what was going on so I could try to be home for Asher’s birth. Abi made me promise her I’d be there. “I wasn’t there.”
“Babe, it’s fine,” he assured me. “Abi woke up this morning having contractions and by the time she realized that they weren’t those fake contraction thingies, I thought she was going to give birth in the passenger’s seat of my Jeep.”
“Oh fuck! She didn’t, did she?” I asked, hating that I was stuck on the exact opposite end of the country from every single thing that mattered in my life. I tried jumping off the bench, but Jason refused to let me go. I had to go. I had to get out of the park and to the airport.
“Sit the fuck down,” Jason warned me as he handed the phone to me. “I’ll go touch base with Stu and then start looking at flights.”
I thanked him and slid to the floor in front of the lockers. I felt light-headed and the last thing Mace needed was me cracking my skull on the concrete. “How’s Abi?”
“She’s good. Sean, you’d be so fucking proud of her.” He beamed as he told me about the delivery. Every once in a while, he’d pause to press his lips to Asher’s forehead or stroke his face. I tamped down the tinge of jealousy I felt that he got to spend this time with Asher while I was sweating my ass off. “She’s sleeping now, but I know she’s looking forward to you getting up here.”
That made at least two of us. Jason came around the corner and held up his hand. “Hey, sorry to bother you guys, but I got you on a flight in three hours. We need to get going so you have plenty of time. I let Stu know what’s going on and he wanted me to have you give him a call on the way.”
“Thanks. I owe you one,” I said. I turned my attention back to my family. “Babe, I’ll text you the flight info and call your parents. Stay up there and take care of Asher and Abi. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“I have no doubt.” Mason chuckled. He lifted Asher’s tiny fist and waved it in the air. “Bye Daddy, love you!”
Daddy. I was a father. I had a son and a best friend I planned to spend the rest of my life with. As I pressed my fingers to my lips and then to the screen, I realized there was more to life than throwing the perfect pitch.