Chapter 24—Hashmarks

Drew stepped onto the ice for warm-ups before Game 3. The atmosphere in Sockeyes Arena was restless and rowdy.

He hated being weak, but he hadn’t been able to resist one more night with Marina. After all, his game improved considerably when they were together. Only he was kidding himself. He hadn’t slept with her for the good of the team. He’d done it for himself because she was his drug, and he couldn’t get enough of her.

And one more night would never be enough, but at least he had hope. That hope lifted his spirits.

The Sockeyes’ first games in the Stanley Cup Finals had started and ended in utter chaos. Going into the game down two games to zero against a formidable Penguins team was no way to start the series, and Drew carried those losses on his shoulders.

Tonight he’d do everything in his power to win the game. His first two playoff games back on the first line had been dismal. Marina had pointed out he was trying too hard and to relax and enjoy it out there. He’d do his best. He skated in large circles, feeling loose and relaxed and knowing he had her to thank for his lack of tension.

Coop and Smooth flanked him, exchanging glances between each other, as if they noticed the difference, too. They said nothing but nodded and smiled.

The puck dropped minutes later, and Drew didn’t have time to think about anything but hockey. He was in the zone and seeing things before they happened. He skated like a fiend, finding spots in front of the net and snatching the puck fed by Smooth or Coop. In the first period two of his shots went in, leaving a shell-shocked Penguins team scratching their heads and wondering what this guy had done with the real Drew Delacorte because they’d like to have him back.

Not happening, suckers.

His confidence built. By the end of the third period, Drew scored one more goal for a hat trick, and Coop and Smooth each had one. They beat the Penguins five to two.

The arena was rocking, and Drew was skating on air. He couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. As he stepped into the tunnel, his father waited for him. Drew hesitated and braced himself, but Stafford was grinning.

“Good game, son,” he said and slapped Drew on his sweaty back.

“Thanks, Dad.” Drew was swallowed up by reporters and well-wishers before he could say another word, but he caught a glimpse of his father over the heads of some of the fans, and Stafford was hugging his wife.

Watching them made him elated, but at the same time his heart sank. He missed Marina. He’d been a coward to sneak out while she’d been sleeping last night, avoiding the big question. He couldn’t answer her right now. He didn’t know what he wanted.

His parents waited for him in the family area after the game. For once, Drew wasn’t dreading seeing them. They were still smiling, and they were holding hands. He spoke with them for a few minutes before he was called away for interviews. When he returned they were gone. He’d stepped into the Twilight Zone where his dad was concerned. Eventually he’d get to the bottom of the changes, but right now he wasn’t looking that gift horse in the mouth.

He didn’t get a chance to look at his phone until he was leaving the arena an hour later. There was a text from Marina.

Great game.

He tapped in his response. Thanks. I had fun out there.

I could tell.

I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye.

It was probably better that way.

Her response made his heart sink. Was she blowing him off again? Rejecting him one more time? But she said she loved him, and he believed her after the night they’d had. He tapped out another message. Is that what you really believe?

No.

Meet me for a late dinner.

I’ll get takeout and come to your house.

Even better.

He was on cloud nine all the way home. She stood on his porch with two large sacks of Chinese takeout, and he realized how famished he was. He’d burned off a lot of energy tonight and not eaten anything after the game, even though the team always had a huge spread laid out for the players and their families.

He took the bags from her and opened his door. Once inside, he slammed it shut with his foot, put the bags on the entry table, and pulled her into his arms. They kissed as if they’d been apart for several years instead of several hours. When he finally drew back, he buried his face in her neck and closed his eyes, just wanting to be with her and feel her against him. She sighed contentedly and rubbed the back of his sore neck. Now that he thought of it, his entire body ached from the rough game. He’d been on fire, so he’d been a target and slammed against the boards more times than he could count.

“You’re hurting, aren’t you?” she asked in that uncanny way of hers, reading his mind once again.

“Yeah, a little. Let’s eat. I’m also starved.”

They sat at the kitchen counter. Marina picked at her plate of food while Drew wolfed down two heaping plates of fried rice, sweet and sour pork, Mongolian beef, and cashew chicken. All his favorites. How had she known? He couldn’t recall having Chinese with her in the past.

