A weight had been lifted off my chest following this morning’s meeting. There was an end in sight and every reason to keep my distance from Sean had evaporated. I was so fucking tired of doing the right thing, and it dawned on me as I made my way to his house that Sean was the only person I needed to work to keep happy. He was what mattered in my life, and I intended to prove that to him.

I loved him and I wasn’t willing to give up on us without a fight. He needed to know that, but I couldn’t form a coherent thought with Sean teasing the head of my cock with his tongue.

I thought I was going to come hard enough to blow off the back of Sean’s head as he took my throbbing cock into his mouth. His tongue worked the length of my shaft until the tip of my cock bumped against the back of his throat. “Sean, not going to last,” I warned him.

We’d done fast and dirty blowjobs so many times, and I wanted tonight to be different. My mind told me to dig my fingers into his shoulder, to push his amazing mouth away from my dick and share my plans with him, but the rest of my body was unable to do anything that would delay the buzz of ecstasy building in my spine.

He placed his hands behind my knees and shoved my legs back, opening me up to him as he continued sucking my shaft. I screamed when he took one of my balls into his mouth, humming in appreciation. The vibration shot through the entire length of my dick and I just knew I was about to explode.

“Sean,” I protested half-heartedly as he took me deep again, this time swallowing around the head of my cock, sucking hard enough I was forced to focus on not fucking his mouth. He moaned his acknowledgment, but didn’t slow his ministrations on my body. He dug his fingers into the globes of my ass, spreading me wide for him. He inched closer to my crease as he continued working my dick.

His body shifted lower as he tugged my hips to the edge of the mattress. I lifted my head to take in the sight of him on his knees between my legs.

“God, don’t stop,” I begged him as he licked my hole. It was then that I realized this man knew me better than I knew myself and we were on the same page. I squirmed, trying to press myself harder against his face as his tongue breached my hole. I felt as though whatever he gave me would never be enough.

“Roll over, baby. I want to make you feel good,” he growled, backing away enough to flip me onto my stomach. I thanked whatever gods were responsible for the appearance of this forceful side of his personality as his palms grazed over the backs of my thighs. “Get on your knees.”

Afraid he’d stop if I hesitated at all, I quickly did as he’d asked, burying my face in the comforter to keep from begging him to touch me back there. His hand slid languorously over the small of my back, up to my shoulders. I felt the sides of his broad chest pushing my legs further apart on the mattress.

“You’re a walking wet dream, do you know that?” he praised, trailing kisses over the path his hand had just taken. “I’ve dreamed about having you at my mercy for so fucking long, but I never imagined it’d ever be more than a dream.”

“Me too, baby,” I admitted. His hot breath ghosted over my ass as he continued massaging my body. Had I known back then that he’d make me soar like this, I would have given in to my desires the day we met. I wasn’t foolish enough to think that life would have been easier if I’d been with him this entire time, but it definitely would have been more pleasant.

“Oh, fuck!” I shouted as the tip of Sean’s tongue made contact with my hole again. I’d always wondered how anyone could enjoy having this done to them, but now it was one of my favorite acts. Sean’s hands held my cheeks apart as he teased and tortured from my balls all the way to the small of my back.

“Please Sean,” I begged, although my brain had short-circuited and I had no clue what I was asking him for. He nipped at my cleft before burying his face, working the puckered flesh until the muscle softened enough to allow him entrance. I yanked a pillow from the head of the bed, needing something to bite down on before the neighbors called the cops thinking something was horribly wrong.

One strong hand moved to the center of my back, pushing my upper body against the mattress as he started fucking me with one long finger. “You tell me if it’s too much. I want you, but only if you’re ready.”

“I’m good,” I assured him, panting as I tried to catch my breath. “I want you, baby. I need to be yours.”

“You already are, Mace.” He added a second finger next to the first, scissoring to open me. To prepare me. To claim me.

