Chapter 19—Iced

During the Conference Finals the Sockeyes had won Game 1 and Game 2, lost Game 3 and Game 4, and split Game 5 and Game 6. Drew had played well in the last four and scored in each of them.

It was early morning, and the sun was rising. This evening they’d play at home in Game 7, and a win in this one put them in the Stanley Cup Finals. He was loving playing hockey, loving the deafening cheers of the home crowd, the intensity of his teammates, the complete absorption by everyone involved with the Sockeyes to reach their destination, from the towel boys to the owner.

He’d been so wrapped up in hockey, he’d refused to see what was going on in his personal life. Last night, he couldn’t ignore it.

Marina might have given him her body, but she was holding back something. He’d gotten spoiled over the past few weeks, as she’d been generous with her body, but now he wanted more. He wanted her everything, and he wasn’t satisfied with only the physical.

She was important to him. So much so, he felt an emptiness when he sensed her withdrawal. He didn’t have a lot of experience with close relationships, but he had to find out what was wrong and fix it.

Before he discovered a way to broach the subject, she rolled over, slid a condom from the nightstand, and rolled it onto his perpetually semi-hard dick. In record time, his boy was ready for battle. Not that being inside her was a battle, but it was as strenuous as training camp his rookie year.

She smiled down at him as she straddled his body. Her long hair tickled his chest and shoulders as she leaned forward to place kisses on his collarbone and lowered her sweet pussy onto his cock. He pulled in a breath as she sunk fully on him. She began to move up and down, bracing her hands on his shoulders.

“Damn,” he groaned, sucking his lower lip into his mouth and rolling his head back and forth. She picked up the speed, then just as she had him almost gone, she raised up until only the tip of his dick grazed her. A wicked smile lit up her pretty face. He liked it when she was wicked. He reached for her to push her hips downward, but she caught his hands by the wrists and held them over his head. He could’ve easily extracted them, but he played her game instead.

By the time he burst apart, she was well on her way, too, and he helped her along by meeting her thrusts with thrusts of his own. He came, and she followed shortly after.

“Drew. Oh, Drew. You feel so good.” Marina released his hands and leaned back on him. He wanted to respond, but his brain couldn’t produce coherent words.

As he finally floated back into the sane zone, he realized she’d done it again—used her body to make him come but withheld her heart and soul.

He’d become greedy where she was concerned. He wanted her heart, and he wanted her soul. A guy didn’t get far without risk, and he’d spent most of his life playing it safe. Now was the time to take a risk.

“Get dressed, I want to talk to you about something.”

She frowned, her expression tentative. “Good or bad?”

“Good, I hope.” He grinned encouragingly at her, his gaze drawn to her bare ass as she bent down to pull on her panties and jeans.

She caught him looking at her and threw a shoe at him, but he easily ducked and caught it in one hand.

“Come on, let’s go.”

They walked hand-in-hand onto the deck of his house with its peekaboo view of the water through the stand of cedar trees he refused to cut down.

Leaning against the railing, Drew put his arm around her and pulled her close. “Beautiful morning.”

“It is. The birds are chirping, it’s chilly, but the sky is blue, and it’s going to be lovely.

“Not as lovely as you.” He turned her so they were facing each other, and she smiled up at him.

“Flattery like that will get you everywhere, Mr. Delacorte.”

“I’m counting on it, gorgeous.”

“What’s so important you had to rouse me out of bed rather than keeping me there all morning?” Neither of them had to report to the arena until early afternoon.

Drew closed his eyes for a moment and composed his thoughts. His arms were wrapped loosely around her waist, and he wondered if this wasn’t the most important conversation he’d had in his life.

“I’ve never felt this way before. I’ve watched teammate after teammate succumb, and I honestly never thought it would happen to me.”

Her brow wrinkled in puzzlement, and she cocked her head slightly as if to hear him better.

“But it has. I can’t deny it anymore. You gave me life when I felt like I had nothing. You showed me how to feel again when I was numb with disinterest. You showed me anything is possible if I just put an effort into it.” He brushed a lock of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. “You are beautiful. The most beautiful woman in the world.”

She didn’t say anything. He couldn’t decipher her expression, so he pushed onward. “Marina, I’ve fallen head over fucking heels in love with you.”

Her mouth opened, and her lips formed a perfect “O.” She didn’t speak, just stared at him with that same unreadable expression. She blinked several times, and her gaze flicked to her hands, now resting on his hips. The silence tore at his gut. The longer it extended, the more nervous he became.

Finally, she took mercy on him and spoke. “Drew, I don’t know what to say. I had no idea.”

“Well, now you do. I love you.” There. He’d said it. “I want a future with you.”

“I don’t know if that’s possible.”

His stomach clenched, and his throat constricted. He was barely able to speak, but he managed somehow. “We can find a way. There are options.”

“Those doors keep closing. You’re leaning toward staying with the Sockeyes, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” he admitted.

“What if they offer me a full-time position as skating coach? We can’t have a relationship if I’m your coach. That would never fly.”

“You’d take the job?”

“I’d have to consider it if it was a good offer. They’re a great organization to work for, but you know that.”

He nodded, trying to smile as his world began to crumble around him. “I love you, Marina. Do you feel the same way?”

She stepped backward and turned away from him, leaning on the railing a few feet away. “I’ve never loved anyone, not like that. I don’t know how I feel. I care about you, Drew.”

“That’s a start.” He was as pathetic as a mutt in an animal shelter begging her to take him home and love him.

