Chapter 18
After nearly two bottles of wine, neither of them was feeling any pain. They slipped into their pajamas and curled up on the TV to watch old episodes of I Love Lucy and The Honeymooners. It was getting late when the doorbell rang. No one had asked to be buzzed up, so it must be one of the neighbors. Susan opened the door to find Paul standing there, looking at her. Her heart fell as she saw his glance drift over to Cody, piled up on the couch with a glass of wine in hand, laughing hysterically at the television.
“Well, I guess the date is going well. How cozy this is. I’m guessing that he just happened to have a spare pair of pajamas in his pocket. You just really didn’t waste any time in moving on, did you, Susan?
“What? No, it’s…wait, I don’t owe you any explanations. You lied to me. I don’t even know what to say about what you did. It was strange and creepy. I would have never fallen in love with you if I had known about Miranda and how you followed me around,” she spat at him.
“That is not how it was, Susan. I want to tell you everything, but you are always so angry. You left my place without even saying a word. Can’t you just stop and listen long enough for me to explain, or will that interrupt your play time with your Ken doll over there?” he yelled back at her.
“You need to leave, Paul. This is neither the time nor the place to have this discussion,” she said, aware that Cody had put down his wine and taken a step toward the door, standing there with his arms crossed to let Paul know he wouldn’t hesitate to kick his ass if needed. Paul was a big guy, but Cody was bigger and appeared much more intimidating than he actually was.
“Fine. I’ll leave, but we need to talk and soon,” he said, shooting Cody a dirty look.
Susan closed the door and leaned against it, trying to get her heart rate back down to normal. She looked at Cody, who was grinning from ear to ear.
“What?” she said.
“That man is in love with you. It took everything he had to leave here, knowing you were sitting around in your pajamas with another man,” he told her.
“Or he was just afraid that you were going to kick his ass down the stairs,” she said.
“You keep telling yourself that, but you’re wrong. Look, I know that what he did is pretty screwed up, but people don’t always go about things the right way. I’m not saying you should just forgive him without a second thought, but maybe it’s worth listening to his side of the story. You might learn something that makes all the difference,” he told her.
“I don’t know about that. The more I think about him just seeing me as a reminder of her…I mean, how can I ever compete with the memory of a dead woman?” she asked.
“Perhaps you aren’t competing, and you don’t even realize it. Put yourself in his shoes. His fiancée dies after a long, drawn-out illness. His curiosity leads him to seek out the person who has what is left of her, and he can’t help himself. He watches from afar, not meaning any harm. It’s maybe just his way of healing.”
Susan shrugged. “I think you give him way too much credit.”
“I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. One day he crosses the line and interacts with you. You strike up a conversation, and it leads to more conversation. Pretty soon, his pain for her begins to subside, and he finds a new interest in you. It might have started because of the transplant, but that doesn’t mean that is all there is to it,” he told her.
Susan looked at him. He was right, she knew. It was just so hard to let go of her anger at feeling betrayed, but how long could she walk around just feeling angry about things? At some point, she had to let it go. Either she worked this out with Paul, or she spent forever wondering what they might have been if she had given him a chance to explain.
“Well, now isn’t a good time, anyway. I have a very sexy man here in my apartment in his pajamas, and I can’t be bothered to reconcile with old flames today,” she said with a laugh.
“That’s right. You’re still mine for a couple more days, and I’m still yours. Let’s have some more wine and find a movie. These old sitcoms are beginning to get boring,” he told her.
“Sounds good to me,” she replied, grabbing the last bottle of wine and plopping down on the couch beside him. They watched a sappy remake of an old French movie which only reminded her of her trip to Paris with Paul, but Cody seemed to be enjoying it, and she didn’t want to be a pain. Instead, she sat there, drinking her wine and remembering the way they had made love in their fancy suite. It had seemed so magical then.
“Susan? Susan!” Cody laughed a little as she jumped and made eye contact. “I said I am going to head to bed. You were zoned out over there. Did you even see any of the movie?”
“I…I’m sorry. I guess I was lost in thought and missed most of it. Forgive me?” she asked. She realized that her words were a bit slurred and that she was going to have one helluva hangover tomorrow to deal with at the shop.
“Yes, I forgive you. I’ll see you at the shop around nine, and we’ll duck out for a quick trip down to the gazebo I found so you can check it out. Okay?” he said.
“Yes. See you in the morning,” she told him. He kissed her on the forehead and disappeared into her bedroom.
Susan settled down into the couch and tried to sleep. She had thought the alcohol would have done the trick, but it seemed to have left her in a state of half wakefulness in which she couldn’t stay asleep, and when she did drift off, she had horrifying dreams about the night she had lost her sight. They all ended with Paul standing over her at the hospital or at the crash site. She wasn’t sure what it meant, as she always startled awake and looked around wildly to regain her bearings.
By the time morning rolled around, she felt exhausted, but she dragged herself out of the bed and made her way to the coffee shop anyway. She had given Cody her spare key so he could come and go as he needed to and knew he would be by later when he got out of bed. It really was nice having him here, but she couldn’t keep up with him when it came to holding her liquor.