Nine weeks later

Despite the shocking news of a couple months ago, Ethan and I have been going strong. We are practically inseparable and can’t keep our hands off each other. Seven weeks ago, we spent the weekend in Plymouth, visiting his sister and her husband. It couldn’t have gone better. Ethan had told her about the baby when he visited for business, and his sister took it really well. Judy and I have become really close, practically calling each other every day. She always asks how her little niece or nephew is, which is really sweet.

As the court case approaches, I can’t wait to finally be free of being called Mrs. Armstrong. Kyle’s still silent, which both worries and confuses me. I’m grateful for the freedom, but I always have one eye on the lookout, just in case he pops up out of nowhere. It’s no way to live, I know that, but I just don’t trust him.

Then today, out of the blue, I get a text message asking me to meet him at Briarsford Cemetery. I find it odd, but am also intrigued. It isn’t too far from here. I also know there are lots of people milling around most of the time so, probably against my better judgment, I agree.

I had taken the day off because I was feeling a little ill. I try calling Ethan at work to tell him where I’m going, but he doesn’t answer. I leave a voicemail before grabbing my keys. I still feel a little queasy, but not as bad as I did this morning. Sally—bless her—offered to come over this afternoon with a ginger cake Mrs. Bellingham had made. She got wind that I was ill and could sometimes only keep down anything with ginger, so she insisted on making me a ginger cake, dropping it off at work for somebody to bring to me. One day soon, I know I’m going to have to send her flowers as a thank you. I’m sure she would appreciate that.

I park by the cemetery and look around. I don’t see Kyle, but I do see people buying flowers from the florist right next to the front gates. I get out and start walking, then receive another text from Kyle.

Tenth row down the left.

Looking up, I squint, trying to locate him. In the distance, I spot someone sitting on a bench. It looks like it might be Kyle, but this guy has much shorter hair. I start walking, passing a couple mourning over a child’s grave. My heart goes out to them. As I pass a couple more rows, I spot an elderly man kneeling at the grave of a woman who died five years ago. He’s fussing around it, pulling weeds and laying fresh flowers. He’s so loving, it makes me think she must have been his wife. My heart hurts for the man. I wonder if Ethan and I will be like that when we’re older. He has become my life lately. We connect on a level I’ve never experienced. It’s monumental and exhilarating at the same time.

As I approach the tenth row, I cautiously move closer to the bench. I can still only see the back of this man with his long black coat and hair that’s shaved at the sides. It’s definitely Kyle’s colour, but I’ve never seen him with a shaved head.

“Kyle?” I ask guardedly.

He turns, showing me the crooked smile I used to love so much. He looks different, though. Like the smile is genuine, but not real. There’s a hidden sadness behind it, making me walk closer.

“Thank you for coming,” he says, immediately staring back to where he was looking.

I take a seat next to him, but not too close. I’m extremely curious, but also wary. I look around, still seeing a lot of people in the area. I breathe out, feeling better.

“Is everything okay?” I practically whisper.

I watch his Adam’s apple bob a little as he swallows. He looks like Kyle, but not the one I married. In fact, this looks like half the man I married. I can tell he’s lost weight and, although his clothes are clean, looks like he hasn’t shaved in a couple days.

“Three months ago, my father died.”

Placing my hand over my mouth, I gasp. Instinctively, I edge closer. “Oh, my god, Kyle. I’m so sorry.”

He sighs. “You couldn’t know. It was a sudden heart attack. My mother phoned for an ambulance, but he died on the way to the hospital. There was nothing they could do.”

Shaking my head, tears spring to my eyes. I don’t know why I’m crying, considering I used to despise the man. I just know how close Kyle was to his dad. “I don’t know what to say...”

“Then don’t say anything. That’s not why I invited you here anyway. It’s not you who needs to talk. It’s me. I just hoped you would give me the time to listen.” He turns to me expectantly.

“Of course.” As if the timing couldn’t be worse, my phone starts ringing. “Sorry,” I say. “I’ll switch it off.” I take it out of my pocket and see that it’s Ethan. I press REJECT, switch it off, and put it back in my pocket. “I’m all ears.” I look back up at him.

“I take it that was Ethan?” he asks, looking at me with a raised eyebrow. I’m about to answer when he raises his hand. “You know what? It’s none of my business.” He turns away, placing his hands in his lap.

This is so surreal. He is Kyle, but not Kyle.

“After my dad died, I sank into a deep depression. I started drinking even more and getting into fights. My last fight ended up with a man in the hospital on life support. He survived, but it was a wakeup call. I went to court and managed to just scrape out of getting a prison sentence. I am on probation for the next couple years, though.” He stops for a moment, giving me the chance for all this to sink in. I can’t quite believe my ears.