“I need time to think all this through. Right now, I can’t deal with this, and I can’t influence your future decisions any more than you can influence mine, or we’ll forever resent each other.”

He nodded. “I understand. Where do we go from here?”

“If we were smart, we’d end it now, but I’m not that smart.”

“Neither am I.” A broad grin spread across his face. He had her where he wanted her. If she didn’t want to end it, then there was hope, always hope. A full-time job with the Sockeyes would put a major wrinkle in his plans, but she was right. Any decisions about his future career choice had to be made independent of their relationship, and so did hers.

He just didn’t know if he could do that.

* * * *

Marina left Drew’s shortly after his declaration. She shut herself in her apartment and cried. She wasn’t sure why she was crying exactly. Maybe it was the futility of it all. She did love Drew, but she couldn’t tell him. He’d sacrifice his career for her because he was that kind of guy. She couldn’t let him do it, not when she wasn’t sure she would be willing to do the same thing.

She cried herself to sleep since she didn’t get much the night before, only waking when her alarm went off in the afternoon. She stumbled to the shower and spent a long time letting the warm water run over her body. She could still feel Drew on several parts of her, from nibbles on her skin, stubble burns, and between her legs. Drew was stamped on her body and her heart. She felt like shit for not telling him she loved him, too, but she just didn’t dare. She knew him too well.

She couldn’t think clearly enough to come up with solutions. Her brain was fuzzy, and she had to get to the arena. The Sockeyes were playing in their most important game to date. Tomorrow they could be flying high and heading for the Stanley Cup Finals or packing their bags and heading home with their season over.

She didn’t want the season to end, and her reasons weren’t entirely honorable. As long as the team kept playing, she could continue her secret relationship with Drew. The end of the season brought tough decisions she wasn’t ready to make. If she had to make a choice right now, she’d choose the Sockeyes, assuming they’d hire her. She didn’t see any other viable option. That choice meant Drew and her were over.

She could choose another team, but she’d come so far with this one. Besides, another team only complicated the issue. Imagine the conflict of interest if Drew and her were an item and they were on different teams.

With a sigh, she dressed and drove to the stadium.

Cave was loitering around the locker room door when she walked down the corridor. He stood straighter and waited for her.

“Hello, Jasper,” she said, calling him by his real name rather than Cave or Caveman.

“Hey.” He fidgeted and looked down at his big feet. Something had him nervous.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I, uh, I wanted to apologize for being such a dick to you.”

“Apology accepted.”

“You really have helped my skating. I feel like I can skate faster and turn sharper without fear of losing my skates out from under me. I’m using all my edges.” He grinned sheepishly at her, and she grinned back.

“Just doing my job.”

“And I didn’t make it easy for you. I’m sorry. Well, uh, that’s all I’ve got to say.” He lumbered into the locker room, more athletic on skates than he was in street shoes.

“Wow, we should’ve gotten that on video.” Drew stood behind her looking all kinds of gorgeous in his black designer suit. Drew didn’t go for more stylish colors. He was a black and white guy in more ways than one. His tentative smile melted her resolve somewhat.

“Good luck tonight.” She turned toward him and adjusted his tie without thinking. She yanked her hands back as Coop appeared in the corridor. He walked past them, casting a scathing glance in their direction.

“Deli, we have a game to play,” Coop chastised him. His gaze swept over Marina with disapproval. She swallowed and backed up a step. Coop knew. He didn’t like it, but she doubted he’d out them.

Drew gave Marina a lopsided smile and hurried after his captain, probably to do damage control.

Smooth was on their heels, and he paused as he passed her. “You’re navigating through a land mine, Marina. Watch where you step.”

She swallowed and thanked him. Her hands were shaking, and she didn’t feel so good. Not like she had a moment ago. Turning, she slipped into the coaches’ area and drank a bottle of water. Gorst walked by and did a double take.

“You OK?”

“I’m fine. I guess I have nerves. Can’t imagine how the guys feel.”

“Can you keep a secret?”

Her heart skipped a beat and she nodded. She wasn’t keen on being privy to one more secret even if it didn’t involve her personally.

“I’m nervous, too. We all are. If you’ve been with this team since its Florida days, you’d understand how many years of mediocrity this franchise suffered under the Sleezer brothers. They bled the team’s coffers dry and never ponied up for decent facilities or paid more than they were forced to pay for good talent.”

“That’s sounds like a nightmare.”

“It was.” He hesitated. “You’ve done a great job with the team. We should talk about your future plans, but not now.” He winked and moved on to the small sitting area to get something from the fridge.

Moments later, she filed into the arena with the coaches and players. The place was electric, and the din in the arena didn’t let up. Twenty thousand plus packed Sockeyes Arena to the gills. No one was sitting down. Every win carried them one step closer to the coveted Cup, and the fans found ways to step it up a notch just as the players did.

The guys had played a grueling seven games in each playoff round. She could see the weariness in their faces, but she could also see the raw determination. Every single one of them wanted this. Marina wanted the win for them, too, and for Ethan and Coach and all the fans who raised the roof every night.

Drew skated around the ice with his teammates, warming up, and Marina couldn’t take her eyes off him. He was one fine man, and his blue and green hockey uniform didn’t detract from his sexiness. He glanced over at her and caught her watching, jerking his head upward in acknowledgment. She broke into a grin before quickly glancing around to make sure she wasn’t noticed.

No one was looking her way. Attention was on the players, not her.

Thank God.

She still couldn’t shake her feelings of dread.