He kissed my shoulder blade and I was overcome with the tenderness he showed me. “No more waiting. I need you inside me.”

We’d talked about this moment, but only in the theoretical sense. I knew from that very first night that there was something different and right about being with Sean. We were both tested regularly, and I didn’t see the point in using condoms as long as neither of us planned to be with anyone else. I’d never handed over that level of trust to anyone else in my life, but it was easy when thinking about being with Sean.

An icy chill flew through my body the second Sean stood to grab the lube from the other side of the bed. He looked down at me and chuckled. I rolled onto my back so I could watch him, see the look in his eyes the moment we crossed the point of no return. Because there was no doubt in my mind that what we were about to do would bind us to one another. “God, you’re going to turn into a greedy little slut on me, aren’t you?”

“If you make me feel as good as I do right now, you can fucking count on it,” I moaned, shifting into a more comfortable position for both of us. Sean stood over me, staring at me with enough heat in his gaze that I might have moaned in anticipation. No one in my life had made me think I was going to blow my load from nothing more than a look. “Are you just going to stand there or did you plan on doing something?”

I folded my arms behind my head as I watched him strip in record time. He slowly eased himself onto the bed next to me, pushing the hair away from my face. “I mean it, Mace. We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”

The fact that he was willing to stop right now, when we both so obviously needed this was another of the many reasons I loved him. I wanted to tell him soon, but to do so while naked in bed somehow cheapened the moment, and I didn’t want him thinking it was merely an off-handed comment made in the throes of passion. “I’m ready, Sean. I’m not sure I’ve ever been more ready for anything in my life.”

“It’ll be easier if you roll over,” he suggested. I pulled his body over mine, digging my fingers into his hips.

“Not a chance,” I protested. “I want to watch you. I want to see the look on your face the moment we both realize that you own me.”

Sean lowered himself onto his elbows, kissing and biting his way along my jaw before sucking hard on my Adam’s apple. “Put your hands behind your knees,” he directed me, and I did as he asked.

All of my senses seemed heightened as I waited to give him the one part of myself I’d never shared with anyone else. I heard the uneven cadence of our breathing, tasted his unique flavor lingering on my lips. The scent of our combined arousal was thick in the air as I reached out to steady the hand that visibly shook as he slicked his shaft.

“Hey, I’m supposed to be the nervous one here,” I teased, hoping to bring his mind back to me. Nothing else mattered. “It’ll be fine. I trust you, and I know that making love to you will be fucking amazing.”

Sean pressed into me slowly, the entire time talking me through how to make things easier on both of us. For a moment, I thought I’d made a huge mistake in thinking this is what I wanted, but that gave way as the tight ring of muscle relaxed. I’d never felt fuller or more complete than I did in that bed with Sean. We both held still, not even daring to breathe until I had to plead with Sean to move.

“You’re too tight, baby,” he groaned. I’d always thought that’d be a good thing, but he said it as though he was in considerable pain. “Going to go off like a Roman candle. Too soon, too soon…”

He thrust into me again, filling me until his hips ground against mine. I clenched my eyes tight and felt his hand against my cheek. “You okay, baby?”

“Yeah,” I panted. “Are you?”

“Just trying to make this last,” he informed me as he resumed a languid pace, pushing and pulling, kissing and caressing every inch of my body.

“We have our entire lives to make it last. Do what you need for now.” I hoped that wasn’t a lie. Sean wrapped his hand around my shaft, stroking in time with his cock inside my body. I wanted to do something to show him how amazing it felt to be with him, but my body was on overload.

Sean braced himself against my legs and began pounding me harder. I pulled back on my own legs, shifting my body slightly to allow him deeper into my body. With every punishing thrust, the head of Sean’s dick slammed against my prostate, rocketing me closer to climax. My head thrashed from side to side as my orgasm built, drawing my sac tight to my body. “Babe, I’m gonna–”

My warning fell short as I spilled over Sean’s hand and onto my own stomach. Sean momentarily paused before taking up a fevered pace, pounding into me as the muscles in my ass clenched around his length. The sight of Sean’s head thrown back as he screamed my name was one I wished I could see every fucking day from now on.

