The next morning, Ethan got up before the sun rose, kissing my cheek before he left. I could have gone back to sleep for another hour, but thinking about the night before kept me up. We made love two more times, sleep the only thing keeping us from seeking more.

At work, I couldn’t stop the smile on my face. Of course, Sally asked me what was going on. Because I trusted her, I told her everything. She was happy, but warned me to go slow. I was not going to let the fact that Ethan was the father of my baby get in the way of things.

That night, I tossed and turned. I knew I missed Ethan, which pissed me off. I should be able to survive a night without him. I had survived several when Kyle went away on trips.

The following morning, I rush out to get Ethan some of his favourite iced doughnuts. Our sixteen-week scan is later this afternoon, but I can’t last a moment longer without seeing him.

I pay for the doughnuts and head out the door, a smile on my face. It’s another cold day, but I don’t care. The skies can be overcast and grey for all I care. Nothing can take my happiness away. Also, the possibility of curling up in Ethan’s bed for a couple hours before leaving for our appointment has my head spinning with excitement. I thought all the sex Ethan and I had the night before would have calmed me. Instead, it seems to have done the opposite. I haven’t thought of anything else since.

I walk the twenty minutes to Ethan’s flat. With every step, the cold in my veins turns hotter. As I reach the last corner, I’m boiling. My heart starts drumming in anticipation.

Biting my lip, I open the gate that leads to his flat and knock on the door. When he doesn’t answer, I decide to ring the doorbell. Nothing. I start to walk away when I hear the door open. I smile as I turn, but it immediately vanishes when I see Sarah standing in the doorway wearing nothing but Ethan’s shirt.

“Oh, sorry,” she says with a giggle. “Ethan’s in the shower. I was about to head in to join him when I heard the doorbell. How are you?”

I feel my eyes start to well with tears, but I push them away. “Are you two back together?”

“Well,” she says, opening the door more. “I came over yesterday because I had some big news to tell him.” She places her hand on her stomach and rubs over a very definite baby bump. One that’s bigger than mine. Stepping back, I place a hand over my mouth. “Shocking, I know,” she says, beaming. “Ethan was elated when I told him. All this time of not being able to get pregnant. I was so convinced I couldn’t, I didn’t even realise I was. I just thought I was putting on weight.”

I swallow the bile rising in my throat. “How... How far along are you?”

“Twenty-four weeks.” Everything seems to spin around me. “Listen, I would love to catch up, but it’s getting cold and Ethan’s waiting for me. I really want to talk to you, though. I want to apologise for the way I behaved recently. I obviously wasn’t myself.” She points to her stomach. “You understand. Hormones and everything.” She bursts into laughter. “Anyway, lovely seeing you. I’ll tell Ethan you stopped by. Speak soon.”

She immediately shuts the door, leaving me stunned. Finally finding the strength to move, I leave, walking back to my house. I don’t recall the journey. I just feel numb.

When I step into my house and place Ethan’s doughnuts on the table, the tears start to flow. I fall onto the sofa, crying onto the cushions. I thought Ethan was different, but he seems to be just like Kyle. Was he just biding his time, waiting for the chance to seduce me? And now that he’s had that chance, he can go back to Sarah? All that bullshit he told me about not being happy was just that… Bullshit.

I don’t think I’ll ever trust another man again. I need to get this divorce and get both men out of my life for good. I was a pushover at one time, but no more.

After crying until I’m empty, I sit quietly on the sofa for a couple hours, contemplating what my life will be like. I know I need to get up and go to my appointment. I should be happy. In fact, this is supposed to be one of the happiest moments of my life. But now I feel robbed of it. I have never felt resentment for someone before, but I feel it now. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I want what Sarah has.

As it gets to the point where I can’t postpone it any longer, I grab my keys and head to my appointment. I feel like I’m on auto-pilot as I drive there, then check in. Every time the door of the waiting room opens, I hope it’s Ethan, coming to tell me it was a mistake.

I have the scan, elated that everything looks normal and healthy. My heart lights up when the doctor prints a few pictures of the baby for me, and any tears shed are ones of happiness.

I leave, once again feeling the numbness as I walk toward the parking lot. Once home, all I feel is disappointment. I truly thought Ethan was better than this. He certainly gave me the right signals, practically telling me he wanted a full-blown relationship. That’s why this is so odd.

Whatever the reason, you can’t dispute the fact that Sarah was at his flat. I could hear the shower running. She was in his shirt. She is definitely pregnant. But what disappoints me even more is that Ethan didn’t make the appointment to see his baby.

I start laughing at the irony. Ethan wanted a baby and now he has two on the way, which means they’ll be siblings with two different mothers. This just all seems like something out of a movie.

Once I make myself a cup of tea, I turn my phone on, seeing no messages or missed calls from Ethan apologising. No explanation at all.

Disappointment creeps up again. I always thought I was a good judge of character, but then again, look at me with Kyle. I laugh. Maybe I should turn lesbian. I’m certainly not having much luck with men.

I sip my tea, contemplating my future. I was ready to be a single mum before Ethan came along with his false promises. Now it looks as though I need to prepare for that once more.