Grey was becoming a part of my life so rapidly and so seamlessly that it almost felt surreal.

A few weeks passed by in a sort of momentary bliss: we’d work during the day, often spend time together at night, just cooking or reading or watching movies together. We’d take Chewy for walks, talking about everything and nothing, like I hadn’t done in far too long. I’d play guitar for him. Massage him after long days.

…And touch him in other ways, too. Grey was like no one else I’d ever slept with, so responsive to every touch and so in tune with me. I’d dream about his mouth on me, and then wake up only to have the real thing moments later. He was insatiable, and it made me insatiable, too; we sometimes just had to share a look to know when the other was ready.

All of this, after just a few weeks.

Some part of me felt like the time constraint on being able to be with one another made it all the more intense. As soon as I’d learned of his decision to leave Fox Hollow, it was like something broke loose inside me and I didn’t want to hesitate at all with him. He didn’t seem to want to either.

I found myself in an interesting place one morning when I realized that one of the places we were set to clean at work was the animal shelter Grey volunteered at.

I’d heard Grey talk about the shelter—how heartbreaking it could be, how attached he would get to certain animals—but stepping foot inside the place was something else entirely. It was big, bigger than I would have expected for being in such a small town. There was lots of barking, as would be expected, but overall the place was very well-kept, despite needing a deep cleaning.

I watched as a middle-aged woman came, taking dogs one by one out of their kennels and moving them out to a general common area so we could clean.

“Good morning,” I said to her, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Morning—no, thanks, that’s alright, the dogs know me so it’s probably better if I do the handling. Very sweet of you to offer, though,” she said, snapping a leash on the dog in front of her.

“You don’t happen to know Grey Foster, do you?” I asked her.

“Of course I know Grey,” she said, standing up to meet my eyes. “He’s one of the best volunteers we have. You know Grey?”

“I’m his next-door neighbor.”

Her eyes went wide. “Oh,” she said with recognition. “You’re him? Adam? Wow. Grey’s told us about you, but he really wasn’t kidding about you being handsome, was he?” she said with a wink.

I felt a slight blush move across my cheeks. “He’s talked about me?”

“Are you kidding?” she said. “He doesn’t shut up about you. Adam did this, Adam did that, Adam’s so good with Chewy. He really likes you, y’know.”

The blush deepened. I had no idea what kind of stuff Grey had said about me.

“Sorry to get you talking,” I said. “I know we’ve got limited time to get all the dogs rounded up.”

She grinned at me. “Don’t worry about it. I’m glad to have met the famous Adam. I’m gonna give Grey such a hard time about you. It’s a real shame he’s leaving, though.”

“Oh,” I said, a little startled. “He’s told you guys that?”

She nodded. “He told us just last week. He’ll be gone in what, a month and a half now? It’s going by too quickly.”

I nodded. “Way too quickly.” I felt a pang as I realized that she was right—it was now only about six weeks until Grey was set to leave. I had been trying not to think about it, to put it out of my mind, but every time I got a reminder about it, I was thrown.

Because I was really, really getting used to having him around. And I didn’t quite know anymore how I’d feel without him being there.

* * *

There was a telltale envelope sticking out of my mailbox when I got home. I knew immediately it had to be from Chandler—he always had fancy stationery to send out his party invitations, and he said “every little detail counted” when it came to planning an event. Even the envelopes for invitations.

This envelope wasn’t quite as crazy as other ones I’d seen—I swore he’d sent out ones that looked practically gilded before—but it was beautiful still, covered in colorful geometric patterns. After tearing it open and glancing over the invitation, I immediately reached for my phone to call him.

“Chandler,” I said when he answered the phone.

“Adam,” he said, in his warm, resonant tone, “It’s you.” Chandler had always had the kind of slick, crooning voice, so nice even just when talking that you could tell immediately he must be a great singer.

“It’s good to hear your voice.”

“I could say the same! It’s been too long, Adam, where in the hell are you now?”

I took a deep breath, glancing around the room. “I’m in Washington State, actually. Tiny town called Fox Hollow. Ended up here a couple months back.”

“Wow, I’m surprised you’re even in the country,” Chandler said with a laugh. “And a couple months, you said? You’ve really stayed in one place that long?”

Now it was my turn to laugh. “I know, isn’t it strange? Shit, the weirdest part about it is that it doesn’t even feel like I’ve been here very long at all. Years ago I’d be itching to leave after a week, I’m sure.”

“Jesus. Who are you and what have you done with the Adam I know?”

“I know. I must have been taken by aliens and reprogrammed in the night. But, God, Chandler, I’m… loving it here, dude.”

