Confrontation
*Kayla*
December 31, 2015
Christmas was monotonous. After Christmas Eve dinner with the Perkins, nothing really happened. Christmas morning, we opened presents, and even though I was thankful for everything I was given, my heart didn’t seem to be in it. Or maybe it was my head…I often drifted into thoughts of Kyle and Mikey, trying to piece everything together. I tried to come up with so many different scenarios as to why Mikey was in the SUV at the cemetery.
Why was he involved in Kyle’s death, if he was involved?
Perhaps Mikey had nothing to do with it. What if he was just driving the SUV and the passenger—the blurred man—decided to shoot Kyle? Or maybe Mikey was threatened? Did he have to kill Kyle? Was something hung over his head, forcing him to do it?
Even the heart-wrenching thought of “maybe he wanted to kill Dallas and shot the wrong person” crossed my mind.
I quickly dismissed that thought, however. I didn’t want to think of anyone wanting Dallas dead. There has been too much death in my life, and I don’t want to think about anyone else leaving me. That is why, when Dallas ran toward the SUV, I was faced with the possibility of him getting shot just like Kyle, and it scared me. Even though Dallas told me to stay put and it was the safest option for me, I had to follow him. I had to make sure he was going to be okay.
I don’t want to live in a world where Dallas doesn’t exist.
After Christmas, Dallas and I have gotten together to visit some of Kyle’s favorite locations so that he would reappear. We were surprised he never showed up for Christmas. It was always his favorite holiday, and we were all together, so why wasn’t he there?
Kyle hasn’t shown his face since the night Dallas had his dream. We haven’t been able to get closure on what Dallas saw. Was it real? Or was it just a dream?
Today is Thursday, and I promised my mom I’d take Katie to see the Naper Lights. It has been a tradition to go see them every year, and I wasn’t going to deprive Katie of that. I did, however, rope Anne, Tyler, and Dallas into coming with us. Dallas agreed willingly; we have spent nearly every waking hour together since that night. Anne was a little difficult. She said she would go, but we had to speak first.
So I’m sitting on my bed with Anne standing in front of me, her hands on her hips. The look on her face has me worried. What does she want to talk about? I feel as if I’m about to be punished.
“So…” I say, nodding my head and pressing my lips together, trying to subtly tell her to get on with this conversation. As much as I enjoy having her shoot daggers at me, I really would like to get to the Naper Lights.
“Does Dallas…has Dallas…” Anne trails off, biting her bottom lip. “Has Dallas ever hit you?” My eyes grow wide at her question, and I stare at my best friend with complete and utter shock. Why would she ever ask something like that?
“What?”
“Hear me out. A few times, I’ve seen bruises on your arm. It’s usually just one, but when I saw you at the Dairy Queen, you guys were arguing, and you were holding your fists so tight that you started to bleed. Dallas must have said something, done something that made you mad enough to do that. And then there’s the fact that you’re always crying. I heard about him shoving you against the car, Kayla. I know how curt and rude he was to you after Kyle’s death. It’s a safe assumption to say he has a dark side. I just need to know if he has ever hurt you.” Tears roll down my cheeks as I look at Anne.
Oh, sweet Anne. She is so innocent and selfless. But she’s got it all wrong. The bruises…they must have been from the times Kyle had punched me in the arm. Apparently ghostly punches can leave bruises. And the Dairy Queen scene…did it really look like we were arguing? I was holding my fists too tightly because Kyle just told us he knew who killed him. It angered me. And jeez, the crying. I feel like an emotional pregnant lady. I am crying nearly every day and again, the main reason is Kyle.
“No. No, Anne. Dallas has never raised a hand to me. He loves me, Anne, and I love him.” I shrug my shoulders, smiling softly at her. She arches her eyebrows for a moment before she nods her head.
“Okay. Here’s another one.” Anne grabs my desk chair and rolls it over so she can sit directly in front of me. Now I feel as if I am at a therapist meeting. “Why do you keep talking to thin air?”
My jaw grows slack, my mouth falling open as I stare at Anne with disbelief and a little bit of fear. Fear because I don’t know how to answer her question.
I wish Dallas was here. It’s his secret to tell as well…should I quickly call him and ask if it’s okay to tell Anne the truth? Because I desperately want to. I want an outsider to know what has happened to Dallas and myself.
No, I don’t need to ask Dallas. He’ll be okay with it. I know he will be, because I’d be okay with him telling Tyler, if he so wished it.