Finally, Drew put down his fork with a happy sigh and turned to her. She’d been watching him, as if waiting for something.

“I’m sorry I left like that. I didn’t know what to say so I took the coward’s way out.”

Marina lifted her chin slightly as if expecting the worst. “You said only one more night. We had our night. Why am I here?”

“I wanted Chinese takeout?” He grinned.

She smacked his arm and immediately sobered. “What are we doing here, Drew?”

“I don’t fucking know.”

“Even though the Sockeyes are no longer an obstacle between us, I’m not sure of my future, and I’m not getting many offers. Except for the reality show.” She winked at him.

“Which you’re not doing?”

“I’m not doing it. I’ve had my share of drama to last a lifetime, but I doubt I’ll get a decent job in this town. My name isn’t good here.”

“With our win tonight, everyone has forgotten about our scandal of the day. They’ve moved on.”

Marina sighed. “I wish that were true. I don’t have answers any more than I did before.”

“I don’t, either. I have to get through the playoffs before I can think about the future and where we fit together in it.”

“If we do.”

He nodded grimly, hating to admit she might be right. They may as well be star-crossed lovers. “I do love you, but I don’t know if the path we’re on is the right one.”

“I don’t, either. My crystal ball broke long before I met you.”

He chuckled. “I never had one.”

“I have to level with you. I wasn’t going to tell you this, but I had an offer to be the skating coach on another team.”

His heart stopped, and he was sick inside, proof he didn’t want to let her go or end this. “What team?”

“Montreal. I speak French, after all. They don’t seem disturbed by my past transgressions.”

“Montreal.” The futility of a relationship with her slammed him in the gut. So far away. Almost seven hours by plane. He doubted there were many—if any—direct flights from Seattle. “Did you accept the job?”

She avoided his gaze for a long moment. “Not officially, but I’m going to unless I get a better offer, which I don’t see happening. That’s why we can’t start anything. It would never work out.”

“When would you start?”

“In two weeks, after the playoffs.”

Shit, two weeks? That was all he had? “We could try long distance.”

“We could. But do either of us really want to be grabbing a few hours here and there after spending more time in planes than we would together?”

He didn’t have an answer to that, and his silence was enough of an answer.

“Drew, I think it best that I go home. Sex is muddying the waters between us. We need to be clear-headed and make the best decisions for both of us.”

“Will you come to my next game?”

“Yeah, I’d love to.”

“Good, I’ll send you a pair of tickets.”

“Sounds wonderful. I’m leaving now. Call me if you need to talk. I’m here for you.” She bent and kissed his cheek then stole out the door like a thief in the night, taking his heart with her. He watched her go, comforted in knowing this wasn’t goodbye.

Not yet, anyway.

 

* * * *

 

The next day Drew joined his mother for lunch. His father was busy with appointments, so it was just the two of them. He met her at a small café near the practice facility. They were used to seeing Sockeyes players in there, so other than a few high fives and an ovation by the customers when he walked in, they mostly left him alone.

His mother was late as usual. She believed in making an entrance rather than being on time. He’d come to accept her quirks over the years.

They made small talk until their lunch was delivered, but Drew had the definite impression his mother had an agenda. He waited her out, knowing she’d eventually get to it.

He’d eaten the last bite of his sandwich before his mother put down her spoon and cleared her throat. Here it came, whatever it was.

“You played an inspired game last night. What’s changed?” His mother’s seemingly innocent question had underlying connotations, and he had a good clue what those might be.

“Are you asking me who my inspiration might be?”

“If that’s how you want to answer the question.” She was being coy, but he knew her damn well.

“I was with Marina the night before.”

“I see.” His mother closed her eyes for a moment, as if the thought pained her.

“I know what you’re thinking. She’s not doing the reality show. Never was.”

“That’s good for you and our family and the team.”

“She’s taking a job in Montreal.” His voice cracked as he said the fatal words, causing his mother to narrow her eyes and study him closely.

“And that bothers you, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.” He’d never had a true heart-to-heart with his mother, so he treaded lightly and prepared himself for a lecture once she extracted the necessary information from him. “I don’t want to lose her, but I can’t hold her back. She loves me, Mom.”

“And you love her?”