“So what’s to love about it? I’ve never even heard of… Fox Hollow, you said?”

“I love it all. The scenery, the lifestyle, the atmosphere. Everything’s easier here. And… the people.”

“Ooooh,” Chandler said in a singsong voice. “Did you meet someone cute, Adam?”

“Someone more than cute. That’s why I’m calling. I just got your party invitation, and… I wanna ask him to come with me to the party, if that’s alright. His name’s Grey.”

“Of course you can bring him. God, I’d love it. I don’t see you enough, Adam, and if you’ve got a boyfriend I want to meet him too.”

“Well, he’s not really my boyfriend, even though we… do everything that boyfriends would do. I don’t know. It’s kind of weird.”

“Why weird?”

“Well, for one, he’s moving away in a little over a month,” I said. “And also, he isn’t out to his mom about being bisexual.”

“Ouch,” Chandler said. “That really sucks, dude. But you can definitely bring him to the party. I’m surprised you even asked.”

“Well, the invitation does say that the party will be smaller than your usual big bashes, so… I just wanted to confirm you wouldn’t turn away my gorgeous date if I brought him along.”

“Fuck no, I’d never turn him away. Bring your gorgeous man, Adam. And yeah, it will be a little smaller… I wanted to scale back a little for this party, really only bring in the people I feel closest to. I’ve realized that some of the big parties I’ve been throwing, I don’t even know half of the people who show up.”

“Yeah, the big ones are always a little nutty. But other than that, how have you been, Chandler?”

I heard him take in a deep breath on the phone. “Well, I’ve been alright,” he said, his voice uncharacteristically sad. “But I do want to have some time to talk with you if you come down to L.A. Hey! You should stay at my house. I’d be so glad to have you. You and… Grey, was his name?”

“Yup—and holy shit, that would be incredibly nice. I still need to run it past him, but that sounds perfect.”

“I’m glad to hear it. I’d really love to talk to you. I’ve got some news.”

His voice really did sound strange. He was usually cheerful as can be. “Chandler, is everything okay?” I asked.

“It’s okay. Or at least, I know it will be eventually. I don’t know, man. I’d rather talk to you more in person rather than on the phone, to be honest—but I can’t wait to see you, Adam.”

“I’ll ask him tonight,” I said. “Take care, Chandler. Hopefully I’ll see you soon.”

* * *

As if on cue, about three minutes after I hung up the phone I heard Grey’s knock at my door. He always knocked like a madman, using two hands and tapping wild rhythms into the door, and it had gotten to the point where even hearing that would send a hot thrill through my body.

Because it meant he was here.

I swung open the door and let him inside, immediately pushing him back up against the closed door, meeting his lips in a hungry kiss as I gripped the open sides of his hoodie in my hands.

“Mmm,” he murmured against my lips, kissing me back and throwing his arms around me before pulling back. “What is all this for? Not that I’m complaining.”

“Just wanted to touch you all goddamn day,” I said, then kept kissing along his neck. He smelled fresh, like the outdoors, and distinctly like himself, which I had come to enjoy immensely.

“Have you eaten yet?” I asked him.

“Nope, I’m starving.”

“Good. I wanna take you out to dinner.”

“Lucky me,” Grey said, leaning back and smiling at me. “Where do you wanna go? Fox’s Diner sound good?”

I shook my head, leaning back off of him and going to fetch my keys. I tossed them up into the air and then caught them with my other hand. “Nope. Gonna take you somewhere else tonight.”

“Ooh,” he said, eyeing me. “A surprise?”

I shrugged. “I guess so. Nothing crazy. Just somewhere I’ve been wanting to check out. You ready to go?”

We walked out front to my truck, and I started the engine after two tries. “So,” I said to him after we got started down the block, “Guess where I was earlier?”

“Hm… I dunno. Where?”

“The animal shelter.”

“Really?” Grey asked, his voice going up an octave. “I mean, I guess it makes sense you’ll want your own dog after Chewy and I leave… but… I didn’t know you were already looking to adopt?”

I felt a pang in my chest. I’d been thinking so much about what it would be like when Grey left that I didn’t even realize how sad I’d be that Chewy would be gone, too. I shook my head, turning the corner to the main street. “No. I’m not adopting any animals. Not yet, at least.”

“Then why’d you go there? You knew I wasn’t working there today.”

“Well, I was working there today, actually,” I said, briefly turning to smile at him before looking back at the road.

