Chapter 2

Jake, 2004
Senior year in high school… and beyond

When I arrive at Annie’s house to pick her up for Prom, her father comes out of the house, alone, and walks up to the driver’s door of my truck. The expression on his face doesn’t bode well.

I roll down my window, forcing myself to smile. “Hi, Mr. Elliot.” 

He looks at my rented tux and scowls. “Annie’s almost ready. She’ll be out in a minute.”

Annie’s parents hate me. I know they do. They think I’m nowhere near good enough for their daughter, and they’re probably right. I can only imagine the grief they give Annie about me in private.

Mr. Elliot eyes me directly. “Has Annie told you she’s been accepted to Harvard? She received a full scholarship, tuition, room and board, everything. She hasn’t told you, has she?”

I stare at him, feeling like I’ve just been kicked in the gut. The air around me becomes thick and heavy, and I can’t breathe. Harvard?

He frowns. “I didn’t think so.” He shakes his head with what looks like disappointment. “She’s known for a month.”

My mind is reeling. I know how huge this is. I know how hard it is to get into Harvard in the first place, let alone to be awarded a scholarship. Why the hell didn’t she tell me?

“It’s always been her dream to go to Harvard, just as I did.” Frank Elliot looks me hard in the eye. “Are you going to be responsible for holding her back from reaching her potential? My daughter is gifted, Jake. She’s brilliant. And unfortunately, she has a crush on a boy with no future. What are your plans after high school, Jake? What are your aspirations? How are you going to support my daughter in the lifestyle she’s accustomed to?”

He waits, as if expecting me to reply, but the truth is he knows I’ve got nothing. I have no idea what I’m going to do with myself after high school. Maybe get a job. Maybe become a firefighter like my dad. Or maybe I’ll follow in my two older brothers’ footsteps and join the military.

Hell, I have absolutely no idea.

“You have no plan,” he says when I don’t answer. He gives me a cruel smile. “Instead, you intend to drag my daughter down to your level. If you truly care about her, you’ll think twice about that. Annie has a stellar future ahead of her, a prestigious education at one of the most preeminent universities in the country and an outstanding career in my firm. What can you possibly offer her to match that?”

Caught completely off guard, I just stare at him like an idiot as my mind races for a suitable answer. But the truth is, I’ve got nothing to offer her. I hate school, and I have no desire to go to college. I want to get out in the world and actually do something. I just don’t know what yet.

The front door opens, and Annie hurries out. She’s dressed in a knee-length, pale blue sparkly dress. Her dark brown hair is up in a fancy hair-do with a few long curls hanging down to her shoulders. She’s so pretty it makes my heart hurt.

Mr. Elliot wipes the smirk off his face when his daughter approaches. He meets her at the passenger’s side of the truck and kisses her cheek. “You look lovely, sweetheart,” he says. “Have a good time tonight.”

Then he looks at me through the open passenger window, his gaze icy. “Her curfew is eleven o’clock, and not a minute later. Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir.” I hop out of the truck and walk around to open Annie’s door and help her up into the seat. This old piece-of-shit truck looks pathetic next to her beauty. I feel like I’m transporting Cinderella to the ball in a rust bucket.

Annie’s dad walks away without another word, climbing the stone steps to the front door of their home.

“Is something wrong?” she asks me as she buckles her seat belt.

I shake my head, pasting a smile on my face. Why didn’t she tell me about Harvard? Did she think I wouldn’t want her to go? Of course I want her to go! This is a chance of a lifetime, and she’s worked so hard for it. She deserves this. I would never want to hold her back.

“Jake?”

Tonight’s a big night for us, and I don’t want to ruin it. I force myself to smile as I reach for her hand, bringing it to my lips to kiss. I breathe in the sweet, delicate scent of her skin—a scent I’ve become rather addicted to. “You look beautiful, Elliot. You’ll be the prettiest girl at the dance tonight.”

She frowns. “Are you sure—”

I close her door, maybe a little bit too forcefully. “Hey, we’d better get going. We don’t want to be late, right?”

I try really hard to act normal, but I must not be doing a good job of it, because Annie’s quiet all evening. She’s undoubtedly picking up on my mood—I feel like I’m drowning. I’m swamped with a sense of dread that I just can’t shake. She has to go to Harvard. That’s not in doubt. But when she goes, what will happen to us? I feel sick to my gut, but I do my best to hide it from her.

We dance a few of the slow dances—neither of us likes dancing much—and drink some of the punch. We hang out with my friend Cameron and his date.