Sean collapsed on top of me, both of us panting and spent. As he tried to roll to my side, I tightened my grip around his back, not wanting to experience the loss of his warmth.

“You okay?” he asked, running his fingers through my hair as he searched my face for any sign of regret.

“Better than any man has the right to be,” I confessed, arching my back so he could feel my already filling cock.

“Put that thing away,” Sean groaned. “I’m going to be useless for at least a few hours. Remember, some of us had to work today.”

Eventually, Sean rolled to my side and we cuddled on top of the comforter for a quick nap to recharge. Or it would have been quick if we weren’t both utterly exhausted, both mentally and physically. By the time we woke up, the sun was peeking over the horizon and my stomach was growling. I eased out of the bed and shuffled downstairs to start a pot of coffee before waking him for round two.

He came downstairs a few minutes after me, wearing nothing but a pair of flannel lounge pants. I turned away from him to regain control of my raging hormones. It’d be so easy to ignore the past few days—hell, the past month—but we needed to talk.

I leaned back into his embrace when he wrapped his arms around me. “Are we good?” he whispered in my ear. He was playing dirty. He knew it was impossible for me to think straight with his tongue working the hollow behind my ear. “I know I fucked up before, but I didn’t mean to push you away.”

“I know that,” I assured him, placing my hands over his. “But what I don’t know is why.”

Sean released me and poured himself a cup of coffee. He cocked his head to the side, silently inviting me to join him on the patio. I loved sitting out there with my coffee in the morning, listening to the sounds of birds chirping in the small nature preserve behind his house. I took a seat on the wrought iron love seat and held out my hand to him as he sat next to me.

“That night at Eric’s, you sat there talking about what you wanted in life. When you talked about having a family, you were so animated. I started seeing you as a father, and that scared me,” he admitted.

“Why?”

“Because that’s not something I’ve ever wanted,” he responded. “But you made me think about what it’d be like.”

“And that’s bad?” I asked, growing more confused every time he opened his mouth.

“Um, it is when that’s not really in the cards for me. I’m a ball player. It’s what I’ve always wanted to do. I’m not like you, I don’t think about what life will be like when I’m done playing, because I can’t think about that yet.” Sean squeezed my hand tighter as he sipped at his coffee. “And then you talked about how you weren’t sure you wanted to play if it meant moving away, and that was a huge red flag for me. I don’t ever want you resenting me because you walked away.”

And there was the source of his panic. I tried to remember exactly what I’d said to give him the impression I was walking away for him. Whatever I decided to do, he might be a factor in my decision, but it’d be what’s best for me. I turned to face him. “Sean, I’ve been thinking about retiring since the beginning of the year. It’s not the same as it used to be for me, and there are other things I can do. Other things I want to do. And it may be too soon to think about it, but they’re things I want to do with you by my side.”

“See, that’s what scares me,” Sean admitted. “You say shit like that, and you seem so certain of what you want. What happens if you wake up someday and realize that you want what you want, even if I’m not ready?”

These moments when Sean let down his guard enough to show me he wasn’t as in control as he’d like the world to believe were priceless. I knew he’d spent so much of his life holding back his fears because of how his family would use his doubts against him. Whether he’d admit it or not, it was a sign that he trusted me implicitly.

“Then we’ll talk about it,” I promised him. “The way I see it, the only way we’re bound to fail is if we can’t talk when something’s upsetting one of us.”

“I can deal with that.” When he looked at me, the clouds of doubt had cleared from his eyes. My tongue traced across my lower lip, imagining everything I’d like to do to him. If there’d been any doubts about whether or not this was simply a phase for me or experimentation, they were erased by the thoughts of everything Sean could teach me.