Chapter 2

“Hello?” Susan called out a second time.

“Yes, dear. I’m here. My name is Valerie, and I’m going to take good care of you. What do you need?” she asked in a southern twang.

“Water. So thirsty...” Susan croaked.

“I can’t give you any water until the sedative finishes wearing off, but I will get you some ice chips to rub on your lips and let dissolve on your tongue. I’ll let the doctor know you are awake while I’m at it,” she told her.

“Thank you,” Susan said quietly.

“You’re welcome, honey. I’ll be right back.” Susan could hear her padding outside the door, and a moment later, heavier steps returned, followed by the nurse again.

“Susan, it’s Dr. Simms, your new favorite doctor. We have done a fantastic job on your eyes, and I think you will be pleased when the bandages come off. So far, everything looks excellent. We have shields and bandages in place to protect your eyes and will remove those in a few days,” he told her.

Susan nodded as the nurse slowly fed her tiny amounts of ice chips. She felt hopeful again. Three days was going to feel like forever, but she would get through it.

“All right, I’m going to leave you in the care of the nurse. You should be ready to go to your room in about another hour. Let me caution you that you cannot remove your bandages or shields under any circumstances. We absolutely cannot risk any damage or infection. Understood?” he asked.

“Yes, I understand,” she replied.

She knew it would be difficult not to jump the gun, but she also knew that she would certainly not risk screwing up what might be her only chance to see again.

“Okay. Just relax here with Valerie for a while longer while the anesthesia wears off, and then she will get you to your room where your parents will be waiting. I’ll check in on you later,” he said.

“Thank you, Doctor,” she replied.

Her heart was beating rapidly just thinking about what was going to happen when the bandages came off. It seemed like another eternity that she lay there waiting, having her vitals checked and rechecked, and being given periodic ice chips by Valerie. She was grateful when another nurse came in to help her into a chair so that she could at least get back to her room.

Several days later, she felt just as nervous waiting for the doctor to come in and remove the bandages.

“Okay, Susan. Here we go. Let’s see how well we did, shall we?” he asked. She felt his hands on the side of her head and the sound of the tape as he began peeling away the gauze layers.

“See you in a minute, Doc,” she said, her voice a little shaky.

“I certainly hope so, Susan,” he responded as he pulled away the last of the gauze. There was no light, no shadowy figures, no blurry images. There was only darkness, still. Susan’s heart stopped, and she felt a knot form in the pit of her stomach. She was going to be ill.

“We’re looking really good so far. Let’s get these metal shields off and figure out what you can see, my dear. Nurse, can you flip the lights off? We don’t want it to be too bright in here when these come off,” the doctor said after a moment.

Susan’s heart started again, beating wildly as she realized she had forgotten about the shields that kept out any light while she healed. Moments later, she saw the first grayish rays of light as he removed those and her eyes began to focus.

“Oh, my God! I can see!” she squealed.

Her mother gasped loudly and uttered her thankfulness aloud. Though they were blurry, Susan could see her mother turn toward her father. He wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair. Susan couldn’t quite make out his features, but she knew he was smiling.

After a few small eye tests to assess her vision, he told her that her vision was good for this stage and would improve over the next few weeks. Once it seemed to even out and they could determine exactly how well she could see, she could get fitted for glasses. Susan wasn’t thrilled with that idea since she had never had to wear glasses before, but she supposed it was a small price to pay for having vision again.

“When can I go home?” Susan asked, eager to get back to her life, to start her life again.

“As soon as we finish up here and get your paperwork ready to release you. Does that sound good?” he asked.

“Sounds great! Thank you so much, Doc. You’ve really given me the world here. I don’t know how I can ever repay you,” she said.

“It was all my pleasure, Susan. Now, let’s get you some prescriptions for eye drops and instructions on home care and get you out of here. I’m going to turn you over to Nurse Tomlin over here,” he said with a smile that she could almost make out.

She thanked him again, as did her parents. As he left, she noted a tall, dark figure standing outside the window. He seemed to be looking in through the slants in the blinds as if he was interested in what was going on there. She wondered who he was, but the thought was overridden by her excitement that she was even able to see him standing there. Quickly refocusing on what the nurse had to tell her about caring for her new eyesight, she dismissed him from her mind, and the next time she looked over, he was gone.

With instructions, a handful of supplies, prescriptions, and the hideously awful plastic sunglasses they provided to protect her from the sudden glare of sunlight outside, Susan was excited to leave the hospital finally. As they wheeled her out, she saw the man again...at least she thought it was him. He was sitting quietly in a nearby waiting area adjacent to her room, and he looked up at her as she rolled past. She could see him much clearer now that her eyes had focused a bit and he was closer to her. In fact, she could see him well enough to make out the pain in his eyes. She wondered who he was waiting for.

