Chapter Seven
Toni thought she understood busy, as far as the typical rush of the diner. Hungry townsfolk and visitors poured through the doors, keeping the tables full and the staff hopping. Everyone wanted to chat with her, and she was blown away by the number of patrons who had stories from when she was a child running loose in the diner.
Their memories never failed to bring a smile to her face. As she’d grown older and her relationship with her parents declined, it became difficult to recall any happiness from her younger days. Hearing the stories helped her to remember there were times of definite happiness in her childhood. It helped heal some of the wounds inflicted by her parents’ rejection.
The mornings were so hectic, by the time they closed at one each afternoon, she was exhausted and dreading the supply ordering and bookkeeping awaiting her.
Then Saturday rolled around, and Toni learned a new definition of the word busy. The servers were practically sprinting between tables to keep up with the demands for coffee top-offs, extra butter, and checks. A long line out the door all morning led to a constant stream of orders, and lingering customers kept the diner open hours past its typical closing time. By the time they’d chased the final diners out the doors, cleaned the restaurant, and the staff headed for home, they were almost three hours past typical closing time.
“Holy crap,” Toni said to Michelle as she flexed her feet in her sensible but ugly work shoes. The arches ached something fierce. “How the hell do you do this every week?” They were lounging in a booth, both too bushed to move.
Michelle chuckled and reached for a glass of water she’d been working on for a while. She looked weary and younger than her twenty-three years, dressed in skinny jeans and the diner’s signature T-shirt. “First off, I stay hydrated. Second, I have no choice. You’ll build up a tolerance for it.”
A pang of sympathy hit Toni’s heart. Of course, Michelle had no choice. She was a young single mother. Worst part of it was Toni got to go sit in her office for a few hours before going home to a quiet, peaceful house. Michelle spent three hours at home with a rambunctious toddler then moved on to her second job, cleaning offices in the evenings. No wonder the poor woman looked one stiff breeze from blowing over all the time.
“You working tonight?” she asked Michelle, after groaning at the pleasure of a good stretch to her calves.
“No!” A lightness came over Michelle that Toni hadn’t seen yet. She smiled, revealing a straight set of shiny white teeth and then sighed in pleasure. “And, to make the day even better, my parents commandeered Beth for the evening. I’m a free woman for the next fifteen hours.”
“Oooh! Any big plans?” Toni raised her arms over her head, lengthening the knotted muscles in her back. A hot bath and some solid couch time was just what the doctor ordered.
The laugh that came from Michelle was more of a scoff than a humorous sound. “I have no freakin’ idea. I don’t even want to tell you how long it’s been since I’ve had more than two straight hours to myself.”
After dropping her arms, Toni leaned against the back of the plush booth. “Do you want to hang out? I don’t really have any girlfriends, and I haven’t actually done anything fun since I’ve been here.” Unless she counted sitting on her porch with a forbidden man. “Neither of us are up for a crazy night out, I’m sure, so why don’t we just have some drinks at my house and watch a chick flick?”
“Yes! That sounds amazing. Most of my girlfriends have moved away over the last few years and then with Beth, I never get a chance to have any fun.” A panicked look cross her face. “Not that being with Beth isn’t fun, but—”
Toni held up a hand. “Please, no judgment. I think you’re absolutely amazing for raising a daughter on your own while juggling two jobs. There’s no way I’d begrudge you a night away.”
“Will your boyfriend mind? That guy I saw you with at the funeral and a few other times. Tall, thin, always in a suit.”
“Uh, he went back to Chicago.” Toni hadn’t introduced him to anyone at the diner, so she didn’t really think her employees had even noticed his presence.
“Oh, you must miss him.”
The momentary silence was thick, awkward. “I kinda broke up with him, so…”
Michelle’s hand flew to her mouth in a poor attempt to stifle a gasp. “And I just stuffed my whole foot right in my mouth, didn’t I? I’m so sorry. Are you doing okay?”
“I am. Very okay. Not upset at all, actually, which I suppose means I should have done it a long time ago.” Toni straightened and winced when her back protested.
“Well then, goodbye and good riddance. I’ve learned that it’s best to shed the baggage before it becomes too heavy.” Shadows crossed Shell’s face. “Trust me. Some baggage can be so heavy it’s impossible to carry.”
Toni knew about that kind of baggage. Maybe she and Shell would be kindred spirits. Have a lot in common.
With a shake of her head, Shell lost the gloom and smiled. “Girls night sounds perfect.” Bouncing on her feet as though the idea of a chick flick and some booze was akin to an all-expense paid vacation to Hawaii. “Okay, let me run home and change so I don’t smell like French toast and I’ll meet you at your house.”
“Perfect.” Toni couldn’t help the happy feeling warming her.
A new friend in Tennessee.
A business, a house, a hot male neighbor, and a new friend. If she wasn’t careful, she’d have a full, satisfying life in Tennessee without even meaning to.
