“Red or white?” I ask Sarah as she sits at the kitchen island.

“White, please.”

The island was the one thing I insisted on getting when we moved in. I was content to have Kyle make decisions on a lot of things, but the kitchen island was definitely one thing I said I wanted. He wasn’t keen, but now spends a lot of time reading his paper and drinking his coffee at it. More often than not, we eat breakfast there. He won’t admit that I was right about it, though.

“How was work?” she asks as I pour her a glass.

“Not too bad. Oh, you know Mrs. Bellingham?”

“The woman who won’t stop calling you?”

“That’s the one. Well, she rang me when the investigator paid her a visit. She was panicking, saying she thought he looked shifty-eyed and asked me to describe him to her.”

Sarah laughs. “Oh, my god. That woman is something else.”

I shrug. “I think she’s just lonely and feels vulnerable. Once I described him and told her I would call his mobile so she could see, she let him in. Mark had to hand her the phone just so she knew it was me on the line.” I shake my head with a smile. “Bless her.”

Sarah snorts. “She sounds like a right pain in the arse. You’re so patient. I think I would have told her to fuck off a long time ago.”

Yes, Mrs. Bellingham does call every day, and I do moan about it, but I know she means well. I just think she’s desperately lonely and is reaching out.

“Anyway, what about you?” I ask, changing the subject.

She rolls her eyes, sighing. “Well, apart from knowing I have to meet that bitch this weekend, I’m fine. Ethan has been extra attentive lately...if you know what I mean.”

I smile, but I don’t feel it inside for some reason. “That’s great. You deserve a bit of pampering.”

She shrugs. “I know. I think it’s well-deserved after all the questions, tests, and more tests. I’m so over it already.” She gasps. “Oh, I forgot to tell you. I saw Kyle driving his new car today. He actually stopped and had a quick coffee with me before driving me home.”

I frown. He never told me that. I don’t mind, but I know for a fact Kyle would be angry if he knew I met Ethan for coffee today.

“Yes. He’s practically lived in his car ever since he bought it.”

She looks around the house. “I take it he’s out?”

I nod. “Yeah. He went to a leaving-do near work. He should be back by eleven.”

“I’ll probably be gone by then. Unfortunately, we have to get up early tomorrow to avoid the Saturday traffic.” I smile at her as we both take a sip of our drinks. “Ethan told me how it went today and that he gave you some kits.”

I nod, a little uneasy about talking to her about it. “Yes. We had coffee and sat to talk about logistics.”

Sarah laughs. “It’s like we’re planning a major operation.”

I snort. “It does kind of sound a bit military, doesn’t it?”

“I spoke with Kyle about it.”

I raise my eyebrows. “You did?”

She nods, averting her eyes to her glass in front of her. “Yeah. I asked him how he felt, and he said he wasn’t completely happy about you being pregnant with another man’s baby, but knows this is what you want. He also told me you practically blackmailed him with the car.” She smirks.

I gasp. “I did not blackmail him.” I shrug. “I would call it more of a bribe.”

“He told me you’re not planning to have children for a few more years.”

I sigh, looking down for a moment. “Those were my bargaining chips. The car and waiting for a while. I know Kyle’s not enthusiastic about having a baby right now, but considering I will be carrying yours, I’m sure I can wait.”

“He mentioned about you being so kind and selfless. He also said he’s extremely lucky to have you. I can tell he dotes on you.”

I smile at that. I certainly wasn’t expecting him to discuss me with Sarah. As I look at her, though, I see something in her eyes. I don’t know what it is, but I swear there’s something there... Jealousy, perhaps? I’m not sure what it is, but when she has a man like Ethan, I don’t see how she can be.

“We have our differences, like any couple, but the sweet times always make up for it.”

“And the rough sex,” she jokes.

I laugh, but I don’t agree with her. I don’t mind the rough sex, but only if I’m on-board with it. Kyle takes whenever he feels like it. It doesn’t seem to matter if I’m in the mood or not.

“Rough sex is good, but it’s sometimes nice to have a gentle lover.”

Sarah pffts at me. “More like a boring lover. Give me rough sex any day.” She takes a swig of her drink, then sets it down. “Don’t get me wrong. Ethan is a fantastic lover. I orgasm every time, but there are occasions I want him to be a bit rough with me. I just don’t think he has it in him.”

To me, her sex life sounds amazing. My next sentence is barely audible. “I’ve never orgasmed during sex.”