“That man. He looks so sad,” she commented to the nurse as they moved down the hallway away from him.

“Mr. Brennan…yes, he just lost someone earlier this morning. I’m not sure why he is sitting there. Perhaps he just still feels her presence here. People deal with grief in funny ways sometimes,” the nurse told her.

“Poor man. I hope he finds some peace soon,” Susan replied. She knew how he felt. Everyone in her accident had been lost. All her closest friends and the other driver. She, alone, had survived the crash.

Susan found herself wondering if she was hideous now. She knew the accident had left scars, but could only feel them with her hands. She had no idea what she looked like, even now. The nurse had given her a mirror, but her vision wasn’t improved enough to see herself clearly at the time. Maybe, by the time she got home, she would be able to see her own face.

Her parents had arrived separately so that one could take her directly home, and the other could stop by to pick up whatever supplies they would need once they knew her final condition. Slipping into the seat of her mother’s car, she spotted a pair of her mother’s sunglasses lying in the center console. She reached for them and slipped them over the wrap-around plastic ones the hospital had provided her.

At home, her mother parked and then waited for Susan to get out of the car. Knowing that Susan was a stickler for doing things for herself, she then walked on down the sidewalk to the front door and unlocked it, waiting for Susan to catch up a little before going in.

“The door is open, Susan,” her mother cautioned her.

“I know, Mom. I can see it,” Susan responded with a little laugh.

“Oh, geez. I’m sorry, honey. It’s just a habit,” her mother said, embarrassed.

“I know, Mom. I honestly always knew when the door was left open for me because I could hear you opening it and not closing it, but I knew you liked to tell me, so I let you,” Susan confided.

“I see. So, now we will be revealing just how much you have tolerated from your overprotective parents for the past five years?” her mother laughed.

“No, the past twenty-three,” Susan teased.

“Yeah, this is going to be fun. Well, since you are so independent now, I guess I will go make us some lunch while you get reacquainted with your room. Your father should be here in just a bit with your stuff from the pharmacy,” her mother told her on her way to the kitchen.

Walking into her room, she caught sight of the large mirror that formed the back of an antique dresser that had belonged to her grandmother. She was afraid to turn toward it for a moment, taking a deep breath before bringing herself to confront her reflection in the mirror. Pulling a nearby chair over, she sat down to face herself for the first time in years. She steeled herself and pulled away the sunglasses to expose the entirety of her face. Even with the lights off in her room and only the sun shining in through the blinds, she winced at the sudden influx of light. After a few moments, she could focus on the stranger in her mirror.

There they were. The tiny scars that she had grown accustomed to touching over the years were visible, but not nearly as bad as she had thought. Time had faded them to thin little pink lines that a good concealer would remedy. She breathed a sigh of relief. Though she knew it was somewhat shallow, the prospect of overcoming blindness only to find that she was some sort of monstrosity had bothered her much more than it should. It was one of those things that you couldn’t really admit to anyone because you knew they would think you were ungrateful, but that you still felt inside.

“There’s my beautiful girl,” her father sang happily as he walked into her open doorway with bags from the pharmacy before laying them in front of her on the dresser. He looked over her shoulder at her reflection in the mirror and smiled. Susan was struck by how much he had aged since she saw him last and felt sad that she had most definitely been responsible for some of that.

“Thanks, Dad. It feels weird. Who knew that something as simple as sight could seem so strange?” she told him.

“It’s been a long, hard road, but you are going to be okay, kiddo,” he told her. “Now, let’s get some of these drops in your eyes. Can you manage or do you need my help?” he asked.

“I can manage. Thank you for everything,” she told him, feeling close to tears. She wasn’t sure why she felt so unexpectedly emotional, but she did. He patted her lightly on the shoulder and turned to leave.

Susan’s eyes focused on a picture frame that sat on her dresser. She walked over and picked it up. She had never seen these pictures before, and they almost made her weep. One was of her and her date, a friend named Dan, as they stood together in the entryway, getting ready to go to prom. Looking at it broke her heart.

At bedtime, she was still confined to the shields, so she returned to complete darkness. Each morning, she awoke in a slight panic until her foggy brain cleared enough to remember she had to remove them to see again. It felt a little like experiencing a miracle again every morning, though there was a part of her that still feared she would remove them to find herself still shrouded in darkness. Each morning, she held her breath as she pulled them out and saw the light again.