“After the court case, I decided to seek help and checked myself into an AA clinic. In there, I learned a lot about myself and what I did to others. I realise now that I am a very selfish man. Nothing was ever my fault. It was everyone else’s.” He looks at me. “It was always yours.” He shakes his head. “Have you ever heard of the twelve steps?” I nod. “Number nine is to make amends with anyone we’ve ever wronged. That’s why I’m here.” He turns and gives me a genuine smile. One I had never seen on Kyle before.

“How’s your mum?” I ask.

“She’s fine.” He chuckled. “Better than fine, in fact. When I got out of AA, I went home and she looked completely different. Her hair had changed, her wardrobe had changed, and even the house had changed. She looked like a different woman.”

I smirk. “What brought that on?”

He looks at me with sadness. “My father’s death.” I frown. “You see, what I had failed to realise was that although my mother and father were married, they were never truly happy. My mother wasn’t anyway. When I asked her why the change, she said she had always been this way. Over the years, my father had dragged her down. She began to feel worthless. She began to feel like she had nothing in life to look forward to, other than cleaning the house and making dinner. That was her life…and that was the life I was trying to force upon you.” I’m about to open my mouth, but he holds a hand up. “You and I both know it was heading in that direction.” He sighs. “You know the real reason I don’t want to be a father?” I shake my head. “Because I know, deep down, I’m not worthy.”

“Oh, I don’t believe that.”

Kyle laughs. “That’s very kind of you, but that is just you all over. Always trying to see the best in people. Even if I were this baby’s father,” he says, looking down at my obvious bump, “I would never be able to look after it in the way the child deserves. The baby deserves a mother like you, though. He or she is extremely lucky.” He smiles, and that is when I realise I’m crying. That has to be the sweetest thing Kyle has ever said to me.

He reaches into a pocket and hands me a handkerchief. “Please, don’t cry. You know I don’t like it when you cry.” I cry harder, laughing at the same time. “This certainly wasn’t what I was expecting today.”

“What? Me a blubbering mess?”

“No, you agreeing to see me. But I know you were probably curious. I kind of hoped you would hear me out, but I wouldn’t have blamed you if you wanted to leave without saying a word. I know I deserve as much.”

In that moment, I feel sorry for Kyle, which I thought would never happen. “We’ve known each other for years. You were my first love. Of course I would want to hear you out. You’re trying to make amends.”

“I’m sorry,” he says. “For everything.”

I smile. “That’s okay. You’re forgiven.”

He blows out a breath. “You don’t realise how much I needed to hear that.”

“Oh, come on. Everyone deserves a second chance.”

He shakes his head. “Not after I hit you and broke your window in a jealous rage.”

My smile vanishes. “Well… The window, yes, but not—”

“Please, don’t make excuses for me. That’s what I used to do. Remember? I made you my enabler because I was selfish.” We stay silent for a moment. “I know I don’t deserve this, but can I ask one last favour before we leave each other today?”

“Sure.”

“Can you walk with me to the florist and help me pick a bunch of flowers for my father?”

As much as I didn’t like the man, I can at least do this for Kyle. “Of course.”

We get up, and it’s only then I notice Kyle carrying a briefcase. This is also something new, but I don’t ask. We walk silently to the florist where I help him pick out a beautiful bunch of white lilies. I follow Kyle to his father’s grave and watch as he bends down to place the lilies on top.

We stand silently, looking at his grave. Kyle suddenly turns to me and opens his briefcase, taking out a brown manila envelope and handing it to me. He looks close to tears.

“I know I can’t fully make up for my misdemeanours, but I sure hope this is a small start.” Frowning, I look from the envelope to him. “You’re a free woman, Alice. I signed the papers. There’s no need to go to court. I’ve instructed my solicitor to tell yours. I’m sure he’ll be in touch.”

I start crying again. This time, he pulls me into his arms. “Please, don’t cry. We both know this is for the best. You’ll be a much better person without me.”

For the first time in a long time, Kyle holds me without wanting anything in return. It’s a poignant moment, one I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Not because I’m still in love with Kyle or want him back, but because something tells me this will be the last time I will ever see him.

Pulling away, he smiles. “Now go. Be happy. But,” he says with a troubled frown, “I feel that I have to warn you. Ethan isn’t everything you think he is.”

I stand there, shocked, as he kisses my forehead and quickly leaves. I’m confused as hell. Why would he warn me about Ethan? What on earth has he done?

Drying my tears with Kyle’s handkerchief, I turn to walk toward the exit. But when I see who’s there, I stop.