I bite my bottom lip. “You wouldn’t believe me,” I whisper.
“Try me,” Anne defies.
Sighing, I run a hand down my face and then blow a long raspberry, as if warming up for a long speech. “I’m not talking to thin air. I’m talking to Kyle. I know that doesn’t make any sense, and I’m sure you think I’m crazy. Believe me, Dallas and I both thought the same thing the first time we saw him. Kyle is dead, and yet we have been having conversations with him. He’s the one leaving me bruises…they’re just playful punches. And he’s the one who Dallas and I were having a heated conversation with at Dairy Queen. He said something frustrating, and it caused me to squeeze my fists too tightly. Kyle is the reason I cry all the time. Dallas and I have been trying to find his murderer because Kyle can’t find peace until we do so. And you probably think I am raving mad, don’t you?” I let out a gusty sigh and feel my shoulders hunch in relief. I never knew I had such weight on them, but telling this secret to Anne definitely lifted it.
I watch Anne as her features turn blank. She doesn’t say anything, only turns her head to the side, and I see her eyes flickering around my room. The cogs spinning in her head are practically visible. What is she thinking?
Probably that I am a lunatic and that I need psychiatric attention.
“I knew it…” Her words are a hushed whisper, and I almost miss them. I lean forward, arching a brow.
“What?”
Anne turns her head to look at me, as if forgetting that I was there. I did just provide a lengthy explanation; how could she forget me being here?
“Kayla, this is going to sound crazy…er…perhaps not, considering your situation. But I…I saw your dad.” For a long moment, everything goes still around us. The gentle hum of the ceiling fan provides a small noise to fill the silence as I stare wide eyed at my best friend.
What did she just say?
“What?” I ask again.
“It was two years ago. Sophomore year…basketball season. I went to a basketball game. I was dating Travis, the small forward on the team. And God, I could have sworn I saw your father standing at the edge of the court. But there was no way…he was dead—” Anne cuts off, shaking her head. It’s as if a revelation has fallen over her, a new light shown.
“What do you mean? You saw my dad at a basketball game? W-why? Why would you see him? Why at a game? Why?” My voice trembles as I look up at her, tears welling in my eyes. She saw my dad? Does that mean there was an opportunity to say goodbye to him? And I missed it?
My bottom lip shakes as I try to keep tears from falling. I don’t want to cry; I have to get my answers.
“Well, I wasn’t the only one to see him.”
My head snaps up at her words, and I nod my head, telling her to continue.
“Mikey saw him. They sort of locked eyes, and then your father left. Turned on his heels and walked out.”
Mikey. Why would Mikey see my father? I can vaguely understand why Anne would; she practically grew up at my house. She was close with my father…he had a talent of being the “fun dad.” Everyone always preferred him over their own dads.
What does Mikey have to do with my dad? What sort of connection was there? I know my father enjoyed watching the basketball games…Did they perhaps speak after games? Did they have some sort of loose friendship?
“I always told myself that it was impossible. That it was someone who just looked like your father. That was the only rational explanation. However, after you said you’ve been seeing Kyle, I know the truth. I believe you, Kayla.” Anne reaches over and grabs my hand, giving it a squeeze. I look up at her with watery eyes, nodding my head slowly.
I’m thankful that she believes me. And I understand why she never told me about my father, because she had convinced herself it wasn’t him.
Why does Mikey seem to keep showing up in every conversation?
Now there are just more unanswered questions.
Dallas holds me close to his side, his arm wrapped around my shoulders. I have an arm around his waist, my fingers hooked around a belt loop. We walk through Naper Lights with Katie, Anne, and Tyler.
It’s truly beautiful. Every year, they seem to impress me more and more.
They decorate all of Naper Settlement in Christmas lights. There are lit archways and cute snowmen, Santas, reindeers, candy canes…trees are beautifully dressed with an assortment of colorful lights. Everyone is wearing smiles as they take in the display around them.
“I love you,” Dallas whispers in my ear. I tilt my head to look up at him. He’s wearing a black Under Armor hat and a thick winter coat. His hands are lacking gloves, which caused him to get a scolding from me, especially since the hand resting on my shoulder is exposed to the cold air.
I reach up and engulf his hand with my mitten-clad one, trying to warm it up. “Are you sure you’re okay that I told Anne?” I ask quietly.