“Oh, shit! That’s right. I forgot the deep cleaning was scheduled for today. What did you think? Did you see Snowball? God, he is the sweetest cat and he’s been there for a couple weeks—”

“I did see Snowball, and I specifically remember wanting to take him home with me,” I said with a smile.

Grey shrugged. “Maybe you should. Cats are easier than dogs.”

I laughed. “They are,” I said, “I’ll think about it. I did love him. But, I also met your coworkers,” I said.

He groaned. “Oh God, what did they say about me?”

“Oh, nothing much….” I teased him.

Grey let out a short laugh. “Did they tell you embarrassing shit?”

“No. They did say that they’d heard a lot about me, though.”

“Oh fuck. That is embarrassing. I, uh….”

“It’s fine, Grey. It’s fucking adorable, actually. You talk about me there?”

“No. I mean, well, yes, but I didn’t think I talked that much about you—God, sorry Adam,” he said, and in my peripheral vision I saw him rubbing his forehead with his hands.

“Grey,” I said, reaching over and putting a palm to his knee, “I absolutely loved it. And I also loved seeing where you worked. So many of those animals seem like such sweethearts. And when your coworkers weren’t embarrassing you, they did say that you are one of the best volunteers they have there.”

We stopped at a red light, and I looked over to see that he was smiling softly. “I do really love helping out there. Everyone is so damn nice.”

I nodded. “It seemed like it. And they’re really gonna miss you,” I said.

He took in a deep breath and let it out. “I’m gonna miss them, too.”

We drove a little further in silence, watching as the sky slowly darkened beneath the clouds. Rain began to fall, just a very light dusting, more mist than a full rain. After ten minutes Grey finally spoke.

“Man, where the hell are we going?”

“You’ll see. We’re not too far away at this point.”

A little over five minutes later, we pulled up. The restaurant wasn’t exactly in the middle of nowhere, but it was off the beaten path, a beacon of warm, glowing light in the otherwise overcast day.

“Stony Ridge Farm to Table?” Grey said, reading the illuminated sign. “Jesus, I’ve never heard of this place, but it looks packed,” he said, taking off his seatbelt and leaning forward.

“It just opened, actually,” I said, “A week or two ago. I’ve been meaning to go ever since, but I haven’t gotten around to it.”

“How’d you find out about it?” Grey said, and then we got out and started walking slowly toward the building. It was made of rich wood, and looked at once both hipster and down-to-earth, with lantern lights illuminating the front patio.

“Well, one of my friends actually works on a farm not too far from here—David, I stayed with him before I found my own place—and he supplies eggs to this restaurant. He told me I should come down, so… I thought I’d take you out to dinner. This place is supposed to be all fresh and farm-to-table, if you couldn’t tell by the name.”

“Seems fucking awesome to me,” Grey said, and we walked in the front door. The restaurant looked as good inside as it did outside, and the ambiance was perfect: lots of young couples and families, light music playing, and tons of happy conversation. It had low enough lighting to feel cozy, but not so dim that it felt over-the-top. There was a long wood bar at one end with plenty of beer on tap.

We were seated in a cozy booth and started browsing the menu. “Get whatever you want,” I told him. “I really do want to take you out tonight. Let’s get drinks, appetizers, everything.”

“Oh wow,” he said, looking over the menu. “This is a little bit pricey.”

“Hey,” I said to him, “I want to do this for us. We’ve spent tons of nights at home just cooking—and I love doing that—but I want tonight to feel special. You deserve it, Grey.”

He sighed, and I noticed he was blushing a little, but he nodded. “Okay. Well, in that case, I am so ready for a margarita.”

I laughed. “That’s the spirit. I’ll get one too.”

Fifteen minutes later our drinks were in front of us and we’d put in an order for a ridiculous amount of food. We clinked our margarita glasses together and took a sip.

“Oh God that’s good,” Grey said, eyes going wide. “Strong, but good.”

“It is,” I said. The low music that was playing over the speakers stopped, filling the restaurant only with the chatter of the people inside. A minute later, I realized why—a live band was setting up on the far side of the room, at least 5 members in the band.

“They’re setting up for live music,” I said, gesturing over.

“Awesome,” Grey said. “This place is fucking great. God, thanks so much for bringing me here. I’d never get to come to a place like this normally.” He rested his arm on the table, cradling his chin in his hand. It made him look so sweet, so young, and it made my heart squeeze a little in my chest.

I nodded. “Of course. …And also, I wanted to ask you something else tonight.”

He lifted an eyebrow. “Go on?”

“Well,” I said. “It’s kind of a big thing to ask, especially considering I know you’re so busy gearing up for your big move.”