“You know I do.” He took a risk and continued, hoping for once he could get some decent advice from his mother without being peppered with her personal biases against Marina. “I don’t know what to do.”

“What does your heart tell you to do?”

“Stop her from going, but then I’d be doing the same thing she didn’t want to do to me. I’d be stopping her from following her dreams.”

“It seems you have a dilemma.”

“More than one. I’m not sure I want to play hockey after this season. I have another job opportunity that intrigues me, but it’s in Seattle, too.”

“But you’re playing so well. You just played the best hockey of your life, and you seemed to enjoy it.” His mother wasn’t surprised by his admission, or even upset. More matter of fact.

“I know. That’s what makes this doubly hard. I don’t want to do the wrong thing.”

“I wish I could tell you what to do, but your father and I have done too much of that in the past. This is your decision, but rest assured we’ll stand by you whatever you choose. We’re proud of you no matter what you do.” She paused and winked at him. “But it’d be wonderful if you won that Cup before you took off on the next phase of your life.”

“Yeah, it would.” He smiled back.

“We’re here, Drew. I know you’re probably a little nervous to ask for our support considering our track record, but we’ve had a long, hard talk, and we’re trying hard to be better, especially your dad. You’re all we have, and we don’t want to lose you.”

“That means a lot to me.” He was choking up. Ducking his head, he pretended to struggle getting his wallet out of his back jeans pocket.

Cassandra stood, leaned down, and kissed his cheek. “We love you. Now kick some ass tomorrow night. We’ll be there screaming ourselves hoarse.”

“Thanks, Mom.” He smiled at her, his vision somewhat blurry as he watched her stroll from the room.

“And, Drew, follow your heart. The heart always knows the right path.”

 

* * * *

 

Marina checked the peephole and yanked the door open when she saw it was Drew. How opportune he’d shown up on her doorstep considering she’d been thinking about him and a possible future. Impossible as it might seem, optimism was her favorite choice right now.

“Hi,” she said breathlessly.

He wrapped her in his arms for a scorching kiss, and she gave it right back to him.

“Hey.” Still holding her tight like he never wanted to let her go, he smiled down at her.

“Hey to you, too. I didn’t expect to see you on game day.”

“I couldn’t stay away. I had to see you. You’re my good luck charm, and in the Finals, who am I to mess with magic as powerful as you?”

“Wow. I’m impressed. You’ve turned into a romantic.”

“Hardly. Don’t get your hopes up.”

She laughed, and the laughter cast sunshine over her previously cloudy days. “So what’s up?”

“I am.”

She pondered his true meaning before responding, but she could feel him, and he was up. “I’m not surprised. That’s never been a problem before.”

“Well, there is that. I mean, I feel high on life. Like I’ve been freed from the shackles that have bound me for years.”

“Shackles?”

“Yeah, expectations, my brother’s memory, my own fears. I’m seeing my future more clearly now.”

“I’m so glad.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Thank you.” She rested her chin on his chest, loving the solid feel of him.

“I had lunch with my mother yesterday. She gave me lots to think about.”

Marina stiffened, and her heart sank with dread.

He read her horrified expression and chuckled. “It’s not that bad. She was supportive of whatever I choose to do.”

“And what’s that?”

“I’m not sure yet, but whatever it is, I want you to be part of it.”

“How big of a part? A week? A month? A year?”

“How about a lifetime?” he finished for her.

Marina’s mouth dropped open, and she gaped at him in total shock. She hadn’t expected this. She’d dreamed of it, hoped for it, but never truly expected it.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“I need to think on this.”

“I know. Maybe this isn’t the right time. I need to get through the Finals. Together we can figure out next steps. If we have to see each other long distance for a year or two, I’m in.”

“Drew, I—”

“No need to answer now. Think on it. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” And she did. Fiercely. Passionately. Forever?

Yes, forever.

But how could they do this without one of them making a big sacrifice?

And which one?

Drew had the most to lose, yet she did, too, because her situation was more precarious, her future more uncertain, her choices more limited. If things didn’t work out between them or something happened, she had to protect herself by not being dependent on him. When it came to being dependent on others for her income, that rug had been pulled out from under her before.

She needed gainful employment no matter where she was, and she had an idea. It was a long shot at best, but what did she have to lose?