Sarah practically spits out her wine. “Never?” I shake my head. “Oh my. Maybe it’s just that you’re not relaxed enough. You should try yoga before sex, or even Tantra. Apparently, that’s good. I assume you have actually felt what it’s like to orgasm? You can get yourself off, right?” I blush a little at her question, but nod. She then leans over the counter. “You know, I recently read about this tapping technique.”

I frown. “Tapping?”

She giggles. “Yeah. You lie on the bed and play with yourself to get all wet. Once you get your juices flowing, gather them up on your clit, open your legs wide, and start tapping on it. I tried it out the other day when Ethan was at work.”

“And?” I ask eagerly.

“It was one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had with myself. Normally, the most intense ones are when I stimulate myself with the palm of my hand on my mound. For some reason, they’re the best. Another good one is when you use your middle finger and forefinger of your less dominant hand to pinch your clit up slightly so it’s nicely puckered, then gently circle it with your other hand.” She starts fanning herself. “I’m turning myself on here.”

Me, too, but I won’t admit that to her. “It all sounds...pleasurable.” I start giggling.

“You should try it. Maybe ask Kyle to help you.” She winks before taking a sip of her drink. I’m sure Kyle would never entertain the idea.

Wriggling in my seat a bit, I feel flustered. What Sarah said has given me some ideas for when Kyle’s not around.

“Do you and Kyle watch porn?”

I shake my head. “I don’t, but I know Kyle does. I caught him a few days ago watching something about glory holes.”

Sarah almost spits out her wine again. “Oh, my god. That’s so funny. I think I’ve seen one or two videos, but I mainly watch the plain old man-woman ones. Did Kyle know you caught him?”

“No. I walked in on him when he was in his study. He was sitting in his chair with his back to me. I could hear noises, so looked closer and saw a man sticking his dick through a hole and having sex with a woman.”

“Was Kyle playing with himself?”

“Sarah!”

She laughs. “I’m only asking.”

I turn bright red. “He... He was rubbing himself.”

“Did he come find you?”

I turn even redder. “About five minutes later, he came into the living room, told me he was horny, and we had sex on the sofa.”

“Hot,” she says, fanning herself again. “We should really stop talking about sex. I’m getting so horny, even you are looking attractive to me.”

I gasp. “Thanks.”

She laughs. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just don’t find women attractive in that way. I did experiment with Joanie when we were at school, though.”

“Really?” I remember Joanie. She was openly bisexual and didn’t care what anyone thought. I admired her for it.

“Yeah. I think we were both fifteen. Do you remember when we had that slumber party at my house where we all dressed in our jammies and pretended to be the girls from Grease?”

I start laughing. “Oh yeah. I remember that night. Sophia got drunk and spent half the night in your bathroom.”

“That’s the night. We all had a little to drink that night. You and Barbara fell asleep, Sophia was in the bathroom, so that left Joanie and I. We were up talking and drinking. We got onto the subject of sex and I admitted that I was curious. She asked me questions and, before I knew it, we started making out under the covers of my bed. We were both so hot and horny, we had to move to the spare bedroom. We definitely got down and dirty that night. She was only fifteen, but already knew what she was doing. I learned a lot about my own body that night. From then on, I knew how to pleasure myself.”

I’m shocked to hear this after eleven years. I never had a clue. But, now that she mentions it, I do remember something. “You and she became distant. Was it because of that?”

She grits her teeth a little. “Yeah. I kind of shunned her because I felt embarrassed by what we had done. I told her I wasn’t a lesbian, and she told me nothing had to change. If I didn’t want to do it again, we never had to. I just felt wrong every time I looked at her. I felt like a shit friend for doing it, but I was only fifteen. I didn’t know what I wanted half the time.”

I feel bad for Joanie. She was a good friend to us and certainly didn’t deserve that. I remember remaining friends with her, but we became distant after a while, too. It was only because of my unwavering loyalty to Sarah. I saw that they weren’t hanging out so, little by little, Joanie and I didn’t hang out so much, either.

“I wonder what she’s doing now,” I ponder.

“Last I heard, she was married with two kids.”

“Seriously?” I ask, genuinely intrigued.

“Yeah. I bumped into Maisie… Do you remember her?”

I nod. She was the geeky girl everyone thought would do well as an adult. She did do well, but I was shocked to hear she owned a tattoo parlour and had twenty-five of her own tattoos. Everyone assumed she would grow up to be a lawyer or a doctor or something.

Sarah continues. “Well, she was meeting a client in Padstow and just so happened to get a coffee at the same café I was in. We talked for a little while. She doesn’t live in Cornwall anymore, but she misses it. She was glad to be visiting around our way again. Anyway, she told me she lives in Brighton now, and so does Joanie. They see each other from time to time.”