Dallas nods his head. “I’m glad you can confide in her, Kayla. It must be hard to hold this secret, and I’m happy that you can share it with someone.” I give Dallas a hug, resting my head on his chest. He’s always so selfless with me.
“Merry late Christmas.” I twirl out of Dallas’s hold to see Kyle standing behind us. He wraps his arms around his body to keep warm against the December air. I feel a smile twitch on my lips. He’s finally here.
I look over my shoulder to see Anne, Katie, and Tyler have stopped walking and are looking at me. “Anne…” I whisper. Understanding quickly registers across her features.
“Let’s go get hot chocolate.” Anne quickly ushers Katie and Tyler away. Katie tries to argue and demands to know what’s really going on. I swear I heard Anne say something along the lines of, “Dallas and Kayla need some alone time.”
Dallas stands beside me, his hands shoved into the pockets of his coat as he stares at Kyle. Kyle tries to smile; however, it doesn’t meet his eyes. He looks miserable.
“We have to know,” Dallas says.
“I’ve always enjoyed Naper Lights. I’m glad I got a chance to see them one last time,” Kyle whispers. I hate when he speaks like that. As if he’s reminding us that he is indeed dead and that someday, this will all end. And we will never see him again…
“Kyle…”
“Okay,” Kyle mutters, gazing down at the snow.
I prefer the chipper, happy Kyle. The one that would run through my living room with his backpack hiked up on one shoulder with a goofy smile on his face. The Kyle that was overjoyed when I admitted to enjoying the Butterfinger Blizzard. Not the Kyle that is so pained that he can’t even look us in the eyes.
Does getting closer to the truth hurt him? Because he knows that when we put the killer away, we will have to say goodbye to each other once and for all? Does he secretly wish that we will never find him?
I secretly wish that.
Does that make me a horrible person?
Kyle’s peace would be the expense of such an outcome.
“We have to know, Kyle,” Dallas whispers.
Kyle lifts his eyes to look at us; they are so blue and lost, it hurts to look in them. I notice him gulp as he takes a step back. “I have to go.”
No. No, he can’t do this again. He can’t just leave without us knowing!
“Wait! You have to tell us! We have to know! Did he do it? Was it him?” Dallas’s voice is breaking as he bites his bottom lip to keep it from quivering. “Was it Mikey?”
My stomach twists at Dallas’s question. We have both been convincing ourselves of the same accusation; however, hearing him ask out loud seems to make it all the more real.
We watch as Kyle slowly fades away before us, but the one single, ghostly word he leaves behind sends chills running down my spine. “Yes.”
Dallas breaks into a sob, and I hurry over to wrap my arms around him. He holds tightly to me, crying into the crook of my neck. I can’t understand his pain. How can I?
Mikey has been Dallas’s best friend since elementary school. They have been playing basketball together since eighth grade. Mikey was another brother to both Dallas and Kyle. How could he do it? How could he kill someone that he watched grow up?
I rub my hand in circles on Dallas’s back, trying to soothe him, but no amount of words or soothing massages will ease this pain. It’s a betrayal that Dallas wasn’t ready to face. It’s almost as if we’re just finding out about Kyle’s murder all over again.
“I’m going to kill him,” Dallas says into my neck. I tense at his words, silently praying that he isn’t going to make them come true.
“Don’t say that.” Dallas grabs my hips and then forcefully detaches me from him. I look up at Dallas in shock as I see a newfound anger settling on his face.
“It’d be best if you stay here, Kayla.”
Dallas takes a step back, his eyes daring me to follow him before he turns and bolts toward his Jeep Wrangler, leaving me stranded in the middle of Naper Settlement. People walk past me, a few looking over their shoulders to see the scene unfolding.
I follow Dallas with my eyes until I lose him in the crowd. Gritting my teeth, I turn to look for Anne, Tyler, and Katie. They’re standing by the hot chocolate stand, and I run over. “Anne. I need your keys. Now.” I snap my fingers and wave my hands as she digs through her purse to toss me the keys to her new Chevy Impala. I clutch them tightly and give Katie a hug. “Stay with Anne and Tyler. I’ll be back in an hour to pick you guys up.” I turn and sprint to the parking lot.
I search for the silver sedan, clicking the unlock button as I do so until I see flashing lights, alerting me of its location. Jumping in, I navigate my way through the parking lot until I hit the road. I drive down Aurora Avenue, heading straight for Mikey’s house. I silently congratulate myself for looking up his address a few days ago. I was on the verge of driving over to his house myself a while back to confront him.