The thought wasn’t as uncomfortable as it had been just a few days ago.
When Toni arrived home, she shed her diner T-shirt and jeans, leaving them in a pile on her bedroom floor. The shower beckoned her and, hopefully, it would infuse her with enough energy to stay awake until Michelle got there. After showering the day off, she dressed in yoga pants and a Chicago Bulls T-shirt. Not much of a sports fan herself, Uncle Mark had dragged her to a game last winter and in the spirit of the game, she’d purchased a shirt for a team she didn’t care about.
An hour later, a rap at the door announced Michelle’s arrival.
“Come on in. It’s open,” Toni called out from the kitchen.
“You have any tequila?” Michelle asked as she appeared in the entrance to the kitchen. “I brought some margarita mix. Figured this was as good a time as any for a few margaritas.”
“Oooh yes! They’re my fav. Good thinking, Michelle. And I do have tequila. Always.”
Michelle giggled and placed the mix on the counter. She’d also changed but wore capri leggings and an oversized tank. Her curly hair hung down her back in damp spirals. “One thing to get out of the way,” she said. “No more calling me Michelle. My friends call me Shell, and I think we’ve officially graduated to friends.”
Friends. It was nice. “We have. So, Shell it is. You mind rifling through my refrigerator? I’ve got some salsa in there. Can’t have margaritas without chips and salsa.”
“Sooo,” she said as she stuck her head in the fridge, her voice full of mischief. “You didn’t tell me you lived next door to Zach.”
Midway through twisting the tray of ice cubes, Toni jolted and fumbled the tray. Slippery squares of ice scattered across the counter and slid to the floor, shooting throughout the kitchen.
Instead of apologizing for startling her, her new friend burst out laughing. So hard and so loud she snorted and slapped a hand over her mouth.
Heat rushed to Toni’s face as she scrambled to rescue the ice before more plunged off the edge of the counter.
“I was going to ask what you thought of him next, but I think I’ve already got my answer,” Michelle said, when she finally stopped giggling.
“What? Oh, that’s just me being clumsy. Happens all the time.” Toni dumped the ice in the blender and stared everywhere but at Shell. The excuse sounded lame, even to her own ears.
More laughter ensued. “You’re a terrible liar. Come on, dish, girl.”
With a sigh, Toni turned and leaned against the counter with the blender at her back. “There isn’t anything to tell. I only just met him a few days ago. He introduced himself, we chatted. He’s nice. That’s it.” She turned and pushed blend on the machine. Loud whirring from the motor drowned out whatever Shell was going to say next. The momentary reprieve gave Toni a second to compose herself.
Mention of Zach’s name shouldn’t send her into such a bumbling tailspin. She barely knew the guy. No, barely would imply she knew something about him. And she knew absolutely nothing. Maybe she’d known a few things about the boy he was years ago, but nothing about the man he was now. Nothing beyond the fact that he claimed to be attracted to her. And claimed he’d be acting on it in a week. Less than a week.
Just four more days.
Not that she was counting. No way. No how.
A shiver of anticipation raced down her spine. Not good. He was a mistake Toni wouldn’t be making. Just physical attraction. Chemicals and pheromones. And she didn’t make any decisions based on those. Not anymore.
She chose her partners based on merit. Strength of character. Discipline. Mutual future goals. The downside was her last two relationships were devoid of the passion she craved, but it didn’t matter. Passion faded anyway, right? Compatibility wasn’t based on fireworks and lust. It was mental, not physical.
Punching the off button, Toni reached in the cabinet over her head for two margarita glasses. After pouring the frosty liquid into the glasses, she turned and was greeted by a smirking Shell.
“He’s pretty potent, isn’t he? All those muscles? And he’s so good looking, he’s almost pretty.” Shell fanned herself. “There isn’t a woman out there who could be immune to that.”
Suddenly, she recalled Shell’s uneasy reaction to news that the bikers would be allowed in the diner. Since that day, at least a handful of the leather-wearing men were in the diner every shift she worked. They asked for her section every single time. And called her Shell. Hadn’t Zach mentioned she brought them food on occasion?
She was more than just a waitress they liked. She was a friend. Maybe even more. Oh God, could she possibly have a thing for Zach? Did they have a history?
“Oh. No!” Shell said. She waved her hands in front of her in a stop motion. “No, no, no, no, no. It’s not like that, at all. I promise.”
“Not like what?” Toni frowned. She hadn’t even said anything.
“Your face. You looked crushed. I’m sorry if I implied I had a thing for Zach. I am one hundred percent immune to the charm that is Zach. Well,” she winked. “Maybe ninety-three percent. He is hot as hell. But immune enough to be not interested at all. Not interested.” She shuddered. Actually shuddered, as though the thought of being with the sexiest man Toni had ever laid eyes on was repulsive. “I see him, just about all of them, like brothers.”
