I barely recalled the drive back to the city. What I did remember was the way Logan calmed me. He talked me through every contraction, and even put Brit to work by having her keep track of the time between each one. He even calmed the nervous driver. I didn’t think the guy had any idea who would be cooking the meal of his life for his beloved wife. She was one lucky girl. I tried not to think about giving birth in the backseat. I didn’t think I’d ever been so relieved to see a hospital come into sight. Logan, Emily, and Eric were waiting for us at the hospital entrance when we arrived. Logan quickly thanked Hector before turning all of his attention to me.
“If this was just a ruse you should be an actress instead of a bartender baby.”
“I’m sorry Logan.” A bitch of a contraction ripped through me. Logan quickly looked at his watch. He kissed my forehead once he got me seated in the waiting wheelchair after the contraction stopped. I released the grip I had on his arms. I didn’t deserve his kisses or his compassion right now; I had gone behind his back and seen his brother.
“Let’s not think about that right now. Let’s meet our daughter.” Did he have any idea how amazing he was? He swore I was the reason his broken heart began to beat again, but I had no doubt in my mind it was him who did that for me. I just had no idea how broken I was until Logan put me back together again. Time didn’t heel all wounds. Love did.
Luckily, we had done our pre-registration as a part of our birthing class, so I was taken straight to labor and delivery on the twelfth floor.
“I need drugs.” Fuck the birth plan. I thought I could handle this. I was wrong. “I can’t do this.”
“You’ve got this Libby.” My sister encouraged me once I was in a gown and waiting for the doctor to come in and check me. If he told me I was only at two centimeters, I would throat punch her. Yeah, I needed drugs. The good ones. Stat.
“How are we doing in here?” Fuck that. “We” weren’t being ripped in two from the inside out. I was and where the hell was doctor Proby?
The good doctor gloved up and was just about ready to see if my carpet matched my drapes when Logan intervened. “Who exactly are you and where is doctor Proby?” At that moment I didn’t really care who he was as long as he could get me drugs.
“This must be your first time. I’m Doctor Haskins. I’m just going to check the patient’s progress, and then I’ll have the nurse update her regular doctor with how things are progressing. This isn’t the movies folks. People rarely give birth in the back of cabs on the way to the hospital. More than likely we’ll be sending you home until you are a little further along.” Fuck that! I wasn’t leaving there until I had a baby in my arms. Logan wasn’t impressed either.
“The patient has a name doc and unless you know it you’re not touching her. Her water also broke an hour ago, and she’s having contractions less than three minutes apart. I’m fairly sure she’s in active labor now.” Have I mentioned I love this man?
“That’s another one,” Emily announced as she watched the monitor they had hooked me up too. Not that I needed for her to tell me I had another contraction. Logan took my hand, and I squeezed the hell out of it. Doctor Haskin’s took a moment to read my file but wisely waited for the pain to ease before saying anything else.
“Miss. Barnes.” Was he trying to further piss Logan off by calling me, miss?
“Libby,” I corrected him. If he was about to check my who-ha so I could have the drugs, we should at least be on a first name basis.
“Libby, I’d like to check you so I can update your doctor and put in orders for something to help you with the pain if you’ve decided to alter your labor plan.” God bless you doc. I looked at Logan, and he nodded. Fuck the plan. It was easy to say you want to do it without drugs when you were sitting on your couch eating popcorn. Like doctor Haskins pointed out, this wasn’t the movies, and these contractions were a real bitch.
“Sounds like a grand plan.” Without hesitation, he rolled forward on his chair and told me I might feel a little pinch. I tried to focus on Logan’s handsome face. Even that couldn’t distract me.
“Your chart said you were having some back pain yesterday.” I hadn’t mentioned it to Logan, he didn’t seem happy to hear the news.
“Yes, but I didn’t think it was anything major.” I tried to downplay the pain I had been in since the day before.
“Well, it seems Mr. Barnes was right about you being in active labor. You’re one hundred percent effaced, and six centimeters dilated.” Oh shit, doc really needed to work on his bedside manner.
“Thank god, and its Wheeler.” Logan sighed and let the good doctor off the hook with just a look of warning. Where the hell was Doctor Proby? Relief was written all over his face as he squeezed his hand out from my killer grip. I wasn’t sure his hand could take much more.
“Can I get up and take a shower?” Honestly, I needed to get out of the bed and as silly as it sounded I really just wanted to wash off the “baby goop” that had escaped me when my water broke. I knew it was just the first of more to come, but it would make me feel better.
“Do you want an epidural?”
“Yes,” “No” Logan and I answered at the same time. I’d made him promise when I begged for drugs that he wouldn’t let me give into the temptation. I was a fool to ever think that was a good idea.
“I’ll let you two discuss it. Make sure you help the patient,” Logan gave the doctor an evil glare, “I mean Libby, in and out of the shower.” He left us to argue while Emily busied herself with my bag. The nurse came in a few minutes later to take me off the monitor. Logan helped me out of bed, and although I was mad at him, I was also grateful for him. The shower in the labor suite was larger than the one in our apartment. Logan turned on the water and helped me in before he started to strip out of his clothes.