I try to act like everything’s okay, when it isn’t. Her father’s words keep repeating in my head, over and over. You’re going to drag my daughter down to your level, aren’t you? If you truly care about her, you’ll think twice about doing that.

Eventually she stops asking me what’s wrong.

I’m awarded the Prom King crown—no surprise there. And no big deal. One of the cheerleaders, a gorgeous blonde named Makayla, is crowned Prom Queen. I actually dated her once. Hell, I probably dated all the cheerleaders at least once before I met Annie.

As Prom King and Queen, we stand on the stage and accept all the cheers and camera flashes. Annie is standing front and center in the crowd, clapping and waving at me with a genuine smile on her face. She doesn’t resent my popularity, and that makes her a far better person than me. If guys were trying to beat down her door, I’d lose my shit.

She is a far better person than I am, and a hell of a lot smarter. It never bothered either one of us before, but now the consequences are getting serious. Her future is at stake. And I don’t ever want to be accused of holding her back.

She has to go to Harvard. I know this, and yet the idea scares the ever-living hell outta me. If she goes—when she goes—I’ll lose her. I just know it. She won’t mean for it to happen, but it will. She’ll get caught up in her new life, and she’ll make new friends—friends who are as smart as she is. She’ll meet guys who have big futures ahead of them. And I’ll fade into the background as I try to figure out what the hell I’m going to do with my life.

As I look down at her standing at the front of the crowd, her smile falters until it’s gone altogether. It’s the beginning of the end for us, and she knows it. She’s known for a month now and hasn’t said a word. That’s just like her—not wanting to hurt my feelings.

When all the annoying pomp and circumstance is over, and Makayla and I have our stupid King and Queen dance, I go looking for my girl. It takes me a few minutes to find her seated alone at a little round table in the back corner of the ballroom.

I sit in the chair next to hers and look at her, trying not to appear as depressed as I feel. “It’s okay,” I tell her, reaching for her hand. “I know about Harvard. Your dad told me tonight when I came to pick you up.” I take a deep breath and paste another fake-ass smile on my face. “Congratulations, Elliot. That’s awesome. I’m so proud of you.”

Her brown eyes fill with tears as she shakes her head. “I don’t want to go anymore.”

“You have to go, Elliot. This is a huge opportunity. You can’t pass this up.”

Her hand starts shaking. “I don’t want to leave you, Jake.”

I plaster on another fake smile. “Don’t worry. We’ll make it work. People have long-distance relationships all the time. It’s not the end of the world. It’s only four years. It’ll be fine.”

Tears spill out of her eyes, ruining her mascara. She doesn’t believe me. “I don’t want to go.”

I can hear her father’s words in my head. Are you going to pull her down to your level? Hell, no. I can’t let that happen. I won’t.

I’m getting good with the fake smiles now. “Don’t worry, babe. You’ll go, and it’ll be fine. You’ll see.”

That was the first, and the last, time that I ever lied to her.

* * *

She went to Harvard, and I drifted aimlessly from part-time job to part-time job, totally lost without her. Every time she called or e-mailed me, I put on a fake smile and told her how great everything was back home. Our calls and e-mails became fewer and farther between as she got busy with her classes. She never came home for breaks—her parents always went to Massachusetts to see her.

I was slow to reply to her e-mails and texts. It was my fault. I know I pushed her away too many times. But I kept hearing her father’s words in my head, and I didn’t want to be the guy who ruined her life.

One day I ran into Annie’s father downtown. He told me Annie was doing well in school. He said she’d decided she was too young to settle down, and that she thought she should start dating other guys. I drove up to my dad’s cabin and got trashed with a bottle of whiskey.

A year later, after getting arrested the second time for drunk driving, I took the only option I had that would keep me out of jail. I followed in my older brothers’ footsteps and joined the military. That was probably the best decision I ever made.

I spent a decade overseas fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. Finally, here was something I was really good at. Fighting. Guns. Killing bad people. I worked my way into a special ops unit, where I thrived.

When I eventually left the military, I tried professional heavyweight boxing for a while. I had the body for it, the musculature, and the grit. I did well, won most of my matches. But something was missing. I missed home. I missed my family. So I returned to Chicago and joined my brother’s fledgling private security company.

Annie was home, too, had been for a long time, and was married to some guy who worked in her father’s accounting firm. Ted Patterson. The prick. Just the thought of him makes my blood boil.

I can’t believe I lost her.

How the fuck did I let this happen?