Oh. Well, that wasn’t what she’d expected. “Here.” Toni handed Shell the two glasses. Carry these, and I’ll get the snacks. Couch is through there,” she said, pointing to the den. “So, you know a lot of the Hell’s Handlers well then?”
Instead of answering, Shell sipped her drink. Her eyes closed and she tilted her head back, letting out a little moan of pleasure. “Oh man, that’s good. I need more of these in my life.”
Toni chuckled. Befriending Shell was a breeze.
“I’ve known them my whole life. My dad was in the club until he was killed when I was a teen. It’s a family more than anything else, so my mom and I were taken care of by the club members even after he died.”
“You said just about all of them.” Toni lowered herself to the couch and propped her feet on a giant square ottoman before sipping her drink. Shell was right. More margaritas were necessary in her life as well.
“What?” Confusion had Shell’s eyebrows drawing down and her lips curling in.
“You said you saw just about all of them as brothers. That means there’s someone you don’t see as a brother.” It was Toni’s turn to smirk. “Come on, talk to Mama.”
She thought she’d get a smile, maybe a laugh out of Shell, but instead the other woman lost some of her light. “Copper,” she said with a heavy sigh. “Not like it’s a secret. Pretty much everyone in town knows I’ve been pining away for him since I was a kid.”
“Copper, seriously? The giant one with the beard and the eyes that look like they could fry you on the spot? He kinda scares the snot out of me.”
A sad smile tilted Shell’s lips. “He’s not one to cross, that’s for sure. But that’s just one side of him.” There was a wistful quality to her voice, as though she was recalling a memory she wished to return to.
“He know how you feel?”
“Oh yeah, he knows. Well, at least he knows how I felt before I moved away years ago. I was young and stupid and made it painfully obvious. I’m more discrete now.”
Hmm. Interesting. Copper, the biker who showed up at the diner more than any of the others. Always sitting in Shell’s section. Always watching her like a hawk but with a fierce frown.
“He says I’m too young. He’d never touch me.” She stared at her drink, a far off look in her eyes. “But it wouldn’t even matter if he dropped to his knees and professed his love to me tomorrow,” she said in a small voice. “Too much has happened. Things he doesn’t know about. Things from my past that make it impossible for me to ever be with him. Geez, listen to me. Three sips and I’m spilling my guts.”
“No, it’s okay. I get it. About the past. I did some things, and had some things done to me, that changed who I am. Especially when it comes to men. Things that occurred years ago but I’m still dealing with and paying for.” Toni shrugged.
“I started working at the diner because of the no biker rule.” Shell giggled. “Thought it would be a good way to keep myself away from Copper. At least there would be a few hours in the day where I wouldn’t have to see him. Despite his refusal to be with me, he’s always taken it upon himself to be my shadow. Protector, as he calls it.” She chuckled and rubbed her eyes, exhaustion bleeding into her features. Exhaustion Toni now knew wasn’t from physical fatigue alone, but from heavy emotional scars. “It’s all so fucked up,” she whispered almost to herself.
Desire to ease her new friend’s pain hit Toni hard. Along with guilt. “God, Shell. I’m so sorry. I had no idea lifting that ban would cause you trouble.”
Shell swallowed a healthy gulp of her drink, then took a deep breath. “Please, don’t feel bad. I’m at the clubhouse all the time. Hell, one of the ol’ ladies is my steady babysitter. I can’t avoid them. And I don’t really want to. They’re my family. Sometimes it’s just hard to pretend I don’t feel what I do when I’m around them. So I got a job where I wouldn’t have to be around them.” With a wave of her hand she brushed it off. “You want to talk about your past shit? Because I really don’t want to think about mine anymore.”
“Hell no.” Toni didn’t talk about the mistakes of her past with anyone. Not even with Mark, who was privy to more than anyone. “Movie time?”
“Absolutely.”
Toni leaned back on the couch and turned on the television. Three hours and one Sex and The City movie later, Shell begged off and headed home. Toni remained on the couch for a while. Thinking about all the decisions lingering out in space, waiting for her to act.
Keep the diner? Sell the diner?
Return to Chicago? Stay in Tennessee?
Live in the house? Unload the house?
Avoid the biker? Sleep with the biker?
And if her gaze drifted to the window where Zach’s dark house was on display every few seconds, no one had to know about it. Nor did anyone have to know she was still on the couch watching when the headlights and rumble of a bike pulled in at well past midnight.
But what she’d really be keeping to herself was the intense feeling of relief that flooded her when only one rider hopped off the bike.
It didn’t mean Zach hadn’t been with a woman.
But it did mean there wouldn’t be one sleeping in his bed and wouldn’t be one waking with him in the morning.
Those were dangerous thoughts.
It was all dangerous. Staying in the house. Breaking up with Chris. Spending so many hours in the diner. Because with each passing day, she felt the options being selected without any real thought or planning on her part.
Keep the diner.
Stay in Tennessee.
Live in the house.
Sleep with the biker.