“What are you doing?” I questioned. Dang, seeing him naked was distracting, until another contraction hit. Nothing could distract me from that. I hung onto the safety bar and lowered my head against the wall as the hot water cascaded over me. Logan turned me into his arms and held me. It was all too much; him, his brother, his niece, the thought that I would be a mother in a matter of hours. I didn’t even ask the doctor about her being early. She wasn’t even born, and I was failing already. Tears racked my body. Logan just held me tighter.
“She’s too early.” I finally stated what weighed most heavily on me at the moment.
“Baby look at me,” he tipped my chin up. “If the doctor were worried for one minute about the baby, he never would have let you off the monitor, and we both know if you or she were in any distress they would have had her out in minutes.” The class on C-sections had scared the crap out of both of us. He was right, so I continued with my worries.
“I snuck behind your back and saw your brother I shouldn’t have done it. I just wanted to help.” Logan was silent for a moment before he pressed his lips softly to mine.
“I would have done the same thing.” I didn’t doubt that for a second.
“I know.” I kissed the heart tattoo on his chest. Logan would do anything for me. For us.
“You would have yelled. We would have fought, and then we would have fucked each other senseless.”
“Don’t I know it.” I didn’t know if it was the water or just being in his arms, but I felt better than I had since I opened his private letter.
“I’m going to miss this.” He pondered as he rubbed my huge belly just as it tightened with another contraction. He turned me toward the water and rubbed giant circles on my back until it was over. Despite the pain, it felt amazing.
“Let’s get you dried off.” Logan dried every inch of me before he put me in a clean hospital gown and slipped into a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt himself. Somewhere along the line, I must have done something right to deserve the love of a man like Logan. I wished I could figure out what it was. A memory of my childhood hit me at that moment. I was out fishing with my Pop Henry. It was just him and me, I loved those special days. I’d caught a fish, but I’d cried when he told me I had to throw it back because it was too small. Pop got down on his knees and lifted my chin, just like Logan just had, and he’d looked into my eyes and said, “Libby girl, catch and release is just what we do. It’s going to be just that much better when you catch a big one.” My Pop was right. Every man I had met before Logan was a throwaway.
“Where’d you just go?” Logan asked with an amused smile on his face.
“Fishing,” was all the answer I gave.
“I’m going to go and get you some ice chips.” I decided against the drugs. If I moved or changed positions after every two or three contractions, I was alright. Currently, I was in bed. Logan kissed me before grabbing the plastic pitcher and leaving the room.
He was only gone for a few minutes when it hit me. “Logan,” I yelled out as I questioned my sanity for thinking I could do this naturally. Logan burst through the door and was instantly by my side, but he wasn’t alone. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, what the hell is Dicklan doing here?” He looked at me; he was white as a ghost before he saw Emily and his color returned. Yes, I wanted him to come back. I wanted my sister to be happy, but right this second, I was a little preoccupied.
“What are you doing here?” Her voice wobbled along with her body. I took her hand in mine offering whatever strength I could to my twin who always supported me.
“I told you I would come back.” Was the lame excuse he offered Emily. Did he have any idea what he had put her through?
“Ooooh,” I groaned, and Logan stroked my hair out of my face with the back of his hand.
“It’s almost over,” Emily relayed as she watched the bedside monitor.
“I need to push,” I told them when doctor Proby finally decided to show up. Emily was trying like hell to give all of her attention to me instead of Declan, whose timing was as bad as mine. It wasn’t working, although it was helping to distract me.
“It’s time Libby.” No shit. Thanks, doc. How much are you getting paid?
Declan moved toward the door, before my sister asked, “Where are you going?” I could tell she was nervous for him to walk out the door. Did she really believe he would finally show up only to leave again?
“I’ll just be outside. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” I couldn’t stand it.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, just stay. I need my sister, and if you’re out of her sight, she won’t be any use to me. God damn motherfucker this hurts; you are so fucking lucky you aren’t the one that did this to me, Logan.” Okay, that was a bitchy thing to say, but he had been warned in advance not to listen to anything I babbled during labor. I gave Declan my best don’t fuck with me look, and he sat his ass back down on the sofa in the corner. Logan kissed me and told me how proud he was of me.
I’d never been more proud in my life. Libby almost broke my hand. Twice. She did it without drugs, and when they placed our daughter on her bare chest, I knew I would never see anything more beautiful in my life. We all had tears in our eyes.
“What is this beauty’s name?” the doctor asked as she wiped her off. Libby kissed the top of the baby’s head before she looked up at me. Nothing but pure love shown in her eyes. All the pain she just pushed through was instantly forgotten.
“What is your daughter’s name, Daddy?” We had talked about names. I had some idea of what Libby liked, but she had never told me she was giving me this honor. I wiped away her tears while I considered it.
“Aria.” Her mother may have healed my once broken heart, but this child gave our love wings. She didn’t just help us to fly. Because of her, we soared.