Dallas’s Jeep is already parked on the road, and he’s long gone inside the house. I throw the car in park and leap out, forgetting to turn the car off. At the moment, I don’t care. I throw the door open and bolt up the stairs in search of Mikey’s room.
There, Dallas has Mikey in a choke hold, holding him up against a wall. “You killed him!” Dallas screams.
Panting and out of breath, I force myself to run over and grab Dallas by the shoulders, yanking him off. “Stop,” I rasp.
“He killed Kyle!” Dallas yells, pointing an accusatory finger at Mikey. His dark hair is ruffled, and his eyes are bewildered. Then he shakes his head.
“I didn’t mean to kill him,” Mikey whispers, clenching his hands into fists at his side.
“What do you mean? There was no mistaking that it was Kyle! How could you have not known?” Dallas rips himself from my grasp and lunges for Mikey.
Mikey skillfully dodges Dallas’s punch and side steps him, moving so he’s standing between me and Dallas in a sort of triangle. “I meant to kill her!” Mikey confesses, pointing at me. My heart skips a beat as I look up at Mikey with complete trepidation. What did he mean? Why would he want to kill me? He didn’t know me!
“What?” I ask, my question breathless and almost silent. Mikey’s eyes harden as he looks me up and down.
“You were supposed to be with Kyle that night. Not Dallas. Kyle told me that you promised to take him on the Saturdays that Dallas worked. He wasn’t supposed to request the twelfth off. I hired a hitman to be at the courts that night. To kill the girl.”
“But I wasn’t there. Why would they kill Kyle?” I ask, ignoring for a moment that Mikey wants me dead. What matters now is figuring out why Kyle is dead.
“I don’t know. I don’t,” he says to Dallas. “I asked him, that day at Lake Michigan. I asked him why he shot Kyle. He said he was paid to kill someone. Doesn’t matter if the target wasn’t in place, he had already pulled over and had the gun out. He had to shoot.”
Dallas growls, and this time I don’t try to stop him as he runs forward, grabbing Mikey’s neck and shoving him against the wall. “Why? Why, Mikey? Why would you try to kill her? She’s an innocent girl!” Dallas screams, throwing punches to his ribs.
Mikey moans, using Dallas’s hold as support as he leans his head back against the wall. His eyes droop closed, but he manages to keep them open to peek at me.
“She and her mom ruined my life. And she doesn’t even know it.”
My mom? What did my mom and I ever do to make his life miserable? I barely knew him until I befriended Dallas.
“My dad wasn’t perfect. I know that. But I still loved him. I still loved him even though he left me and my mother for some whore and a daughter she claimed to be his!”
“What?” I ask, my eyes wide.
“You heard me. Your mom showed up one day. I was five, and you must have been four, almost five…I remember that day clearly. She claimed you were his daughter, and just like that, he ditched us for you. Divorced my mom and married yours. And then he died. He died, rushing home from a business trip to be here for your birthday. Your birthday! You killed him. I grew up knowing my father chose you over me, and I couldn’t stand it anymore. You weren’t about to take Kyle away from me as well!”
Tears fall shamefully down my face as I look at Mikey, confessing his secret demons, his darkest past. I can’t help but feel sorry for him.
I don’t want to believe anything he is saying. But the conversation Dallas and I had about him months ago entered my mind.
“Where is Mikey’s dad? I only ever see his mom at the games,” I ask when Dallas wraps an arm around my shoulders, bringing me close and pressing a kiss to the side of my head.
“His dad left when he was about six years old. He died two years ago in a car accident.” I couldn’t help but frown at Dallas’s words. My father had died two years ago in a similar situation. It seems Mikey and I suffer from the same loss.
Is that why my father always went to the basketball games? For Mikey?
Oh my God!
“So, naturally, you have her killed?” Dallas asks, his voice painfully calm and sweet.
“You were thinking the same thing, Dallas. Admit it. You wanted her gone. You couldn’t have some hussy taking Kyle from you.”
Dallas shoves Mikey back into the wall and then throws a punch to his cheek. “Do not speak to her in such a manner ever again! In fact, after tonight, you’ll never speak to her again.” Dallas’s words are final, leaving no room for argument. “You killed my brother over sick vengeance. Tell me. Was it worth it?”
I lift my eyes, meeting Mikey’s with a cold glare. Even though I hated him with everything in me, I can’t help but feel ashamed.
Dallas was right from day one.
It’s all my fault.