“Is she happy?”

“Maisie said she was. She apparently found her one.”

I smile. “I’m glad.”

“Oh, do you remember Janet?”

I frown, trying to remember. “Is she the one who had a fixation with Tommy Rodgers?”

Sarah starts laughing. “Oh yeah. I can’t believe you remember his name.”

I snort. “It’s a bit hard not to when that was all she ever talked about.”

She grimaces a little. “Well, she’s not talking about him…or anybody, for that matter.”

“What does that mean?”

“She lost her parents a few years back. They were killed by intruders. Janet was staying with them, but was out with friends that particular night. When she got back, there was blood everywhere. Unfortunately, she found their bodies. She was never the same afterward. Drinking, drugs. She overdosed last Christmas.”

I gasp. “Oh, my god. That’s terrible.” I think about losing my own parents. I just wish I could have been there to help her somehow. I know finding their bodies must have been horrific. “If only we hadn’t lost touch. Maybe I could have been there for her.”

“It’s no one’s fault. It’s just the way it is. Not everyone keeps in touch once they leave school. I bet Janet never gave us a second thought.”

“I guess we’ll never know.”

Sarah sighs. “Too true.” After a few seconds of silence, she picks up her drink. “When did this conversation turn so dark? One minute, we’re talking about sex; the next, it’s death. I think we need to watch a bit of you know who to lift our spirits.”

I smile. “Ooo… I’ve deliberately not watched it to save up for when you come over.” That’s one reason. The other is because Kyle never really lets me watch what I want when he’s around.

“Come on. Let’s make some popcorn and replenish our wine. Lucifer won’t wait forever.”

We make some popcorn and open another bottle of wine, giggling the whole time. Once all is ready, we settle down on the couch. I have been looking forward to this all day. When we’re well into the first episode, I realise how much I enjoy these moments. It’s like I have breathing space to do whatever I like.

“Oh god. Tom Ellis is so fucking dreamy. The things I would do to that man…,” Sarah says, a wistful sound in her voice.

I look at the screen and see him leaning over a table, asking a witness what they desire. His face always looks sexy and mischievous. I sigh. “Yes, he is.” I think about Kyle and how pissed he would be at that statement. “Sarah?”

“Yes?”

I bite my lip. “Can you do me a favour?”

She turns her head to me. “Of course. Anything.”

“Can you not mention to Kyle that I met with Ethan today?”

Frowning, she sits up. “Why not?”

“Well, despite the fact that you know and were even supposed to be there, Kyle would get really angry.”

She smirks. “He not only dishes out rough sex, but also has the green-eyed monster in him?” She starts laughing, but I never find Kyle’s antics funny. Sure, it was a little fun and sexy in the beginning, but now it’s just plain suffocating.

“Well, yes. He gets really jealous over nothing.”

“But I met him for coffee today. Wouldn’t that be a bit hypocritical?”

I snort. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you? Not when it comes to Kyle, though.”

“But you’re planning on having our baby. There will be times when you’ll have to meet with one or both of us.”

I look away. “Yeah, I know that, too. Again, he won’t like it.”

“Have you given him any reason he can’t trust you? You’ve been faithful, right?

“Of course I’ve been faithful. Kyle is all I have ever known.”

She looks away for a minute. “Hmm, it sounds as though he has insecurity issues. Maybe he’s frightened you’ll leave him.”

My eyes widen. “I’ve given him no reason to think that way.”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. He’s a man. You can’t have it both ways.” She starts laughing, then looks at my serious expression. “I’m sorry. Is he really that bad?” When I nod, she blows out a long breath. “Okay. I won’t say anything to him. I’ll tell Ethan not to, as well, just in case. We have dinner often, so he might let it slip.”

I give a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

Grabbing my hand, she pats it lightly. “No problem. After all, you’re having my baby. I think it’s the least I can do.”

I smile. “Ethan said the same today when I thanked him for buying me a latte.”

She grins. “He does things like that. When we first started dating, he found out I had a thing for blueberry muffins, so he bought me one every time we had a date.”

“Aww, that’s nice. Doesn’t he do that now?”

She shakes her head, smirking. “Nah, I told him to stop. After a while, I couldn’t stand blueberry muffins.”

“Familiarity breeds contempt, huh?”

She nods. “Yeah. Too much of a good thing, I suppose.”

At that moment, we hear the familiar roar of an engine. I raise an eyebrow at Sarah. “Guess who’s back?”