“Mhm…” he said, nodding.

“But there’s this big party coming up, and I wanted to know if you’d go with me.”

He paused. “Party? Who’s having a party?” he said, taking another sip of his drink.

“Well, Chandler is having one. Not one of his usual gigantic parties, but… I’m sure it’ll still be a Chandler party, nonetheless.”

Grey looked at me blankly for a moment. “You mean Chandler Price?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Of course.”

“…Who lives in Los Angeles.” Grey said.

I nodded again. “That’s the one.”

Grey let out sort of a loud, barking laugh. “Um, Adam, I really appreciate it, but there is no fucking way I can afford a plane ticket to L.A. You should go, though. Have fun. And send me lots of pictures.”

“I know you can’t afford it,” I said, “but I want you to come. Really want you to, actually. I can get you a ticket, and Chandler already said we can stay with him—”

“Get me a ticket?” Grey said, setting his drink down.

“Yeah. I don’t mind at all, I want to do it—”

“I really don’t think so,” Grey said, leaning back, a concerned look growing over his face.

Just then the waitress came, plopping down our guacamole sampler and chips on the table. She slowly explained the different intricacies of each different guacamole, down to where the different avocados were sourced.

“How is everything, guys?” she said finally. “You enjoying the margaritas?”

“Love ‘em,” I said, shooting her a warm smile, but silently hoping she would leave us to talk.

“So glad to hear it. I’ll be out with your meals in just a little while.”

“Thank you,” I said, and as she slipped away, the live music began playing, a sort of country-rock band that I was surprised to find myself enjoying.

“Grey,” I said softly, leaning over the table toward him.

“I’m sorry,” he said, finally meeting my eyes, looking up at me from under his long lashes. He was so beautiful in that moment—in the low lighting of the restaurant, his features looked so delicate and gorgeous that for a moment I couldn’t even believe I was with him.

“You don’t need to apologize,” I said. “I understand. It’s a really big thing to ask. I want you to come with me so much, though. I’ve never…” I trailed off.

A moment passed.

“You’ve never what?” Grey asked.

“Uh. I don’t know,” I said, stumbling over my words.

“Just tell me, Adam. You can tell me whatever you want.”

“It sounds stupid, but I was just gonna say I’ve just never been with someone that I wanted my friends to meet so badly.”

The smile that broke out over Grey’s face flooded me with warmth. He went from looking shellshocked to looking happy in about two seconds flat, and it took everything in me not to lean over the table and kiss him right then and there.

“You’re serious?” he said.

“I am totally serious.”

His smile only got bigger and I could see his cheeks redden as his lashes pointed downward toward the table. “God, Chandler Price, though? How could I even begin to fit in at one of his parties? Isn’t it gonna be like, celebrities galore?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so. Not this time, at least. I talked to him earlier and he said it’ll be smaller and more intimate. All the 5*Star guys will be there, though.”

“Wow,” he said, meeting my eyes again. He took in a deep breath, then another sip of his drink. I watched as a bead of condensation rolled off the glass and down the delicate skin of his wrist. “I just… can’t help but feel like I’m not… worth it,” he said, eyeing me.

“Worth it? Worth what?”

“Y’know… going to a party like that. Like if you showed up with me next to you… people would wonder why you weren’t with someone hotter, older, better….”

“Jesus Christ, Grey, are you nuts?”

“Huh?”

I sighed, trying not to act like I was angry at him, but I really couldn’t believe he would be saying something like that. “I’ve been sitting here trying to talk myself down from telling you how incredibly gorgeous you are tonight, Grey,” I said. “You’re amazing. And I know you might not see it like I do, but it’s true.”

He was silent for a moment.

“You don’t need to tell me your decision tonight. But think about it. The party is in two weeks, so it would probably be good if I got the tickets in the next few days. It’s up to you though. Completely.”

He nodded, and I let the conversation drop for the time being. I certainly didn’t want to pressure him, but I could tell that the only reason he was hesitant to go was because of his worry about the cost. But since being in Fox Hollow, I’d had so few expenses that I’d actually saved up a relatively modest amount, enough to cover a second plane ticket. And the more I thought about it, the more I wanted him to be there with me. I wanted some of my oldest friends to meet Grey.

Our food came out a while later, and it was nothing short of fantastic—everything fresh and well-made, from the seared steak, to simple mashed potatoes, to corn with herbed butter. We promptly devoured the food and watched from our booth as people slowly started to file out in front of the stage where the band was playing, dancing and swaying to the music. We ordered another round of margaritas, and I slowly began to feel the alcohol loosening my nerves, rounding out the edges.