“Playtime is over. Quick. Hide Tom Ellis before he spots him.”

I quickly turn off the TV as we both start giggling. I guess the wine has gone to our heads.

Kyle walks in, seeing us laughing. “Share the joke?”

Sarah leans back on the couch so she can look at Kyle. “Your wife wanted to know if I would experiment with her. I told her she wasn’t my type.” She starts laughing as I nudge her.

Kyle smirks. “Mmm, two women together, huh? Every man’s fantasy. Should I get the camera out now?”

Sarah rolls her eyes. “See? Men are so predictable. If they weren’t, there wouldn’t be any glory to it.” She winks at me and we both start a fit of giggles again.

Kyle frowns, obviously not having a clue as to what we’re talking about. “I wouldn’t say that.”

Deciding to change the subject, I look up at him. “Did you enjoy your evening?”

He nods. “Yeah, I did.” He looks at the wine bottles and popcorn on the table. “I see you’ve been having a great time, too. What were you watching?”

Sarah and I look at each other. “Only Gilmore Girls. Boring girly stuff that you wouldn’t be interested in,” I smirk.

“Well, I’m glad I wasn’t here for that shit.”

Sarah places her empty glass on the table. “I’d better be off. Plymouth tomorrow. Whoop, whoop,” she says, raising her fist in the air.

I get up at the same time she does and hug her. “You’ll pull through it. I know you will.”

“How are you getting home?” Kyle asks.

She pulls out her phone. “I can call for a taxi.”

Kyle shakes his head. “Don’t be silly. I only had two drinks tonight. I’ll drive you.”

Sarah looks at me and I smile. “That would be better than getting a cab, Sarah.”

She looks back at Kyle. “You sure you don’t mind?”

“Of course not. You only live ten minutes away. It’s not a big deal. I’ll be there and back in no time.”

She shrugs, smiling. “Okay. That’ll be great. Thank you.”

Sarah hugs me again, Kyle coming over to give me a quick peck on the cheek. “I’ll see you soon.” He smacks my arse, making me yelp.

Sarah winks at me. “Speak soon, babes.”

I smile. “Yeah. And don’t worry about the weekend too much. You’ll be fine.”

Just as they leave, I hear Kyle ask Sarah what’s going on this weekend. I don’t pick up on what she says as the door clicks. I listen to the roar of the engine before it pulls away.

Smiling, I gather all the wine bottles, glasses, and popcorn. Once garbage is thrown away and dishes are in the sink, I make my way upstairs and get ready for bed. I check the time and see it’s already ten after midnight. Man, time just flew tonight.

Once I’m ready, I slip under the sheets and turn to look at the time again. Twelve thirty. I would have thought Kyle would be home by now. It’s definitely been at least a half-hour.

After another ten minutes, I start to get sleepy, then hear the distant sound of an engine. Soon after, Kyle walks into the bedroom and I hear him start to undress. I feel the dip in the bed as he scoots under the covers and places his arm around me. He smells like cigarettes.

“You were gone a while,” I mumble.

He starts massaging my breasts. “I stopped off at the store for cigarettes.”

“I thought you were giving those nasty things up?”

Digging his erection into my bum, he starts pulling up my negligee. “You know what I’m like when I socialise. I won’t smoke tomorrow, so don’t nag. I think you can tell I’m after something else right about now. I’ve wanted to feel your pussy around my cock all night. I’ve been aching for you.” He places his fingers at my entrance. “Fuck, Alice... You’re so fucking wet. I can’t wait any longer.”

The only reason I’m wet is because of all the sex talk tonight. That, and watching Tom Ellis. I suppose the alcohol has helped me relax a little. I’m sleepy, so I’m not one hundred percent into this.

Kyle enters me and hisses out a long, drawn-out “fuck” as he does. Gripping my hips tightly, he quickly starts moving in and out of me, grunting as his hot breath hits my ear.

“So fucking sexy. Shit, Alice, you’re going to make me come. I can never last long with you. You make it too fucking good.”

In no time, he roars out, squeezing my hips hard as he stills.

As he pulls out, he snuggles his head into the crook of my neck. “Love you, baby.”

I place my hand over his as he snakes it around me. “Love you, too.”

“That’s all I ever want to hear.”

I soon hear heavy, deep breathing, letting me know he’s fast asleep. I want to move, but I can’t. He has me locked in place, like he’s scared I’ll leave. It makes me think back to what Sarah said tonight about his insecurity. I don’t know what it is with Kyle, but I know our relationship isn’t exactly a conventional one. It’s just funny how it’s taken me eight years to figure that out.