It only made Grey look more beautiful to me. My eyes were drawn to him like magnets and it was honestly a little bit alarming how I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. Looking at him made me feel warmer inside, like if I caught his eye I remembered everything that was good about my life. He clearly enjoyed the food more than he let on, and it was strangely comforting knowing that I’d been able to take him out and show him a special evening.

I nodded toward the dancing couples in front of the band. “I love that people are dancing,” I said.

“I know, it’s so cute,” Grey said, twisting in his seat to look.

“Come out there and dance with me,” I said, putting an arm under the table to rest against his knee.

He shook his head emphatically. “No. No way. I don’t dance, dude.”

I smiled at him, watching as he chugged a big sip of margarita. “C’mon, dude,” I said. “There’s plenty of people out there. The lighting is super dim. Nobody’s gonna see you or make fun of you or care at all.”

Grey craned his neck around, looking at the people dancing, assessing the situation. “God, that is so not something I would usually do. I mean, I listen to mostly angry punk music, not… whatever this is….”

“Doesn’t matter. I think you’d be perfectly good at dancing to this, and I think you’re going to,” I said, slowly snaking up out of the booth and crossing over to his side. I held out my hand.

“Come on,” I said.

He shook his head, eyes glimmering up at me, cheeks already turning pink. But I saw the beginnings of a smile on his face, so I knew I had to seize the opportunity while I still could.

He took another big swig of his drink. “You know you want to do it, Grey,” I said with a goofy smile. “Just one song. For me. Darlin’,” I said in a country drawl, like the singer was saying in the song.

He took a big breath in, giving one last glance to the people dancing. “Oh goddamnit, fine,” he said, getting out of his seat. “You better make it worth my while.” He grinned at me, and I could tell he was starting to feel the margaritas as well.

“Of course,” I said. We went out to where the other couples were crowding and I took Grey’s waist in my hands. As I looked around I realized there was no one demographic to the crowd—now there were young people and elderly, people dancing with small kids for fun, a pair of women with short hair dancing in each other’s arms.

Grey still seemed sheepish.

“Just like this,” I said, swaying in time with the music, and I leaned in a little closer to him. “You got it,” I said.

We moved to the beat, soft and steady, just blending into the crowd and occasionally smiling at the other people dancing nearby. I led for most of the dance, but as we went on Grey got more confident, too, and seemed to loosen up. I expected that as soon as the song ended, he’d break away and want to go sit down again—but as one song wound down and another began, I was shocked to find that he stayed right where he was, in my arms.

He leaned in close to me, and for a second I thought he might have been moving in for a kiss—which would have really shocked me—but he was just leaning up to talk to me. “This feels nice,” he murmured in my ear.

I nodded. “It really does.” I stayed closer to him, just enjoying the feeling of our bodies next to each other out there dancing to the music. It was strange to think that this was such an intimate moment, considering that Grey and I had done much more “intimate” things—but usually it was in the privacy of one of our homes, and even doing something as simple as dancing together out in public felt monumentally special to me.

I wanted more like it. I realized all at once that I wanted to be able to do this kind of thing with Grey all the time—be able to have him next to me, to do things like this together but also just stupid things, like grocery shopping together. It hit me hard just how much I loved being with him.

And then it hit me even harder, swaying next to him as the band started to play a slow song and the music swelled around us, knowing that Grey would be leaving so soon.

Portland wasn’t that far away. It wasn’t at all inconceivable that I’d still be able to see him—I could drive down to Portland on my days off, and he would still be taking bus trips up to see his mother on his days off.

But I had no clue if he’d even want to do that. Long distance was terrible, and I’d never been able to make it work before.

The shock of not being able to see him whenever I wanted was going to be a big one. I had only known him for under two months, but I had gotten so used to him being around. He was literally a part of my life, both in the sense that I walked his dog and was his next door neighbor, but also in that we’d grown to expect to hang out nearly every night. It felt comfortable, being with him. Not at all forced.

And it didn’t give me any feelings like I wanted to escape. That was what had happened with all of my previous attempts at relationships—I’d be excited about a guy, want to spend so much time with him, but it would inevitably crash and burn, especially if I was traveling too much to be able to see the person.

It was terrifying thinking that the same thing might end up happening with Grey. Instead of me being the one who was leaving, it would be him. For the first time ever, I wouldn’t be the one traveling away, I’d be the one left behind. Grey had defined my entire time being in the town. And on that night, dancing next to him in the restaurant, his familiar scent and warmth so close to me, I started feel a raw, icy fear in my chest about when it would all slip away.